


Unforeseen

by Madison



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Drama, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Lemon, Mating, Romance, Sexual Content, Wolf Pack, Youkai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2017-11-11 08:17:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 159,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/476498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madison/pseuds/Madison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Time was supposed to heal all wounds, but in her case it did not. Perhaps an old friend could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting Through Time

_Knock._

"Kagome?"

Another  _knock._

"Kagome?"

She flipped around in her bed to lie on her stomach and she grunted. When the noise did not cease, she snatched her pillow from under her belly and covered her heat with it. She was  _not_  a morning person. Really, who was? She kept her eye closed, hoping it was a bad nightmare and the banging noise would eventually go away.

_Knock. Knock._

_Apparently not._

Maddened, she threw her pillow on the ground and managed to drag her body out of bed. Immediately, the bright light breaking through her curtains attacked her eyes and she raised a hand to shield them. She gave herself a strong push, making it on her feet before yanking her body in direction of the door.

As soon as she was close enough to reach it, Kagome wrapped her fingers around the handle and opened the door. On the other side was her smiling mother with her head tilted to the side.

"Good morning."

"Morning," Kagome said politely before walking back in direction of her bed.

Maybe  _one_  person was happy in the morning. She did not understand why though; mornings were  _evil_. Kagome huffed as she dropped down on her bed in a sitting position. Her mother tiptoed around her room trying to avoid the clothes and books that covered the floor.

It was a  _little_  messy. Unfortunately, cleaning it required effort and energy and she no longer had either of those.

"I have to drive your brother to his soccer practice, so I won't have time to pick up groceries. Could you go for me?"

Kagome allowed her head to drop forward. "Sure, no problem."

"Thank you."

Her mother did not linger and as soon as Kagome heard the door close she sighed and headed for the window. She fumbled with the pink fabric of her curtains and peeked at the world outside. It remained the same while she felt she changed so much. Looking at Tokyo, it was hard to tell two years had passed since the well stopped working.

Kagome could still remember the feeling she experienced when she was unwillingly pulled inside the well and locked away in her own era forever.

She was given no time for goodbyes, no time for decisions. All her friends, Shippo,  _Inuyasha_ , they all were separated from her by five hundred years of time and history.

She tried to go back, she really did.

Every single day, for four months, she would jump down that well. To nobody's surprise, she always found herself stuck at the bottom. Every day turned into every couple of days, then into every week and finally into every month. Even though she was certain the well would never work again she jumped in monthly.  _In case_. Maybe she liked to unnecessarily make herself suffer.

She spent the first month completely heart broken. It was not until the third month that she began visiting the outside world – a place that was not her bedroom qualified as such – and started to live again. At first she went to school, hung out with her friends, pretending the last year of her life did not happen.

As time went by, it became exhausting to ignore such an important part of her life. It was only after much thinking that she realized she had to accept what she lived through and had come to terms with the fact that it was now gone. It was not easy and it required much time but after two years she could say that she felt better.

Of course she missed them,  _him_ , but she no longer suffered the way she used to. In the end she was aware that Sango and Miroku had each other and were probably looking over Shippo. Inuyasha had to be fine as well. He was not the aggressive, untrusting hanyou he used to be. She had no doubt he found someone to make him happy, someone who accepted him.

Sadness pinged at her heart but she ignored it.

Kagome also changed during those years. She was no longer the same girl who fell down the well three years ago. She would not go as far as saying she was a woman but she grew up. The world was no longer exactly as she used to see it but it was still filled with wonders to discover, experiences to live and people to meet. She just had to find those  _experiences and wonders_.

It was not exactly as if she had a budding social life at the moment.

During her traveling year, she collected her share of bad grades. Because of that, her friends ended up applying to high end universities while she was left behind with very few options. On top of that, there was also the fact that she was needed around the shrine. Her grandfather was not getting any younger and Souta needed to focus on school.

Kagome pulled herself out of her thoughts by fully opening her curtains. No time for dwelling on her thoughts, she had work to do apparently.

She quickly took off her pink and yellow checkered pyjamas and exchanged it for a medium size yellow t-shirt and a pair of shorts. She grabbed the first elastic she found and quickly tangled her long hair into a messy bun. Satisfied with her look, she headed downstairs.

The kitchen was empty which meant everyone left already. Since even her grandfather was missing, Kagome could only assume he went to Souta's practice. Of course, he did not go there to encourage his grandson but mostly to convince him that being a monk was a much better career choice than being a soccer player.

She shook her head softly before grabbing the envelope her mother left for her on the counter. Inside was money to cover the cost of groceries along with the list of items she wanted. Kagome took her keys, shoved them in her pocket, and prepared herself to confront the scorching heat that awaited her outside. In a few months she would be able to drive instead of walking.

The blinding bright sun burned her as soon as she stepped outside, forcing Kagome to glance down at the ground to protect her eyes. She dashed down the many stairs as fast as possible, only to find herself exhausted when she reached the last one. Her lack of exercise during the past two years was beginning to show.

Though it was still a bit early, Tokyo was bright and alive. The streets were filled with cars and the people were out walking around, doing the errands, and enjoying the convenience of the modern era.

The wind was gently blowing against her skin, twirling her wild hair as she kept walking towards her destination, somewhat oblivious to her surroundings. She was but a street away of the grocery store when suddenly she heard a  _whimpering, whining_ -like sound. Kagome stopped dead in her tracks and began glancing left and right, looking for the source of the noise.

She was about to assume she hallucinated it when she heard it again.

Kagome snapped her head to the left and quietly approached the little park. She lingered around the bushes knowing it was where the animal was hiding. Careful, so as to not scare it, she parted the bushes slowly and peeked inside. Kagome found herself gasping at the unexpected and strange sight in front of her; a wolf.

What in the world was a  _wolf_  doing in the middle of Tokyo?

At first, her instincts were telling her to run away but before she had a chance to do that, she realized the wolf did not even care about her. Instead, it was peering down at a deep wound on its front left paw. Saddened, Kagome crouched down to get a better look at it. A normal person would be terrified but she saw worse monsters in the Feudal Era. Plus, she had  _good_  experiences with wolves.

She immediately noticed blood was tainting the brown fur of its paw and the grass around it. Before she had a chance to lean forward, the wolf began sniffing and raising his head. She froze into place when his gaze met hers. The animal had the  _deepest_  blue eyes she ever saw. She wanted to back away but instead a feeling of familiarity enveloped her.

"Stay here," she whispered, hoping the wolf could understand her.

There was no way she was getting that wolf out of the bush but she refused to leave it there in pain. She rose to her feet and scanned the area rapidly until her eyes landed on a pharmacy. She did not think twice before running in the direction of the store, ignoring all the cars coming her way. She pulled the door open violently and headed down the first aisle she saw.

Bandages? Would it even hold? She at least needed something to disinfect the wound! Wait – was that safe to use on animals? She  _did_  use some of those things on Inuyasha, Kouga and Shippo. They were… somewhat animals.

Once she gathered the items, she dashed for the cashier. It was not until she laid the items on the counter that she remembered; she only had the money her mother gave her. She  _was_ supposed to get groceries with it but… this was an emergency. Feeling a tiny pinch of guilt, she took the envelope out of her pocket and handed the money to the employee.

She quickly shoved the change back in the envelope, grabbed the handles of the plastic bag and rushed outside. She prayed nobody found the wolf or that he did not run away. He was not  _dangerous_ ; if he was he would have attacked her by now.  _Right?_

As soon as she pulled the branches of the bush apart and saw the wolf lying there, she sighed in relief. Kagome did her best to squeeze herself inside the small, constrained area. She laid the products on the ground (20) and glanced up at the wolf  _just_  to make sure he was not going to bite her head off or anything.

Strangely, all it did was stare at her. Kagome took a deep breath before focusing her attention back on its paw.

"This is going to sting," she said, despite the fact that he could not understand her.

She poured the liquid on his wound and nearly jumped in fear when the wolf growled. Kagome winced as if it was her only way to defend herself in case the wolf decided to attack. However, the seconds went by and nothing happened. She dared to open her eyes only to find the wolf with his eyes closed, probably waiting for her to proceed.

Even if this was not a wild  _beast_ , his behaviour struck her as odd and Kagome could not prevent herself from arching an eyebrow. This wolf was very obedient, more obedient than she thought it  _should_  be. Could his injury really make him so defenceless? She was not about to complain but it struck her as odd nonetheless. Chasing the thought from her mind, she grabbed the bandages and began wrapping up the wolf's injury. Once she was done, a satisfied smiled appeared upon her lips.

"All wrapped up!" she told the wolf as she made it back up.

She peeked around and noticed the area was fairly empty. "I guess this is your chance. Be careful," she said as she watched the wolf slowly limp out of his hiding spot.

He peered at her, his eyes longing for  _something_  before he turned his head away from her. Kagome could do nothing but stand there as she watched it walk away and made sure nobody caught sight of him. She still could not explain  _how_  he made it in the city like this since there was no forest or any area he could have come from. Maybe it was how he got injured; he strayed too far from home.

A sigh rolled off her lips as he disappeared from her sight and she was then promptly reminded of the task that brought her outside in the first place. She could no longer get the groceries her mother asked her to. Though she did not use all the money; maybe she could get at least a few items.

As Kagome walked away all that remained in her mind were those blue piercing eyes.

Why did they seem so familiar?

-U-

His speed definitely suffered from his injury but it was nothing that would prevent him from getting to safety. From where he was, he could see his house and his only goal was to get there. Of course, at the moment he was slightly distracted. He saw  _her_. As soon as he glanced at her face he believed he was hallucinating; how could she possibly be alive five hundred years later? But the more he looked at her, the more she spoke… he was forced to realize it was true.

There was also that divine scent of her.  _That_  could not be mistaken.

The events that just took place filled his mind with questions. Though his main goal should be to get home before he stupidly injured himself again. Afterwards, he would focus on finding her. Although… was that a wise idea? Maybe leaving her alone was best but he could hardly help himself! It was _her_  – after all this time…

He wanted answers and he  _needed_  to see her in his actual form, not this wounded wolf shape.

As the wind blew through his dark brown fur, he rushed to his front door, hoping to make it without arousing suspicions. He slid through the side panel and relief came over him as he entered his home. Mere seconds went by before he regained his actual form. As he grew in size, the bandage  _she_  wrapped around his left hand ripped open.

It dropped to the ground, completely soaked in blood. Kouga, who was now completely bare, bent down and picked it up. As he held it tightly in his hand, he headed for the couch and grabbed the clothes he left there earlier. He quickly slipped on his black t-shirt along with a dark grey pair of boxers that was covered by jeans. His hair was as long as ever, freely cascading down his shoulders.

Kouga glanced down at his hand, where the wound still visible, and scoffed.

 _Kagome_.

She sure was one of a kind. Nobody else would dig through bushes, looking for an injured animal. Nobody else would help a dangerous wolf regardless of the risks. Not once did she stop to think that he might hurt her. He would not have, obviously, but if it were another youkai there instead of him…

"Hey Kouga! You're back."

Ginta bolted in direction of Kouga only to have his nose assailed by the scent of blood. He came to a halt before quickly quirking an eyebrow as curiosity settled in. "What happened to your hand?"

"It was just a scratch," Kouga said dismissively.

Truth was, he should not have gone for a  _little_   _walk_. He usually did it once a while but today turned out  _bad_. Day walks were his favorites, and he knew how to be discreet, but he missed a  _trap_  today and ended up injured. Since he was far from home when it happened, he decided to hide and wait for his wound to heal. Because of his youki, it would have taken an hour at the most.

It was then that she found him.

Unfortunately for him, he had no idea where to find her. All he knew was that her name was Kagome and she was a miko. That did not help much since mikos no longer existed, or if they did, they did not know they had that kind of power. Also, Japan was a big place and many women shared her name. Of course, there were means of finding people in this day and age that did not exist back then.

"Ginta, do something for me. Search the area for a  _Kagome_."

Ginta's eyes widened. Surely Kouga was not referring to who he thought he was. Yet, it had to be her since they did not know any other Kagome. "Sis? But how-"

Kouga nodded with a smirk beaming on his face.

"I don't know. I guess we'll find out."

 _Oh yes_ , he could still remember the day he kidnapped Kagome and claimed her as his woman. Man, could she  _slap_. Gosh, he was such a foolish cub back then. He thought that if he kept insisting, she would eventually give in and be his. Boy was he wrong. After a year, he finally understood that it would never work and he gave up on her.

He did leave it open ended though.

She was everything he wanted, or at least he thought so back then. He threw himself at her constantly, taking every rejection as if they were an invitation to try harder. And Kagome… she gently and softly turned him down each time even though he probably annoyed the hell out of her. Though she never technically said  _no_. She did, however, stutter, mumble, slap him…

Yeah, it was like a  _no_.

"I'll get right on it," Ginta said with a pinch of excitement going through him.

He still did not figure out how this was possible but… _Kagome?_  Even though she did not mean to Kouga the same thing as she did five hundred years ago, she was still  _pack_  and a friend. She helped them more than once and he would be thrilled to see her again. Plus, she was someone who was  _there_  when all hell broke loose.

Kouga could not wipe the smirk off his face. He could not help but wonder how she would react when he would show up at her door. Kagome was known for her very expressive reactions and this one he would not miss.

He walked over to his couch and plopped down. He could not believe how many things they had to talk about and share. There was also everything he accomplished since he last saw her. The world was quite different from back then especially for youkais. They were no longer able to roam freely and had to resort to hiding.

Really he did not mind it that much but sometimes it was nice to be himself.

Anyone that was not pack or youkai, he had to lie to constantly. It was going to be a nice change to talk to someone without hiding himself or babbling about a fake identity.

"Well, I got a  _list_."

Ginta appeared in the living room and walked in direction of the couch where he took it upon himself to sit beside Kouga. "I was able to find about  _ten_ Kagome in the area."

He handed the list to Kouga, who almost snatched it from him. His blue eyes scanned the paper rapidly, trying to find  _something_  that could differentiate a name from the others. Age was not much help since he never knew how old she was and all he had was an estimate. As he desperately tried to detect a detail, he found himself reading an interesting piece of information.

 _Higurashi Shrine_.

Anyone could live on a shrine but the chances that  _his_  Kagome lived there were fairly high. Kouga decided it was worth a shot and folded the sheet of paper so that he could see only  _her_  address. His smirk grew in size as he rose from his seat. He would go pay her a little visit soon. There was no point in going now since she was probably not home yet.

Now that it was  _real_  and possible, he felt nervous. Kagome was about to see him in his actual form. Last time she saw him he was a rugged wolf and he had changed since then. Also, they were friends, in the past, which was a status he was happy to have but it did not change that he liked her for a long time. Even now she was still as beautiful and sweet as the day he met her.

This was going to be nothing more than a meeting between old friends but he had a feeling her dazzling smile could still get his heart racing. Though he was no longer the stubborn, wild pup running on hormones he was back then.

After all, he already saw her and all it did was make him happy. Kouga met different women during the past five hundred years and Kagome was not like any of them. It was strange to think she remained so pure in such a corrupted world. Perhaps it was why she was always so  _noticeable_.

Hopefully, he was not associated with any bad memories. Kouga was unable to explain why she was alive and what happened to her which meant he would be careful. There had to be an explanation but he could only hope it was not a bad one. He knew she  _disappeared_ , or at least it was how the hanyou explained it.

It was not even a real answer. Inuyasha just said those three little words; Kagome went home. No matter how much Kouga pestered him about it, Inuyasha never gave him more information. Back then it did not made much sense, but Inuyasha was so gloomy, even unwilling to fight that Kouga stopped pushing the issue. However, he was now beginning to understand. He maybe had an explanation but he would not go into crazy theories until he spoke with Kagome.

"Are we going now?"

Kouga shook his head. "No, we're not. But  _I_  will be going later."

He knew there were probably excited to see the girl they used to call  _sis_  but he did not want to overwhelm Kagome with the presence of many people. It would be best if he went alone for the first meeting.

Kouga glanced down at his watch and tilted his head to the side. He would give her an hour or two.

-U-

"Kagome, where are the sweet potatoes?"

She cringed as she entered the kitchen.  _Right,_ she forgot to mention the little incident. "Well you see… there was an emergency."

This was going to make her sound slightly insane but Kagome knew better than to lie to her mother, not that she had any reason to. It was not like Miyu could not understand. Kami knew her mother put up with a lot during her travels and Kagome could most likely get away with many things. If one person would not classify her as crazy, it was her mother.

"I had to buy some medical supplies to help an injured wolf."

"An injured wolf?" her mother inquired as she dropped the empty plastic bag on the counter. "Is it okay?"

Kagome could not stop the smile that reached her lips; her mother's reaction was almost expected, yet surprising at the same time. "I think so. I wrapped up his paw but then he left. I don't know where he's from or where he was going."

"Wolf around here? That's pretty strange. I don't think that's ever happened before."

Kagome offered a shrug. She found it just as strange.

"Oh well. I'll pick up potatoes on my way," she said with a smile. "Dinner will be ready soon."

"Great, I'm starving."

Another advantage of being home all the time, instead of traveling, was that she did not have to worry about meals. Instead of ramen every night, it was delicious home cooked meals. A sigh rolled off her lips; she really had to stop comparing both eras. It was unhealthy and it was not helping her move on.

Kagome turned around ready to head back to the living room when all the sudden Souta walked inside the house with a puzzled look on his face.

She raised an eyebrow, curious. "Something wrong?"

"Yeah, with Grandpa," Souta said as he slipped his shoes off. "He's outside mumbling to himself."

"Well, he  _is_  getting older."

She was not trying to be rude but it was the truth. For years now their grandfather told tales of the past except now he was beginning to lose track of them and… apparently talking to himself.

"He's even throwing that weird sand around."

Kagome smiled out of nostalgia, the past still haunting her. She remembered perfectly when her grandfather used to bury Inuyasha under powder and spells while screaming  _youkai_! The only positive thing that came out of that was that they now knew that in case of emergency they should  _never_  use her grandfather's spells.

She pinched her lips together and almost smiled at the memories. She was tempted to glance outside, as if a part of her was hoping to find Inuyasha standing there, grumbling and threatening her grandfather. She took a deep breath with every intention of stopping herself but her feet moved nonetheless.

_One look would not hurt._

Kagome tilted her body to the side to get a better view of her grandfather.

It came as no surprise when she saw him standing alone, talking to himself, with a broom in his hand. She was about to pull away when she suddenly noticed a strange shadow. She frowned before moving forward, trying to determine what it was. It looked… like the silhouette of a person.

"Mom, I think grandpa is yelling at someone," Kagome said stunned.

She heard her mother sigh, though she still sounded happy. "Who is it this time," her mother asked as she kept chopping the vegetables.

Kagome shrugged her shoulders and shifted uncomfortably, a weird feeling surrounding her. Again, that shiver of familiarity washed over her. She pressed her lips together as she dared to take a few steps outside. Something was  _tickling_  her skin and she knew she  _had_  to go and find out who it was by herself.

Her breathing was hectic and her heart was pounding so loud, it filled her mind and shut out every other sound.

It was not until she was near that the light finally exposed the person standing near her grandfather. At that moment she did not hear her grandfather's insane ramblings or the way he was throwing sand around. The only thing that had her full attention was _him_. Those  _piercing_  blue eyes she knew, tanned skin and dark hair wrapped up in a ponytail.

She did not even question it and she did not even think she was insane. This could only be  _Kouga_.

Well, dark shirt, jeans wearing Kouga.

"YOU! YOUKAI! BE GONE!" her grandfather screamed as he reached inside his little pouch, ready to attack the youkai again. Why did all the youkais come to  _his_  shrine?

It was then that Kagome snapped out of it and rushed to grab her grandfather's arm. "Grandpa,  _stop_. He's a friend."

Her slender fingers were wrapped around her grandpa's wrist as she raised her head only to meet Kouga's eyes. He was bearing his…  _invisible_  fangs to her grandfather and he was in a defensive stance. Regardless of all that, he did not seem ready to attack. Inuyasha was ready to  _destroy_  her grandpa the first time he did that to him… Kouga's control was  _surprising_.

Though what was more surprising was  _how_  her grandfather knew Kouga was a youkai when all his features were hidden. Maybe he was not as loony as they thought.

"Kagome, this  _youkai_ ,"

"Is my friend," she said cutting him off. "It'll be fine, I promise," she added before positioning herself in front of him to make sure he would not try anything again.

Her grandpa grunted and frowned as he glanced at Kouga. His gaze lasted a few seconds before he finally tore his eyes away and sighed. His granddaughter hung out with way too many demons; she needed a few  _human_  friends. It was very slowly that he followed her  _advice_  and walked away from them. He made a mental note to keep an eye on them.

Kagome stood in the same spot with her mouth slightly open as she stared at him, in shock. A billion questions ran through her mind as he smirked at her, obviously pleased with her reaction. She waited for him to say something but he seemed to remain completely silent. A tiny smile reached her lips despite how stunned she was.

"That has to be the rudest welcome I've ever received," he finally said.

He brushed the sand off his shoulders and shook his head, some falling off from his scalp. He simply walked up, saw someone and asked if Kagome was home. It was then that the old man attacked him while screaming spells and incantation. For a while there, he truly believed this was the  _wrong_  house.

Apparently not.

"Hm, yeah my grandpa doesn't like youkais." Kagome scoffed. "I can't believe this… I mean I thought... it was just…"

A  _youkai_  in  _her_  era. Not just any crazy, wild and dangerous youkai. A friend!

Before either of them could add anything to the conversation, Kagome closed the distance between herself and Kouga. She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him into a tight embrace. The initial shock of having her body so close to his wore off quite rapidly and he hurried to return the gesture, burying his face in her hair.

This was…  _her other life_. He was part of everything she said goodbye to. The fact that he was standing there in front of her brought hope, though it also brought sadness. Kouga was the only one here, yet he was the only one who did not know about her and her time traveling abilities. She knew what that meant but she did not want to accept it.

Once she pulled away, she put a smile on her face. "How did you know?"

His smirk only grew in size as he raised his hand and showed her his faded injury. Kagome frowned, a bit confused until realization dawned upon her.  _Oh my god._

"You were the injured wolf." She never saw Kouga in his wolf form before, actually she did not even think he could transform. Though it made sense… after all, Sesshomaru could become a giant dog.

"I knew it was you. Nobody else would stop to help a  _wild, dangerous_  wolf."

"You weren't that dangerous," she said while covering a laugh.

"Thank you," he replied in all seriousness.

She shrugged. "Apparently you didn't really need my help. You could have transformed back into your human form."

He nodded, his lips twisted. "Yes, walking around Tokyo naked has always been a dream of mine."

Kagome did not hold her laughter back this time; she forgot that little detail. She also could not believe how  _easy_  it was to talk to him. Kouga changed since the last few times she talked to him in the Feudal Era. Kami, the last time she saw him he told her that once she got tired of Inuyasha, she knew where to find him.

Now, he was  _grown up_ ; he looked like a man. Sturdy shoulders, wide frame and  _very_  muscular arms.

All the hopes, all the things she let go of, he brought back. Knowing that  _he_  was still alive, that this was possible… she had a million questions burning her lips and she held all of them back.

"We're about to have dinner, you wanna join us?"

He shook his head. "Oh, I wouldn't wanna impose. I was just… I was trying to see if this was really you and if I found the right Kagome. The shrine kinda gave it away though."

She smiled. "Yeah, who else lives in a shrine these days." Only her grandfather was attached enough to keep one. "But please stay. My mom would love to have you over, trust me."

He gazed at her smile and her shiny blue eyes and he knew he could not deny her anything.

"Alright then. Dinner it is."

-U-


	2. Reminiscing the Past

"Are you a dog like Inuyasha?"

"I'm not a  _mutt_ , I'm a wolf."

Kagome resisted the urge to smile as she kept pushing her rice around in her plate. The scene unfolding in front of her reminded Kagome of how Souta and Inuyasha used to interact. She was right; Kouga was associated with  _a lot_  of memories. She watched as her brother frowned at Kouga's answer. Souta did not think Inuyasha was a  _mutt_ ; he was so  _cool_! And he had the coolest sword ever!

"I never thought we would meet any other friends of Kagome from the other side of the well," her mother said very enthusiastic.

 _The other side of the well?_  What in the world was this woman talking about? Kouga turned his head to look at Kagome, hoping she would shed some light on the matter.

She resisted the urge to sigh; she did not want to get into it  _right now_. She gave him a look that she prayed he would interpret as,  _I will tell you later._  He gave her a quick nod and focused his attention back on Kagome's mother.

"There are not many of us left really. Most youkais only live to be about six hundred years old. Strong ones reach about a thousand."

_What about hanyous?_

It was the only question that crossed her mind but she did not ask.

No need to bring up  _those_  memories now. Even though it was getting harder to ignore the thoughts forming in the back of her mind. After all, Kouga  _found_  her and he did not know about her time traveling and where she lived. Inuyasha  _knew_. If he was still alive… shouldn't he have come to her?

Unless, he was not –  _no_. Nope, not thinking about that.

"I'm just glad we get to have you over for dinner!" Miyu added, almost as if she noticed the change in atmosphere.

Kagome's grandfather scoffed  _loudly_.

Souta on the other hand was still mesmerized by the youkai sitting next to him. After the well closed, he never thought he would get see one again. "Inuyasha had dog ears. Why are yours normal?"

He almost answered,  _because I'm not a half bred mutt._ Really, he only wanted to say that because he and Inuyasha always fought. Not because he thought hanyous were disgusting. After all, he had been ready to mate Kagome five hundred years ago, so he did not have a problem with them.

"Full youkais have pointy ears, but I'm hiding them," he said between bites.

"He does have a tail though," Kagome casually added.

Kouga could not help but grin. He did not know why but he was happy she remembered. It made him feel like she did notice him in the past even if it was just a little. Heck, she even seemed happy about the memory.

"A tail?  _A real tail_?" Souta's eyes were wide open, amazement shining in them. "Can I see it?"

Kouga twisted his mouth, preventing a sigh from escaping him. He did not mind Kagome's  _kid_  brother, he just did not feel like displaying his youkai heritage for the sake of amusement. He was not a circus animal. That thought alone was enough to make him shudder as he thought about how some  _youkais_  ended up. Gotta do what you gotta do. It was the only way to live for some of them.

"Souta, why don't you let Kouga eat first," Kagome's mother said politely.

"Sorry," Souta mumbled.

Kouga offered Miyu a nod and resumed eating his own meal. There was meat. Very cooked meat. Although he learned to be civilized and even ate at restaurants, he always ordered his meat rare. Five hundred years went by but he still thought cooking it that much ruined the flavor.

"Is it too cooked for you?"

He tilted his head and saw Kagome watching him intensively. She wanted to say she remembered that even Inuyasha was not a big fan of ' _burnt_  meat', as he liked to put it but she kept her mouth shut.

Could she stop thinking about  _him_  for at least one minute?

"Oh, no it's fine," he said dismissively before shoving a huge bite in his mouth.

The rest of the dinner went by fairly smoothly. Souta was eager to ask a million questions but the glances he was getting kept him fairly quiet. Kouga discussed where he lived and how his pack was still nearby, including Ginta and Hakkaku which made Kagome smile.

Once dinner was over, Miyu suggested Kouga and Kagome go catch up while she cleaned up the table.

Trying to shield Kouga from her brother's enthusiasms and her grandfather's glares she brought him upstairs to her room. It was not until she opened the door that Kagome remembered what her bedroom  _looked_ like. Her eyes widened but before she could turn around and back away, Kouga already made his way inside.

A blush decorated her cheeks as she covered her face with her hand. "Mm, yeah I've – been busy _?_ "

"You should see my house," he said with a grin. "Wolves living together. That's all I'm gonna say."

She laughed before awkwardly smoothing her bed and offering him a seat. Kouga was a friend and he even helped them fight many battles. Despite all that, she never got to know him very well. Each time she saw him, he went on and on about how she was his woman and how much he loved her. Or he was fighting with Inuyasha. That never really gave her a chance to find out  _who_  Kouga was.

Technically speaking, it kind of felt like they were strangers.  _Especially_ , since she was certain he changed during the past five hundred years.

For one, he had not grabbed her hands yet and proclaimed his love.

At the thought, she could not help but giggle.

"What's so funny?" he asked with a boyish smile.

"Nothing," she dismissed with a wave of her hand. "I- was thinking about, mm when you would-"

"Ignore how uncomfortable I made you and yell how much I love you?"

She cringed. " _Yeah_."

He rubbed his neck, uneasy. "I was pretty young back then. And you were all –  _different_." Oh yeah, time to change the subject. "Which reminds me,  _other side of the well?_ "

Kagome sighed heavily and dropped her head down. "Oh yeah,  _that_  story _._ " She ignored the way she felt her heart squeeze. The well. It was still a bit of a sensitive subject. "Mm, you remember the well – near Kaede's?"

"The bone eater well?"

" _Yeah_. Well, it's in my backyard. And I –hm. When I jumped through it, I landed five hundred years into the past."

Simple and straight to the point. Now came the part where he might think she was crazy.

"A time traveling  _well_?" he said, almost as if he did not believe her.

"Yeah. Trust me, I didn't know what the heck was going on the first time. I thought I was still in  _Japan –_  my Japan."

"Can you still-"

She interrupted him before he could finish his question. "No. It stopped working after we got rid of the jewel."

Kouga did not miss the sadness in her voice. "So that's what happened. I came back looking for you, you know. I mean, I was just checking up on you." He did  _give her up_  before the final battle. "Muttface said you were gone. He didn't really explain it though. I tried to fight him but he didn't even try to defend himself."

It might be the only time Inuyasha did not want to kick his ass.

As soon as he said that, he felt the shift in Kagome's scent. "Are you okay?"

Her throat was dry and her eyes were burning with tears. "I – Inuyasha could go through the well too." She did not even mean to say it. She did not even mean to tell him how hurt she was. "He- he knew where I lived."

Kouga's heart dropped as he approached her and gently rested a hand on her arm. "Kagome, I said it earlier. Youkais usually live about six hundred years. Inuyasha was a hanyou. I doubt he made it that long." Gently, he rubbed his thumb against her skin.

"Bu-t he could have."

"If he had, I'm sure he would have come see you."

Her pain was still –  _so fresh_. She never got over Inuyasha. He did not think she ever would. "How long has it been for you?"

"About two years."

She knew she was being stupid; she did not want to cry. It was just – Kouga's presence was so unexpected. She was  _convinced_ there were no youkais in her time and then he came strolling in, shattering the little bubble she created for herself. She was  _happy_  to see him but it was like a whirlwind went through her, messing with all of her emotions.

Her scent was highly disturbed and suddenly he felt out of place. Maybe coming was not such a good idea. He was so excited at the idea of seeing her again that he did not think it through. He especially did not think all her wounds were so recent. Heck, for a moment, he thought she actually was five hundred years old.

"Maybe I should-"

" _No!_  I'm sorry, I just. I didn't think any youkais were around. I just – it's all, it hasn't been that long for me. But I'm happy to see you."

She lifted herself on her tippy toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. Once again, he welcomed her embrace and found himself yet again burying his nose in her hair. He forgot all about her scent. He liked it. She was tiny in his arms, almost fragile but he knew better.

Kagome remained in the safety of his arms a bit longer before pulling away. "So, what about you? How does a prince youkai live in the modern world?"

"Pretty shitty," he said with a chuckle. "I mean, it's fine to get by when you're nobody and all, but if you try to become someone it gets complicated. Not aging is the biggest issue. But, you know. I gathered a decent fortune over the centuries. So I'm alright."

"Do you work?"

"Here and there sometimes. Mostly cause it gets boring. Some nights I do bartending, other times some security gigs. Nobody can outrun me."

Somehow, that fitted the Kouga she knew perfectly. She certainly did not see him working in an office.

"Are you going to school?"

"Wanted to, but traveling in the Feudal Era doesn't give you much time to study. My grades are pretty bad."

She could probably apply to a community college and they would accept her but she did not even know what she would study. Despite the two years that went by, she did not have a clue what she wanted to do with her life. She spent so many years focused on the jewel that she thought it was going to  _be_  her whole life.

She also never thought she would be locked on the other side of the well forever.

"Meh, school is stupid anyway." He went a few times but he did not like it. They expected him to go every day and  _sit_  in a chair. He was antsy any time he had to be still for more than a few hours.

She smiled and nodded. Inuyasha would have agreed with that.

Inuyasha. Inuyasha. Inuyasha. He never left her mind and yet she was sure she never thought about him as much as she had today.

"Ya know, Ginta and Hakkaku really wanted to come with me. They were really excited that we found you."

"Are they still calling me  _sis_?" She remembered the first time they used that nickname. She was stunned to say the least. Granted, it was right after Kouga man-handled her and proclaimed she was going to be his.

"I don't think they ever stopped." It did start because she was supposed to be his but now it was much more than that. More than once she saved their lives and they were all grateful for it. "Whether you're my woman or not, you're still pack, Kagome."

She looked  _lonely_. In the past, he would never use that adjective to describe her but now it was too obvious to ignore.

"Thanks, Kouga."

It did make her feel better. She spent more time in her own era than in the past and yet she felt like she belonged there more than she did here. It was not the same.

"You should come visit, the boys would love it."

Going out the other day to pick up groceries was probably the first time in a while she actually was  _outside_. Her friends were pretty far and since they were at university, hanging out usually meant going to a party and Kagome was not a party girl.

She could hear in her mind her mother saying,  _it would be a good idea. You could use some fun!_

"Sure, I'd like that."

"I can come pick you up tomorrow if you want."

Oh. Right away? "Hm- sure. Tomorrow works." It was not like she had anything to do.  _Ever_.

"Great."

Suddenly, Kouga felt an annoying presence behind him and he turned his head to see Kagome's grandfather standing in the doorway. "It is late."

"I guess that's my cue to go," Kouga said, smiling at her.

"Grandpa is just grumpy."

"It's alright. It is getting pretty late. Thank you for having me over for dinner." He bent down forward and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "I'll pick ya up around ten or eleven."

She nodded and waved at him while he walked out of her room. Her grandfather and him shared a glare and then he was gone. She sat on her bed, a small smile on her lips.

Life always knew how to throw a curve her way.

-U-

"So was it her?"

They sniffed.

" _It is sis!_ "

"How!"

"What she like? Is she old? Why is she still alive?"

"Was she a youkai this whole time?"

"Would you both  _shut up_?" Kouga snarled as he tried to make his way inside his house.

The moment he arrived, they jumped at him and began harassing him with questions. "It  _was_  her. She looks the same. She's basically the same age. No, she isn't a damn youkai."

Ginta blinked. "But then, how is she alive?"

He sighed. "She was – it was  _time traveling_."

"Time traveling? How?"

"I don't know okay. She just traveled through time." He did not really feel like explaining about the well and anyway it did not matter. Kagome was here and she was… Kagome. It was all he needed to know.

"Are we gonna see her?"

"She's coming here tomorrow."

Their lips twitched into smiles. "Really? Great!"

"Wait, shouldn't we clean this place then?"

Most of the time it was just the three of them but often they had other wolves staying over. Times were harder for some than most, especially if they were trying to conform to human laws as much as possible. Some lost their apartment and they came to Kouga. As the pack leader, he always gave them somewhere to stay and some food. Then, once they got back on their feet, they left.

Except for Kouga's room, which was off limits, most of the house looked like a tornado blew through it.

He ran his fingers through his bangs and sighed. "You guys better get to it."

"UU-us?"

"Well, it ain't my mess. I ain't gonna clean it."

He rose to his feet rapidly and climbed the stairs to reach his bedroom. He would help later but now he wanted to be alone in his own room. He tossed himself on his bed and buried his face in his pillow. His nose was  _filled_  with her scent. He could not get rid of it. She hugged him and imprinted her scent on his  _shirt_. His clothes, his skin; they were covered in it.

Although her scent was slightly different than he remembered. The stench of sadness ruined it a bit.

It killed him that she was depressed. She hid it behind her beautiful smile but she could not fool his nose. Five hundred years ago, he promised he would be the one to make her happy. He swore he would not make her as miserable as Inuyasha was making her.

Five hundred years later, she was still sad over Inuyasha.

The mutt was probably  _dead_. She should not feel rejected by him. Back then, he did not know what he had and if he was still alive now, he apparently still did not have a clue.

Maybe it would ease her heartbreak to have an answer.

He groaned. Was he really going to try and find  _him_?

It _would_  make Kagome happy. Hopefully. It was not like he was trying to be with her or anything so why did it matter if he found Inuyasha for her? He was done chasing after a woman whose heart belonged to someone else. They were friends. At least, they were in the past. It was not that long ago for her.

Yeah, he would try to see if anyone knew anything about Inuyasha's fate.

Now if he could only get his heartbeat to stop speeding up every time he inhaled deeply, everything would be great.

-U-

The clock ticked ten in the morning when Kouga knocked on the shrine's door. A happy, smiling Miyu opened the door. Her lips stretched even more when she looked at him.

"Kouga!  _Good morning!_ Please come in!"

Without even giving him a chance to respond, she moved out of the way and gestured for him to enter.

Once he was inside, he offered her a small bow. "Thank you."

"Would you like some tea?"

"Oh – hm, no thank you. I'll just wait for Kagome here."

"Nonsense. If she's expecting you, just go upstairs. Do you remember where her room is?"

He nodded.

"Then, please, just go! I'm sure she's waiting for you."

Why was he somewhat uncomfortable about being allowed upstairs so easily? Actually, maybe it was how nice her mother was to him that disturbed Kouga. Nonetheless, he smiled.

"Thank you."

He frowned. "For what?"

"For making her smile again."

Apparently, he was not the only that noticed how unhappy she was. He thought, knowing Kagome, that she was trying extra hard to hide it from her family. It seemed her sadness was so great that everyone could see right through her smile.

"I want her to be happy."

"I know."

Kagome looked like a happier person the moment she walked in the house to announce Kouga was staying over for dinner. She even allowed herself to act like her old self. After watching her daughter wallow in unhappiness for two years, it was a breath of fresh air. She did not know much about the man in front of her but her daughter trusted him and it was enough for her.

 _"Go_ ," she said before waving him off.

Now someone else was trying to get Kagome out of the house and she was glad. Although, she did not think her daughter would appreciate Kouga coming in her room while she was still sleeping. Unfortunately, it was the only way to get her going. Kagome was not a morning person and she could be quite stubborn.

She would be a little angry at first but it would all be better in the end.

Kouga hopped the steps two a time. It took him a moment to re-familiarize himself with his surroundings but quickly enough he located her bedroom. He gently knocked on the door and waited.

Nothing.

He pressed his ear to the door and listened. After a few seconds, he realized there were no sounds coming from her bedroom. Maybe her mother was wrong, maybe Kagome was not in there.

Should he try to go in? He frowned before wrapping his fingers around the handle. If she was not around then it would not to any harm to peek inside. Although it was not  _his_  bedroom… If she walked in on him she might feel like he was invading her privacy.

He did get her mother's permission though.

_To hell with it._

He turned the knob and opened the door. What he found inside was nothing like what he expected.

Instead of emptiness, he found  _her_. Sleeping.

There, in the left corner, was Kagome sleeping in her bed with a bundle of blankets covering her. It looks like she fought with them during the night – and they won. Her hair was a mess and the pink shirt of her pajamas rose above her bellybutton, exposing just the right amount of skin.  _Oh_ , and she was snoring.

Yes. Focus on the snoring.

As if on cue, she snored even louder. He could not hold back his laughter.

Unfortunately for him that noise, and his aura, was enough to stir her out of her sleep. Before her eyes were even opened, she mumbled. " _Sit_."

All of a sudden, he was not laughing anymore.

Obviously Inuyasha would be the one to ruin his good mood.

Kagome groaned as she forced her eyes opened. Something felt odd about her bedroom and it disturbed her dreams. She glanced at the well only to feel a familiar  _zing_  in her chest. Immediately, she sat up and tossed her body in direction of the door.

First, she looked at Kouga with eyes wide open.

Second, she screamed.

Third, she became angry.

And fourth, she threw at him everything she could get her hands on.

Kouga laughed a bit more as he ran outside of her bedroom. He remembered hearing that Kagome was not a morning person. They never described it accurately enough. He was laughing so hard that his stomach hurt.

Meanwhile, Kagome rushed to her feet and slammed the door closed before pressing her back against it. The adrenaline died down and her brain finally processed what just took place. After a few more deep breaths, she re-opened the door and glared at Kouga who was patiently waiting on the other side with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"What are you doing here?"

"We agreed I was gonna pick ya up tomorrow. Remember?"

"I didn't think you meant in the morning!"

"It's ten."

Her mouth formed an oval and then she smacked her lips together.  _Already_? Was it too late to turn down his invitation and go back to bed? Though her dream was kind of too familiar. She did not particular enjoy dreaming about sitting Inuyasha. As a matter of fact, anything Inuyasha related made her unsettled.

"Look, Kagome if ya don't wanna come…" Sometimes, he was certain she forgot he could smell her emotions. Way to make him feel guilty.

"No – I just –  _mornings are evil_. Go wait downstairs." She  _almost_  cringed. She was not trying to be rude but she was not a nice person to be around five minutes after she woke up.

He nodded and sheepishly walked away from her bedroom.  _Okay, now she felt bad_. She slowly closed the door and sighed. She wondered if by now Kouga realized she was not the same Kagome as before.

Downstairs, Kouga was awkwardly standing in the kitchen. Miyu was preparing lunch not far from him but he did not dare to interrupt. Also, he was thinking about what happened with Kagome. Five hundred years later and she still was not happy to see him when he showed up at her door.

He still could not get a hint apparently.

"I guess she was still sleeping."

"Hm – yeah."

He did not know how to deal with parents. He was never really good with any of that stuff and to be honest he did not have much practice.

"I remember you now. Kagome talked about you once."

"She did?" He did not mean to sound so impatient but it slipped him. Hopefully, she told a  _good_  story. He nearly cringed; there were not really any…

"Yes. You're – you're the one who asked her," she paused, looking for the right words, "to be your woman, if I'm not mistaken."

He blushed. He more like demanded it hence why she slapped the heck out of him. "Something like that," he mumbled.

"She misses him. It was really hard for her to be unexpectedly thrown back here. I think she – I know she had decided to stay there." Miyu already knew Kagome's choice long before Kagome realized she  _would_  have a decision to make. Losing her daughter would make her sad but having her here unhappy also made her sad.

He never understood  _why_. Sure, Inuyasha protected Kagome a few times but… at what cost? She had to let him hurt her over and over again. Why would she ever tolerate such a situation? She was strong willed and stubborn. She was not like any woman he ever met. How could she take that kind of crap from him? What did he give her that made it all worth it?

"She's Kagome. She'll bounce back."

Miyu nodded and despite her smile, he knew she was not convinced.

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of loud footsteps. Kouga looked up only to see Kagome going down the stairs. Her long hair was finally straightened up and she was wearing a blue dress with a yellow small coat over it.

The moment she arrived downstairs, her stomach growled to announce her arrival to everyone. She blushed and kept her gaze down.

"Breakfast, then we go."

-U-

"A car?  _You_  get around in a  _car_?"

"It's actually a lie. This isn't my car. I use jewel shards to speed through the streets of Tokyo."

"I just – it's weird."

"Tell me about it."

He felt like using a car undermined his natural abilities but what else was he supposed to do? Everything was about blending in nowadays and he had no other choice. He would much rather carry her in his arms and bolt to his house like in the good old days.

Kouga opened the door for her and watched her smile. This was a little funny. He might be used to the whole ' _acting human thing_ ' but she was not. Her morning grumpiness wore off, especially after she ate and now she was actually looking forward to the day. Wolves in modern times. That was going to be interesting.

Once they were both settled in, Kouga decided to break the silence. "Sorry about earlier. Your mom told me you were ready."

"I don't like mornings."

"Yeah, kinda got that."

"Inuyasha used to wake me up at dawn and I'd sit him all the way through hell." At first, she laughed at the memory but after a few seconds, a bit of sadness settled in.

 _Inuyasha_. Again.

The rest of the drive was fairly quiet. Luckily, Kouga's house was near hers. A few minutes passed and then he parked in front of a large house.

"This is where you live?" she asked as she came out of the car.

"It has to be big enough for everyone."

She raised an eyebrow. "Everyone?"

"I'm the leader," he said with a smirk. "I take care of everyone who needs it."

She never forgot that about him. Kouga really cared for his own and he risked his life more than once for them.

While Kagome looked at the door, she saw two heads poking from the window. "Is that-"

"I told ya they were excited."

He put his hand on her back and guided her forward. He did not seem to think twice about it but she could not help but feel the warmth transferring from his palm to her back.

Before they even made it to the door, it burst open. " _Sis!_ "

Ginta and Hakkaku ran towards her with huge smiles on their faces. They both threw their arms around her and squeezed as tightly as possible. Kagome gasped and despite the fact that she felt like she was being crushed, she tried to hug back.

"Give the girl some space, will ya?"

They blushed slightly before pulling away. "Sorry, we just – we missed ya so much, Sis. We never thought we would see you again! Kouga was so sad when he thought you were dead. I mean, he was cr-"

Ginta never got a chance to finish his sentence since a hand was clamped down on his mouth. "I think that's enough catching up," he said before dragging Ginta inside the house.

Once Ginta and Kouga were in the house, Hakkaku leaned in closer to Kagome. "He cried," he finished with a teasing smile.

Kagome never thought much of Kouga's crush on her. He was nice and sweet, a bit persistent, but she never thought it was  _real_. He did not know her and they never really talked. She believed he  _thought_  he was in love with her but he was not actually.

Maybe, she was wrong.

She felt bad that some people were out there hurt, never knowing what happened to her. She never meant for it to go down like that. If she could have, she would have stayed.

Kagome followed the boys inside, staring in awe at the house. It was  _much_  more different than his  _old_ den.

"What do ya think?"

"It's more  _human_ ," she said with a smile tugging at her lips. "So you all leave here?"

"It's just us three most of the time," Ginta said with a shrug. "Sometimes, we're more."

"Like today."

Kouga frowned. "What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"Oh, some of the guys showed up this morning. They couldn't pay rent and now they ain't got nowhere to live. We told them to stay."

Kouga kept his anger checked, a growl threatening to come out. They spent the morning cleaning so that everything would be perfect for Kagome's visit. Now, he was certain everything was a mess again. Not only that, but Kagome was not used to wolves. They might act more human in public but when they were in the safety of their pack, they remained who they were.

" _Shit_."

His choice of words surprised Kagome. She did not really care if he cursed but Kouga was… well, he remained fairly polite and… unlike himself ever since he showed up at her house last night. Even his trademark cocky attitude was missing. Did five hundred years really change someone that much?

"You alright, Sis?"

"Oh yeah, I was thinking how much Kouga changed. He's not really as cocky as before."

Ginta and Hakkaku stared at her for a moment as if she had just said the craziest thing they ever heard. Then, they began to laugh out loud. They grabbed their stomachs, bending in two with laughter.

"Ko-uga, not co-cocky?"

Kouga glared in their direction but it did not stop them from laughing. Kagome might have just said the most hilarious joke ever.

"Are you sure you've been hanging out with her?" Ginta asked before trying to catch his breath. Man, he laughed so hard he was almost crying.

Kagome stared at all three of them, clearly confused. "I'm not sure I understand."

"Just – trust me, he's still a cocky wolf." Ginta grabbed her hand. "Come on, I'll introduce you to everyone."

"Why are you acting all weird with her?"

"I'm not," Kouga said harshly.

"She thinks you're not cocky."

He did not know how to explain it but he  _had_  to be a bit more in control when he was around her. She might have laughed at his courting before but she was more fragile now. Also, he did not want her to push him away. It was safer this way. On top of that, he was not  _that cocky_.

Kouga glanced at Hakkaku for a moment before meeting up with Kagome and the rest of the pack. As soon as he stepped into the kitchen, the loudness of his wolves hit him full force.

"Is it always like this?" she asked, amused.

"Most of the time."

They all had each other and it was enough. She envied them.

Suddenly a beer was shoved in her face and she backed away slightly. "Want one?" one of the many strangers offered.

Her face cringed a bit. She never drank alcohol before. It was not really something she was interested in.

Kouga reached out in front of her and took hold of the beer. "I'll take that." Making her comfortable was going to be more difficult than he originally planned.

"Can I try?"

He raised an eyebrow, wary. "I don't think…"

"If a  _grandpa_  like you can have a sip then I think I can handle it."

"Grandpa?"

"You  _are_  over five hundred years old."

He laughed. "Here you go."

Kouga tilted the beer her way and she pressed her lips to it. The moment the taste overtook her taste buds she pulled away with an expression of disgust.

"Told ya," he said with a smirk before bringing it to his own lips.

Despite the bad taste in her mouth, Kagome laughed. Brightly. For real.

Maybe there was hope.

-U-


	3. Time Together

Inviting her over was a great idea - when he thought nobody else would be home.

Instead, his pack was taking the word party to another level. Actually, it was rather common for them since this was their chance to be wild and free. They could enjoy fun and relaxation while letting even their disguises drop. He was used to it and frankly he did his share of partying as well, but he seriously doubted this was the kind of environment Kagome appreciated.

During the past two hours she moved around the different rooms, someone always stopping her. Most of the pack remembered her from the Feudal Era and many thanked her. Each time she blushed, always saying there was no need to thank her. He kept his eye on her but did not smother her. He noticed she seemed out of place but she never came to see him to ask if he could take her home. Then again, it was not in her nature to complain - she complied.

Guilt tugged at him and he downed the rest of his beer rapidly before standing up. He smoothly made his way towards her, teasingly nudging her shoulder with his by leaning down.

"Everyone is great," she said with a smile.

Kouga nodded. "A little wild, but we are wolves." He awkwardly rubbed his neck. "Look, if you wanna go home, I get it. I wasn't expecting anyone today."

She shook her head. "It's fine. Plus, it's giving my mom a chance to stop worrying about me." When he raised an eyebrow in confusion, she explained. "I don't go out much and she thinks - well with everything that happened…"

"All things considered, you're doing pretty good holding it together."

"I am better," she argued. "But it feels like I don't know how to adjust back to the modern world. Losing everyone at the same time didn't help."

He shrugged. "So ya don't wanna do what other people your age do - wait, how old are ya again?"

"Eighteen."

"Eighteen, so you were - "

"Fifteen."

He winced. He could not believe she was that young when all that happened to her. He also remembered her looking clearly older than that - he never guessed that she went through it all when she was barely entering her teenage years.

"Shame on you," she teased.

"Hey, I was a cub back then." Reckless, full of ambitions and with a huge ego. Then again, he was the fastest.

"You might have been young but you took really good care of them." Every time someone from the pack looked at Kouga, she saw the admiration in their eyes and the loyalty they had towards him. They were grateful for all of his sacrifices. She might not have always enjoyed his declarations of love but he was a good man - or wolf, rather.

"They're my family."

Softly, she raised her hand and squeezed his arm affectionately. She knew the feeling. She sacrificed herself many times for her family from the Feudal Era and she would do it over and over again if she had to.

Her touch was warm against his arm and he almost leaned in but caught himself in time. "Anytime you wanna go, just tell me, I'll drive you home."

Strangely, she really liked it here. This was the first time she felt like she fit. Being here with all of these youkais - and Kouga - reminded her of the past she left behind. She was surrounded by other people who probably felt like they did not quite belong into this world, although it was probably much worse for them.

"I'll be okay."

"Just -"

"Yo, Kouga!"

He groaned as he turned around. Someone was gesturing for him to come towards the kitchen. "I'll be right back," he said to Kagome before disappearing from her sight.

She watched him leave, clearly a bit annoyed and a smile formed on her lips.

"Here you go, sis!"

Kagome spun around just in the time to see Ginta handing her a bottle of water. "I thought you might be thirsty and ya didn't seem to like the beer," he said with a chuckle.

"Thank you," she replied before quickly uncapping the bottle and drinking a big gulp. It was pretty warm in the house and she had failed to notice just how thirsty she was.

"Do you like it here?" Hakkaku inquired, excited.

Having Kagome back was like a dream come true, especially for Kouga.

"It's nice, it's - it's like home - I mean, a home, it's a home. A nice one," she stuttered. The words slipped past her because she could stop herself. Here, she felt as free as them because everyone knew her past and exactly what she saw and lived through.

"You don't even know how happy Kouga is to have ya back!"

Ginta scoffed. "I think he really needed that."

She pinched her lips, dying to pry into his life but she was not sure if it was right. If he wanted to share his private life with her, he would. Then again, she never asked right?

"Has - has he been alone all this time?"

"Pretty much, I mean I think there's been a girl or two over the centuries. It was nothing though."

She arched an eyebrow. "He never took a mate?" When he declared her as his woman, he made sure to mention wolves mate for life but – well, in his tone she heard how important it was. He spoke with pride. Why would he choose to stay alone?

"He never found anyone."

"He didn't even know me and he claimed me as his woman! I can't believe there isn't one woman who could have made him happy."

"Oh, no. They were women who could have," began Ginta with a shrug. "He just wasn't interested in any of them."

"After you, after he gave you up, he just focused on other stuff and he didn't claim anyone else."

"Oh," she breathed out.

Somehow, she did not see Kouga as a solitary wolf. Maybe something happened that prevented him from getting with someone? They did mention a girl or two. If he paid attention to them, he must have liked them at the very least.

"What about you, sis? Are you seeing anyone?"

She nearly burst out laughing. "No," she said with a grin. "I -" She never saw anyone. She was not quite sure being two timed by Inuyasha counted. And before they had a chance to begin a real relationship she was sent to her world, locked there forever. "There hasn't been anyone."

Since Inuyasha. Those words lingered in all their minds but they were never spoken.

"I guess that leaves you free to -" Hakkaku was never given the chance to finish his sentence as Ginta hit him in the stomach with an awkward smile on his face.

"You know - study and not be distracted," Ginta finished.

Slightly puzzled by their strange attitude, she lifted her eyebrows and her eyes widened a bit. "I- I guess."

Unfortunately for her, their conversation was brought to a halt when someone bumped into her. It would not have been that bad if it was not for their warm beer spilling all over her shirt. She gasped immediately and backed away from the man.

"S-sorry!"

She blinked, the liquid soaking through not only her shirt but her bra as well.

"Sis, are you alright?" Hakkaku and Ginta asked in unison as they rushed to her side.

They glared at the wolf who bumped into her, both of them thinking he was lucky Kouga was not around. They were there when he gave up on Kagome, saying it was a crush and he was over it. However, there were also there when he said he found her again - the look in his eyes was unmistakable. He still loved her.

"I'm fine," she said sheepishly. This kind of thing always happened to her.

"Why don't you go to the bathroom - the one upstairs? I'm sure we got something that'll fit ya." They had some girls living at the house from time to time too. Perhaps one of them left something behind.

"Thanks."

They guided her to the stairs and then pointed. "Third door on your left."

She nodded and hopped the stairs as fast as possible. She did not have a wolf's sense of smell but even she could tell she reeked of beer and she found it disgusting. She counted the doors and stopped in front of the third one. Fancy door for a bathroom, she noticed. Once she entered, she realized why; it was not a bathroom but rather a bedroom. She timidly walked in and closed the door behind her. Really, she should not be in here but this was not her home and she would feel bad if she started opening all the doors until she found the bathroom.

To top it all up, this room did not appear to be occupied; it was too clean to be.

She dragged her feet until she reached the bed and plopped down on it. She pulled her shirt away from her body, holding the fabric with her index and thumb. Ginta and Hakkaku would probably find her even if she was in the wrong room so she decided to patiently wait.

Kagome kicked her feet along the edge of the bed as she laid down completely. Her arms were spread out by her side and her eyes were closed. Life here must be hectic but she imagined they were never bored - or lonely. They welcomed her like she was one of their own. Five hundred years ago she technically was. She chuckled.

"Something funny?"

She jolted in surprise, sitting right up almost immediately. Once her heartbeat finally slowed down, she squinted. "Kouga?"

He was not surprised that she had not heard him. He opened the door as quietly as he could. He had been waiting, leaning against the doorway, thinking she would feel his presence soon. He was wrong. When she laughed, he was unable to remain silent any longer.

"Didn't mean to scare ya," he said as he walked into the room. "The guys told me what happened." He needed to have a talk with someone. He did not appreciate her getting bumped into. This was her first time in his new home and he did not want her to stay away because of an incident.

"It's no big deal," she said as she pulled on her shirt. "Though beer smells really gross."

"Yeah," he spoke while rubbing his neck. "We checked but there's no shirt. I can lend you one of mine if you'd like. I mean, we could wash yours or something."

"Mm- sure." She did not really want to stay in that wet shirt.

She expected him to leave the room to get the shirt but instead, he headed straight for the dresser. She groaned, of course. "This is your room?"

"You sound surprised," he said as he roamed through his clothes.

"No - I just, it's mm, clean. I thought nobody was using it."

He arched an eyebrow. "My bedroom can't be clean?"

"No, no, I - ugh!"

Kouga burst out laughing. "I'm kidding. I wouldn't expect it either."

He grabbed a black shirt and closed the drawer and joined her on the bed. "I'm pretty sure that's the smallest shirt I've got."

"Thanks."

As he got closer to her he did not fail to notice the scents that covered her. She might only smell the beer but he did not. Another male's scent. Obviously she was covered in them but the one from the male who bumped into her was the strongest and he did not like it. Ginta and Hakkaku hugged her and he could barely smell it. He sniffed and almost growled.

"Kouga?"

Her voice snapped him out of it and he pulled his gaze away. "I'll wait outside."

She watched him as he left, confused. Did she do something? When he closed - almost slammed - the door behind him, the feeling increased. Unsettled, she quickly removed her shirt and put on his. As she crumpled her shirt in a ball in her hands, a new scent took over. One that was much better than the beer. It smelled - like a man.

"I'm done," she quietly spoke, knowing he would hear her nonetheless.

Kouga slipped back into the room, this time not leaving the door open. He reached out and grabbed her shirt from her. "They get a little wild," he said, amusement no longer laced in his tone.

"It's fine, I was in the way."

"I'm not mad at you."

"Oh, I know." No, she did not.

"They get rough - and you're human and I don't want them to forget it." Lies, lies.

"I'm not that fragile," she said almost insulted.

"I know, but you haven't seen how youkais play."

As he spoke, she felt a tingle travel through her. Was it her or his voice was a little lower and huskier than usual? She swallowed and ran her tongue over her lips. No, she imagined it.

When she fell silent, he felt edginess surround them. "You can go back down if ya want."

She shrugged. It was a little weird going downstairs with a shirt that was big enough to be a dress for her. Plus, she did not mind it upstairs. She barely saw Kouga since she arrived at his house; he was quite the busy wolf.

"It's quiet up here." He smiled. "Don't get me wrong, I love all of 'em, but sometimes I feel like I'll go crazy if I don't get away from all the noise." There was a reason why he did not travel with a big pack when he roamed the lands back in the past.

"Sometimes, I feel like I'll go crazy if I stay by myself."

She had never told anyone but it felt so natural to share with him just like he had with her. "I mean, I have my family. I love them but they worry so much and - I feel like I can't tell them everything. Especially all the near death experiences." They would know she was safe now but she did not want them dwelling on the past like she was.

Since they were sharing she wondered if it was appropriate to ask the question burning her lips. "Th- they told me, after I asked, that you never found anyone. Why not?"

He closed his eyes. He was going to kill them. "There was nobody."

"Why not? Aren't you lonely? I mean - you're the leader or the pack… the prince. Aren't you supposed to have babies... pups… cubs or something?"

This time, he chortled loudly. "Cubs." He pushed his arms backwards, his palms pressed against the bed, and he leaned backwards. "All the wolves down there? That's pretty much all that's left of all the packs. We kinda merged over the years. It's not like popping out children is common anymore. Some don't think it's fair to bring new cubs into the world just to make them hide themselves their whole life. It ain't like we're gonna be on top ever again. At least not for a while."

Her eyes saddened. "What about hanyous?"

"Not everybody likes mixing that much. Plus, then you gotta explain the whole 'I'm a youkai' thing. It's just a little complicated."

"What about you? How do you feel about the whole thing?"

"I want cubs," he almost immediately answered. Maybe it was selfish from some of their points of views but he could not care less. Before the world changed, he wanted a family and he still did. He would always make sure to provide a safe haven like this one for his children where they could be themselves. There was no reason why co-existence could not work.

"Full blooded cubs?"

"I once proclaimed you my woman. I guess you could say I don't care."

Before her, he did. Heck, before her he treated humans like they were food which meant he never actually thought he would have hanyous. Then Kagome came along and he did not really care. She was perfect in every way and he decided whatever cubs she gave him, they would be too.

"Well, you did need a jewel detector. I didn't think you ever thought that far."

He frowned. "A jewel detector?"

She tilted her head to look at him. "When you decided I was gonna be yours, it was so I could find shards for you guys."

"At first. But it wasn't just that. I thought you'd make a good mate. I didn't just pick you because you could see jewel shards. I certainly didn't keep coming back after you because of that. I meant everything I ever said about you."

Kouga declaring his love on top of a mountain. How could she forget? "You know, I was touched - I mean, when you said you loved me. You had just kidnapped me and threw me in a battle and I didn't even know you but, you made me feel like swooning a little."

"Good to know not everything I did was in vain."

"I did appreciate your friendship and all the times you saved my life."

"I'll take what I can get."

He stared into her eyes, her smile captivating him. He wanted to see her happy and he wanted to be the reason why she was smiling. He would not let her be depressed and sad again. Above all else, she was a friend and he wanted to help her. She did not deserve to wallow in unhappiness.

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened with a loud slam. "O-h sorry. I - hm, I found a shirt for ya, Sis," Hakkaku said bashfully.

He winced, never daring to peek at Kouga; he assumed his leader was glaring at him. He did not think they would be laying together on the bed or nothing! It was not like he was trying to interrupt them.

"Thanks!" Kagome said as she got up to get the shirt.

Kouga followed her lead, his disappointment hard to hide. "I'll be downstairs."

She nodded and closed the door behind them. The conversation with Kouga made her feel happy and strange at the same time. How many nights, how many days did she spend by Inuyasha side? Countless. Yet, she never remembered them having a lot of profound two-way conversation. She did comfort him a few times but he never really returned the favor. She knew it was because he was not used to opening up himself and being vulnerable; she did not blame him.

Nonetheless, it was nice to talk to Kouga like that. Especially since he was the last person she ever expected to be able to do that with.

He was full of surprises.

-U-

The rest of the night went by smoothly and Kouga returned her to her home a little before dinner. Nobody asked her any questions and the meal was surprisingly silent though, she was grateful. It almost felt like she did not unnecessarily burden them with her troubles. Once she was done eating, she took a long warm shower. Instead of standing in it, she sat and wrapped her arms around her knees, letting the hot water drown her into her own thoughts.

Today, she barely thought of him.

It was the first time in a long time. At the beginning, Kouga's return into her life only made her think about him more often and intensively. However, once she found herself busy with them today, chatting and laughing, he was pushed into the back of her mind. Now, she wondered if she should feel guilty. Despite the fights, despite the two-timing, Inuyasha was good to her.

He did care for her in his own way but he loved Kikyo more. She did come first; how could Kagome blame him? When Kikyo passed away for good, Kagome was sad for him. He lost the love of his life and somehow, she felt like he was stuck with her. If the well did not stop working, if she went back, they might have been together. She would have ben locked in her belief that she was his second choice, forever. How could she be his first when he never had to pick?

That never happened though.

He was gone and she was here.

She could spend hours telling herself all the reasons why her crush, actually her love, for Inuyasha was wrong for her. Their relationship was never the healthiest. More giving than receiving. Again, Inuyasha had a hard life and she would never hold it against him. She chose to give him everything knowing she would not get anything in return. And yet he did - he did give in the end. A touch, a rescue, a scream of despair when he thought he might have lost her.

If their path was different, it might have been better. Maybe she wanted to be the one for Inuyasha but she was not right for him.

He was her first crush, the first person she loved - she did not know how to forget him or how to move on from him even if he was gone from her life. She did not want to erase their memories but she did not want to dwell in it. Today, she felt alive and she sought that feeling again.

Once her body felt numb from the hot water, she decided she needed to get out. She turned off the water and grabbed the nearest towel, wrapping it around herself. She stepped out, her wet hair dripping on the floor. She dragged herself to her bedroom and collapsed on her bed. She actually was exhausted. She was rusty when it came to going out it seemed.

Her eyelids heavy, she closed them.

-U-

Toss. Toss. Toss. Toss.

"Fuck!"

How in the world was he supposed to sleep in his own goddamn bed when all he could smell was her fucking scent? She might have only sat on the edge but it was all over the fucking place. His temper was slipping and he found himself kicking his blankets away with his feet. A thin layer of sweat formed at the base of his neck, droplets sliding down his spine. He never really let anyone in here. He never locked the door because he did not have to; they knew it was his bedroom.

She did not. And she walked right in. Out of all the rooms. Really, what made her pick this one?

Another growl of frustration escaped him and he decided he had enough. He flipped his body, his feet touching the ground. Kouga slumped forward, his elbows resting on his knees. His fingers tangled with his long, loose hair and he sighed. At least he could deal with a sleepless night; he did not need the rest.

He forced himself onto his feet and made his way downstairs to the living room. Yes, he had a television in his room but that would not let him escape her wretched scent. Though as he plopped down on the couch, he realized she had left a trace everywhere.

Usually another scent, especially one that was not wolf, was bothersome. Hers made the place feel like home.

He threw his head backward while his hand fumbled around the couch until he found the remote. He switched the TV on, the light brightening the whole room.

"Can't sleep?"

"It smells like her," he admitted a bit embarrassed. He could have kept that information to himself but he did not want to.

"It's our fault," Ginta said as he joined him on the couch.

"What is?"

"We sent her to your room. Told her it was the bathroom."

Kouga turned his head and glared. "You did what?"

"Didn't even think you'd show up really. Just thought you'd have her scent in your room."

"Why?"

"Cause ya missed, Sis alright! We're just as much wolf as ya are. Don't think we can't smell it. You're happy around her. Hell, you haven't really been with a woman or found a woman since Kagome."

"I haven't been with a woman since I proposed to her."

"Oh."

"Oh what?"

"Well, I thought, that girl back a few centuries ago… I might have told Kagome you had someone but it was nothing."

"You did what?"

It did not really change anything. She knew he gave up on her, she even expected him to move on. Yet, it bothered him that she thought he found someone else, regardless if it was brief or not.

"Look - I just - I thought… she hasn't been with anyone. Not even Inuyasha you know."

"I know. I smelled it."

Kagome was completely virginal. Her innocence emitted from her every pore. Part of him was pleased Inuyasha never got her; he did not even deserve her anyway.

"I mean, she hasn't even dated."

It did not surprise him; she was still hung on the mutt.

"She can date who she wants."

"Wouldn't you rather she dates you?"

He sighed, his frustration peaking. "I ain't gonna be that guy anymore, alright. I already spent almost a year bothering her and forcing my unwanted presence on her. I ain't gonna do that again."

"I don't know, Sis doesn't act like before. She didn't seem weird or nothing around you."

Because he was a friend whom she trusted; she made that point very clear a couple of times. He did not mind being her friend - he wanted to be. What he did not wish for was for his infatuation with her to return.

"You never really forgot about Sis, did ya?"

The more shocked Kagome seemed that Kouga spent five hundred years alone, the stronger Ginta found it. Their leader was powerful and charming; he could get any lady. Why did he not try?

"Ya only did it because you wanted her to stop worrying about hurting your feelings."

No.

He did it because he knew she would never love him back. He might be stubborn but he was not stupid. She only had eyes for Inuyasha. Even now, even if he was dead, there would still be competition.

"I'm not going after her."

Ginta nodded. Fine, Kouga would not try to court Kagome. It did not mean he and Hakkaku would stop trying to get them together. Hell, he was sure if he asked the rest of the pack, they would help. They all loved Kagome and accepted Kouga's choice five hundred years ago. Why wouldn't they now?

"What if she goes after you?"

"She won't."

He was not certain. Kagome was different. Maybe she would not go for Kouga but he did not think all hope was lost.

-U-

Kagome's feet felt heavy as she exited her bedroom. Morning came too rapidly and on top of that, she stupidly let herself fall asleep with her hair wet and nothing more than a towel wrapped around her body. Not smart. Now, she felt like she was about to get sick. Despite all of that she managed to do a decent ponytail out of her tangled hair and she slipped on shorts and a t-shirt.

The sweet scent of food filled her nostrils as she rapidly ran down the stairs. "Morning," she chirped as she landed in the kitchen.

"Morning," her mother greeted.

"Morning," two other voices added.

Kagome froze, eyes wide open. "Ginta? Hakkaku?" But no Kouga.

"Hey Sis! Your mom told us you were sleeping and then she offered us breakfast!"

They were happily digging in their plates, absolutely certain they made the right choice by coming over. Delicious home cooked food was always a plus, especially since they did not get that very often.

"W-what are you guys doing here?" she asked, baffled. It was not that their presence made her unhappy but she did not remember making plans for today.

"Oh - well, we were about to go see Kouga at his work. We're gonna help him out. The faster we do the work, the more money we get."

"We thought you might wanna come. Have lunch. Kouga hasn't eaten yet." They were not supposed to either but they could not resist Miyu's cooking. Also, if only Kouga and Kagome ate, they would get some alone time. It was not the best plan but when Kouga announced he was going to be working all day, it was all they could come up with. Everybody liked to eat right?

"You know, that's a great idea," her mother chipped in. "I could wrap some of this and you could bring it to him!"

"Mm, sure."

Part of her felt like she was imposing. He was at work; that was no time for her to bother him.

"He won't mind," Hakkaku said, sniffing out her emotions.

"That's cheating," she said with a smile.

"Come on, Sis. We just found you again! We just all wanna spend some time with you."

It was nice to be needed and wanted. She did enjoy herself yesterday. What would be the harm in having lunch? Really, what were her plans for the rest of the day? Stay inside and help her mom. It was not exactly thrilling. Plus, it would be interesting to see what youkais did to earn their life. She wondered if they cheated.

"I'll pack the lunches," she said giving in. "Do you guys want more?"

"No, we're good." At that moment, they prayed their stomachs would not betray them - and they did not. They needed the two of them alone, or as alone as a construction site would allow them to be.

As Kagome and her mother packed two lunches - because she was starving - she found herself wishing she did not look like she was knocked over by a tornado. It was not like she wanted to pretty herself up but she looked like a mess.

Moments ticked away until finally, they clipped the lunch boxes closed. "Enjoy!" Miyu said as she handed both to Kagome. "You kids have fun."

"Thank you for the food Mrs. Higurashi."

"You're welcome."

Kagome led the way and Ginta and Hakkaku followed behind her. The same car as yesterday was parked at the end of the stairs and she assumed they simply all shared it. She slipped in the back while the boy went in the front. She realized she forgot to ask just what exactly Kouga's job was all about but she figured she was about to find out.

They only drove for fifteen minutes before they parked the car. She got out, the lunch boxes held tightly against her chest with one hand and she glanced around. Akumi construction, said a big sign. Construction? She supposed he was very strong - they all were. It probably made the job much easier for all of them.

"Yo, Kouga. We got lunch."

Her gaze followed them and a bit further until her eyes landed on him. He was bent over, his chest completely bare. Before rising up, he sniffed. His expression changed but she could not quite make it out. He looked at her over his shoulder and he seemed surprised.

"Oh yeah, we picked up Kagome. Her mom made the lunches."

They could not be any more obvious even if they tried. Good thing Kagome could not hear them. Although he doubted she would figure out what they were trying to do.

He sighed before walking towards her, a smile now on his face. He did not want her to think he was upset with her. Actually, he was rather happy to see her, especially with food.

"Hey," she said timidly. "The guys picked me - I - I hope it's okay."

"Yeah they don't care here. Plus, I'm just working for the day. Extra money since we're so many at the house right now." The reason why they came to him was so he could look after them. Money could do that.

"For you," she said handing him one of the boxes.

"You made this?" He knew she did not but he asked nonetheless.

"No, so it's safe."

"Hey, I'd love to eat your cooking," he said, offended.

"You wouldn't."

"I dare you to cook for me."

"Fine, I will."

"Good."

He childishly stuck his tongue out at her before ruffling his hand in her hair, messing up her ponytail. He turned his back on her and headed for the closest table. He did not fail to notice Ginta and Hakkaku were nowhere to be seen but that did not shock him.

Kagome followed behind him, her eyes locked on his back. He might have been a bit scrawny back then but he no longer was. Many muscles bulged through his sturdy back and she held her breath for a moment. Once she realized what she was doing, she looked away blushing.

She did not just stare.

And then, the scent in the air shifted and Kouga smirked.

Hey, he would take all that he could get.

-U-


	4. Beneath the Stars

Days went by and Kagome did not hear from Kouga or the others. No more surprise visits or anything. The first day after having lunch with him, she actually woke up early. She was kind of hoping to  _not_  be in her pyjamas again during one of their visits. But, nobody came. After the third day, she got back into her previous routine; getting up, hanging around in her pyjamas during the early morning and then helping her family with the shrine. It eventually dawned on her that she did not even have his phone number. She could not call him even if she wanted.

His missing presence was strange.  _He_  came to the shrine,  _he_  invited her to his house and then, nothing. It was like he vanished, like he never was.

Then again, she could not forget that everyone was not like her; some people actually had a life. She had no plans for the future, nothing she was working towards since her teenage years pretty much screwed it up for her. She  _was_  grateful and happy for all the good she was able to do but - well, it would have been preferable to stay in the Feudal Era. She could no longer have a proper life here and she was not sure how to start putting the pieces back together.

She tucked herself into the couch even more, a red blanket covering her legs. She stuffed her hand into her bag of chips, mindlessly looking at the television. Her brother was going to be home soon and he would steal the TV to play some of his video games. She was trying to catch up on her shows as much as she could meanwhile.

Unfortunately for her, a loud knock on the front door pulled her out of her concentration.

"Kagome could you get that? It's the men dropping off the wood for the new roof. Can you ask them how much it costs?"

"Sure."

She kicked the blanket off of her body and rushed towards the door. Kagome almost tripped as she opened the door, her head leaning forward. "How- how much is it?" she asked as she tried to get her balance back.

"Depends on what you want," a confident voice inquired.

Her eyes bulged out as she recognized it. "K-kouga?"

He flashed a cocky smirk at her and leaned forward to ruffle her hair. "Sorry, I thought it'd be okay if I just kinda showed up."

"Oh, mm it's fine."

For a moment, she forgot the way her hair was tangled in a messed up bun or the overly large blue sweater than hung off her shoulders.

"Were you expecting someone?" he asked before peeking around.

"It's the - thee guys who are delivering the wood."

"What for?"

"The roof."

He stepped away and lifted his head to look at her roof. He frowned, clearly displeased. "Yeah, it looks like it's about to cave in over there." He grabbed his chin with his index and thumb. "Who's gonna fix it?"

"Us. We can't really -" She blushed a bit. "Afford it."

"I'll do it."

"What?"

"I'll do it," he repeated with a shrug of his shoulders. "I do this kind of stuff all the time."

"I cou-"

But he did not let her finish. "It's fine."

He let himself in and closed the door behind him. "Is there anything else you need done around here?" He forgot; it was only Kagome, her mother, her brother and grandpa. One day her brother could probably fix up the place but he was too young right now.

"Kouga, really, you don't have to do this. It's fine."

"Kagome, you might not be my woman but you are pack anyway. We take care of our owns."

He was not going to let her live in a house where things could fall apart. He had money, he always did. He meant it when he said he was working to help everyone in the pack and in his eyes that included her. Plus, she sacrificed a lot to help in the past and she never demanded anything in return. He believed it was time that somebody returned the favor and helped her. He was going to be that somebody.

"Kagome, did they sa-" Kagome's mother stopped mid sentence when she noticed Kouga and then smiled at him. "Oh Kouga! I didn't know you and Kagome were heading out together today."

"Oh we aren't, here's here to-"  _Wait_. What was he here for?

"I'm going to fix up the shrine with the guys," he said, flashing a grin.

"Oh?"

"But I told him, it was fine and we had it all taken care of," Kagome added.

"Your daughter has helped us a lot. It's the least we can do. And to thank you for the fantastic lunch the other day."

"That is very kind of you, are you sure? I wouldn't feel right ab-"

"Please. We really want to do this."

" _Thank you_ ," Miyu said, her eyes glimmering with what seemed like tears. "We were going to have lunch soon, you should join us."

"Thank you Mrs. Higurashi," he said with a head tilt.

Kagome watched her mother leave, guilt swirling inside of her. She did not want Kouga to feel like he had to take care of her because he did not have to do that. She always took care of herself and so did her family. Though, she would be lying if she said this did not help. Her family did not have much money and the shrine  _was_  falling apart.

"You really didn't have to, but thank you."

He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. "Anytime."

Kouga  _missed_  her which probably made him linger his hand on her shoulder a bit longer than he intended. He did not mean to disappear for a few days but he was busy; he was the only leader the wolves had left. He also matured and he could not just run off for weeks at a time. His loyalty was to his people and when he had to take care of them, he did. Now they had their annual little gathering coming up and it required a lot of preparations. He thought about asking Kagome to join them but he was not sure she would say or enjoy it.

Kagome led him in the living room in complete silence.

He joined her on the couch, his arm resting on top of it, almost around her shoulder.

"So why'd you come over?" she finally asked.

He noticed a hint of…anger? He did not say anything but he smirked. "I thought I'd check up on you. I've been busy lately."

"You didn't have to, I'm fine."

"I'm also leaving for the weekend."

"Oh?" She did not mean to sound interested but she was. Why did he bother to come here and tell her that?

"It's a wolf thing. We go sorta camping. Away from the city and the smells." The whole pack went. It was a chance for them to unleash their inner beasts and roam free without worries. They usually picked a very secluded area, making sure no humans were around. After all, they might mistake them for regular wolf and try to kill them.

"Oh, I didn't know you did that. I guess it makes sense." She saw what happened to Kouga when he was in his wolf form in the city. "You do that all the time?"

"At least once a year. More if we can." Trying to blend in with humans was a full time job and it did not leave them much time to be  _themselves_.

Now that he shared that information with her, he felt uneasy not inviting her. She was always welcome but… he did not want her to come just not to offend him, especially since he was certain she would not like. She never looked comfortable in his den back in the Feudal Era.

"You -hm, you can come. If you want. I mean, I didn't think you would. It's gonna be  _wolf_ , very wolf," he rambled a bit nervous.

"I don't wanna impose," she quickly replied.

He frowned, displeased. "Hey, you never impose alright? The guys would love it if you came, so would I. I just didn't want ya feeling like you gotta come."

"You still have your sleeping bag," a voice behind them said.

Kagome almost jumped, eyes widened. "Mom?"

"I kept it, it's all in the closet."

Her sleeping bag. The one she used in the Feudal era, the one she had not seen ever since her return. She remembered leaving her yellow bag and not touching it. Her mom eventually put it away and it was never spoken of again. Instead, she got a new school bag to finish her last year of school.

"We have plenty of tents." So she  _did_  want to go? Now he felt like an idiot.

Kagome felt uncomfortable under both their gazes. "It sounds like fun. Why not?" It felt forced and she did not know why. When he first spoke of it she thought it sounded quite fun. She missed sleeping beneath the stars, watching them glow in the darkness. Granted back then she would have done anything for a comfortable bed but it was different now. She wanted it all back.

"Great, we'll leave tomorrow and then," he turned to look at her mother, "we'll start the work here on Monday."

Kagome smiled, nervous. Her guts were twisted and she was nauseous. The part turning her insides upside down was the sleeping bag. She was certain that if she unrolled it, Inuyasha's scent would still be on it and then, she had no idea how she would sleep. She did not need the extra memories of what her life used to be like. Though maybe it would help - when she went to his house she felt like she was back in the Feudal Era but it made her feel better not worse.

Kouga seemed to have adjusted well into his new life.

Perhaps she could do the same.

-U-

His lips were pinched tightly and he was attempting not to burst out laughing. Kagome stood in front of him, in beige capri pants and a yellow t-shirt, her hair in a ponytail. At her feet was the biggest, most stretched, bag he ever saw in his life. There was no doubt she shoved everything she owed in it and then fought to close it. The lack of oxygen was leaving a red hue on his face and he was certain he was going to choke if he did not laugh.

"I need all this stuff," she defended. Her hands were on her hips, a slight anger on her face. "I always carried that much back then."

He let a few chuckle slip and nodded. "Good thing we got a car to ourselves," was all he said as he picked up her bag from the ground and swung it over his shoulder.

"We do?"

It was not his decision - not that he minded it. Ginta and Hakkaku  _apparently_  took it upon themselves to organize the cars and they claimed this was just the only way it would work. Everyone had minimal baggages but a full car except them. They were going to have most of the supplies and whatnot and only be two. He  _knew_  they did it to leave him alone with Kagome but he did not fight the decision. He had yet to really have time alone with her and it would be pleasing.

He was about to turn around and head for the car when he noticed something else behind her. "Is that your sleeping bag?"

"Oh, I got it."

Her heartbeat increased and she slightly bent down to grab it. Unfortunately for her, Kouga heard her pummelling heartbeat along with the scent of nervousness all over her. He furrowed his eyebrows and took it from her. The moment it was near his body, he smelled it; Inuyasha.  _Oh_. That was why she did not want to bring it. Now that he was thinking about it, he did see her in a sleeping bag once or twice in the Feudal Era.  _Shit_.

"Ya know, this looks pretty old. We got a lot of back up ones if ya don't think this one's gonna hold up."

"Are you sure?"  _Yes. Yes. Yes._  She was never in a rush to accept a favor but this one she was.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." He opened the door of her house and put it against the wall before closing the door again. "Come on, let's go."

If he was going to have Kagome with him for the weekend, the last thing he wanted was Inuyasha's scent all over the goddamn place and Kagome being depressed. He was going to make sure she was happy and had fun. Or at least as much fun a human could have while surrounded by wild wolves.

She joined him in the car feeling like a weight was lifted off of her shoulders. She sat in the passenger seat while he loaded her stuff in the back. When he got into the car, he turned on the radio. "You can put whatever on."

It might be a bad idea but he was certain whatever she chose he would be able to handle it. Hopefully.

When Yuna Ito's songs came on, he knew he was doomed and he winced. It did not go unnoticed by Kagome who began to look very apologetic. "Sorry, I'll find something else."

"Nah, it's fine."

She barely held back a laugh as she nodded. "So - what do you guys do during this camping trip?"

"Shift into our natural forms, hunt, you know stuff like that."

"Oh sounds like mrm, fun?"

"Sorry, it's not really 'human' stuff. But I mean, I promise you won't be bored." Oh yeah, this was sort of the other reason why he did not think she would like to come. What could that she would not find disgusting or extremely boring? Somehow, he did not think she would enjoy the 'catch a live rabbit with your mouth' game.

"It'll be like being back," she let slip out.

"That's why we do it."

She understood more than any human ever would. He just wished it did not make her so sad. Her sadness filled the car and it was suffocating him. She should look back on her experiences and realize all that she gained not all that she lost. It was hard for them too but they eventually adjusted. Although, maybe it was only difficult for her to move on because she lost Inuyasha - but he would not think about that. No mutt face this weekend, hence why he got rid of her sleeping bag.

"It was hard when we kinda lost everything," he shared. "We just had to come with ways to ya know stay ourselves while learning to live amongst you guys. It wasn't easy."

"Som- sometimes I don't know. I want to go see my friends and be a student again - one who fails science and sucks at geometry. Then, I remember. And I don't know if anyone is - was okay. I never got to say goodbye." She just vanished from their lives. "It was my home."

Without thinking, he reached out for her hand and squeezed it. "It was mine too."

She did not flinch, she did not pull away. All she did was give a squeeze back and he happily kept his hand there as he kept on driving with one hand.

-U-

When he said  _camping_ , he meant  _camping_.

She forgot how long they drove before she almost drifted into dreamland. The occasional bumps brought her back from her rest a few times but she was still groggy for most of the ride. When they finally arrived, everyone unpacked fairly quickly and she was no match for their wolf speed and spent most her time standing around looking quite foolish. Once it was completed, she noticed they had quite the set up. They had all the tents on one side, though many sleeping bags were laid outside of them - probably for people to sleep  _outside_  -, the food was one another and they already had a campfire going.

It was not too long after all was taken care of that most of the pack turned into wolves and began running around, happily howling even though it was early. Kagome had a smile on her face as she sat down by the campfire and picked up a twig to play it. As she was digging tracing circles in the ground with it, she heard footsteps. Kouga's familiar sneakers came into view and he bent down.

"Sorry, they're a little excited."

"You should go to," she quickly offered. "That's why you're here."

He shrugged. "I'm alright."

"Kouga, I'll be fine," she reprimanded. "I'll feel bad if you stay here keeping me company instead of having fun."

"Who says I'm not having fun?" he asked with a smirk.

She inclined her head to the left, mouth twisted into a pout. "There is about thirty wolves here. I think I'll be safe," she said, dropping her stick. "Plus, I've never seen you transform in your wolf form."

"Who said I was gonna transform in front of you."

Her pout increased. "Not fair."

All she ever saw was his wolves and to be fair she thought for a long time that they were  _actual_  wolves not youkai. Perhaps it was Sesshomaru's overly large dog form that made her think all youkai's true forms were gigantic. Frankly, she preferred a smaller version. Kouga was adorable as a wolf though she was curious as of how  _he_ changed.

"We'll see," he said before disappearing in a blur.

She barely had time to catch a glimpse of the transformation that he was already a wolf, running through the forest. She shook her head, amused. This was exactly what she was looking for; a good time where she did not have to pretend everything was fine and like she did not time traveled.

Hours went by and all the wolves ran around the campsite and the forest. Each time one poked its head near her, she assumed they were checking up on her, most likely ordered by Kouga. She could not really tell who was who except for Kouga. Whenever she caught sight of blue, she knew it was him and she would smile. By the time darkness fell most of them were laying around the campfire, still in the wolf form. Kouga however, was in his tent getting changed.

When he pulled the tent open he was forced to stop and watch the scene unfolding in front of his eyes. Kagome was gently petting Ginta's head - though she probably did not know it was him, giggling every time he licked her palm. He  _had_  to hold back a growl there. He had no more claim on her and she was not his. Anybody could lick her - or alright, maybe he should not think about someone licking Kagome… Anybody could be around her and do what they wanted. Yeah that was better wording. Sort of.  _Ugh_.

Still, it seemed a slight rumble escaped him nonetheless since Ginta stiffened and backed away from Kagome.

"Back to yourself?" she asked as she turned her head over her shoulder.

"More comfortable."

"Really?" You would think being a wolf in the middle of forest would be most comfortable.

He shrugged. He just wanted to be near her and talk to her - plus she looked lonely. He did promise he would keep her happy this weekend.

"I didn't even get to pet you."

Oh, he knew she meant it very innocently. He did like the sound of it though. Why did he not think about it? Once he transformed it was like he went on a running rampage. Last time he let himself transformed he got trapped and she rescued him. Though it was a great memory and a fortunate turn of events, he was planning on getting caught in another trap. This was his chance to be himself.

"We do have a whole weekend."

He sat down beside her, crossing his legs. Meanwhile, she was back to mindlessly running her fingers through Ginta's pelt. It was  _so_  soft. She wondered if Kouga's was so soft. She could not really remember since she was more worried about his wound when she saw him.

"I can't believe I stopped to help you," she finally blurted out.

Kouga chuckled. "Yeah, until I realized it was you, I thought, who is this crazy girl stopping for a wolf."

"Crazy?"

" _Before_ I realized it was you. Humans are weird; they don't help. You do." He leaned forward, his long ponytail swaying. "You're kind and loyal."

He looked at her with such intensity in his eyes that she felt a blush rise up on her cheeks. "You're the one inviting me and fixing up the shrine."

"You're gonna have to get over that," he said, pulling away. "Marshmallows?" he offered while dangling the bag in front of her face.

She arched an eyebrow. Not very  _wild wolf_ trip.

"It  _is_ a camping trip," he said as he ripped the bag open and popped a marshmallow in his mouth.

How was she supposed to say no  _now_? She took two, eating one right away before putting the other one at the end of stick and holding it above the fire. He crunched his nose; he did not like the smell of burnt food. He did however enjoy watching her shoving the melted thing in her mouth and then licking her fingers clean.

" _Ugh,_ sticky," she complained, as she tried to get the remaining of the white substance on her digits.

His eyes widened slightly more than he wanted but he quickly caught himself. He did not care what Ginta said the other night or the fact that he dragged Kagome to the construction site right after that. She was looking for a friend, not a mate - or boyfriend - and he would be that for her. He already knew how she felt about him in the past and he doubted a few days without him changed that. All he wanted was to have her in his life.

"Are they gonna sleep in their wolf form? Aren't they gonna change?"

"They could, if you want to be surrounded by naked people."

"Na-naked?  _Oh_."

He was certain she could not get any redder even if she tried.

"I didn't think - I mean it makes sense." Nonetheless, she found herself  _not_  petting the wolf beside her anymore. She sort of forgot that under the whole nice, soft fur thing they also were sort of human. And it was weird.

He chortled at her reaction, his heart light with joy. She avoided looking at him, embarrassed and he enjoyed it. Once the laughter died down he pointed a tent to her. "That one is yours. I already put your bag and a sleeping bag in there."

"Thank you."

Two nights here, out with all of them. She was glad her mother cornered her into going. She would have regretted it. Plus, she was really learning to enjoy the company of the wolves. The only time she was in Kouga's den she did not really have time to make a lot of friends; she was mostly concerned with not getting eaten and how to escape. Thinking back about the memory, she laughed.

"Did the slap actually hurt you?"

He appeared baffled for a moment but then he understood what she was talking about. "Not really. I was mostly shocked that you slapped me."

"You chauvinistically claimed me."

"I did what wolves do."

" _Why_?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you do that? You just say, I claim you and someone is supposed to be yours?"

He tittered before beginning to rub his neck. "Not exactly. I mean, usually we court the female for a while. Then, she says yes or no - and you sort of take it from there, you know."

"What does courting involve?"

Now, it was going to be his turn to be red-faced. "Kinda like what I did to you. Bring you flowers. Give you attentions, fight for you. Usually you'd bring a fresh kill, give food, hospitality, _nuzzle_ , ya know, small touches."

He did grab her hands an awful lot back then she recalled. "So you were courting me back then?"

He nodded. "And you never gave me an answer by the way. Slaps don't count. So you kinda left me hanging."

"You did give up," she pointed out.

"What else was I gonna do? You were in love with mutt face." The words slipped before he realized he spoke them. Then, he regretted it and it was too late to take them back.

Her expression formed into one of pain for a brief moment but she quickly hid it behind a smile. "I guess I never did give you an answer."

Kouga pinched his lips, feeling like an idiot. "I'm sorry Kagome, I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine. I mean, it's been two years already. And I'm sure Inuyasha found someone who made him happy." Saying his name out loud crushed her heart. "Everybody moved on." Except her.

"You're allowed to do the same, ya know." He cleared his throat. "Find someone I mean. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard for you."

"I don't - I mean, I'm not in a rush. I'm not very good at the whole dating thing." Mostly because the only person that she ever tried to date was Inuyasha and boy was that a complicated relationship.

"I don't know," he said teasingly, "I saw you rubs a lot of bellies today. I'd say you're pretty good at it."

She closed her eyes, wishing the ground would swallow her whole. "Please, do not ever tell who was who."

"That's Ginta beside you."

Kagome hurried to cover her face with her hands. "I'm not going to be able to look at him again."

As he watched her blush, he felt the tension ease a bit. He was afraid she would swallow in sadness for the rest of the weekend after his little slip up but it seemed there was hope - as long as he kept her distracted.

-U-

Night fell and some people slowly went into their tents while others kept running around, dead set on enjoying every moments of the trip. Kagome was sleeping while Kouga, Ginta and Hakkaku were sitting around the campfire with other wolves. Kouga was staring into the fire, completely quiet. Peacefulness and the smell of wood; he loved it. He leaned backwards, using his arms to support him, as he inhaled deeply.

"Sis seems to be having fun."

"I think she is," he said after a moment.

It was hard to tell. Kagome was known to sacrifice her feelings for the sake of others and he could see her pretending to be having fun simply so he would not worry. Though, her scent did not mask any other emotions. Perhaps she did manage to stop thinking about Inuyasha for a while.

"The pack loves her."

"I know." He already had an idea where this conversation was going.

"I just don't see what the problem  _is_."

There was never going to be another human that would be as accepting as Kagome. Frankly, she was Kouga's  _only_  choice. If he wanted to mate a female from the pack, he would have during the past five hundred years. Clearly, none of them interested him. That left humans but - it was risky and complicated and he would have to lie. Kagome on the other hand knew the truth and she knew him when he was young and wild. She was even already a part of the pack.

"Maybe he just doesn't want her as his woman anymore."

"Don't you idiots realize it yet? She doesn't want  _me_. I am  _not_  doing that again and this is the last time I'm gonna say it."

He did not need the fact that Kagome was  _the perfect one_  thrown back in his face all the time. He already knew that. What they seemed to forget was that he was not a foolish cub anymore. He knew better and he was not going to put her in that position again especially when she needed a friend so badly. He was not going to pursue someone who did not want him.

Both Ginta and Hakkaku dropped the issue and fell silent. Hopefully Kouga would eventually see what they saw when Kagome was around. He did not have to pursue her intensively like he was before but a little nudge here and there would not be so bad. Especially if he was  _very_  subtle though that was not really in Kouga's personality. Even though he was a little less cocky and reckless around Kagome. Though neither thought she would mind if he was.

Suddenly the silence was broken and Kouga's ears twitched as he heard a lot of tossing coming from Kagome's tent. He frowned before rising to his feet and quickly heading there. He did not really want to invade her privacy but he sensed she was nervous. He  _had_  to make sure she was alright. He crouched down in front of it and quietly unzipped it. He poked his head inside only to see Kagome grumbling in her sleep and kicking her legs. What in the world was she dreaming about?

He went all the way inside and sat down beside her with her back facing him. After a few seconds the kicking stopped and he came to the conclusion she was probably having a bad dream. Who would not have one after everything she went through in the past. Kouga was about to leave when she spoke for the first time.

"Kouga," she whispered.

At first, he thought she was awake. However, when he turned to look at her face he saw that her eyes were still tightly shut. Her breathing was regulated and soft; yeah, she was still she - did she dream about him? Thought he was not sure he liked that considering she was kicking and seemed upset.

Nonetheless, he was tempted.

He leaned forward and cupped her exposed cheek with his hand, his thumb caressing her skin. She might have explained how she time traveled but he was still amazed every time he looked at her and noticed how she looked exactly the same. He was still young, with lots of time in front of him but he looked older. He no longer appeared to be a teenager but instead looked like a man in his mid-twenties.

What happened next took even him by surprise. She wrapped her fingers delicately around his wrist and pushed his hand down. He let her do it. She then rested her head on his palm, nuzzling against his skin. Her nose was soft, her lips were warm and he swallowed hard, never daring to move. She did not know but she was tickling his skin with her fingers as she lightly tapped them against his wrist.

"Kouga," she repeated.

She knew it was him. She did not think he was someone else.

Perhaps she did have a nightmare and with her miko powers she recognized his presence. Perhaps he made her feel safe and that made his heart swell with pride. Now he could truly be all the things she needed but he could not have her and he did not want to  _want_  her. He accepted that Kagome was out of his reach. He could spare himself another heartache. This was the best way to go was it not? Friends. He could be friends with her - he was even when he was in love with her.

And yet, there she laid. So innocent as she held his large hand with her two tiny ones. Her breath puffing against his palm, her silky hair tangling in his fingers. It forced him to sit down again but he quickly realized that was quite uncomfortable and instead, he laid by her side. He closed his eyes, listening to her steady heartbeat.

She might be wrapped up in her sleeping bag but she was close, so close. If he only stretched out his arm, he could cuddled her against his chest. But he did not.

He kept his eyes closed and enjoyed the moment, her sweet scent filling his nose.

 _What are you doing to me,_  he thought with a chuckle.

-U-


	5. Last Day

Warmth surrounded Kagome as she opened her eyes. At first, all she saw was grey. Right. The inside of her sleeping bag. Once her current location sunk in, she pulled down to reveal  _emptiness_. Of course she was alone… this was  _her_  tent. She pushed her bangs away with her palm before sitting up. She now realized what woke her up; the tent was hot and stuffy. She was probably cooking under the sun. And it also explained why she was covered in sweat.  _Ugh_. It was not like she could hide something like that from wolves and their noses - or eyes really.

She retrieved her elastic from around her wrist and tied her hair in a messy bun. At least that would help - maybe.

Kagome pulled down on her shirt and shyly came out of the tent. She was not sure what time it was or if anybody was up and decided to be as quiet as possible. However, she quickly realized it was futile when she saw a bunch of people - and wolves - already up and about.

"Mornin' Sis!"

Hakkaku ran towards her with a mug in his hand. "Coffee?"

She urgently took it and smiled. "Thank you."

Quickly, she scanned the area but before she could glance everywhere, Hakkaku stopped her. "Kouga and some of the others went to get some breakfast. Well - wolf breakfast. Nothing you'd like. We got stuff ya eat though. If ya hungry."

She shook her head, a faint tint of pink on her cheeks. She was not looking for Kouga. She was just checking to see who was awake. "I'm fine, thanks."

"How'd ya sleep?" He tried not to raise an eyebrow. Or smirk. Actually, he did not really know what happened. He knew Kouga went in her tent. And only came out three hours later. His scent was on her though it was clear  _nothing_  truly took place. She did not smell any different and they would have heard… _erm_  something.

Still… Kouga looked  _pretty_  happy this morning.

"Mm, good." She did have a nightmare though. But when did she not? Nightmares seemed to be the way she dealt with her stress and her sadness.

As she inhaled deeply, feeling the freshness of the air, she smiled happily. It was saddening to think the trip was nearly over. This reminded her of better time and it felt  _right_. Going back home would be a little bit like giving it all up again. She shook her head, chasing the thoughts away. Kagome needed a distraction. She took a sip of the coffee, watching as some of the wolves playfully battled one and another.

Meanwhile, a few meters away, Kouga was leaning against a tree. His arms were stained red from the blood of their recent kill but he did not bother washing it off. He already had to be civilized more than he liked meaning he was not going to be a  _human_ during these trips. He remained there, alone. He was not certain if he could actually talk to  _her_  and keep a straight face. Her scent was imbibed on his skin. And her warmth, he remembered her warmth. She snuggled up pretty close before he decided he was  _invading_  her privacy. After all, he only went to make sure she was safe and it did not require  _hours_  to do so.

Unfortunately that little moment allowed him to memorize her heartbeat, the sound of her breathing and many other things he should not remember.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his tangled hair.  _Damn it_. No, he was not going down that road again.  _Nope_.

Deciding that slightly avoiding her was worse - and totally not in his personality - he moved forward. He hit things head on and he certainly did not tip toe around people. Kagome always made him  _different_. A good kind of different though.

"We got some rabbits but I got a feelin' you ain't interested."

She turned around, a grin on her face. "Hey. Mm - no I think I'll stick to coffee," she said before sticking her tongue out to express her disgust.

He chuckled and nodded. "So, what do ya wanna do today?"

"Aren't you guys going to… _run_  around?" she said, almost wincing in fear that she was being rude. She was not exactly sure what wolves did. Or youkais for that matter. They fought but that was in the Feudal Era. What did they do now?

His amusement did not die down as his eyes lighted up with joy. " _Some_  are going to  _run around_ , but not all of us." He shrugged. "I could take ya around if ya want. I wouldn't suggest going alone, but ya'll be fine with me."

Walking around in the forest… just like old times. "I think I'd like that."

"A'right! Ya sure you don't wanna eat something?"

"I'm fine."

He nodded but made note to pack some food in a bag nonetheless. They might be gone for a while and he did not want her starving. "I'll get a bag and tell the others."

Kagome hurried to gulp down her coffee, the caffeine greatly needed. She remembered how exhausted she could be in the past and she would need her energy. Actually, she found herself hoping she was not too out of shape to do this. After all, she did not really do anything with her life in the past year except stay home. Did her life really become so boring after being so exciting?

Not far from her, Kouga was trying to rapidly shove everything in a bag. Unfortunately, he was not fast enough.

"Ya leavin' with Kagome?"

He did not need to see Ginta's face to know what his expression was like. "It ain't like that."

"Ya would have love to have her alone in the forest back then."

He sighed. "I ain't gonna do this. I'm not interested in Kagome. She's a friend. That's all she's ever gonna be. I'm not gonna date her."

Ginta pinched his lips awkwardly and then Kouga smelled it.  _Her scent_. He rapidly turned around only to find Kagome standing behind him with a sheepish smile on her face.

 _Shit. Shit. Fuck_. And then he stammered. "Oh - h - you're ready to go?"

"Do I need anything?"

"No."

"Then, I am."

Her expression looked the same, her voice was not different - she was  _unaffected_. Whatever she heard, she did not care. It only convinced him that he made the right decision by sticking with the friendship path. She was - and would always be - in love with Inuyasha. He accepted that. Hence why he was not going to ruin what they had or get his feelings hurt again.

Still, just to confirm, he subtly sniffed the air. Yeah. No change.

In silence, she followed behind him as he went ahead and led them into the forest.

-U-

_I ain't gonna date her_.

She already knew that. He might still be Kouga but he was not the same. Granted it did strike her as strange that he did not take a mate but perhaps as the centuries went on he changed and he found it better to be alone.  _She_  was better alone. Her past  _relationship_ , if you could call it that, left her a bit…scarred. Inuyasha never lied. Despite how  _close_  he would get to her, he always told her Kikyo was the one. He never pretended otherwise. She chose to keep loving him, to hurt. It was stupid but - she was in love.

She was confused as to if she was still in love or it was nothing more than lingering feelings. Could you still love after being away for a whole year?

None of it mattered.

Being with someone meant she was either going to lie forever or take a chance and appear completely insane. Her options were quite limited. And Kouga was not even part of those options. He was nice, he was a familiar face but he was… Kouga? And he did not even want her anymore. And she did not want to date him.

It all worked out.

Kouga found himself slightly off his game as he actually took the wrong path more than once. It bothered him - and it angered him that he let it bother him. He was not a fan of her silence either. Was it a good silence? Was she upset? No, wait. If she was upset he would smell it. Also, why would she be? It was not like she was expecting anything. It was the guys' fault. They messed with his head telling him all of those lies.

"We can stop if ya want," he inquired, finally breaking the silence.

"I'm fine," she replied, her voice almost a whisper.

She actually  _was_. It shocked her to know she could go on this long without being out of breathe. Though perhaps it was because she was slightly distracted. She should not be lost in her mind; instead she should admire the view. Trees, mud, patches of blue sky and clouds. And for once, she did not have to be on the look out for shards. No youkais roaming, no risk of attacks. Well - there could be bears but she had a feeling Kouga could handle those.

"I still wait for it."

As he kept walking, he tilted his head in her direction, waiting for more.

"The  _zing_  of power from a shard. For so long - it was my life. Hunting the shards."

"Ya could take up history or something. I mean it ain't the same but…"

"I think I would be too distracted pointing out all the flaws - and you know all the missing youkais from the history books."

She would have to do something, eventually. Although… "I could take up the shrine. Souta's not gonna wanna do it. My grandpa's not getting any younger." She knew how to be a Miko. Sort of. A future miko. It was what she was now right?

Despite his best intentions, he sniggered. "Sorry," he said between laughs. "I just, I keep thinking of ya in your little school uniform. Not exactly ya know, what ya picture a Miko being."

"Well sorry I didn't expect to be thrown five hundred years into the past. And I certainly was not going to dress like her."

Right. Kikyo. She was the dead miko if he remembered well. The one… Inuyasha was in love with.  _Oh_. Well it seemed he was quite talented at bringing up the subjects she clearly did not want to discuss. Fuck, he was an idiot. He had enough of Inuyasha back then; he did not need him now. And he did not need Kagome to be upset. He was supposed to show her a fun time this weekend. Sadness constantly lingered in her scent and he wanted to get rid of it. Although, if she wanted to talk to him about it, he would listen. That was what friends were for right?

"You were you."

Somehow, those words were quite comforting. Sometimes, she wondered if Inuyasha knew the difference. She knew he  _knew_  but it still attracted him to her in the first place. Also, everyone thought she was Kikyo or a copy. A look-a-like. Kouga only saw her. She was Kagome. The girl he kidnapped and chase after. It was a nice change. She was not held to any expectations.

"Thank you."

He let the subject be dropped, not wanting to upset her with any more talks about Kikyo. Though he was sad she thanked him because he saw her as herself. Sometimes he wondered just how exactly Inuyasha broke her. Yes, Kagome was strong but it did not mean her heart could not be scarred. Inuyasha was the only love she ever had.

"So, why didn't it work out?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Between you and those girls."

Right. The ones Ginta told her about - the ones he made up. "They weren't my type." Because he was hung up on  _her_  for too long and really, not a lot of people could measure up to Kagome. She set the bar really high.

"What is your type?" She hoped she was not prying but she preferred conversations about his love life over those about hers.

Actually, now that he thought about it, he did not really have a type. "When I find the right one, I'll just know it."

Romantic. Well, it did fit; he declared his love for her from the top of a mountain and he brought her flowers a couple of times. He was the romantic type. It saddened her even more that he did not find anyone; he deserved to be happy - he would make a girl  _very_  happy. She would not be surprised to learn that most women in his pack threw themselves at him.

"I guess we're in the same boat."

When he glanced at her, confused, she explained further. "I mean, you're a youkai. You can't just date anyone. And with everything that happened…I can't just… you know."

He nodded. "I think the future is more complicated than the past."

This was why she craved the past so much.

Kouga wanted to punch himself for making her sad again but he knew he might still be able to turn the situation around. If he took the right path this time, then they should be close by. He inhaled deeply and then, the scent filled his nose.  _Yes_. He grinned as he came to a halt. He grabbed her hand and his smile grew. "I wanna show ya somethin'."

She tightened her grip on his hand and allowed him to drag her. Quickly, they found themselves on the summit of a mountain and she felt her heart stop. The view was beautiful and different from what she was used to seeing in this era.

"It gets better." He pointed at a tiny waterfall. The water was barely flowing, but it was still kicking. "Do you know what that is?"

"A waterfall?"

"Not any waterfall.  _My waterfall_."

His waterf-… Kagome tilted her head to the side and began gazing at the vicinity. This was supposed to feel familiar, she knew it was.  _His waterfall_. "This is where your den was!"

His smile was too huge to contain and he almost broke into a laugh. "Yeah. That's where I took ya after kidnappin' ya." He watched as she peeked around, mesmerized. Since he was still holding on to her hand, he brought her to the edge and sat down, forcing her to do the same. "Down there is where I claimed ya."

It did not look the same. Everything changed, everything faded. However, all she had to do was look in Kouga's blue eyes and she could see what he saw; the past. She knew that when he admired this place, he only saw his den, not the changes nature and men did to it.

At this exact moment, he could  _sense_  the wolves running around, the howls, the thrill of the chase and the sounds of laughter. He loved this place.

"Is this why you all come here?"

"We didn't know at first. I mean it changed so much and it ain't like we had maps before or nothing. It was all instincts. But all this shit you guys built… it screws up with the senses."

She scooted over a little closer to him, their thighs touching. "All that matters is that you're home again. I'd love to find home." Her family, they were her home but it was not the same. She did not have a place like he did where she felt at peace.

"You will. It took me some time too ya know. I didn't like this world. I sure as hell didn't like all those humans running around like they owned the place. Your people - they don't share well."

He was not trying to insult her. Kagome was different. Most humans were cruel and they took over everything. They left nothing behind for anybody. It was frustrating to watch it happen, unable to do anything.

"I know."

Kouga inhaled deeply before closing his eyes. He let himself feel the wind against his face, he let the many scents fill his nose, and most of all, he let himself enjoy her presence.

Why was it so easy to be at ease around her? Why could he not feel this way with anybody else?

-U-

By the time Kagome and Kouga returned to their camp site, mid day came and passed. Nearly everyone, wolves and humanoids, turned their heads to look at them as they stepped closer. Kagome was slightly lost in her thoughts and did not notice but Kouga did. He did not fail to glare at them, silently ordering them to stop that foolish behavior. And they listened…after a few more stares.

"Thank you, I needed that."

"I did too."

Finding Kagome was one of the greatest things that happened to him. Yet, it also brought forward a lot of confusion and feelings. He needed the mountains and the forest to clear his mind. He was also glad she was not mad about his little comment earlier. She never mentioned it and she did not act any differently towards him.

"How was the  _walk_?"

Before Kouga had a change to shut down Ginta's insinuations, Kagome rushed to answer. "It was great, Kouga showed me where your old den was."

Despite his best efforts to hide his surprise, Ginta raised an eyebrow. How could Kouga  _claim_  he had no romantic feelings toward Kagome and then share something like that with her. Sure, she was pack no matter what but… that location was very important to Kouga. Everybody saw it and talked about it but he did not. He simply went there by himself and always quietly returned hours later.

"Yeah, can't believe it's still there," Ginta said with a smile. "We cooked ya some meat if ya hungry."

Kagome did not have time to reply that her stomach growled loudly. A hue of red covered her cheeks as she peeked down at the ground, slightly embarrassed. "I guess I am."

She followed Kouga and Ginta to where the others were. Kouga seemed fine but she felt somewhat awkward. It felt like they were close when they were sitting at the edge of the cliff. Of course, they were…kind of close…they were friends. It was strange…she did not know how to explain it. Yet, she remembered his words clearly. While they did not bother her, they did confuse her. Kouga was the guy who was in love with her. At least that was who he was for a very long time. Now he was a friend who had  _no_  feelings at all for her and had no interest in dating her.

That was what she wanted in the past right? The only real part that bothered her about Kouga was his incessant pursue of her. Now, that was over. It was great.

"Here ya go," Ginta said as he offered her a plate full of meat.

"Do I want to know what animal this is?"

"Probably not," Kouga offered with a grin.

"Right," she silently mouthed.

Since she was very hungry, she took a piece of meat with her fingers and shoved it in her mouth. She carefully began chewing until she realized the taste was actually decent. "Don't tell me what it is because I like it."

She also made a mental note not to look up since everyone else was eating bloody, red meat.

Suddenly, the peace and quiet was harshly disturbed when sounds of fighting filled the vicinity. Kouga's eyes were the first to search the source of the trouble. Once he located it, a swear slipped in and he hurried to his feet. "Idiots."

"It happens often," Hakkaku said to re-assure Kagome who was still staring at the three wolves fighting.

Meanwhile, Ginta carefully waited until Kouga was far enough from them before focusing his attention on Kagome. He approached his head to hers and whispered. "Ya know Kouga didn't mean what he said earlier, right?"

Hakkaku elbowed Ginta in the side and glared at him. Kouga would  _not_  like it if they discussed those kind of matters with Kagome. He already was pissed they mingled every time. He seemed on edge today and he was not sure that making him angry was the way to go.

"Didn't mean what?" Kagome's chewing came to a halt and she raised her glance to meet Ginta's. She was positive her heart was beating faster - and louder. It seemed nobody would let her forget what Kouga said.

"When he said he'd never date ya."

"Oh, it's okay," she finally replied after a moment of silence. This was awkward and she was not sure why anybody thought she was upset. They  _had_  to know by now that she kept turning him down over and over again in the past. "We're just friends. I didn't think he wanted to go out with me." Her voice was quivering a bit, mostly because she was nervous. Kouga and her we're friends. That was what she needed. A friend.

"But he does."

Kagome finally swallowed the last bite of her food. "He did a long time ago," she rectified.

"No, he still does. He loves ya, he always loved ya." Ginta was about to add more than he felt a cold shiver spread down his spine. When he raised his gaze, he found Kouga  _glaring_  at him with twitching ears.  _Damn it_. He heard everything. Ginta thought he would be far enough or too busy to listen in on the conversation. He offered a sheepish smile but it did nothing to ease Kouga's rage.

"I mean, we all love ya. You're our sis!"

She arched an eyebrow and turned her head to see what caused Ginta to gulp. However, all she saw was Kouga smiling at her, his face slightly red. She imitated his reaction by blushing and quickly peeked away. "I love you guys too. I'm really glad I get to…you know be here."

Ginta was not given the chance to say anything since Kouga approached him and wedge his foot under his thigh. Then, he gave a friendly kick and moved him out of the way. He took that opportunity to sit between Ginta and Kagome, preventing his idiotic  _brother_  from making the situation any worse. It was one thing to talk about this with him but… her? As if he needed Kagome to be uncomfortable! He knew she didn't like when she said she was happy to be with them. He wanted it to stay that way.

"Cubs. Always fightin'."

" _Cubs?"_  she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah. They're cubs."

"They look older than me."

He chortled. "They  _are_  older than ya. They're a hundred years old."

"And that makes them cubs?"

"When ya live as long as we do,  _yeah_."

Right. She kept forgetting Kouga's  _real_  age. He survived the last five hundred years and since a hundred years old was still a cub…he had to be  _at least_  six hundred years old right?

"Don't think I don't know you're counting how old I am."

"I did call you grandpa before."

"Alrigh', that's it."

Without really thinking it through he began tickling her sides. Kagome fell unto the ground rather rapidly, giggles and screams escaping her. She wriggled on the ground and he soon found himself kneeling at her side, hovering on top of her as he kept on going with his ministrations. She pressed her hands to his chest trying to push him away but she was not strong enough. Her laughs got louder and he joined in.

"Am I still a grandpa?"

Because she could not find her voice, she nodded.

He smirked at her refusal to give up and raised his hands. This time, she starting kicking with her feet, the tickling obviously unbearable. Since they were busy in their little game, neither noticed when, while fighting him, she wrapped her legs around his waist. All she thought of was to use this new grip on him to push him away but that ended in a failure as well. It was not until he nearly lost his balance and had to use his arms to prevent himself from falling on top of her that it hit him.

Her face was close - too close. Her soft, cute nose was ready to brush up against his, her breath was warm against his skin and her beautiful crystal blue eyes were locked on his face. He could hear her heart loud and clear but he could not hear his own. Probably because it was not beating. No, all he felt was her long legs wrapped around him, keeping his groin close to her lower body.

No words were exchanged as her expression finally transformed. She was  _trying_  to smile at him but her bottom lip kept quivering. He decided to spare her and lifted himself up without her having to ask. Once he was standing on his own two - slightly quaking - legs, he offered her his hand. She shyly took, avoiding his eyes at all cost, and rose up.

He wanted to say something,  _anything_  but no words came to mind.

Kagome was the one to break the silence. "I'm -a- I'm a little cold. I'm just going to get my sweater."

Kouga nodded, still voiceless.

It was not until she was far that he let a curse slip him.

"Hey Ko-"

"This is your fault," he interrupted. "If ya hadn't talked about what happened earlier, I wouldn't have had to distract her."

"We were trying to help."

"You're not helpin'." He ran his fingers through his hair, uneasy. "I told ya already. I'm her friend - nothing else."

"Alright."

So far, they had that conversation many times and it did not change anything. Apparently, the more they pushed him the worse it got. They did not want for Kouga to purposefully avoid his feelings because of them. Unfortunately, they knew that without someone pushing Kagome or Kouga it was not going to happen. Kouga used to be so persistent, never giving up. Why was he so afraid to show his feelings this time? It was not like him. Even his cocky attitude was gone when he was around her.

" _Thank you_ ," he said exasperated.

A few meters from them was Kagome, locked away in her tent. She was fumbling through her bag, trying to find her sweater. Frankly, she probably fished it out of there three times already and simply did not realize because of her brittle state. Inhale. Exhale. She had to remind herself to do both of those. Her heart was pressing against her rib cage with his pump and her hands were shaking like leaves. When did it become this easy to be around him? It took her forever to notice the closeness. They never formed a close bond or nothing.

Kagome finally let her bag dropped on the ground and then she tilted her head backwards to take a deep breath. This was silly; she was acting like a young teenager. She could be around people, around men, without blushing like this. Her reaction probably made him uncomfortable. He was tiptoeing around her, trying to make her happy and she was acting weird or sad. Things were better for her…why could she not get rid of the sadness inside of her?

She shook her head and then looked down in her bag. She easily spotted the red sweater and quickly snatched it away before slipping it on. Once she re-did her ponytail, she shoved her bag away and exited the tent. Calm, she had to be calm, she reminded herself as she walked back near the campfire.

They welcomed her as if nothing happened and she appreciated it. Maybe she was the one who read too much into it.

Kouga was right when he invited her over for the weekend. She did need to relax and learn how to enjoy herself. Perhaps it was not too late to do exactly that.

-U-

"Alright, we got sake and beers!"

The wolves began passing the alcohol between all of them and they respectfully skipped Kagome at each turn. She did not mind considering that she did not drink. Last time she was around Kouga and alcohol though, she got her shirt soaked. She would be mindfully of everyone with a drink this time.

Ginta threw a beer at Kouga who gladly accepted it. He opened it and a bit of foam spurted from it and leaked down the sides, wetting his hands. He took a huge gulp under Kagome's watchful eyes. She did not expect him to stay sober because she was there. He was a grown man and this was his weekend to relax. Plus, it was none of her business what he did.

"Want a beer?" he asked with a smile.

"I think I'll pass." She could still remember the taste and had no intention of repeating  _that_  experience.  _Yuk_.

He finished his beer and tossed it in the garbage bag with the rest of the trash. He got up and retrieved another one from the cooler. It would take him  _many_  to even feel a slight buzz. Cheap human alcohol. Not that he intended on getting drunk or anything. Especially not with Kagome around.

A strange voice came from behind her and then a hand appeared beside her. "Sake?"

Kouga, Ginta and Hakkaku all turned to look at him but the male wolf only offered a shrug. "You said no beer. Ya didn't say anything about sake!"

Sensing some tension, Kagome smiled. "It's okay. I'll have some."

That she did drink before. Sometimes, on rare special occasions, her grandfather would open a bottle of sake and they would all drink a small glass. It definitively tasted before than beer. She took the cup from the stranger and sipped at it. At the same time, she raised her head to look at the darkening sky. She could really do this every day.

"We should stay here."

"I'd love that."

"Why don't you?"

He shrugged. "Gotta work, take care of the pack."

"Don't you have everything you need out here?"

"I think if a bunch of men  _and_  wolves starting camping out there, they would eventually notice."

 _Right_. "You could stay longer."

"Yeah, but then we wouldn't have jobs waiting for us back in the city. Ya can't live in this world just by hunting."

Oh how he learned that the hard way. They almost starved and died once. Living with humans required many years of adjustments but they got it right in the end. However, he refused to go through that again. Powerful youkais like them should not have near death encounters that often.

While Kouga finished his third beer in a gulp, she took a bigger sip of her sake. "I used to do this with Inuyasha and Shippo."

"Muttface watching the stars?"

She laughed. "No, he mostly complained about my need to  _rest_. It was so human of me."

He did not want to push the whole Inuyasha topic but… she did start it. "Ya know, I never understood. He was an asshole. I was charming."

"He was nice underneath all that. He was just trying to protect himself."

"If you say so."

"Hey you did kidnap me. And I'm sure if you hadn't found me pretty I would have ended up as dinner."

"Ya would have made a great dinner." He flashed his fangs at her and she giggled.

"Watch out with those. I give mean slaps."

From then until complete darkness, they kept talking and slowly drinking. The awkwardness faded away and all that was left was friendless. Nothing interrupted them, mostly because they all remembered Kouga's infatuation with the Miko and nobody knew where this was going…and Ginta glared at anyone who got near.

"I had a nightmare last night."

He almost choked. "Oh?"

"I don't really remember what it was about. I was scared. Then, the weirdest thing happened. You came along and you helped me."

That would explain why she said his name. He wondered though if it was his presence that influenced her dream or he was always going to be the hero regardless.

"You always did in the past. I mean, even when I was politely telling you I wasn't interested you laid your life on the line for me."

"You were my woman. It was my job to protect you. It still is."

"I thought I wasn't your woman anymore."

"You're still pack."

She brushed her thumb across the rim of her glass and nodded. She did not really deserve that. She helped his pack once but after that she did not do anything else. They took pack seriously and they defended each other with their lives. She was not worthy of that. Nonetheless, she kept her thoughts to herself and instead finished her third glass.

"And I think that's enough for ya."

"You had nine beers."

"But I'm a youkai."

"I'm a Miko."

"I don't think that gives you resistance to alcohol."

"Who knows."

He shook his head while a smile adorned her face. Despite her best tries, he took the glass away from her. "You're under my protection."

"Because I'm pack."

"Because you're Kagome."

"What does that mean?"

He put her glass down on the ground and then softly tucked in a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I'll always watch over ya."

"But you wouldn't want to date me," she blurted out.

He blinked once, then twice. Was she hurt? She seemed fine earlier and yet she was bringing it up.

"Do you really want me chasing after you relentlessly again?"

"No."

"I'm just glad we're friends after all this time."

"Me too."

Silence installed itself between them. It remained that way until he felt her rest her head on his shoulder. "Tired?" he asked, taunting.

Instead of providing him with a verbal reply, she nodded. He let her stay there, thinking that once she would be tired enough, she would go in her tent. Apparently he was wrong which he noticed once he felt her breathing become steadier. He put his half finished beer down and tilted his head to look at her. Her eyes were closed and she appeared to be quite peaceful; he did not want to wake her up. Instead, he chose to snake his arms around her and carry Kagome to her tent.

As soon as he was on his feet, she rested her hand and head against his chest. He felt the pack's eyes on him while he transported her but he kept his gaze on her. He kneeled down in front of her tent, unzipped it and entered it with her still tucked in against him. He carefully laid her down on her sleeping bag but what happened next was not expected. She did not let go. Instead, she even wrapped her arms around his neck. He tried to be delicate as he wrapped his fingers around her wrist to release himself. Before he could do that, she pressed her lips to skin.

A tingle spread to his whole body and he froze. Then, as if to make matters worse, she  _nuzzled_  into the crook of his neck. His heart began to feel heavy and now he was the one who did not want to let go. He covered a chuckle by scoffing and then buried his nose in her hair. Gently, he kissed her, lingering probably longer than he should.

When he pulled away, she finally released him.

His large hand cupped her face. "You make it so hard not to fall for you."

As if he ever stood a chance.

He was doomed to forever have his heart broken by Kagome Higurashi.

This time, however, he would  _like_  her in silence.

-U-


	6. Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I am not dead. You are all shocked right? I know. If I say one more time, sorry I suck at updating and school is a bitch, I will feel like a broken record. Instead, I will say thank you to those who put up with me and still read my stuff. You're awesome.
> 
> Also, this is not beta.
> 
> Second also, on my profile you can find a little section where I say, Wanna know what I'm up to? And there's the % of completion of each chapter and the date that number was updated.

The sun was low in the sky by the time Kagome woke up. For the second morning in a row, it felt empty and cold by her side. Also, she had a small headache and felt a bit dehydrated. However, none of these were the reasons why she was already awake despite the earliness of the morning. Noises, hushes and whispers were the reason she sat in her tent with her eyes wide opened.

Perhaps the others were already awake. Maybe they were packing? Last night was the last day after all. She smoothened her wrinkled clothes and tried to brush her hair with her fingers before emerging out of her tent. As soon as she stepped out, she realized she was right. Most of the tents were already all wrapped up and tons of coolers were piled up on top of each other. It was already the end of their little weekend getaway.

She recalled being very tired at some point last night but she remembered it all, even the end. Especially falling asleep… on Kouga. At least that was where she assumed she fell asleep since the last thing she recalled was talking to him. And the embarrassing conversation. She did not mean to make it look as if she was cornering him about the whole dating thing. They were friends and it was great. What she meant to say simply came out the wrong way. Although, she was not exactly sure what she meant to say to him last night. Perhaps part of her was a bit scared. Even though he found no one so far, what if he did? At the moment, he was her rock. If she lost him…

"Hey Sis'."

She turned her head to see Ginta smiling at her. "How did ya sleep?"

He tried not to smirk, he really did. Unfortunately, when Kouga came out of her tent he was about ten shades of red and the memory of that was enough for him to break into a large grin. Although they knew nothing  _happened_  - well a little something did have to happen though…but obviously nobody asked - even though many of them teased a grumpy Kouga. That left them with their curiosity unsatisfied.

"Mmm, I slept fine," she finally answered as she brushed her bangs out of her face.

"Kouga's over by the cars loading everything if you're lookin' for him. Or there's food by the campfire in case ya wanna eat somethin'," he said before grabbing a few coolers to carry back to the cars.

"Thanks," she said as her eyes scanned the vicinity.

Kouga and a few other wolves were shirtless, some almost naked, which she assumed was because they did one last run before leaving. That detail alone however made her decide to get some food instead even if she was not very hungry. She did not know how comfortable she felt about standing in the middle of naked wolves -  _guys_. As soon as she was near the fire, the powerful scent of the meat reached even her weak nose. At least it was cooked. She could still vividly remember the time they threw raw meat at her and she almost shuddered at the memory.

"Hungry?" a blond hair wolf asked her as he handed her a plate.

Whatever meat it was, she was almost certain that she did not usually eat it for breakfast. Nonetheless, she took the plate from him and sat down on a large rock to eat. She cut bits and pieces off with her fingers before shoving them in her mouth. At first she was unsure, but afterwards, she decided she liked it.

Meanwhile, Kouga was charging the final supplies into his car. His eyes diverted and he found himself searching for Kagome. Obviously, her aura stood out in the midst of the wolves and he did not have to look for very long. After last night's realization, he still knew friendship was the way to go. However now that he was staring at her, it was slightly difficult to forget her lips on his skin or her cute little nose pressing in his neck. Before, it was easier to get over her since nothing truly happened between them but now was a completely different story. Nonetheless, all of her gestures were innocent and she meant nothing by them, plus he truly valued her friendship. It was nothing he could not get over.

Taking a deep breath, he headed her way.

She strangely did not seem to notice his presence, or chose to ignore it, since she did not move or turn around. Nonetheless, he spoke. "Hey."

This time, her hair swung to the left as she tipped her head to the right. "Morning!" she offered with a smile. "Are we leaving already?" she inquired, almost rushing to finish her food.

He shrugged. "You got some time left. No need to hurry. We just like to get all the packing out of the way."

"Can I help with anything?" It almost sounded a little silly considering they were all strong and fast youkais but she felt bad just sitting around doing nothing.

"Don't worry about it. We're fine."

"Sorry about last night," she blurred out before looking away. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."

"You were tired. And I'm gonna stop ya at one glass of sake next time."

She laughed. "Thank you for inviting me."

"Anytime."

"I spent the last year pretty locked up. For a while there, I thought it would not get better, I thought that was it. After living a life of adventures and wonders I was supposed to pretend I liked normal."

"It ain't very exciting anymore."

"Maybe not." She paused. "But being with all of you makes me feel less crazy." They knew the times she knew and they were part of the world she was used to…and part of  _his_  world. "Thank you for that."

He crouched down to her level. "You don't ever have to feel crazy." He looked straight into her eyes, captivating her. "I felt crazy for a while, tryin' to be human and stuff. Ya just gotta remember who you really are. Doesn't matter if they don't know."

A bright smile formed on her face as she put her plate down. What she did next came as unexpected for Kouga: she threw her arms around his neck and held on tight. At first he was stunned but he quickly grinned and hugged back. She felt tiny and precious in his arms but he knew she was not fragile. Although she did seem awfully sad at the moment which he did not like. She was Kagome, she was supposed to be happy. She was meant to get everything she desired.

When Kouga opened his eyes and raised his head, he caught an unpleasing sight: Ginta and Hakkaku staring at them with the eyebrows arched. They seemed quite pleased with themselves.

Reluctantly, Kouga pulled away from Kagome and kept his best smile on, flashing his pearly white teeth. He almost expected her to be uncomfortable but then he quickly reminded himself what a friendly and caring person Kagome was. He could recall her hugging her friends quite often in the past and it  _was_  a friendly gesture and she had no reason to feel embarrassed or flustered about it.

He glared at Ginta and Hakkaku very briefly, which went unnoticed by Kagome. "We can go for one more walk if you want - after your breakfast."

"No, you should…  _wolf it up_ ," she said with a laugh. "I'll be fine. You should really enjoy your last moment here."

"I don't need it," he quickly replied.

"This is why you come here. I  _will_  feel bad if you don't go."

She looked at him, begging him with her eyes and he found himself unable to go against her. "It will be real quick."

"Take your time. Now  _go_  before it's too late."

She was happy simply being there and she did not need him jeopardizing his fun for her. She shooed him with her hands and he laughed as he walked away.

Kouga did not even have a chance to make it to the forest that Ginta and Hakkaku began to crowd him. "You know, ya could have invited her to ride on your back."

"Didn't she use to ride on Inuyasha's back all the time?" Ginta added.

"I'm sure she woulda find it more fun to ride on a wolf."

He wanted to be mad at them for their intrusion but instead he was frustrated with himself. He  _could_  have thought of that! Not for his own benefit of course but for hers. Instead of waiting alone, she could have come with him. Now though, he would feel like idiot if he went back to ask. Especially since she probably could see him talking to Ginta and Hakkaku and would know it was not his idea.  _Damn it_.

"Ya gotta at least try to  _woo_  her. How else are ya gonna have a shot?"

"I ain't gonna  _woo_  her," he reprimanded. "She's my friend."

"Then ya smell an awful lot like her for just a  _friend_."

At their words, Kouga was unable to stop the blush from reaching his cheeks. "You don't know what ya talkin' about," he said before rushing away from them. They were  _not_  supposed to get a reaction out of him! Kouga hurried to shift in his form and began running far from their camp's location.

Now he needed that run more than ever.

-U-

The afternoon was near over when almost all the wolves returned. Barely anything was left unpacked but Kouga did not return yet. Kagome found herself watching the horizon. She knew he was fine or the others would have probably sensed it and she decided not to worry. Nonetheless, it did not prevent her from looking for him every once in a while. Since she was busy looking at the forest, she never noticed Kouga, who was still in his wolf form, sneaking up on her from behind. Taking, advantage of the opportunity, he pressed his muzzle to her back.

A yelp escaped her and she quickly turned around. When she found the blue eyed wolf looking at her she smiled. "Very funny," she said sarcastically. "I guess you had fun." She found herself wondering if he would prefer being in that form all the time instead of the human one.

He gave her the best nod a wolf could give and then laid his head on her lap. Her smile only grew in size as she started to scratch behind his ears. "It must be nice to just leave it all behind and run."

Kouga nuzzled closer to her as an attempt to bring her comfort. He chose to stay in this form because he thought she would be more comfortable - he did not mean to make her sad. He thought about leaving to change back but she slowly began to lower her hand and rub his neck and back. He had to admit, the feeling was nice. Though, he was fairly certain that once more, she was just seeing a wolf and she would blush once she would remember it was  _him_ , him _._

Kagome lowered herself to the ground and scratched under his neck and he waggled his tail. Then, he proceeded to lick the side of her face and she giggled loudly as it tickled.

Ginta and Hakkaku were watching the scene from afar with their arms crossed over their chests. "Yeah, he  _ain't_  into her alright."

"He's lucky she's human. I'm pretty sure that counts as wolf courting, She just doesn't know it."

They were happy for him but they simply wished he would admit the truth and that he would actually try. It was clear that Kagome did not feel the same as she did before: her feelings changed. She was more receptive to him and his feelings. If he could just  _do it right_  this time, they knew he would have a shot. Unfortunately, they both seemed stubborn and they had a feeling that they would have to let them figure it out on their own… with a little help now and then of course.

"I think we're all ready to go," one of the wolves said as he joined Ginta and Hakkaku.

"Don't tell Kouga yet," Ginta said as he nodded in direction of their leader.

The wolf followed their glance only to see Kouga half on his back with Kagome rubbing his belly. "Are they?"

"Nah, she doesn't know."

"He sure does though," he said with a chuckle before walking away.

Meanwhile, Kouga  _knew_  it was time to change back into his human form. If he let her pet him any longer it might actually become torture. He could not remember if he ever let anyone close enough to do that. He did not know just how good it would feel to let himself be close to someone like that. The fact that it was her made it even better. At least he was glad that she could relax in his presence and she seemed to enjoy his wolf form.

He gave her one last lick before running further into the forest to where he left clothes. As he changed back, he found himself slightly tensed. The memories of her soft hands on him was a bit too vivid. He took a moment to breathe deeply before joining the group again. He did not miss the arched eyebrows as he walked past Ginta and Hakkaku but ignored them. Instead, he offered Kagome a smile. "Ready?"

"Awe, I kinda miss you as a wolf."

"Don't worry. This won't be your last camping trip," he said with a grin.

He offered her his hand to help her up and she took it. "Meet ya guys at the house," he said to Ginta and Hakkaku as Kagome and him walked to the car.

"Thank you for this weekend."

"Don't thank me yet. It ain't over."

"Please tell me it's not other party where I'm gonna get beer spilled all over me."

He chortled. "Hopefully for that guy,  _no_. I can drive ya straight home if ya want though," he said while hiding the disappointment in his voice.

"No, no. I want to come." She did not want this to be over just yet. The life waiting for her back there was one where all her friends had graduated from school and she was left home with no real education and no job. There was no rush.

 _Good_. He was almost always waiting for the moment she would say she was tired of hanging out with him. Especially now that  _old feelings_  were coming back, he was afraid of crossing the line without realizing it. He wanted Kagome in his life at all cost. He would be her friend.

"Don't worry. It'll be more fun than last time. Less alcohol too," he said teasingly. "Well, less alcohol on your shirt."

After weekends like that, the wolves tended to go overboard. It was hard to let go of the past after such nice reminders. He allowed a few slip ups now and then as long as nobody got hurt.

They got in the car and waited for everyone to leave first. Ginta and Hakkaku were in the first car leading the way which Kouga's car was the last in the line. Kagome rolled her window down, letting the wind play with her hair. It was a shame it was already over.

"Why don't you guys do this more often?"

"Too many wolves too often would make people suspicious."

"What does it feel like?"

He glanced at her, confused.

"Turning into a wolf, being a wolf."

She was always just Kagome. She never got to let go, be free and just  _be_  something else. She was envious of that. She was stuck with the same problems, the same state of mind.

"Does it still feel like you're you?"

"I'm more me as a wolf than I am now," he admitted.

"Then why not stay as a wolf all the time?"

"It's more complicated than that. And I like this form. I'm just less of a wolf like this."

He did not know how to explain his instincts and everything that came with it. This form felt more restrictive when he wanted to be  _free_  but it was better for other situations, sometimes more powerful too and certainly more convenient.

"It's - the wolf's the freedom."

Despite the fact that he was driving, he turned his head to fully look at her. She glanced back with understanding in her eyes and she had no idea how much that meant to him. All the years, he thought that was it for him. It was not as if the pack was expanding a lot or that new youkais would pop out. Humans - it was complicated. He did not think a lot of them would be fine with the concept of mating a youkai and having hanyou children. But Kagome - she was everything he needed, everything he wished for. Although, he was her friend and she was never going to be the magic answer. Nonetheless, his chest swelled with happiness and he grinned at her.

She looked happy.

He never wanted to see sad Kagome again.

Kagome was the one to break the gaze and looked out the window at the forests they were passing. She imagined the freedom of running through them without a care in the world. Without a heartbreak, without any sadness.

Oh, how she envied them.

-U-

By the time Kouga and Kagome arrived the house, the place already smelled like cooked meat and there was quite the party atmosphere going. The grills were on, the alcohol was out and the music was playing. Meanwhile Kouga was looking at the still packed cars and he shook his head.

"These better be taken care of before tomorrow!" he warned teasingly.

Once he was done laughing, he turned to Kagome. "I gotta check on a few things. Are you gonna be alright?"

"I think I can handle myself in a pack of wolves."

He grinned. "I have no doubts."

She watched him leave, the smile on her face never leaving. Even though he made it hard to be  _good_  friends in the past with his relentless pursue of her, he was now making it very easy. He cleared her mind and most of all, he reminded her she could have fun again without being in the feudal era or without being with  _him_. Once again,  _he_  was wiped from her mind completely. Until now.

She shook her head: she had to  _stop_  thinking about him every time she was having fun. It would not do any good.

"Hey Sis!"

At first, Kagome expected to see Ginta or Hakkaku but it was another wolf. Apparently the nickname was catching on. "Want some?" he asked offering her a glass filled with a rather greenish liquid.

"What is it?" she asked as she took it from him.

"Just a little somethin' we all drink. Wolf drink."

 _Wolf drink_? She was not sure she trusted it, not with a name like that.

"We all drink it at the end of the weekend. It's got no alcohol. It's not to get drunk and it's not drugs. I promise."

She eyed the drink, then the wolf before forcing a smile. One would not hurt. She quickly downed the whole thing and found herself agreeing with him; she tasted no alcohol. It did not taste that great and it was mostly spicy but it was drinkable.

"Thanks," she said as she gave him back the glass.

"There's more over there if ya want! Before it runs out!"

More? From what he told her it was a  _juice_. If she was thirsty again, she would simply go with water instead; it was tastier. She was not really into spicy food so,the  _wolf drink_  did not really do it for her.

As soon as he was gone, Hakkaku popped up beside her. He had a concern look on his face as he watched the wolf walked away.

"Something wrong?"

"Nah," he said while shaking his head. "Ya should just go easy on those."

"I thought there was not any alcohol?" she asked with a frown.

"There isn't. It has something else though." It had very specific plant essence in it. He knew their reactions on wolves but he did not know how a human, miko nonetheless, would react to it.

"Is it bad?"

Noticing the concern now developing in her voice, he chose to smile. "Oh it's nothing to worry about. I just, ya know, I think he forgets humans and wolves just don't have the same tolerance."

It should not be bad. It was not drugs or alcohol. Wolves mostly used it to clear up their senses. The  _human lifestyle_  was very polluted and it affected their sensitive noses and whatnot. Their instincts could get dull out and it was very frustrating for a wolf when they could not count on their instincts. It was more like a cleanse. It was completely fine for wolves and most youkais but…he never heard of a human drinking it. The effect of it on her were unknown.

She nodded but it was clear she did not really believe him. She made a note to really make sure to avoid the drink from now on. Still, she decided to go mingle with some of the wolves since she was less shy than before and got to know quite a few of times during the weekend. Hakkaku watched her leave, making sure to keep an eye on her. Kouga would kill him if anything happened and he would not forgive himself anyway.

"What's wrong?" Ginta asked as he joined his friend.

"I'm gonna have to talk to Haru. I don't think he's gonna wanna face Kouga's wrath."

They both knew Haru meant no harm. Drinking the plant essence together was a tradition they had, a way to remain who they were, and Kagome  _was_  considered pack. As matter of fact, it was a great thing that even the wolves in the pack that did not know Kagome back then, came to accept her. Nonetheless, they all felt very protective of Kagome and did not wish for any harm to come to her.

"Don't worry, I'll explain it to him," Ginta offered as he marched in direction of Haru.

From where he stood, Hakkaku could already tell how apologetic the wolf was and he felt bad. Maybe they were trying to shelter her too much. Though, it was hard to tell. Kagome spent her teenage years traveling through time and then, locked up at home. She did not really have any experiences and might react badly if this made her feel sick, also her limit was much different than theirs. The last thing than wanted was for her to have a bad time or get sick or something.

Meanwhile, Kouga was in the living room with two wolves, Yuukie and Kiyo. It was old custom to tell the leader when a mating took place. Usually it was done before but since the traditions were not as important anymore, they mostly shared the news out of respect. Now, they were announcing to Kouga that during the weekend away they mated. Obviously, it was an event to celebrate, especially if you considered how low in population the wolf pack was. Wolves rarely had cubs outside of mating and since mostly everybody was single that meant no new life was brought into the pack. Also it was also perfect timing since everything was ready for a celebration.

"Congratulations," he said with a beaming smile.

"Thank you," Kiyo said as he wrapped his arm around Yuukie.

They had cubs in the pack but none of them were  _children_  as humans would put it. He did miss the feeling of having youngsters around. It took him back to the past when the place was crawling with little ones. He missed that.

He guided them outside so that he could make the announcement. He remained on the porch before whistling. He could have growl, like he used to, but over the years, as they learned to blend in, they lost some of their more animalistic habits. Nonetheless, his whistling got everyone's attention and they all stopped their activities to turn around and look at them.

"We have somethin' else to celebrate tonight." He pointed at Yuukie and Kiyo. "A new mating."

Cheers were heard and some whistling was added. The new couple blushed before joining everyone and mingling in.

"Now, ya'll gotta be careful tonight and don't get caught up in all that lovey feeling. Cause, remember that shit is permanent." Having a newly mated couple released a certain scent in the air and he did not need anybody acting like an idiot. He knew how tempting it could be sometimes, especially if they were interested in someone but mating was not joke, it was a serious matter and had to be treated as such.

Once everyone was done listening to him, he got off the porch and joined Kagome.

"Mating huh?"

"Yeah, it still happens once in a while."

She pinched her lips, unsure if the question she wanted to ask was appropriate or not. "What is mating exactly? I mean you explained the whole courting thing but I — you know what… just forget it," she concluded with a chuckle.

For the briefest instant, his mind wandered somewhere it should not but he quickly recovered. "Mating, hm, it's - it's just a bond. Between - usually - two youkais."

"A bond?" Since he turned quite red when she asked her questions she thought the answer was a bit more embarrassing than that.

He scratched the back of his head. "Ya see, there's a mark. The male leaves a mark on the female during," he paused, "the mating and it bonds them forever. It ain't reversible so ya gotta be sure when you do."

"That's incredible," she finally said. "I mean, to love someone so much that you commit to forever."

"Sometimes it doesn't work out."

"Then what do they do?"

He shrugged. "Some find other people but it hurts. They're link to someone else ya know? Shit, I mean, it must be like gettin' your hear ripped out every time. You're betrayin' the one you're supposed to love."

"Do you think you'll find  _the one_?"

He did. "Maybe."

As she stared at the new couple and their happiness, she felt her body getting warmer. Puddles of sweat were forming at the base of her neck and her lips were completely dry. How did she not notice before how warm it was? She rubbed the back of her neck which transferred the sweat to her palm. Her aura became disturbed which did not go unnoticed by Kouga. He looked at her with concern shining in his eyes. He observed her strange movements and quickly realized she was quite uncomfortable.

"Do ya need something?"

"Oh," she said with a smile, "I'm just - I'm a little warm."

"I"l lget ya some water," he said as he hopped on his feet.

"Thank you," she said to his disappearing form.

Sweat was forming on her face and soon drops were in her eyelashes which blurred her vision. She tried to blink them away but it only seemed to make matters worse. Instead, she lifted her hands and used them to wipe her face. She remained in that position until she felt Kouga's presence. She hurried to drop her hands away from her face and then took the bottle from him. Even though she tried to smile, he still stood there as if he was expecting an answer from her.

"Really, I'm fine. Hakkaku said my tolerance to the wolf juice might not be as good as yours. Probably drank it too fast."

"Wolf juice?" His face darkened. "Who gave you that?"

Her lips twisted. "I don't remember."

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice sounding like a growl.

She felt a shiver traveled through her as she nodded. "It's fine, I'm just feeling light headed." To try and convince him further she took a sip of the water. It was not as bad as he thought it was. The feeling simply took her by surprise while she was not expecting it. Now that she remained steady and drinking water, she would be just fine.

"Please," she said, pleading him with her eyes, "it's a  _joyous_  occasion and I'm fine."

He offered her a small grunt before sitting back beside her. "But if you feel we-"

"I will tell you," she said cutting him off. "Don't worry."

It was sweet of him to be so concern with her well-being but he did not have to be. Every second, he seemed to think that if something happened to her, it would be his fault. She  _was_  a big girl. Also, nobody forced her to drink. She made that decision on her own and she would not let some poor guy get yelled at because of  _her_  choice.

"Seriously. I mean there is not any alcohol in it. Maybe I'm just - not used to whatever is in it."

The plant  _was_  harmless. At least he thought so. It was just something they drank yearly. Not only did their noses work much better after but the lungs felt less filled with crap. He seriously did not know how she found the air and the environment tolerable in this era. It was the worst he experienced so far.

"It's nothin' toxic," he added as if to re-assure her. "You're not gonna be high or nothing."

The thought did not even occur to her. Though she knew they would not have let her have it if it was harmless. "I'll be okay."

It was then that a theory crossed his mind. "You're a miko. Maybe it's just acting up. We ain't got the same  _energy_."

That was a plausible possibility. Sometimes it felt as thought she forgot about being a miko. After all, when did she ever use her power in this era? Up until recently she even though all youkais were gone and it was not as if you needed real holy powers to run a shrine. Being a real miko held no importance anymore. She had to admit though, she did not miss having to defend herself against Naraku all the time or watching her friends' time run out. Even though she could no longer see her friends, she knew they had long happy life without always fearing death.

"Ya alright?"

Kagome's aura suddenly filled with sadness and he did not like it. Was it another side effect to the plant?

"I'm fine. I was - I was just thinking about all of them. Sango, Miroku…" She stopped there. If she continued it would be even more depressing.

"You did the best thing you could do for everyone. Ya killed that bastard."

Naraku took from everyone - except her. At least that was true until the end. Apparently even in his death, misfortune had to happen and she found herself locked away. Although, could that be truly blamed on Naraku or was it simply faith? Maybe she was only meant to go in the past to fix the wrongs. After that, her place was here, in this time…alone. Naraku played with destiny and it corrected itself using  _her_.

"I know."

She leaned forward, trying to hide the tears forming in her eyes. Of course, that did not fool Kouga and he gently raised his hand so that he could brush away her bangs. He took hold of her chin and raised her head a bit. "It'll feel better one day."

They did not experience the same things but he recognized the sadness in her eyes since he once felt the exact same way. Kagome deserved better; she sacrificed so much for others, including a normal life.

Awkwardly, and in a way to comfort her, he leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead. When he got closer she froze at first but relax afterwards. It was until she felt a shift in his aura; it was like it pulsed  _through_  her and immediately it brought a blush to her cheeks and she pulled away.

"I - hm, did you feel that?"

Kouga's own cheeks were a bit red. "Yeah, I guess you're feeling your aura more than usual 'cause of the drink. A clash between yours and mine. Youkai and Miko." He had no clue what he was blabbering about but he knew he had to say something.

"You know, I think I'll get myself a bottle of water too," he added as he rushed to his feet.

Kagome watched him leave and then pressed a cold hand to her heated face. That was… unexpected. Almost like a spark. It was like she felt his aura instead of her inside of her.

She tried to not look embarrassed and she kept her gaze on him. She looked while he picked up a water bottle from a cooler only to be stopped when a girl grabbed his shoulder. Kagome recognized her from the trip but could not remember her name. The girl spoke, and Kagome could not understand, then both the girl and Kouga laughed which made her frown.

Since they found each other, it was the girl time she saw him speaking with a girl - which he was absolutely allowed to do. He simply seemed so uninterested in the dating thing that - well she could be a friend. And then the girl squeezed Kouga's arm. Or she could be interested in him. Though, Kouga already knew everyone from the pack, clearly meaning he knew this girl.

It could be good for him. She would be happy for him.

She decided to look away, the sight a bit awkward for her to watch. Kagome decided to switch spot and go mingle away. If Kouga wanted to talk to other people, she did not want him worrying about her waiting all alone.

In her trail, she left a scent that did not go unnoticed by Ginta who stood nearby. He glanced at Kagome, then Kouga before shaking his head in disappointment.

Those two were going to need a lot of help.

-U-


	7. Movie Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Pretty sure everyone either forgot about all my stories or they hate me for not updating. Sorry. I will make one thing clear though, I will never abandonned any of my stories. I know lately it's been taking a while to update but THEY WILL ALL BE FINISHED, I swear. Life is just wibbley wobbley full of ups and downs... so sometimes writing has to take the last place on the priority list. I'm sorry. Updates for all my other stories are coming and you can check their progress on my profile (should be tonight or tomorrow though).
> 
> If you're still reading, thank you.
> 
> Also, no beta-ed and seriously, it's been so long...and I've barely had any sleep... I'm sure it's FULL of mistakes and I'm deeply sorry for that.

_Tap. Tap. Bang._

She grumbled.

_Bang. Tap. Tap._

She shifted.

_Tap. Bang. Tap._

Groggy, Kagome opened her eyes. Unfortunately for her, the strange and annoying sound was not in her dreams; it was reality. She kicked her blankets off and fixed up her pyjamas before exiting her bedroom. She made it downstairs fairly quickly but all she found was her mother cooking.

And the ever present banging -and tapping- noise.

"Morning dear!"

"Morning," she said as she found a seat. "What is that noise?"

"Kouga and the others," she happily answered.

"Kouga?"

"Yes, they're fixing the roof for us remember?"

Oh right. They promised that right before the weekend. So much happened since then that it slipped her mind.

"I'm making them some food and lemonade to thank them."

Lemonade? Kagome twisted her neck to try and look at the time; it was already eleven o'clock. She did not even get home very late after the little celebration but she did struggle to find rest. Perhaps it was because the few days in the forest messed her up and took her back to the good old days. It was funny considering that back then all she dreamed of was her bed and now it seemed uncomfortable…or maybe it was the company she missed…

"Why don't you get dress and join them for lunch?" her mother offered. Granted she did not have breakfast yet but she might as well do a brunch.

It would seem weird if she did not go see them… not that she was trying to avoid them or anything. Things were fine. The party went great and she even stopped feeling warm because of the wolf juice rather quickly. She even got to reconnect with some of the other wolves. After all, during the trips some of them spent their time in their wolf form and so she did not get to talk to them at all. Also, nobody spilled beer on her which was a good plus.

"I will," she said before pushing herself up and heading upstairs.

Kagome quickly shuffled through her clothes before picking her yellow dress and her little blue top. Since her hair was a bit of a mess, she chose to wrap it up in a ponytail. She gave herself one quick glance before returning downstairs. Her mother was already waiting for her with lemonade on a tray along with glasses and bowls of mushroom noodles. Kagome took the bowls and her mother the lemonade and then headed outside. The sounds became louder as they got there. They put everything down on the table and then Kagome raised her head to try and spot them.

All she could see were naked hunched backs.

"We have food and drinks if you would like a break," Miyu said while blocking the sun from her eyes.

Those words seemed to attract everyone's attention since no more sounds were heard. Ginta and Hakkaku were the first to slide down and jump off, quite excited, and then a wolf name Kiyo came down and Kouga was the last one - and he used the ladder.

" _It's called blending in_ ," he said with a shake of his head. "Humans don't jump off roofs."

"Sorry, it just smelled so good," Ginta explained as he sniffed in the scents.

"Have at it," Miyu said with a smile.

"Thank you, Mrs. Higurashi," they nearly all said in unison.

Everybody went for the food but Kouga decided to approach Kagome. "Good mornin'! I hope we didn't wake ya. Your mom said we should start."

"It's fine. I overslept."

"Hey SIS!" Hakkaku screamed. Apparently the food distracted them from noticing her presence.

"Hey," she greeted back before turning her head back to look at Kouga. "So how's it going. With the roof."

"Good, it shouldn't take us too long."

"Thank you for doing this."

"It's the least we could do, trust me. Plus your mom's cooking smells and tastes amazing."

He flashed her a smile before joining everybody else at the table. She shyly did the same, taking a seat beside Kouga and across the other three guys. They seemed to rapidly devour their food while she slowly ate hers.

"Hey, sis are you busy tonight?"

Even though Ginta only spoke to Kagome both her and Kouga raised their head. Kouga's eyebrows were raised while he carefully waited for Kagome's reply.

"Hm, no."

"You should come over! We'll do a movie night."

Kouga blinked but said nothing and Ginta kept on ignoring him. "Some of the wolves left yesterday. They found an apartment."

Sometimes she forgot they did not all lived there permanently; it was very natural to see them all together.

"It'd be quieter than the other times."

"I don't mind the noises and the people." She welcomed it.

"So you'll come?" Hakkaku chipped in.

Her eyes traveled from Ginta's brown orbs to Kouga's icy blue ones. His expression was neutral despite the tiny smile forming at the corner of his mouth. "You guys already invite me over all the time. I don't want you to feel like you have to."

"We don't," Kouga hurried to say before frowning. "We love having you over."

His sincere tone convinced her. "I'd love to." She gazed away from Kouga and looked at Ginta instead. "Thank you for inviting me."

Kouga could not have been the one to invite her since he held no knowledge of any  _movie night_. They never occurred before and he certainly never thought they would host one. He did not object to Kagome's presence in their house, on the contrary, but he did reckon that bit of a heads up might have been appreciated. Especially considering how he was caught off guard. The last thing he needed was for Kagome to think he did not enjoy it when she was around.

Ginta accepted the fact that a small talk between him and Kouga was to happen later on. It was worth it. Kouga was a friendly person who talked with everyone within the pack. However, since their little reunion with Kagome, their leader nearly only spoke with  _her_. That probably led to her confused reaction the other night. Although, they welcomed it since it proved them right. Kagome might very well be open to something else than a simple friendship. The only problem was, if they left it up to Kouga, it would get nowhere.

They made sure to pick a casual activity that could be enjoyed by all of them. Plus, a movie night was not very hard to pull off and it could turn out to be very intimate right? At first, Kouga would block all their requests to leave the two of them alone, he was sure of it, but eventually they would find a way to make it look like a sort of date. At least, that was the plan Hakkaku and Ginta came up with so far.

Meanwhile, Kagome giggled.

Everyone glanced her way, intrigued.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I can't really picture all of you sitting on a couch eating popcorn."

She was not the only one.

Though now she reminded them  _not_  to forget about the popcorn… and other drinks that were  _not_  alcohol.

"We do more human stuff than you think," Kiyo offered as an explanation. From the moment Ginta suggested a movie night, he knew something was up and he had an idea why hence his reasoning behind playing along.

"All I've seen so far is partying and running around in the forest." There was nothing wrong with it but they seemed like the same old wild wolves bunch to her.

"We work sometimes!" Hakkaku defended. "We even go groceries shopping."

She laughed. "I'd love to see that." She imagined them running around, grabbing everything and running to the cashier.

"It ends up being pretty much what you're thinking right now," Kouga said with a grin.

"I'm sure it'll be  _fun_  then."

Kagome feared she might not be at ease, always infiltrating herself into their little lives but they did not seem to mind. Plus, a  _normal_  night with some  _not exactly normal_  people might be fun.

-U-

The evening came and the sky darkened while Kagome walked the streets of Tokyo. Kouga offered to pick her up, he even insisted, but she refused. This was her town, she always went around using subway, bus and walking and it did not have to be any different simply because he was there. Also, there was no need for him to go out of his way to help her. She was a big girl who could walk to his house all on her own.

As a cold breeze traveled through, she was glad she decided to change from a dress to a pair of pants. On top of it, her new attire would be more comfortable to watch a movie. She enjoyed the walk as well and it helped her clear her mind. The guys said people were gone but she wondered if that meant everyone or simply the new people that arrived when she did. Not that she minded a lot of people. Although when she thought movie night, she thought small, intimate moment between friends, not about thirty wolves sitting together. Both would be fun, though she was exhausted from her weekend and she did want to be able to relax. She did not know everyone very well and she might be more tensed if they were a bigger group.

Twenty minutes later, the house came into view. She hopped the stairs and her steps were faster as she approached the door. She then knocked and waited. Ginta was the one to open the door. His lips were stretched into a huge grin. "Hey, Sis!" He did not want to tell her that the reason he was in such a good mood was because they watched Kouga paced around the house for the last hour.

"I hope I'm not late."

"You're just in time," he said while moving out of the way to allow her to enter the house.

This whole event was organized for  _her -_ there was no way they would start without her.

She hung her jacket on the coat hanger and slipped off her shoes before following Ginta into the living room. There, she found Kiyo and Hakkaku sitting on the couch and popcorn and sodas were on the table. She sat in an empty spot and Ginta sat far from her, clearly leaving a spot for  _Kouga_. It did make Kagome ponder why he was missing. Her question was quickly answered when he came running.

"Sorry, I had to set up some jobs for the guys."

They might have found somewhere else to live but now they needed to pay for that place. Youkais tried to keep a low profile which meant usually they left no trace and that meant not a lot of  _human_  education. That made it difficult to get a job. They did try to be each other's references when they could but it did not always help. It left them with the options of small, little, temporary jobs for the most part. This was why he set up a small construction company.

Also, taking care of that  _right now_  offered a nice distraction from his inexplicable nervousness.

Without even thinking about it, he sat down beside Kagome. It was not until her elbow bruised against his that he realized how close they were.

"So this is all that's left?" she asked before an awkward silent settled in.

He shrugged. "There's a few more but they're not all here." He did not think they were interested in  _this_  kind of activities. Not only that but, except when they had big gathering events, they were not always together despite the fact that they shared one roof.

"Who's ready for a movie?"

Everybody shyly raised their hand and then, Hakkaku popped the first movie in. The title of the movie, Hana yorimo Naho, came into view and then the movie began. At first, Ginta and Hakkaku were really happy about their idea but as the movie kept on playing they realized that maybe they did not plan everything carefully enough. They picked movies that were recommended as some of the best movies. However, neither of them bothered to look what the summary was. Although the movie was great, it was hardly helping set the mood between Kouga and Kagome.

They did not even think this was the kind of movie Kagome liked!

Kouga kept stealing glances at Kagome who was leaning back, looking glazed. That was probably not the night she had in mind. She probably thought they listened to comedy and what not. He reached out for the popcorn and handed it to her by nudging her. She smiled at him and took a handful. He should have looked away but he did not. Instead he observed her as she took one piece of popcorn at the time and brought it to her lips. And  _now_  he was going to look away.

During the first movie, everyone remained  _stiffed_  and awkward. Except for Kagome since she was the only one who did not know everything that was going on. Ginta was counting the minutes until he could change the movie. Next one would be a romantic one. They would not screw up again. By now, Kagome and Kouga should have been left alone but… well the current mood would have probably harmed them more than anything else. The best they could do was wait it out and do it properly next time.

At least Kagome did not seem to mind. She was stealing popcorn from the bowl - bowl that was located on Kouga's lap - and never looked away from the television. One of their goal was to entertain her and it seemed that it worked.

Hakkaku leaped off the couch the moment the credits rolled in. "What a great movie," he said with enthusiasm while digging through the pile for the next one.

"I hope you're up for another one sis!"

It was sort of late but then again a movie night usually meant more than one movie right? Plus, one of them could always give her a ride back home… or they might invite her to spend the night. She felt safe with them. She  _slept_  in a forest with all of them. A house was actually way more convenient.

"Sure," she finally replied much to Ginta and Hakkaku's relief.

The tense atmosphere dissipated during the second movie. For the first time, they guys finally felt like they could leave Kagome and Kouga alone. Obviously Kouga would know what they are up to but Kagome would not and it was all that mattered. Kouga would not risk saying anything in front of her.

Ginta tapped his left knee twice, which was the signal, and he waited for the others to set the plan in motion. Hakkaku tried to discreetly speed dial Karu's phone. He grinned when it worked and leaned back into his seat and waited.

On cue, Kouga's phone rang.

"Shit," he said as he retrieved it from his pocket. "What?" he answered.

Kagome watched his facial expression transform as he got up from the couch. He disappeared into the kitchen, probably to not disturb them.

She leaned towards Ginta. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm sure it is," he re-assured her.  _Just a fake emergency._

She nodded, not convinced, and returned to her original position. Nobody really payed attention to the movie anymore. Instead, they were waiting for Kouga to come back. When he did return, he seemed in a bad mood.

"I gotta go," he said while shoving his phone back into his pocket.

Hakkaku tried to have his best poker face on. "What happened?"

"Karu called. Apparently some pups got in trouble. I don't fucking know."

His eyes traveled to Kagome. Sitting there. Beside an empty spot. He hated leaving her behind but he had no choice. "I'm real sorry."

"It's okay, don't worry about it."

"We'll go," Ginta, Hakkaku and Kiyo at the same time.

Kouga's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Yeah, you should stay here with Kagome. We can go. We've done it before," clarified Kiyo.

"Easy pie."

"You work so hard all the time 'nyway. Let us handle it."

Kouga barely had a chance to reply that the three of them were on their feet ready to bolt out of the house.

"Oh, I don't want to get in the way."

Ginta tried not to cringe. Having Kagome  _against_ them was certainly not going to help their case. "You're not in the way. You guys barely had a moment together since we found ya! Ya should relax, watch a movie."

Kouga fought the urge to bare his teeth. He knew exactly what they were doing. And this is why he should not have shared how he felt. Obviously he could not mention it in front of Kagome. Also, he did not want to look like he did wish to spend time with her. He could not  _insist_ on leaving or she might take it the wrong way.

He was stuck.

"If it's too much to handle, ya knuckle heads better call." And they won. Although he could hardly see what this would achieve. He would not  _get_  with Kagome simply because the two of them were left alone. How many times would he have to tell them that  _friendship_  was all that was going to happen? He was not going down that road and neither was Kagome.

Stubborn cubs.

They all tried to hide their big grins as they nodded. "Yes, boss!" And then, they left in a gush of wind which tangled Kagome's hair in her face.

Kagome giggled. "They seem really excited about this." She enjoyed that trait of character. It took her back to better times.

 _Oh she had no idea_. "We're a family. Plus, they kinda hate being cooped up in here all the time." Terrible lie - although, they did  _hate_  being inside all the time.

"Oh," she nodded. "Do you still wanna watch the movie?" she inquired while pointing at the TV.

"Sure, if you want to."

"Kind of lost track though," she pointed out with a smile.

"We don't have to watch it though. I mean if you don't wanna."

"I do. Though, we are going to need more popcorn," she said with a laugh.

He took the bowl from her and bowed. "I'll get right on it."

She observed him as he left, her hair disheveled and a smile planted on her face. She was  _happy_  here and it felt like home.  _Home_  was a hard concept to achieve for her even when she was amongst her own family. How did they make it feel so easy? She ran away from the past, from the memories. She thought it was the answer to feeling better, to forgetting all about  _him_ , but this was better. Being immerse in the memories made her feel at peace. Yes, she thought about Inuyasha sometimes but not as much and it did not hurt as badly as before.

Kouga was a big part of the solution. No, he was not the same persistent, clueless wolf but he kept the same kind, generous heart. Despite his relentless attempts at gaining her heart and the fact that he  _used_ to eat humans, he was always very kind. He rescued her on more than one occasions and always sacrificed himself for the good of his pack.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

She glanced up and saw his bright blue eyes piercing into her soul. "You."

He raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"I was thinking about you," she blurred out. That did not seem to help his current state of puzzlement. "About how you used to be."

He groaned. "Let's not think about that alrigh'?"

She laughed. "They were good memories. I was thinking about how you were a good person. Then and now."

"Yeah, I'm sure you didn't find me annoyin' as hell."

"Well, you were a little persistent."

"You were the only woman who ever slapped me. Still are."

"Yeah… sorry about that?"

"Don't be. I deserved it."

"You kinda did."

He stared at her and she stared back. She looked so innocent with those bright eyes and that gorgeous smile. He needed to  _take away_  from this moment. "Popcorn?" he offered as he put the bowl between their faces.

Her smile lessened in width but she took the bowl from him nonetheless. "Thanks."

He watched her settle back into her seat and once she was comfortable he took the remote and pressed play.

He was right, their relationship was perfect just the way it was.

-U-

" _Seriously?!"_

The voice was hushed but it was loud enough to wake up Kouga. He nearly jolted up in a shock as he woke up. He looked around only to find Ginta and Hakkaku inches away from his face. From what he could tell, they were pissed off.

"We leave you alone with Sis and you  _sleep!_ "

Sleep? He turned his head and noticed that Kagome was in a deep sleep with her head resting upon his shoulder. When did they fall asleep?

"Shut up before you wake her," Kouga replied with serious eyes. "And I told ya we were  _friends_. I don't know why you two idiots decided to bail on us."

"You were supposed to get closer to her!"

"This is as close as we're gonna get," he hushed while a growl rumbled through his chest.

That was  _his_  mistake. The vibration caused Kagome to stir in her sleep. She cringed, she frowned, and then she buried her head in his chest. "Kouga?" she croaked out.

He wanted to glare at the guys but really, it was his own fault if she woke up; he should not have growled. "We fell asleep," he pointed out.

She nodded, not seeming to register the words he spoke. "My back hurts."

"Come on, I'll bring you to a bed."

He thought that meant he would help her up. Apparently, Kagome had something entirely different in mind. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held on tight. She was expecting him to  _carry_  her. At first he froze, not knowing what to do or even where to put his hands. However, after a few seconds went by, he recovered. This reminded him  _too much_  of their little camping trip and it made it very hard for him to be comfortable. He did learn one thing; she was a snuggler.

He could feel Ginta and Hakkaku staring at him while he slid his arms beneath her knees and lifted her up. " _Don't say a word,_ " he warned.

They listened though that did not mean they did not have big smirks plastered all over their faces.

Kagome was light and he was strong which meant it was extremely easy to carry her up the stairs. At first he thought about putting her in one of the guest bedrooms but changed his mind. She was slightly out of it at the moment and he did not want her to be confused once she would wake up. His bedroom was the best place for her; she had already been there and would recognize it. Of course, it would be hell for him. He would have to wash his sheets again and he doubted it would even get her scent off…it would be imprinted all over the place.

He wriggled his hand free to turn the handle and then kicked the door open with his foot. He glanced down at her only to see she was peacefully sleeping against his chest. She  _trusted_  him and that made him happy. She felt safe enough to be completely vulnerable around him.  _And he almost abused that trust a few times_. To be fair though, he did not expect her to be so friendly and grabby and often was too shocked to do anything. It was not entirely  _his_  fault.

Kouga hurried to the bed and laid her down above the blanket. It was sort of warm and he figured if she was cold she would go under the blankets by herself. He expected her to go limb and release her hold around his neck but she did not. Instead, her arms remained locked and her face was still in the crook of his neck. He grabbed her elbows and tried to tug a little but she did not bulge.

"Kagome," he whispered. He did not wish to wake her up but they could not remain in this position; he would not  _hover_  over her all night.

He tried again but louder this time. " _Kagome_."

This time, she reacted but not the way he expected.

"No."

"No?" he inquired, half amused with a grin on his face.

"No," she repeated.

"You don't wanna let go?"

"Don't go," she mumbled.

 _Oh_.

How in the world was he supposed to leave  _now_? Then again, he could not exactly stay…

She kept snuggling her face in his neck, her nose brushing against his ear. He already knew her scent too well, he did not need it rubbed all over his skin. Though it looked as though she was not about to let go any time soon. Perhaps he could stay, just for a little while; she would eventually let go. One heavy sigh later, he found himself laying down beside her. She seemed to appreciate since she snuggled closer. Since he had no idea  _what to do_  with his arms he awkwardly rested them around her.

This was the camping trip all over again.

Except this time, she was simply exhausted. Did she not sleep at home? He could not remember ever being so out of it. Then again, she was human and he was a youkai. Still. He could swear they woke her up a few times by going to her house too early. She slept well during the camping trip did she not? Was something bothering her and keeping her up? It was not really any of his business…and if she wanted to share she would have but… he was concerned.

Now he wanted to make sure she got some rest.

Even if that meant he had to painfully lay there all night. Wide awake.

Ginta and Hakkaku would have so much fun right now if they could see this scene. This was pretty much what they wanted to happen. He did too…before. It was so hard with Kagome; she was different. Nobody stood up to him the way she did, nobody was a kind as her…nobody was as beautiful. She was unique. A human miko who traveled through time. He was never going to meet someone like her again.

And then, she surprised him again.

He felt her fingers venture into his hair. She was gently massaging his scalp with her fingertips and he unconsciously found himself leaning into her touch. He could feel the happiness coming from her. It almost made him wonder if she was dreaming and if so, what was she dreaming about? She probably was not dreaming about playing with his hair, though he would be lying if he said he did not enjoy it. He rarely let people touch or play with his hair. She was different.  _Again_.

"Koug-a?"

Oh. This one… sounded different. He looked down and saw her half-opened eyes.

"Yeah?" he replied, his warm breath tickling her face. When did her face get so close to his?

"W-what are you doing here?" she asked in a daze.

"Ya fell asleep during the movie."

She nodded. "I don't sleep well."

"Oh?"

"It's comfortable here."

Her answer was rather interesting. She was comfortable around him, around them? He would take that as a compliment. Although part of him wondered if the reason  _why_  she did not like to sleep alone in her house was because… because of the dog. She had to miss him, he was sure of that. After all, it had not been that long for her.

And this was the exact reason why this would remain a friendship and nothing more. There was nothing but heartbreaks from him down that road. This was much better.

"You're always welcome here."

"Thank you." She said it so quietly that if it was not for his good hearing, he would have missed it.

She put her head back into the crook of his neck and moved her hands up so that they were resting against his chest. Perhaps tomorrow she would think the whole conversation was a dream and maybe it was better that way. Plus, by the time she would wake up, he would be gone. He did not intend on spending the night by her side. As soon as she stopped using him as a human pillow, he was going to leave.

If only he knew  _when_.

He had a feeling he would have to get comfortable because it might be a while. She was quite grabby in her sleep, not that he was ever going to tell her that. It surprised him that she had absolutely no memories of the  _few_  moments they had. She truly was a deep sleeper. Man, moments like these were bad; he had too much time to think.

Kouga suddenly felt her tiny hands clutch around his shirt. He looked down and saw her slowly opening her eyes. He did not move and he did not say a word; how the hell was he going to explain this to her?! Although it was not his fault. She never really gave him a choice in the matter.

Kagome tugged on whatever she was holding while she stretched her head back. Kouga. Wait.  _Kouga_? She rapidly backed away which turned out to be a bad idea. Because of the speed of her actions she nearly rolled off the bed. Luckily for her, Kouga was there to stop her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back up onto the bed… into an even more awkward position.

While he laid on the bed, she laid on top of him. Her hands were on his shoulders and her face was extremely close to his - too close. "Thanks," she whispered.

He did his best to keep a straight face as he put her down beside him. "Ya alright?" he asked as he sat down; sitting was a much better idea than laying it seemed.

"Ye-eah thanks."

"Sorry about - did I?"

"Ya were asleep," he quickly explained. "I tried to bring you up here but ya wouldn't let go." He prayed she would no think he was making this up. Why did the truth have to sound so awkward?

"Oh." That did sound like her. Plus, she knew Kouga was not the type to take advantage of people. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine." He scratched the back of his head. "Listen, you alright?"

She tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

Crap. He should not be talking to her about this. On the other hand, if he did not, it would bother him. "Ya said some stuff while you slept… I just… I didn't mean to listen… I just…You said you didn't sleep well."

She immediately looked away and glanced down at her hands. "Sometimes," she finally admitted.

Kagome never spoke about this with anyone; nobody would understand. Maybe…maybe Kouga could. It was worth a shot although if this conversation went by, she would not feel comfortable around him anymore and then their relationship would not be the same and she would lose her safe place.

"It's been hard after the jewel. It took me to this dark place and it said I was going to be alone forever in this emptiness. I thought that once I would get rid of it…that my life would go back to normal. It sort of did; it went back to my  _old_  life. In the end, the jewel was right; I was alone. It took me away from everything that was familiar. This world was not mine anymore. Now, I just - I don't know what to do."

She felt the tears forming in her eyes and she took a pause to prevent them from falling down her cheeks. "My friends… Inuyasha. They were all gone forever. Sleeping, getting up,  _doing stuff_  was hard. But then, I found you again. Suddenly, it became easier to go outside, laugh, be with people. My home doesn't feel like home, but this place does."

Kagome finally raised her head to look at him. He found himself speechless for a second; he did not expect her to share with him, he almost thought she was going to say that it was none of his business.

He covered her hands with his and squeezed it. "Ya always welcomed here. It's your home. Your pack; whatever is our home is your home too."

"Is it okay if I sleep here?"

"We already invited you," he said with a smirk.

They did. They always invited her, they always looked out for her.

There was one more thing she wanted to ask him but it was a bit strange and she was not sure it was appropriate to ask. It was better to keep her mouth shut right? Yeah, it was. Though… they were like family right? They were pack. Those were his words.

"Could- could you stay here?"

He did not mean to look surprise but he did.

"I know it's weird, I just, I think I'd sleep better." If she could die right now or be swallowed whole by the floor, she would like it.

"I don't mind," he finally answered.

"Thank you."

She laid back on her side and closed her eyes. She felt him shift and probably take the same position as her. This time, there was more distance between them then when she initially woke up.

Now she felt safe, now she could sleep.

As Kouga listened to her breathing steady, he felt a new feeling rise in his chest; pride.

He made her feel safe.

Sleeping in his own bed was going to be next to impossible now but it did not matter because…

He made Kagome feel safe.

-U-


	8. Friends with Dates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I didn't mean for this update to take so long, I was trying to plan where I was heading with the story. Also, thank you guys for the amazing reviews and support. I swear I'm doing my best.
> 
> THANK YOU for nominating Unforeseen at the Feudal Association. It was an unexpected surprise! Thank you!
> 
> This was not beta. I'm sorry. I barely re-read it... because I work long hours - and night shifts now - and I'm tired.

" _If ya'll don't stop staring at me like that, I'm gonna punch you."_

Everyone took a step back but nobody stopped staring which caused Kouga to sigh. This little routine  _had_  to stop. Ever since Kagome's little sleep over two days ago, they kept  _staring_  at him. They all knew they slept in the same bed and if they were smart they would know nothing happen. They had good ears and good noses. They knew it all remained in the boundaries of friendship. Granted the fact that Kagome felt safe around him made his heart race but it did not mean anything.  _Friends. Friends_.

"Nothing happened."

"We know."

What was strange was that they heard Kagome say she felt safe and she  _wanted_  Kouga to stay and yet… she had not stop by ever since. Did their pack leader do something they missed? If she enjoyed Kouga's presence so much why had she not slept over again?

"When is Sis coming by?"

"I don't know." She had a life of her own. She did not need to come over all the time. Sure, a phone call, a visit; those were nice but she did not  _have_  to give news.

"Mayb-"

"We're gonna leave her alone. If she wants to be here, she'll come here."

He was way too exhausted to deal with all of this. When she was around, he did not sleep…when she was not around he did not sleep either. Either it was her presence or it was her scent. Even if he washed everything, the memories were too strong. He was a strong youkai and required only a minimum amount of rest but  _kami_  it had been a while. Everything was starting to get on his nerves and he was cranky; he did not want to be cranky. Although, the guys kind of deserved it with their insatiable pursuit of an imaginary love story.

Still, that night would be in his memories forever.

_After telling him that she was safe with him, she instantly fell asleep. He listened to her breathing, he listened to heartbeat. He would keep her safe. He would do anything to chase away the bad thoughts that kept her up at night. If his presence by her side was the solution then so be it. He would be there as often as she would allowed him. It did break his heart thought to think that she was so sad. He always thought Inuyasha was bad for her, that he would hurt her. In a way, he was. Kouga was no fool; he knew it was the memories of him that kept her so unhappy and the worst part was, there was nothing he could do about it._

_Her wounds had to heal on their own._

_Considering the fact that it was five hundred years later and he was still not over her meant things did not look good for her. Hopefully, she would learn to let go. He could not bear to know she was in pain._

_He was pulled out of his thoughts when Kagome mumbled. Since he could not make out her words, he leaned in closer and tried to listen. He did not expect what happened next. She turned around and snuggled against his chest. Perhaps he should have seen it coming. She loved being near him when she was asleep; not that he was complaining. Though now that he had time to think about it he wondered if it was his presence she sought or simply the warmth of his body. She felt good_.

_Perhaps she was in the middle of a dream and her aura sought his for comfort. He would happily provide it._

_He rested his head on top of hers and wrapped his arms around her tiny body. This house might feel like home to her but_ this _felt like home to him._

 _He always knew_.

Every single time they spent time together, he realized how screwed he was. He did not even know how he was stupid enough to think he would be over her one day. There was no getting over Kagome. This was it for him.

"What if something happened to Sis?"

"We would know." He put his fork down. "Don't y'all gotta do something else today than bother me with stupid questions?"

"We're tryin' to look out for you and Sis."

"I know." He sighed; might as well admit it. "I miss her too but I ain't gonna force her to come here if she don't wanna."

They  _knew_  it bothered him, they could see it. It was about damn time that he admitted it. "Something must be keeping her busy."

On the other side of town, the sun shun brightly through Kagome's room. She never even bothered to close the curtains; what was the point? It was not as though she was going to get any rest. She gave up on that. Her nights were always rocky but since  _Kouga_ , it was worst. The movie night did it for her.  _Oh kami,_  she could still not believe everything she told him. She did not know why but sharing with him came so naturally and now she was embarrassed. Though everything she said was the truth. When she was there, she slept great.

Now though, all of that ruined her. How was she supposed to sleep alone?

Her family was composed of regular people; their auras did not have a pulse. She found herself seeking one during the night and obviously she never found one. This was bad; in a way, she regretted sleeping there. After all, now she was more screwed than before! She was not going to spend every nights at Kouga's apartment.

There was also the fact that she was extremely embarrassed: she asked Kouga to stay! It felt right at the time but now she felt stupid for asking him such a thing. The worst part was that he agreed. Of course he did; he probably did not have the heart to tell her no. She would not do that again.

Now there was only one question left: did she act as usual so it would not look suspicious or should she let a couple days go by before she swung by their house again? No it was best to act like it was not weird.

And it was not.

Kouga acted perfectly fine the next morning did he not? He even offered her breakfast - which she politely denied.

And then he drove her mind. Yes this was all in her head. She should not have spent night and nights dwelling and tossing. Plus it was normal for him to wait a few days before showing up on her door step again.

If he wanted to see her, he would let her know. Until then she had many more sleepless nights ahead of her.

-U-

Eight days ago.

That was the last time he saw Kagome. At first he thought she might be busy. After all she had a life outside of him. But eight days? He had grown accustomed to having her in his life again and this was strange. He dared to admit he missed her but he did not want to push her. Maybe she did not like the night she spent there and she became uncomfortable in his presence.

It would be strange to go see her without warning would it not?

No, it was much better to wait for her.

Though all this waiting was beginning to drive him crazy. And it even made him worried. And  _fuck_  he could not sleep. He needed sleep. Even a sleepless sleep with her way too close was better than what he was currently having. Nightmares…or dreams…they tended to be the same at the moment. He dreamt about her which should have been a good dream but instead it was torture.

Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his hair. He hated it when he had to be the one who made such decisions. Especially when it came to Kagome. Kami knew he already made enough mistakes with her. Perhaps he could innocently swing by? For what reason though?  _The roof!_  He could check up on the work they did. He did not even need to talk to Kagome. He could pretend he was going to see Miyu. He would not even mention Kagome's name. Yes, it would be perfect that way.

He nervously glanced at himself in the mirror. He tried to re-do his ponytail and then fixed his shirt. He could not look  _too_  prepared and  _kami_ he felt like a fucking teenager and he hated it. After one last sigh, he walked out of the house and went straight for his car. He could feel how moist his hands were as he put them on the wheel. He was  _the leader_  of one of the oldest ookami youkai pack there was! He had no reason to be nervous! And it was  _Kagome_. Who made people more comfortable than her? She stopped to help him when she thought he was nothing more than a goddamn wolf. Who did that?  _Her_.

She was different, she was special.

And hopefully she would not think he was annoying.

The drive to her house seemed like it took an eternity. Though he was not sure he was exactly  _relieved_  when he got there. He felt the pressure of his heart racing in his rib cage. It was good thing she did not have his good hearing or he would be embarrassed. For the first time, he took his time as he went up the million of steps that separated him from the shrine; he was in no rush to get there. Hopefully he had a good enough poker face.

Luckily - or unfortunately - for him, Miyu was outside when he got to the top of the stairs. Once she saw him, she smiled. "Morning Kouga!" she greeted with her usual chirpiness.

"Morning Mrs. Higurashi," he politely replied.

"Are you here to see Kagome? I can go get her for you." She was wondering when he would be back. If almost felt strange to have her daughter in the house all the time again. She got used to seeing her happy and smiling. The wolves were good to her and it showed. Now though, she rarely left her bedroom.

He scrounged. "Hm, No, that's alright. I came here to talk to you actually."

"Me?"

He nodded. "I wanted to know if everything was okay with the roof? Since we did the repairs and all," he nervously explained.

Miyu raised an eyebrow. "You came here to ask about the roof? You could have use the phone instead of going through all the trouble."

Kouga was not sure if she was sincere or taunting him. Did she see right through him? He hoped not. He did not want to look like he was  _that guy_ again. "Well, I wanted to be there in case something needed fixing. Plus, it takes two minutes to get here."

"That's very kind of you," she offered. "But, no you did an excellent job. Everything is perfect.  _Thank you so much_  again."

"No problem," he said before raising a hand to rub the back of his neck. That was it? That was as far as his plan went. Except, he had not even see Kagome yet! What was he supposed to do now? He already told her he did not want to talk to Kagome…it would be weird if he asked to see her now.

"Are you hungry?"

"Uh." He did not know what to reply. On one hand he did not want to impose but it would give him a reason to see Kagome…or at least to wait around. "No thank you," he finally settled on answering.

"A glass of water?"

Either she was being extremely nice or she was trying to help him.

"Mm, if you don't mind." Clearly he was meant to stay here a little longer or she would not have offered him so many things, right?  _Great_  now he was seeing signs where there was none.

"Follow me," she said with a grin.

 _The poor boy_. He almost looked terrified. It was obvious to her that he was looking for a reason to linger. She tried to offer him a few but he did not seem convinced. She was doing it both for him and her daughter. Kagome spoke highly of him and it was clear that he was a great friend to her. Kagome could use more people like him in her life. Especially after she lost all of childhood friends. She did not want to mingle in Kagome's life but she would help her as she could. This was one way to do it.

Once the got inside, she poured him a glass of water and handed it to him.

"Thank you."

"Sit down," she said as she gestured the table. "I'll be right back." And then, she disappeared upstairs.

Kouga took her up on her offer and sat in the nearest chair. It was strange but this place almost felt familiar. He had only been there three times but…it had her scent all of it. He was so familiar with her that it gave her house a feeling of  _home_. She was comfortable around  _his_  house and he was comfortable in hers. He liked that. Also, it was weird to see all the interactions her family had. He never had anything like that. Not only because he was a youkai but because he lost his  _family_  - at least his mother and father.

 _Her father_. He never saw him and he guessed there was only one explanation for that. He was not going to talk to her about it.

"Where did you put it?"

 _He knew that voice_ ; it was Kagome's. He froze, his hand clutching the glass of water - his grip was almost too tight, almost shattering did he miss her aura?

Unknowingly, Kagome was about to ask the same question. She did not turn her head until she reached the last step. That was when she saw him. Kouga. In her kitchen. How… what? Her mother did not even warn her of his presence!

He stared.

She stared.

It was silence.

Then she broke it.

"Hey."

"Hey."

She swallowed.

"I haven't seen you in a while."

"Been busy. Thought you might be too." He hoped she was. He hoped this was not her way to tell him to get lost. No, friends did not tell friends to get lost right?

"A little." If being cooped up in her room all day long counted as being busy… God, she was a terrible liar.

She joined him at the table and smiled. If he was here it meant he did went to see her again. That had to be a good thing right? She shook her head; it was. She had to stop being so pessimistic all the time.

"I'm glad you came by," she said truthfully.

Relief washed over him as she spoke. He could not believe he almost had himself convinced that Kagome did not want to see him anymore.

"If I hadn't stopped by, I'm pretty sure the guys would have come barging in here. They missed ya too."  _And they kept asking about a second movie night_. Though they  _missed_  the first one. He was not about to let them set up anymore little plans.

"Kouga, are you busy tonight?"

Miyu's question surprised him, especially since he forgot she was even there. He cleared his throat. "Hm, yes, Mrs. Higurashi. I am." There was no reason for him to be nervous around her and yet he was.

"I told Kagome we should all go eat at that new place that opened up but I can't go anymore."

 _Oh_  boy, she knew where this was heading. "How come?" Kagome asked, her smile never faltering.  _Gotta keep a straight face_.

"Your brother has an extra practice," Miyu answered before looking at Kouga again. "But you two should go! I had already made reservations!"

Kouga would say yes in a heartbeat. He was not sure the same could be said about Kagome. Although -  _wait_. A restaurant? The two of them? Alone. Was that really the best setting? Suddenly, he felt a nervousness fill him and his guts were doing flip-flops. It would not be a  _date_  or anything. He was letting his emotions get the best of him. Plus, he really enjoyed spending time with her and he missed her like crazy. This could be fun.

"I'm in, if ya are," he said before looking straight into her eyes.

At least she could firmly confirm that he felt no awkwardness towards her. Plus, they had a lot of fun when they were together. "Sure."

"Great," Miyu said with a smile. "Reservations are at 6 o'clock!"

Dinner. With Kagome. He could do that.

Right?

-B-

"You  _could_  pick her up ya know!"

Kouga closed his eyes before sighing. Ginta and Hakkaku spent the day hovering over his shoulder. He knew it was a mistake to tell them. Then again, it might have been worst if he had tried to sneak out.  _Then_  they would have known something was up  _for sure_. Still, he could have done without them pestering him and giving him advices he did not ask for.  _This was not a date_.

"I offered. She said that I didn't need to trouble myself with that."

"But ya should still do it. Get there early and pick her up. She would like that."

She  _would_  notice it but…damn it. Were they right? Should he do that?  _This_  was the reason why he did not need anyone around while he was getting ready. They were putting ideas in his mind - ideas that did not belong there. Despite all that, he might take up that  _one_  suggestion. He was a gentleman after all. Perhaps he had that whole primitive cavemen going back then but he still had his moments. Now, he was a grown man and he was more  _delicate_  with women.

He certainly did not slug them over his shoulder anymore. Kouga chuckled at the memory.  _Oh way and the slap_.

"What?"

"What what?"

"Why are you laughing?"

"No reason! Why don't you two mind your own business."

"We would if ya had any idea how to act on a date."

"It ain't a date."

Ginta rolled his eyes.  _"Whatever you say._ "

"Does she know that?" added Hakkaku.

 _Of course she did,_  was what he wanted to answer but in all honesty he did not know. He doubted Kagome would agree to go on a date with him but she might have thought this was him asking her out. Maybe she did not want to be rude. Maybe she liked the pack, this new home too much to give it up. No. No, that would not be the kind of thing Kagome did. She was kind and honest. She always let him down truthfully in the past and it would be no different now.

 _She knew_. "She does."

He did the last button of his shirt before straightening it. Then, he looked at his watch; 5:35.  _Maybe he should pick her up_. Damn it. He would. If not, he would feel bad now. Hopefully she would not mind that he went against that they decided. Plus, it was silly to take two cars just to go to the same place.

"I'm leavin'."

"Have  _fun._ "

Kouga resisted the urge to roll his eyes and kept going. He calmly drove all the way to Kagome's house. He only began feeling stressed as he went up all the steps. Nonetheless, he kept a straight face as he reached the door and knocked on the door.  _And he waited - and waited_. He tried knocking again.

This time, he was given a reply. " _Coming!_ " he heard shouting from the top of the stairs.

He heard her as she tumbled down the stairs and came to a  _squeaking_  halt in front of the door. She rapidly opened it and quickly looked surprise. "K-kouga?"

"Hey," he said a bit uncomfortably. "I know we said we'd both go separately but - I thought this would be more convenient. If you don't mind."

She blinked.  _Oh_. "No. No, no. Come in."

Kagome agreed that it made more sense to go together but… he did so much for her and she did not want to bother him with more. It did not take that long in bus and she always took the bus or the subway so she was used to it. But, he rarely did not seem to mind since he was here; they would be no harm in accepting the ride.

"I'll be ready in a minute," she said as she headed back towards the stairs. "Make yourself at home."

He watched her blue dress bounce up and down as she went up the stairs. Once she was out of his sight, he went and sat down on the couch. Quickly, her cat joined him. Actually it was mostly  _staring_  at him. Kouga frowned; that was one thing him and dogs shared in common. They did not like cats. It seemed the feeling was mutual because the giant ball of fur was hissing at him. Kouga leaned forward and growled. The cat hissed louder before jumping off the couch. Kouga smirked with pride;  _he_  was the alpha. Stupid cat.

Kouga peeked down at his attired. He had a black shirt on and a pair of jeans. It was casual… casual was good right? Kagome was wearing a dress. Was that her version of casual? Did he not dress enough for that place? He did not want to embarrass her.  _Shit_.

"Ready."

Her long hair was cascading down her shoulders, her blue eyes shining and she had on a pair of high heels. Did he ever see  _Kagome_  in heels before? Of course not. She did not wear those in the Feudal Era and… they mostly went camping and whatnot ever since he found her again. No, he never saw Kagome dressed up before and she was  _breathtaking_.

"You look beautiful," he honestly said.

She quickly blushed. "Oh - thank you."

He opened the door for her, hoping that her embarrassment would lessen, and let her pass first. He closed the door behind himself and she locked it. She quietly followed him to the car and sat down.

"Thanks for coming."

"I thought it would be nice. The pack - we like loud events, in groups. It can get a little crowded." And some of them were really  _pushy_. At least there would be no pressure at the restaurant. They could have a nice evening between friends.

"I hope Ginta and Hakkaku weren't too sad we left them behind."

"Don't worry," he said with a laugh.  _If she only knew how happy they were about not coming_. They would have declined the invitation even if they were invited. "They get the place all to themselves."

"How's work?" she asked, continuing the small talk. Anything not to talk about serious issues. Like what she shared with him that night. She knew it did not mean but it did not mean she was not ashamed. It had been a while; how does one not get over that? It was dark, it was mortifying but it was over now. She was not stuck in the darkness anymore; she came out through the other side. Not the side she had opted for, but still.

"Good. We got a few jobs." Enough to keep them going. He never worried about work; they learned to be very sufficient and versatile throughout the years.

"I'm thinking about getting a job or going back to school." Spending her days doing nothing was not working for her anymore. She needed to distract herself and do something with her life. Wallowing in self pity and memories of the past was not going to give her a future. Seeing Kouga and his pack inspired her. If they could live through all those years and come out on top, how could she not?

"I could call a few people. Maybe I could find you something." He had a lot of connections.

"Oh, you don't have to."

"My pleasure," he said before flashing a pearly white teeth grin.

And she gave in. "Thank you."

"I'll always be there for ya Kagome. I told ya."

"I know."

Promises were so temporary that some days she lost faith in them. Though Kouga always stuck to his words - or almost. He did give up on the idea of making her his woman. Though that was a good thing. Because Kouga and her - it would not have worked. It would not work. In the past it did not work because…she was in love with Inuyasha and come on he  _claimed_  her like an animal. Technically he sort of was but that was beside the point. And now well, now… now he was a very nice guy who was always there for her.

As a friend.

Because that was what they were.  _Friends_.

And she could not find anything wrong with him. Why could she not find anything wrong with him?

"Are you okay?"

He heard her heart raced. He tried to find a reason for the sudden change but he could not. Did she see something he missed?

"Yeah, sorry. I was just - thinking about  _stuff_." You - she was thinking about him.

The fact that she did not find anything wrong with him did not mean anything. She never considered him as a potential suitor for a reason. Friendship was what suited them best and it would remain that way. Frankly, she could hardly picture herself in a relationship with Kouga. Actually, she could hardly picture herself in a relationship with anyone.

Kagome was glad when they arrived at the restaurant. Fortunately, they were rapidly seated and given menus.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"I'm not old enough."

 _Oh._  He forgot about that. He even gave her drinks at his place - and when they went camping. In his mind he had known her for five hundred years. He forgot just how young she was - and how much she went through for someone her age.

"I forgot," he said with a tiny smirk.

"You forgot how old you were or you forgot how young I was?"

He teasingly glared at her. "Don't push your luck, miko."

"I could take you."

"Really? Because if memory serves me right, I saved your ass a few times."

"I'm oblivious to danger. That's all."

"So I've noticed," he added with a laugh.

Kagome could not help the bubbly feeling that filled her.  _This was it_. The feeling she was looking for, the one that made her feel  _whole_. This was why she needed her friendship with Kouga. He could make her life even when they talked about the past. It did not feel like a painful time but instead a nice memory.

He gave her a chance to forget the bad.

-U-

The dinner went by great and many laughs were shared. It was much later than Kagome anticipated when they returned to the car but she did not mind. Kouga even opened the car's door for her. The evening reminded her that she should not be too embarrassed to go over and spend some time with him and others. They were having such a nice time that instead of going straight home they decided to take a little drive. She even teased Kouga about how much  _slower_  he was now - and that he was probably too old to keep running around.

As Kagome noticed the time flying by, she wondered; could she ask the unthinkable? She pinched her lips together and stared at Kouga who was still laughing. "I was wondering - do you think it would be okay for me to sleep over?"

She was  _so_  exhausted and really this was much more comfortable than she ever expected. "I mean, I'd get the see the guys too."

He felt so relieved that she asked that he immediately noted. "I told ya, you don't need to ask. It's your home too. Though you might wanna tell your mom first." Miyu liked him and he wanted to keep it that way.

Kagome smiled. "I'd need to pick up some stuff anyway, so I'd tell her then."

"Do you wanna go now?" he asked as he slowed down the car a bit. "We can turn around and go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup," he said while doing a u-turn. "I mean, I don't wanna go too late. Don't wanna make your mom mad."

Kagome bursted out laughing. "You do not know my mother. It takes a lot to make her mad."

"More reason not to piss her off," he said with a smirk as he began heading towards the shrine. "We could watch a movie if ya want." Or finish the one they never really watched because they ended up spending the night in his bed. In a totally friendly way.

Maybe he should give up his bedroom permanently and give it to her? He would not actually tell her that but he could do it. At least her scent would not be all over it and he would be able to catch a few hours of sleep at night. Even he was getting pretty tired and she looked like she could use some rest as well. The dark circles beneath her eyes appeared worst than the last time he saw her.

"That'd be fun."

They quickly arrived at her house and he waited in the car while she ran inside. Having her sleep over was a good idea; this way the guys would not have a chance to ask him about the evening. Sure, they might drop a few hints along the night but nothing too obvious since Kagome was there. After a few minutes, she returned, slightly jogging and carrying a bag in her hands. She smiled brightly and he could not help but grin back at her.

"All set. Sorry it took so long." It was usually easy to go over to his house; she never planned to spend the night before. It always just sort of happened. Now, she actually had to bring all her things and think about it. This was their first official sleep over.

He started the car and they were on their way. They arrived quickly and noticed Ginta and Hakkaku were outside with two other wolves. Why was Kouga not surprised? They had look of profound confusion when they saw Kagome get out of the car. However, those expressions quickly transformed into grins; they were getting the  _wrong_  idea.

"Hey Sis," Ginta said as he walked up to her. "Need help with your bag?"

"It's okay, it's pretty light," she replied with a smile.

"Spending the night?"

"Yeah, Kouga thought we could watch movies."

"Movies again huh? Last time was pretty fun."

Kagome arched an eyebrow. "You guys had to leave before the end though."

Kouga wanted to scoff;  _had_  to leave. Yeah right, if by that she meant that they orchestrated an escape. "Well, there is no problem on the horizon tonight and they looked all rest up. I'm sure they'll join us."

The tone of his voice was letting them know that they did not really have a choice in the matter.

"I'll go pick the movie," Hakkaku said as he ran inside.

"I'll the popcorn ready," Ginta added as he closely followed him.

Both Kagome and Kouga laughed as they walked inside.

"Where should I put my back?"

"Follow me."

Kouga led her to his bedroom. "In here."

"This is your bedroom," she stated.

"Yeah you can have it for tonight."

"I'm not gonna take your bedroom again." Well, last time she did not really take it. They shared it. However, since it was a bit too embarrassing to say out loud, she did not voice it out.

"It's fine. Ya'll be more comfortable in here."

"Are you sure?"

" _Take it_ ," he said with a grin. "No arguing."

"Fine. Erm, thank you."

"Anytime."

"I mean it," she said as she put her bag down on the ground. "Thank you for tonight, thank you for last time. Thank you for everything."

He walked closer to her and grabbed her by the shoulder. "Kagome, I told ya. I'll always be there for you."

"I know, it just - it means a lot."

She closed the distance between them and hugged him gently. "I'm glad you found me."

At first he remained stiffed but then, he put his arms around her. "Me too."

Caught up in the embrace, caught up in the closeness, he pressed his lips to the top of her head.  _Then he stopped moving_. He felt her shifting in his hold but he did not dare to look down. Was that too familiar? He did not mean it - they were so close and… he meant to comfort her. Nothing more. He felt her eyes on him and he dared to peek down. She did not seem upset.

He decided to play along with it.

He gave her another kiss, this time on the side of her, trying to play it casual. Comfort kisses between friends. Those did not mean anything.

"We should go before they burn the popcorn," he said with a grin before ruffling her hair.

For the first time, he went ahead of her and she stayed behind.

Kagome raised a hand to her head, her face like a blank. Her skin felt like it was on fire.

 _What was that_?

-U-


	9. The Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I don't really have an excuse for the delay. Life, man. It sneaks up on ya and before you know it, months went by. I'm sorry though. And thank you for voting Unforeseen 2nd place best AU at the Feudal Association. Means a lot!
> 
> Not beta and I barely re-read it. I'm trying to catch up on all the lateness I've accumulated. T.T

Kagome was the worst liar.

She learned that during her days of time traveling and recent events confirmed it. She tried to act as normal as possible around Kouga but she was convinced he took notice of her unusual behaviour. It was not her intention to damage their relationship but she could not help it: when he was too close she would get flustered. Part of it was sort of his fault: he kissed her head. Although... her reaction to it was her own fault.

As a matter of fact she could not even explain her reaction. It was not attraction or anything. He was her friend! It was more like... okay. So it was exactly the way she used to react when there was a moment of close proximity between Inuyasha and her. But it did not represent he same thing. Did it? No. She was not interested in Kouga that way. He dis tried - in the past - and she never fell for any of his extremely pushy advances.

Of course she was not the same Kagome and he was not the Kouga but - but there were no but.

Kagome sighed heavily while she let her body drop on her bed. Her heart and her mind were always filled with chaos. Why was it so difficult to know what she wanted?

Actually, it was not difficult to know what she wanted. She wanted a friend, she wanted a friendship. Situations, people; they were what made it all complicated and difficult.

The only good part in all of it was that even if Kouga noticed, he pretended he did not. Things were as normal as always between them. Except she had yet to spend the night again. It was not weird. No, it was not. Friends had sleep overs sometimes. Granted usually they were same sex friends and they were… kids or teenagers but still. Kagome's life was never normal. Strange was her normal. Plus, the wolf pack was like family.

And the fact that she sometimes got flustered around Kouga did not make him… not family. She did not want their relationship to be ruined. Perhaps instead of avoiding the problem she should face it head on? Maybe it they got the awkward out of the way…it would not be awkward anymore? She was not used to close contact with members of the opposite sex. If she just got more comfortable, it would all go away.

She frowned before reaching out for her phone. She clicked on Kouga's name and then she waited. Yes, it was fine. She inhaled deeply and texted him. Movie night?

It did not even take two seconds for her phone to ding. She opened his text and smiled. Thought you'd never ask.

It was not awkward.

She made the right decision.

-U-

Movie night.

Two words. That was all it took to re-assure him. Sometimes he wondered if he was paranoid or simply terrible at reading Kagome. Some days, he felt like she avoided him and put a barrier between them and other times everything was fine. He even thought his little friendly kiss ruined everything. At least she still wanted to sleep over. And she never mentioned it. Though he made sure to never do that again. Sometimes he got too comfortable around her, sometimes he forgot.

When he first fell in love with her five hundred years ago, he did not really know her but it did not make his feelings any less real. And sometimes, sometimes the intense passion he used to feel for her would surge back. Except now he knew better. He knew to keep it locked in, he knew to focus on the friendship part of their relationship. Sometimes… sometimes he wished things were different.

He was going to be in love with Kagome forever.

And that was not a bad thing. If he had to be stuck in love with someone, better it be her. She was an amazing person.

Some days it would be hard but other times it would be worth it.

"Hey boss, what's up?"

Kouga snapped his head up and looked at Ginta. "Kagome's coming over for a movie night."

"Nice!"

"No romantic comedies."

"But they're funny!"

Maybe it was all in his head but he felt like it added an unnecessary tension. Okay, it was obviously all in his head but still. He did not need the added pressure.

"Kagome doesn't even like 'em that much."

"Fine," resigned Hakkaku.

Pouting, Ginta and Hakkaku escaped downstairs and once they made sure nobody was around, they went outside. They needed to get out of Kouga's super hearing range or else they might be in a lot of trouble.

"Did anyone say yes?"

"No," Ginta sighed, "Nobody wants to risk it. Kouga might get pretty mad."

"It wouldn't be for that long..."

"Yeah but I wouldn't wanna piss off Kouga either."

"But if he doesn't do anything he might lose his chance."

Ginta shrugged, a little desperate. "I'd do it but he wouldn't believe it."

"What about Kyro?"

"Kyro?"

"He's a little more of a loner and he's not around often. Maybe he wouldn't mind getting on Kouga's bad side for a little while."

"It's worth a shot. I'll call him up."

Ginta got his phone out of his pocket and walked away from Hakkaku.

It was not as though they wanted to mingle in things that were none of their business... but they hardly had a choice. In the past they supported Kouga's crazy love for Kagome because Kouga was their alpha and they loved Kagome and wanted her to be pack. This time it was a little different. They knew Kagome could make Kouga happy, happier than he had been in a while. Also, they saw the way Kagome acted around Kouga. And every time she was with him she glowed. Kouga made her happy.

They would be crazy not to give it a shot.

Unfortunately, they were both very stubborn. It was why Hakkaku and Ginta had to get involved in the matter. And really - they would not have to do anything. Kagome and Kouga's feelings would come out on their own.

Jealousy was a very powerful thing.

At least, they hoped it was.

-U-

"Why isn't he here yet?"

"I don't know! And sis is already here…"

Ginta and Hakkaku stole glances at Kagome and Kouga. They were both casually sitting on the couch, talking as if nothing was wrong. If Kyro did not arrive soon, their plan was going to fail. The fact that Kouga and Kagome were on friendly terms was a good thing but it was not enough. They would not mingle if this was not important! But they had no choice! Kagome was too shy and sweet to go after what she wanted and Kouga clearly was not going to step over the friendship line - at least not without some help.

Suddenly, a knock on the door made everyone jolt. Grins appeared on Ginta and Hakkaku's faces and they immediately backed away from the living room.

"We'll get that!" they said in unison.

Kouga raised an eyebrow at their weird reaction. Also, he was not aware they were expecting anyone else. Not that he minded. Still, it was highly suspicious.

Meanwhile, Ginta and Hakkaku were scolding Kyro. "What took you so long?" Ginta asked in a hushed tone.

Kyro nervously rubbed the back of his neck, his breath hitched. "I ain't so sure it's a good idea."

Hakkaku groaned. "You can't back out now."

"Kouga might get real mad at me. I don't wanna get my ass whoop over this."

They could not lie; it was a possibility. Hence why everyone else turned them down. Nonetheless, it was important and once everything was done and over with, they would tell Kouga the truth and surely he would understand… right?

"He won't do it with Sis here."

"Yeah, you just gotta lay low for a few days."

"He'll be real grateful afterwards."

They tried to give Kyro their best puppy looks… and it seemed to work. "You guys owe me one," he said as he entered the house.

Ginta and Hakkaku tried to tone down their enthusiasm as they followed him into the living room. Their entrance caused Kagome and Kouga to turn their heads in direction of the group.

"Sis, I don't think you've meant Kyro before," Hakkaku hurried to say.

Kagome smiled as she rose to her feet. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Kagome."

As she looked at him she could not help but notice there was a small resemblance between him and Kouga; dark hair, light eyes. Except Kyro's eyes were a sort of aqua instead of a deep blue like Kouga's.

Kyro retrieved her hand and gently kissed it. "Pleasure is all mine."

At the unexpected gesture, Kagome found herself slightly blushing. She offered him a weak smile before sitting back down on the couch. Unfortunately for her, she was surprised again when Kyro sat right beside. Right beside her. No space. Bodies touching.

If Kyro's first strange gesture had not really caught Kouga's attention, he now had all of his focus. He knew Kyro but he was mostly a loner wolf. He did not hang out with others and did not attend many gatherings. He knew him but he did not really know him. He did know that he was not a fan of Kyro's behaviour towards Kagome. He raised his glance and glared at him. He managed to hold back the growl forming in his chest - but only barely.

He was not allowed to be protective of her - at least not when it came to her love life. He was her friend. Nothing else.

Though that did not mean he was not going to rip out Kyro's hand if it got any closer to Kagome's thigh.

In the corner Ginta and Hakkaku were trying to hold back laughters. They expected a reaction from Kouga but nothing this intense and this early on. At least it confirmed that their plan was a good idea. Now, they just had to let things happen on their own. Hopefully Kyro was a good charmer. It was not that hard to get Kagome to blush - so as long as Kyro kept it up, everything would be perfect.

"Are we gonna start the movie or what?" Kouga asked with a slightly irritated tone.

"Popcorn!" exclaimed Ginta.

"Yes, I'm sure Sis would like some popcorn."

Everyone turned their focus and glanced at Kagome. She began feeling uncomfortable under everyone's eyes. Why was everyone so weird today? And that guy was definitively sitting a little close to her. "Hm, sure?" she finally answered.

"Kouga, you're gonna get it?"

Kouga felt his anger flare inside of him. He breathed heavily throughout his nose and clutched his hand around the couch's arm rest. He was not angry. He was calm. He was relaxed - and he really needed to have a talk with those two. Like now.

"Sure," he said to Kagome with a smile. "And I'm sure Ginta and Hakkaku want to help."

Both wolves gulped before nodding. Kouga did not make it sound like a suggestion; it was an order. They reluctantly followed behind their leaders which left Kagome and Kyro completely alone. Apparently Kouga's rage blinded him to that fact.

As an awkward silence began to settle in, Kagome found herself playing with the hem of her shirt. She did not know what exactly made the situation so uncomfortable but she could not shake the feeling off. Usually she was very at ease around the wolves but… Kyro just had this aura about him. At least Kouga's momentary departure allowed her to scoot away from Kyro. For a moment she thought he was going to close the distance between them again but thankful he did not.

"I don't remember seeing you around before," she finally said.

"I wasn't part of the pack back then."

Ginta and Hakkaku filled him in about Kagome. It was a pretty extraordinary story - it was crazy to think that so much happened to such a ordinary human.

"Oh."

"I was alone and Kouga's pack took me in."

She smiled. "Yeah, they tend to pick up the strays." Even when Kouga pretended he was tough, he had a kind heart. Suddenly, she realized what she said and her eyes bulged. "I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say you were a stray! I was just-"

Her speech was interrupted by Kyro's laugh.

It did not sound anything like she expected. It was light and harmonious and she could not help but join in with a little shy laugh of her own.

"Don't worry about it," he said as he finished laughing. "I know what ya meant." This was going a little easier than he expected. They were right; Kagome was sweet and shy. It would make this whole thing easier. Plus, he did not really have to seduce her, he just had to make it look like she enjoyed his company. He definitively needed to make her laugh a bit more.

Meanwhile, the boys were in the kitchen and Ginta and Hakkaku were about to get a earful.

"Just what the fuck are you trying to pull?" he snarled.

"Nothing," hurried Ginta.

"Nothing at all," added Hakkaku with his best innocent look.

"Don't take me for an idiot." Maybe it could have been innocent but they were too many coincidences. First, they invited someone else without telling him. They opened the door. Kyro stayed beside Kagome despite the fact that he could clearly tell Kouga was not okay with it. Oh yeah and the stupid popcorn excuse. Something was fishy and they were not getting out of the kitchen until he found out what they were planning.

"We swear, we just ran into him earlier and asked him to join us."

"Any reason why he's hitting on Kagome?"

"Maybe he thinks she's pretty."

"Sis is pretty."

"Did you think you would be the only one to notice?"

"Wha- I - well."

Kagome was an amazing woman. Obviously everyone knew that. In the past, everyone she encountered was smitten by her. It was not going to be any different in this era. He always planned that she would meet and date someone. He - just - it was not supposed to be now. Was Kyro's interest genuine? No. But - what if it was? Did he really have a right to interfere? It was Kagome's life and she was free to do as she pleased. But - but he did not like it.

"No. You guys planned this."

"We didn't."

If he did not believe them their plan was going to fail.

"He asked about her!" shouted Ginta. "He asked us to invite him."

Hakkaku resisted the urge to wince. Kyro was going to have a bad time. This was just going to piss off Kouga even more.

Suddenly, their discussion was interrupted by a lovely sound - the sound of Kagome laughing.

Kouga's glance hardened and he dared to peek in the living room. What he saw was not what he wanted; his Kagome laughing, smiling… with someone else. At first he froze and then he quietly listened. Maybe he hallucinated it? Maybe it was all in his head? His questions were rapidly answered when her sweet laugh echoed through the room again and he was forced to admit that Kyro was making Kagome laugh.

Many emotions swirled within him and he pinched his lips together. His stomach churned, his heart squeezed and his throat went dry. How was he supposed to take this? How was he supposed to react? How did they expect him to react? He felt their eyes on them, watching him, waiting for him to make a move. Really, there was nothing he could do. Kagome was not his and if - if it made her happy - well then… He was happy.

"If Kagome doesn't mind him, I don't care."

He finally released the breath he had been holding back and exited the kitchen. His steps were quiet and slow as he went back into the living room. He barely glanced at Kagome and Kyro as he sat back down beside Kagome.

Kagome was all smile as she looked at him. "No popcorn?"

The popcorn. He forgot about that stupid popcorn. "The guys are getting it," he said slightly loud so that Ginta and Hakkaku could hear him. He did not feel like explaining to Kagome why he did not bring the popcorn.

"Oh." Her smile soon faded as she observed his face. She brought a hand to his shoulder and squeezed. "You alright?"

He did not dare turn his head because he had no desire to look into her eyes. He did not want to see the concern in them. Kouga was not very talented when it came to lying to her and he did not want to anyway.

"Yeah, just tired. Lot happening lately."

He might be able to fool Kagome but he was not fooling Kyro. Not only did he know the plan was working but his leader was also a very bad liar. How could Kagome not see it? It did not matter. All he knew was that he had to keep going with this. Though he hoped Kouga was not going to lose his cool. Kagome was a nice girl and he was willing to help but he was not about to get into a fight with Kouga. Kyro was strong but not as strong as him.

"So you were telling me about your brother?"

Kagome arched an eyebrow at Kyro's interruption. Could he not see that she was having a conversation? Kouga was a friend and she could tell something was off. Kyro seemed fine but now she found him a bit pushy. She inhaled deeply, not wanting to be rude. "It'll be a story for another time," she said as she leaned into the couch and leaned her shoulder against Kouga's.

As the boys walked back into the living room they realized there was one flaw in their plan after all. They were only thinking about Kouga. In their mind, if Kyro did a good enough job, Kagome would fall for it… but they forgot what kind of person Kagome was. She was loyal and true to her feelings. She could not be easily swayed. They looked at each other and shrugged.

At least they managed to get a reaction out of Kouga.

Perhaps it would make him act on his feelings before it was too late for real.

-U-

The evening went better than Kouga expected. Especially when Kyro left not too long after the movie; he was afraid he would choose to linger around. All that left to do was check up on Kagome and get her thoughts on the newcomer.

"Sorry about Kyro."

Kagome laughed. "It's fine, he was nice." It was not as if he was a bad guy. The rest of the evening was great and as per usual she had a good time. Plus, somewhere along the way Kyro became a little less pushy. It all worked out.

"Yeah." Nice. That was one way to put it.

He resisted the urge to groan; he had nothing against Kyro. He had to stop with the whole jealousy thing. He did that to her before and he was convinced it never helped his case. Being jealous of Inuyasha never got him anywhere and being jealous of Kyro would not help either. Kagome was a big girl and she could make her own decisions. Even if those decisions displeased him.

"You don't seem to like him," she said with a small smile creeping up her lips.

"I don't have anything against him. He's more of a loner, that's all. We don't see him often."

"Did something happen to him?"

Kouga shrugged. "Probably. A lot of shit happened to a lot of people." He rubbed the back his neck, feeling slightly awkward. He did not want to share all of that with her. Kagome was different, she was kind and loving. She was not like the other humans. "For a while there… it was not easy being what we are."

He did not need to say more for her to understand. It was not the first time they talked about how hard the whole transition was but it was the first time she felt his pain. The tone of his voice was enough to bring her chills. She could feel her heart squeeze as she imagined a dozen scenarios in her mind. As much as she hated to admit it, she knew how cruel humans could be.

She did her best to put her biggest, brightest smile on her face and she gently squeezed his arms. "I'm glad all of you made it out okay."

"Had to," he said with a grin. "If I hadn't made it this far who would have protected you from approaching wild wolves?"

She joined him in his laugh. "I knew it was safe."

And he believed her because Kagome had great instincts.

"I know. The same way you knew I could change." He was ashamed of his past but he could not changed it. All he could do was move forward and make sure he was a better person than before.

"Things were different and complicated." His world was not her world. She could not say that she enjoyed the fact that he used to eat humans but she was well aware that the situation was more complicated than that.

Suddenly, their conversation was interrupted by the sound of Kouga's phone ringing. "Shit," he apologized as he retrieved it from his pocket and leaned away from her.

Kagome watched his facial features change as he listened to whomever was speaking to him. It was probably bad news.

"I'm on my way," he replied before ending the call. "Kagome, shit I'm sorry." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Something came up. Do ya want me to drop you home… or do ya…wanna wait here?"

It should not take too long and frankly, he missed her and he did not want her to go home just yet.

"I'll wait, you go."

"Ya sure?"

"Go," she said with a smile as she pushed him in direction of the door.

"I'll be back quick."

"Hope everything is okay," she said as he zoomed through the door.

As she watched him go, she began to feel slightly guilty. He was always checking up on her, making sure she was okay and she was not returning the favour. She forgot about all of his responsibilities and how he had to look out for everyone. It had to be extremely stressful. Maybe sometimes she only made it worse.

"Where's Kouga?"

Kagome turned her head towards the entrance only to see Ginta walking towards her.

"He got an important phone call, he had to go."

"Oh." Wait, this was perfect! He had to think fast though. "Ohh, well, probably Misa."

Kagome slowly pressed her lips together before popping them. "Misa?"

And she bite. "Oh, it's just a girl from our pack."

"I don't think I've met her before." Granted, it was highly possible that she did not remember everyone's name. But she was only asking to ask.

"She's been around a few times. Maybe ya just missed her. She's really nice. Kouga and her hang out often." Lie. One that he was not sure Kagome would buy. Jeaously worked both way and he intended on igniting that little spark inside Kagome.

"I didn't know. He never mentioned her."

"He… he didn't? Oh. I'm - hm, I'm sure he forget," Ginta replied, pretending as though he just realize he said too much. "They're just friends really. It's nothing."

"Well, I just hope she's okay." She never saw Kouga hang out with a lot of people - especially girls. Then again, sometimes she went more than a couple of days without seeing him. Maybe she was what kept him so busy. After all, she did not know every single detail about Kouga's life. They were friends not lovers.

"I'm sure she is. I don't think there is a problem."

Kagome arched an eyebrow. "Kouga seemed pretty worried."

"She makes it sound more dramatic so that he gets there faster," he said with a wink.

Ginta prayed he was not laying it on too thick and that Kagome was buying his story. The only problem would be what would happen once Kouga was back. Clearly his retelling of the story would not coordinated with the version Ginta just gave Kagome. What if Kagome took it as Kouga lying to her? Perhaps he did not think his whole plan through before putting it in motion…

"Or you know maybe it's someone else or something else," he nervously added.

"It's good for him if he has someone."

"Well they're not together."

There was a silence and their eyes mets and Ginta realized he made it worse. He was making her think they were friends with benefit. "I mean, I don't think they are," he said hopelessly trying to fix the mess he was creating.

"It's his private life, he can do as he wants." She cleared her throat before rising to her feet. "I'll be right back."

Kagome walked a little too fast in direction of the bathroom. Once she was inside, she closed the door and smacked her back against the door. Where was all this coming from? It was not the first time she experienced the ping of jealousy. It happened that one time during the BBQ after their whole camping trip. She thought she was over that. Kouga and her were friends. It was a good relationship and neither of them wanted more.

It was not that long ago that she used to wake up with a sadness filling her. It was not too long ago that he still filled her mind. Memories, always memories. She was stuck living in the past and now was no different. Even if, she wanted a relationship… it was not a good idea. She was not even over everything that happened in the Feudal era and that would not be fair to anyone. Anyways, she did not want more.

Did she?

Goddamn it, why did it bother her so much that he was over at some girl's place?

They had shared some good times, always within the boundaries of friendship, and that made her feel better. She did not need to confuse her heart more than it already was. Friendship was the way to go for them. Even when he pulled off a bunch of romantic gestures, she did not fall for him. She was a bit swooned, but she did not fall for him. Because Inuyasha was there. And now he was not. And she was… a different person in a different time.

A huge sigh rolled off her lips as she let herself fall down to the ground.

She never got closure - and not only with Inuyasha. She was transported back to her own world and stuck there. Deep inside, she wondered if maybe one day she would be able to go back but Kouga's presence revealed the truth; she never went back. She never got to say goodbye, she never got to make peace with all that happened to her. She never had time to let go of Inuyasha.

Those feelings… were they because she still felt something for him or was she holding on to everything because she could not have any of it back? Until she figured it all out, she could not do this, she could not invest herself in someone else - it would be unfair.

Unfortunately for Kagome, none of it helped her with the growing feelings within her. Her days were better when he was around. Her smile was truest in his presence. She felt lighter whenever she caught a glimpse of him. She could not describe it, she could not say what it was. Friendship? Love? She had no idea. She did not even know if her feelings for Inuyasha were real or they were the result of a crush or because of Kikyo's feelings lingered in her.

She never knew.

She would never know.

When Kouga fell in love with her the Feudal era, it was not her fault. She did not encourage him and she did not try to seduce him. She kept letting him down over and over again. He did not understand. This time, it would be different. If by some twisted turn of fate he did feel something for her…she had to be sure she felt the same way. She refused to toy around with him. He meant too much to her. He made her days worth it, he made it easier to get through all of it.

She glided her hands across her cheeks and inhaled deeply. This was foolish.

Being with all of them was her happy moment. Why was she letting confusing emotions ruin it? If Kouga was happy with someone, then she was happy for him. Considering all the suffering and losses he went through, he deserved happiness in his life. And if he did not want to share that private part of his life with her, that was his happiness. She would not pressure him to do so; he could do it when he was ready.

Kagome took another deep breath before struggling to rise to her feet. She then looked at her reflection in the mirror and smiled. She already felt better. And she should hurry to get back downstairs before Ginta began to worry. She did not want any of them to think there was something wrong with her.

As Kagome leaned forward to grab the door handle, she suddenly heard voices screaming. She knitted her eyebrow together and approached her ear to the door. Quickly, she recognized the voice; it was Kouga's.

"What is wrong with you guys! Why - she!"

She quickly backed away from the door, her eyes shining. Was he mad because they told her about Misa? Did he really want to keep that piece of information from her?

Kagome sunk her lips in her bottom lip as she finally managed to grasp the handle. She could not let them get in trouble over her. She would go downstairs and explain to Kouga that she made them tell her.

However, once she swung the door open, she found an unexpected surprise on the other side; Kouga.

His eyes were wild with emotions and his breathing was rapid. He was searching her face for answers and he seemed to find what he was looking for. How could they have done that? He knew it was all too strange, he knew none of it was a coincidence. What he did not expect though were the scents coming from Kagome. She was upset. He only managed to get bits and pieces out of the guys but - but he did not think such informations would affect her that way. It did not make any sense.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded.

"You're back already."

The guys were stupid. Nothing was wrong and by the time he got there, they were already fine. Obviously, he wished he had known that before leaving. That way Ginta would not have had time to spread lies.

Lies that made… Kagome sad.

"I hope Misa's alright."

There was no jealousy, there was no resentment shining in her eyes and yet something felt off.

"And please, don't be mad at the guys for telling me."

"Ka-"

"I don't think they knew I wasn't supposed to know."

"Kag-"

"And I want you to know you can tell me anything. I don't mind if you want to talk about girls with me."

"Kagome."

"That's why we're friends."

And that little word was what did it. He tried to explain, he tried to ignore it all… and now… it pushed him over the line… over the one line he said he would not cross.

Before he even fully realized what he was doing, he grabbed Kagome by the shoulders. For the first time, she finally stopped talking and she listened. Then he brought her body closer to his and before either of them could stop it, he pulled her in for a kiss.

-U-


	10. Confused Minds

She could not breathe, she could not think. The only thing that occupied her mind was the feeling of his soft, warm lips against her own. She was frozen, unresponsive to the kiss as her body refused to obey the commands she was screaming at it. Her hands were shaking by her sides, her heart thundering in her chest. Her throat was dried and her lips were softened by the touch of his. She felt his large hand slide up to cradle the back of her head, tilting it to a slight which gave him better access. And then she felt weak. Her own mouth moved timidly, nestling her fears, her excitement within him.

The panic created by the surprise kiss took hold of Kouga rather quickly - especially when she did not move and she stiffened in his hold. Since she did not return the unexpected gesture he planned on snatching himself before spending a lifetime apologizing to her. But then the expected happened: she returned his kiss. Now it was impossible for him to tear himself away from her cherry lips. He knew deep down this was a luxury that would only come once in a lifetime. He felt guilty, so guilty - just not enough to stop. He never meant to  _kiss_  her - he panicked. He did not want her to think his heart belonged to someone else.

He ruined it, he ruined everything.

If he did not feel guilty enough then, he did now.

He used his grip on her to push himself away from her. His posture slumped while his chin dipped into his chest; how could he look at her? She  _did_  return the kiss but - but maybe she simply got caught up in the moment. The best thing he could do was apologize to her. He curled his hands inward before daring to raise his glance. She stared at him with open eyes, a slack expression on her face, her lips parted and a soft tint on her cheeks. Her hair was tousled and her lips plump from the kiss.

"Sorry - I didn't meant to - I"

She wanted to speak but her mouth hung open and no words came out. She never expected this to happen. She never thought - they were certainly never going to be a couple back then and now -  _Kouga was a friend_. They were not going to be a couple. She was not going to date anyone. How could she?

He could see it; she was pulling away. He  _fucked_ it up. "Kagome, listen."

"It's okay," she finally spoke. The sound of her own voice took her by surprise. "I - m I just probably go anyway," she said as she gestured towards the door.  _Running_. It was the only thought in her mind.

He should let her go since it was the fair thing to do. He stepped over the line and she no longer wanted to be in his presence for the time being. He would ignore the fact that she kissed him, he would forget the feeling of her lips against his. He would chase all of it away from his memories. However, he could not lose his friend. If he let her go now, he was sure he would never see her again and that thought alone made his adrenaline spike and his stomach coil. He could not let it happen.

"Kagome, it's late."

"I'll -"

"Sleep here. I'll go. I'll ask Ginta to bring you back in the morning."

There it was: a twinkle of sadness in his eye. She wanted to make it go away. Unfortunately, none of the words that came to her would be enough. She did not even know what she was feeling. How could she possibly explain it to him? Yet she had to find a solution. His icy blue eyes shone with pain and it broke her heart. How did it end up so messed up?

She could stay. She could do that. Except - she just stood there. Silent.

Kouga took her silence as a sign that she agreed with him. Unable to look her way he turned around and exited the room, leaving her behind - leaving all of it behind. He said time after time that it was not the kind of relationship he wanted with Kagome. He knew that if he made a move he would ruin everything between them. And that was exactly what he did. His insticts took over and he let them.

He did not even have time to set foot on the last wooden step of the stairs that Ginta and Hakkaku swarmed around him. Except, they did not look excited. How could they be after they heard the conversation?

"Kouga..." Ginta began.

Kouga cut him off. "Don't wanna hear it. This is why I told ya to stay out of it." He should be happy, he was right: Kagome did not have feelings for him. And he lost her. She trusted him. She felt safe with him.

He had no desire to stay in the house. He had to get out. Kouga was reckless, he knew that. He was a tad calmer with age but he would never be calm and level headed. His emotions influenced him - a lot. He also dove in head first. This new world did not allow him to fully be who he wanted to be. Restraint. That was the keyword to live in this new world and he did not like it one bit. He had to control his nature, he had to be someone who he was not. Blending in or extinction. When those were the only two options… the choice was easy. Though on some days, he only ahd one thought in mind; out. Out and wild. His instincts were calling out to him and he would answer the call. For tonight, he would be the wolf.

Kouga did not have to think about it twice. He began shedding his clothes as he made his way to the door. The guys did not even have to ask; they knew exactly where he was heading. All they had time to see was his dark wolf tail appear before he vanished from their eyes. Now that he was gone their guilt had time to settle in. It was an awful feeling, twisting their gut. They felt like crap. Ginta felt a thickness in his throat as he swallowed. They did not want to Kagome or Kouga to be hurt. They thought this would make everyone happy. Although they were as equally confused as they were feeling guilty.

She should have said yes.

How could Kagome not be interested? She liked being around Kouga, she blushed, she was jealous. They would make a great couple. She... she should have said yes. They witnessed every moments between these two, they were present when Kouga never quite gave up on her, when he became upset when she disappeared forever. And the joy - the joy in his eyes when he found her again after all that time…

But they learned one lesson; they were not going to mingle anymore.

-U-

The room was filled with an unsettling silence. The thumping of her heart seemed so loud in all the quietness. She wanted it to slow down, she wanted to close her eyes and slip into unconsciousness. Unfortunately, life was not so gracious. Ever since Kouga left the room, and she failed to stop him, she remained awake. She wanted to go after him and talk but she did not know what to talk about, she did not know how to ease the pain, take away the confusion and make the situation better.

Should she begin by telling him how messed up she felt? All the time traveling, the missed normal teenage years, everyone she left behind...it left her different. She was no longer the same Kagome. Her heart suffered a lot when all those people she considered family were snatched away from her. How much time did she spend at the bottom of that well, trying anything to make it work one last time? How many tears did she shed on that dirt, hopeless, hoping that another miracle would take place?

Then Kouga came back in her life and it was like a whirlwind. She remembered everything she lost and she got a glimpse into her old life, the one she missed so much. She appreciated Kouga - a lot. His presence along with his pack's made her life much better. But - she already turned him down once. And she did not want to lose him. She did not know what she felt for Kouga. The thought of a relationship did not really cross her mind. They were friends. They were happy. And she never thought he wanted more. He made it clear on multiple occasions that they were  _only_  friends.

Did she want to be more than friends? Was she over her broken heart? Most of all...did she feel something for him or was her heart confused by all the memories he was bringing back? It would not be fair to herself or to him if she - if she did not like him and got involved with him. It would ruin everything more than it was already ruined.

Though one thing was for sure, she could not stay there and try to sleep and pretend that nothing happened. She might not have anything to say but -  _she could not leave things as they were_. At the worst, she could leave. This place had become comfortable for her, a place of solace in the midst of everything. The simple thought that she was losing all of that was terrifying. She had to try and salvage it, she had to try to repair it. It was not a catastrophe was it? They kissed. And maybe it was all a mistake on both parts; him initiating it, and her responding to it.

She kicked the blue comforter off of her body with her feet and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She then quietly crept her way to the door, pressing her ear to it and listening. Nobody was talking - although nobody was asleep. Unlike earlier, she could not feel Kouga's presence; was he hiding it or was - was he gone? He told her to stay but he left? Her expression saddened as she rubbed the heel of her palm against her chest; it hurt. She wrapped her slender fingers around the golden knob of the door and twisted it open. She peeked inside, only seeing the empty, beige walls of the hallway. She followed the trail all the way to the wooden stairs and dared to go downstairs. The steps cracked with each movement she made, completely giving away her position.

Once she arrived downstairs, Ginta and Hakkaku turned their heads to look at her. They were sitting on the couch, some movie playing on the TV. Clearly they were not even watching it.

"Hey sis," Ginta greeted with a smile that seemed force. He looked concerned for her.

"Are you alright? Something wrong?"

They knew. And they knew that she knew that they knew. They still played the part. They did not want to embarrass her or make the situation any worst. If she wanted to talk about it, she would.

"Where's Kouga?" she managed to ask as she timidly tugged on the long sleeves of her white shirt. They heard it all and it made her cringe. She was not oblivious to it all; she remembered some of the conversations she had with the guys. Or the little  _less-than-subtle_  calls they made from time to time.

"He's outside."  _But_. But the but remained silent. At the worst, she simply would have to wait for him a little if he had not yet return from his little  _walk_. It was good that they would talk. There had to be some sort of misunderstanding, something that would explain why it went wrong?

She smiled. "Thank you."

She began heading outside, her hands trembling by her side. Her lips still felt swollen from the kiss, she could still remember it vividly. Her mind was tugging her in a billion directions at the same time. Yes, no. Leave, go. Her eyes were so focused on the door that she never glanced at the floor, never saw the clothes that covered the path in front of her. She peeked outside and only found emptiness. Force to venture further, she closed the door behind her and began to inspect her surroundings, looking for signs of him. Eventually, she spotted him. His figure was dark, hidden by the shadows, but there he was, his back facing her as he stared into the night. He had to know she was there; she was so nervous it made her aura pulse. At least he was not leaving; that was a good sign right?

Kagome took tiny steps until she closed half the distance. It was then that she saw his posture change; he stiffened.

Kouga did not actually think that Kagome would come so close or he thought she would call out to him - even though he never expected her to come looking for him in the first place. He chose not to speed away, thinking she might interpret it the wrong way. Unfortunately, he was now stuck in a rather  _uncomfortable_  situation.

"I'm naked," he finally shared.

Naked? And it was then that she saw it. She squinted and suddenly, the shadows were not as blinding; she could see all of his back, his tan skin and his defined muscles. His dark tail was rested by his side, letting her know he had gone for a little  _night_  walk. It was not too long before her cheeks puffed red and her eyes darted away from his figure.  _Oh_. What exactly was she supposed to do now? Why was he laying in the grass naked! Well, he did avoid the house because of her. Which was one more reason why they needed to fix this. She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, and fisted her hands. She kept walking, her embarrassment never leaving her face. One she was close enough she sat down, her back facing his.

He never expected her to stay and it was hard to stop the smirk from reaching his lips.

"Kouga, I don't -"

And then the happiness was gone.

"It was nothing."

"I wanna talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about." He ran his hand through his bangs, holding back a sigh. "You kept talking. And the guys were telling ya bullshit and ya wouldn't listen so I just - I just wanted to make you listen."

She felt a  _ping_  in her heart; the same kind she felt when he told the guys that they would ever only be friends. Perhaps she was reading too much into it. Though sometimes she thought about the times they spent together. Their walks, their talks. The way they were closer than ever and - it never dawned upon her that this was a path they might be taking. It was not like she ever considered him a possible suitor in the past. But this was not the Feudal Era, and she was not the same girl and he was not the same Kouga.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Okay, well I'm sorry."

He felt her move, he knew she would get up and walk away and he should let her. He messed up enough. They had a good relationship, they were good together as friends and he fucked it all up by kissing her. He should have known it was only a matter of time before he ruined everything.

"Kagome,  _fuck,_  just -"

Could he tell her? Should he tell her?

"Just wait," he finished.

She stilled, daring to tilt her head slightly to look at his face. He was gazing in the horizon, his blue eyes focused on what laid in front of him. His hands were digging in to the ground, hints of claws showing as his disguise was somewhat fading away. He was so deep in thoughts, he was not even thinking about keeping the facade up. If there was one thing he did not want, it was to lose her. However, he created a shift in their relationship, something he could never take back. Even if she wrote it off as nothing, even if they kept going, it would be different. She would be different around him.

"Shit," he cursed. "I didn't want this to happen."

Her heart raced as she stood there, listening to the confession she never thought she would hear. Before, she would have already tried to run away from him as he tried to  _propose_  yet again. Not this time.

"I don't know what's going on."

He let her pet him. He nuzzled her. He held her in his arms while she slept, while  _she_  nuzzled to him and called out for him. His life was different since he came in, she gave him back a feeling he did not think he would have again. She smiled and his world lite up and he hated it because it made him feel mushy and he did not want that. But he could not help it. His days were better when she was around. Did he like her? Fuck. Maybe he did. Or was it remnants of the past? No. He fucking liked her.

"I don't either," she finally admitted.

He was expecting a let down, he was expecting her to say, let's be friends. He did not expect  _that_.

"I -everything has been so messed up since I've been back. It's hard being here. I don't fit. I might not be youkai but when I'm with you guys, it feels like home. And I -" This was the hard part, the part where she had to tell him she did not have the first clue about how she felt. "It was hard when I came back, I was sad for a long time and I couldn't get back into the beat of this era. I don't know what I feel. My heart feels like it was stepped on and -" She slid her hand across the grass until it bumped into his. Her cheeks were red, her face was heated but she kept going. She inhaled a hitched breath and continued. "I don't want to lose you. I like having you in my life."

"But you don't know."

"I don't know." She could feel the tears burning her eyes. She did not want to hurt him, she wanted to have a perfect answer but she did not.

He thought about it too - he was so stubborn about insisting that they remained friends. He was not even sure what was right for them anymore. Simply having her around was enough for him. He did not have to date her. It did not mean he did not enjoy having her around, having her nuzzle him or wrapping his arms around her as she slept but - but he could live with it. The simple fact of having her back was enough. He remembered how painful it was when she left and he had no idea where she went. He did not want that again. This was good.

But - but what if she did want more? Would he really turn her down? No he would not.

"So we don't do choose anything now."

He paused and he waited to see if she would say anything but she did not.

"And we see where it goes."

"Are you going to bring me flowers and thank me for giving you chips?" she asked with a smile tugging at her lips. It was perhaps not the best time for humour but she could not help herself.

He joined her in the fun, chortling lively. "Maybe. Would that win me any points?"

"Maybe."

Silence settled in but some of the awkwardness had faded away. They made no promise, no goal. That would be okay for now. Her heart was not always her most reliable friend when it came to love. And the last thing she wanted was to hurt or lose Kouga. If they could come to an agreement, then it was good.

Kagome tucked her knees against her chest. She wrapped her arms around her legs ready to turn around. However as she did so she got a flash of skin - a lot of tan, smooth, shining in the moonlight skin. Her face urned further red, if that was even possible, and she tilted her head backwards before clamping a hand over her eyes.

"Yeah, I warned ya."

"I forgot!"

He laughed, amused by her reaction and the lovely hue of crimson that adorned her cheeks.

" Keep 'em closed."

She did as he said, a smile on her lips. She thought it was gone: the friendship, the teasing. Her heart was lighter at the thought that one little moment did not ruin it all. Her heart might not know what it wanted but she had Kouga nonetheless.

"Alright," she heard him say.

She uncovered her eyes to reveal a now dressed Kouga. he had on a pair of dark blue jeans along with a plain old white t-shirt. He extended her his hand, proposing to help her up. She gladly took it, placing her much smaller, shaky hand in his. He pulled her up effortlessly, his eyes never breaking contact with hers. Once she was steady on her feet, he released her hand.

As they began walking in direction of the house he decided he wanted to clear up his last remaining doubt before they went inside.

"We're okay?"

"We're okay," she replied without any hesitation.

She gently bumped into him and they kept on walking.

-U-

The chocolate curtains hanging in front of the window were gently blown by the wind as a morning breeze snuck inside. The sun was past the horizon while the sky maintained a golden colour. As the wind blew inside the room Kagome found herself unconsciously hugging the blanket against her body to keep warm. If the cold was not enough to wake her, the sweet scent of food that filled her nostrils was. She lifted her head, a grogginess taking over. She rubbed her face before opening her eyes. She was alone just as she had been when she fell asleep. Once Kouga and her had returned inside the house he told her it was time for humans to go to bed. He teased her but he was right. It did not take her much longer to fall asleep.

Things were slightly left in the open but they were solved. What else could she ask for?

She detached herself from the blankets, despite the fact that a cold breeze rapidly wrapped around her. She snaked her arms around her body, rubbing her palms against her flesh to warm herself. She slowly went downstairs, following the scent all the way to the kitchen. Once she got there, she found the boys. Ginta, Hakkaku and Kouga were sitting at the table eating. It was not too long before they raised their heads to look at her. Ginta tried to greet her with a stuffed mouth but everything he said was muffled. Hakkaku did not even try to talk and simply waved at her while giving her his best smile.

She chuckled while Kouga rolled his eyes. "We made some pancakes for you too," he said he pushed the plate towards her.  _Some_  was an understatement. The plate had a gigantic pile of blueberries pancakes pilled up, waiting for her to devour her them.

He did not need to tell her twice. She joined them at the table, grabbing the empty seat beside Kouga, and used a fork to put some pancakes in her plate. "Thank you."

Kouga gave her his best wolfish grin before shoving another bite into his mouth. When he first heard her coming down the stairs, he worried things might be slightly awkward but for the moment everything was back to normal. He wanted to wait for her before eating but the guys were getting impatient. Waking her up was not an option either; he figured she would be exhausted after the emotionally draining night she had. She was supposed to sleep over so that she could catch up on all the sleep she missed. She was not supposed to spend her nights awake because of him. It was the last time he would let something like that happen.

He focused his attention back to his own plate. Beside his pile of half-eaten pancakes were a few fruits. He picked up a round fruit with a thick large purple peel and snapped it in half with his bare hands only to reveal gooey white slices inside. As he popped one in his mouth he noticed Kagome was staring at him, leaning forward and one of her eyebrow raised. Her nose wrinkled while she paused to examine the fruit in his hand, her gaze focused.

"Mangkut."

"Huh?"

"They're called mangkuts. It's a fruit. Never had it before?"

She shook her head.

He slipped off a white slice from the purple shell and approached it to her face. "Wanna try?"

Her mouth twisted as she pondered her suggestion before she shook her head. "No thank you." Frankly, it's appearance made it look  _unappealing_. She did not think she would like it.

"Come on, it's good, try it," he said, getting it even closer to her mouth.

She sighed before tilting her head backward. "Fine," she said before parting her lips, leaving her mouth wide open.

For a brief instant, probably too short for her human eyes to notice, they all stilled. Kouga remembered vividly their conversation; they would let things progress however they may - but this was courting. It was not in her eyes but it was in his. Technically, she gave him permission to do so - although. No. It did not count. She was human, she was not a wolf. Even if he could tell Ginta and Hakkaku thought the same exact thing. He closed the distance between his fingers and her mouth to give her the slice. She gladly accepted it and he retracted his hand as though none of it meant anything special. His heart raced for a second, despite the thoughts running through his mind. She willingly let him feed her, she accepted the gesture - it was as though he proved himself as a provider.

 _Man_  he sounded old. The thought made him scoff.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she began chewing on the fruit, letting the new taste invade her mouth for the very first time. It was extremely  _sweet_.

"How does it taste?" he asked, changing the conversation.

"Good," she rapidly admitted. He was  _right_.

"Ya need to listen a little more."

She rolled her eyes, her smile betraying her. He took another slice and dangled it in front of her, She took it from him and eat it and he chuckled.

On the other side of their conversation was Ginta and Hakkaku. They were trying not to stare but it was becoming quite difficult. Those two were acting like two little lovebirds. They were not quite sure what happened last night. They did not want to spy on their conversation so they did their best not to listen in. Obviously, that proved to be a little difficult and they ended up hearing bits and pieces. Though it was not enough to know what the two of them decided on. They tried to ask Kouga but he refused to share, insisting it was none of their goddamn business and that they had already gotten more involved than they should have. They could not exactly disagree on that point but - nonetheless. If it was not for them they would not have gotten where they currently where…. Whatever that was.

Suddenly, Kouga's phone rang. He glanced down at it and groaned. Kagome shoot him a confused look. "It's work."

She was not exactly sure which of his many jobs he was referring to but she never got the chance to ask as he took his cellphone and walked into the living room before answering. Kagome could not hear the conversation but it was clear that Ginta and Hakkaku could since they were quiet and listening in. Apparently ears dropping was a very popular habit with the pack.

"I can take your shift," Ginta offered when Kouga walked back in.

"No, they want me to talk a look at it.  _Today_."

His eyes shifted and he looked in Kagome's direction. She was more than welcome to stay; the guys loved her company and he told her many times that this was her home…despite the fact that already had a home with her family. However, he did not get a chance to say anything that Kagome was already getting up.

"It's okay I should really be getting home."

"You don't have to leave."

"Yeah, sis. You can stay as long as you want."

"No seriously, I have to drop off some applications anyway." As long as she was not going to school, she wanted to work. She did not want to be a freeloader; her mother had enough to take care of as it was and Kagome did not want to be an added burden. Plus, she wanted to be able to help her mother.

Kouga frowned. "I told you I'd help ya with that. You don't have to go around applying."

"I'm not a damsel in distress. It's just a job," she said with a smile. "I wanna do this. Plus, I should really go home  _a little bit_." Her mother was kind enough to let her have a  _lot_  of sleepover. She trusted Kagome, she knew she did not lie. She said Kouga and her were only friends hanging out. Although, she was no longer certain that was the truth. And her mother was pretty much the only person she had to talk with about that kind of stuff.

"Alright, well at least finish your breakfast."

"You're leaving now?"

"I have to."

He would save a lot of fucking time if he could run. This human world just had to be  _slow_  and unfortunately he had to pay the consequences of that somewhere. It was cutting in on his time with Kagome but he also had responsibilities he had to take care of; his pack. Work meant money and money meant he could take care of his own when they needed his help. He was the leader and his job was to make sure everyone would be okay no matter what happened. Pack was family.

Now he simply had to share the rest of the bad news. "It might take a few days."

"That's okay," she quickly replied. They went days without seeing each other before, it was fine. Although most of the time they did not see each other because apparently they were both afraid of messing up. She understood he had to leave; jobs were important. Even if, she had to admit the timing was rather awful. They went on as though yesterday did not happen, as though they did not kiss. It was true that they decided to let things happen on their own, to see if their friendship would go that way on its own but…

But now he was leaving for a few days and… that was fine.

"Alright," he finally said before running his fingers through his hair. "I gotta pack a few things. If ya want I'll drop ya home."

She was about to accept his offer when an idea formed in her mind. "It's okay, I think I'll just finish breakfast and relax a little before I go." It was not the best white lie she ever came up with but it would do. She did not think he would see her behaviour as strange.

They were two people she needed to spend a tad bit more time with; Ginta and Hakkaku. They knew Kouga well, they probably knew what he was thinking better than she did. Was it considered spying if she asked them a few questions? She knew nothing of pack dynamics or wolves for that matter. She might have some knowledge of youkais and all of her experiences in the past but this was all new to her. She could swear that she noticed them freeze and stare at her earlier even though she could not for the life of her figure out what she could have possibly done wrong. She still had not figured out what it was exactly she felt for Kouga. She did not know if it could ever be a relationship. However, the way he made her smile, the way her heart felt lighter whenever she was with him, when she was with the pack made her think that she had to see if it was a viable option.

Apparently it was time for her to get a little crash course in wolves.

-U-


	11. Little Lessons

An awkward silence filled the room, the sound of metal utensils clacking against the porcelain dishes interrupting it from time to time. A tension was present, sizzling into the air. They tried not to stare at her too much but they did wonder if she knew the energy she was giving off through her aura. At first, they thought she might be a little distress - Kouga  _was_  leaving after all. However, that did not seem to be the source of her concern. She bid him farewell, little edgy, and with a short, tense hug and everything went well. Though Kouga was clearly less than happy to be separated from her. Though they did have to give him some points; he hid it well. That or Kagome was too lost in her own thoughts to even notice.

Even now, as she was supposed to finish enjoying her now cold breakfast, she was playing around with it, splashing a piece of crepe into a pool of maple syrup, never eating it. Her blue eyes were locked onto the white plate, her other hand mindlessly twisting her ebony strands of hair.

Ginta and Hakkaku exchanged glances, a frown wrinkling their noses. Ginta raised a brown eyebrow, questioning obvious in his face but Hakkaku shrugged his shoulders, forcing his back in a slump. Were they supposed to talk? She gave them the impression that she had something on her mind, something to ask but she did not speak. It as not as though they could talk about it - they did not have the first clue what could be weighing on her mind.

Hakkaku taped his fingers in a rhythmic fashion against the cherry wooden table before he felt his patience crack. "You know we can drive your home."

"When you're ready," Ginta finished, tugging his lips into a smile.

Kouga did warn them before leaving; they had to look after sis. Not that he  _needed_  to tell them that. She was a pack, obviously they were going to look after her.

The sound of their voice pulled her out of her thoughts and she snapped her head up, her hair fawning around, carelessly falling upon her shoulders. As she glanced at the both of them, a faint hue of pink spread across her cheeks, brightening her pale skin.  _Right_. She had a plan…or she was supposed to have one anyway. It was fine in her head but actually asking about it  _out loud_? It was downright embarrassing. She never thought she would be asking anyone about this. Ever since Kouga left she had been trying to find ways to fix the situation by herself, or find a way to at least be subtle about it but nothing came to mind. If she wanted to know about wolves customs, she would have to  _ask_.

Maybe it would be better if she did not look  _directly_  at them. She shifted her gaze away, swallowing hard and forcing her throat to bob. "I - hm, I had a question."

"Ask away."

If only it were that easy. "MMmm, well."  _Damn it_. It should not that difficult and yet she felt the heat rising to her face. She puffed away her bangs, making sure she was peeking right at the table and never into their eyes. Who knew maple syrup could be so damn interesting? " _I was wondering about wolves_ …." She pinched her lips. "flirting," she mumbled under her breathe.

They had good hearing, but they could not make out the last word. The whisper was lost on them. "You're wondering about wolves?"

"Wolves what?"

"Just wolves?"

"Like in general?"

A tremble began in her bottom lip and she tightly clenched her hand around her fork, her fingertips turning white under the pressure. Were they really going to make her  _say_  it? She glanced into their eyes, the confusion obvious, and she cringed. " _Flirting, okay?_ Gah! I'm just wondering. How you do it."

And in that moment, it took every ounce of self control they had not to burst out laughing.  _They knew_  - everybody knew - that Kagome and Kouga would make a great pair, they even all noticed the little exchanges, the subtle looks and touches but - to have their little sister so ashamed about asking…And really, she had nothing to be humiliated about. She was being considerate, realizing that Kouga was not human. It only made her even more perfect for their leader and friend. Still, it was a  _little_  funny; her face was red and her heart was pounding.

"I mean, we got used to being around humans."

That would not even help her much; it was not as though she had a lot of flirting experience under her belt. As a matter of fact, she had none. Yes, she did sometimes, in foolishness, consider Inuyasha a sort of boyfriend. Although, she highly doubted that  _sitting_  somewhere through oblivion counted as  _flirting_. Her heart felt heavier in her chest as she thought of him. The pain, the words left unsaid and the choices never made. It made her think about all the reasons  _why_  she was hesitant to embark into this path with Kouga. At the same time…he made her  _happy_  and it was something she had not experienced in a very long time - even by Inuyasha's side.

Ginta frowned at the shift in her aura but chose not to mention it. Was it her nervousness? Was she disappointed?

"We  _have_  more specific things we  _enjoy_." Though…that did not really happen anymore. The females were scarce and it was not as though they were going around, telling every human woman they met that they were youkais. Courting was not really done anymore and it was replace with human flirting. Even then, it was only done for the purpose of  _relieving_  some tension. Relationships were just one of those tricky things they never quite learned to get around in this new world. "Nuzzling or hm, touching noses."

"Sleeping together. The closeness. Whining noises."

"Little touches, throughout the day."

"Feeding one and another." Hakkaku almost smirked.

" _Grooming_."

She stared at the two of them with her eyes wide opened. She had not expected them to  _shout_  so many answers. Everything that involved  _flirting_  for them included - touching. Physical closeness was basically how they did it. It was not a bad thing but she was not sure she would ever have the guts to initiate any of those. Heck, she did not even know how she would react when Kouga - would he? Would he try to  _court_  her like wolves did or would he opt for a more human approach? She did not want him to be something he was not. She knew full well he was a youkai, with instincts and customs. She did not expect him to change or make himself uncomfortable on her account.

"Will Kouga…"

"Well you are  _human_."

To be honest, they did not know what their boss was planning. They did not have a chance to talk it over since he left so quickly after he  _finally_  obtained some sort of development with Kagome. Although Hakkaku did not fail to notice the disappointment in her face when he said she was human. Perhaps…it would be something worth mentioning to Kouga. It would have to be added on the list - along with all the teasing they had to do. They were right and he was wrong and now their little sister was asking about wolf customs. It could not be any more perfect than this.

"I guess," she replied as she finally put her fork down. "It - was - I was just wondering, that's all."

"No, we're happy to answer any questions ya got about wolves!"

"Yeah, you're pack. You should know this kind of stuff anyway! Two birds with one stone"

 _Pack_. It was extremely important to them and she was aware it meant a great deal to be pack and to be accepted. Kouga looked after his own - they  _all_  looked after one and another. They kept saying she was pack but she did not feel as though she did anything to  _be_  pack and to  _keep_  this title. Everyone seemed to pitch in but - she came and went, never really contributing her share. It did make her feel bad. She wondered if it was just how you felt when you were in a pack, the feeling that made you want to be there no matter the cost or if it was a trait that came with being a wolf. She would do anything for her friends. If they asked for help, she would come running. Thinking about the little things simply did not cross her mind. Was she a bad person?

It appeared that both boys noticed the change in her expression because a small panic appeared on their faces. "No, no, sis. What's wrong?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "It's nothing - I just. You guys are pack. You do stuff for each other. I don't really do anything."

Ginta frowned. "That's not true, sis. Back when we first met you, you risked your life to help us."

"Yeah, you defended us without thinking twice."

"You don't need to bring money in, or food or whatever to be pack. We know you'd do anything for us and we'd do the same for ya."

"But - "

"Nope. It doesn't matter."

Her lips broke into a smile and she nodded. Even though she was willing to agree with them, it did not mean she would not be more mindful in the future. Perhaps they were extra little things she could do to help out a bit more. She was limited in her resources, but she would do her best. There was one matter resting on her mind, bothering her. She should not ask and she was almost afraid of the answer. What if Kouga and her tried but it did not work? What if their relationship changed but it was never meant to be? Then, she would lose all of this? The pack, this new home? She knew she refused him in the past but - well she never  _encouraged_  him. This would be different.

If it was not meant to be and they chased her out, she would understand. But she did not want that.

Her lips trembled while she wondered if the question would slip her lips. "What - " Kami, why was it so hard to ask? "What would happen if - if we tried. And it didn't work out." Back in the feudal era, she did not see the wolves that often. They were friends but not  _close_  friends. She helped them when she could and they rescued her a few times. The relationship in the present was different. She felt like a sinking ship before she found them. Kagome no longer knew how to properly live in this world, she was not meant for a normal human life where she could not be herself, where she had to lie all the time and pretend she did not lose all the things she lost.

They made it possible to breathe without suffocating, they made it easier to smile and live.

She wanted to hold on to that feeling no matter how selfish it seemed.

Suddenly she felt a hand on his. "You're pack and nothing's gonna change that."

They know they were speaking for Kouga as well. Kagome would as well be part of their family no matter what. She was too important to them for that fact to change. And Kouga loved her too much to let anything break the bond of pack. He waited for five hundred years. He never stopped loving her, he simply thought she was gone. If anyone else but Kagome tried to get with Kouga, they would give them a warning. However, they knew Kagome would never intentionally try to break his heart. If she was willing to see if it was possible, if she cared enough to ask questions, then she felt something towards Kouga.

"It'll be fine."

She hoped so.

-U-

The sun remained high in the sky, casting warm colors onto the horizon. The heat was heavy, sticky and there was no breeze to refresh the air and the poor people walking around the town. Kouga ran his fingers through his bangs sticking to his forehead. The heat was even getting to him. Although it was mostly because of the heavy work he had been doing. He liked to get his work done quickly but this time he had an extra incentive; he wanted to get back to Kagome. Plus he was annoyed he had to come back to fix a mistake. The guys and him had been contractors on her house and apparently there were a few flaws that prevented the owners from moving in. He had to fix it. He did not know who made the mistake but he was annoyed; he was not getting paid for this.

If he was lucky, he would be done in a few hours. The timing could not have been worst and he would do his best to return to Kagome as fast as possible.

He tugged on his white shirt, the sweat forcing it glue to his tan skin. He never minded physical work; it was satisfying and it showed his skills. Plus, it was the only kind of work he did not need school and education. They had a few trials and errors in the past before they managed to get it right. Now they knew how to wing it and make it in this world. It was a quiet, hidden human life but it worked for them and for the pack dynamic. Although, he noticed that they did bring some modifications to it ever since Kagome came back. It was not like she forced them to adapt to her presence it was that they wanted to do it. He wanted to be able to spend more time with her and he did not mind staying inside, doing  _normal_  activities. Her presence was enough to make it fun.

Kagome was the only one who could make all of that entertaining.

He had a bad habit of getting excited when he should not. Kagome and him did not decide anything. They were going to try, go with the flow. Yet, every time he thought about it, he felt his heart race. He was not the cub he used to be. He would not pursue her, force his attention on her and oh so publicly declare her his woman. Despite the turmoil raging inside of his chest, he would keep calm and follow the pace one step at a time. It went against his driven, intense nature but he refused to make the same mistake twice and he had no desire to force an undesired pressure upon her. This time, he would do it right.

All those thoughts did very little to ease the feeling twisting his guts; what if he screwed up?

-U-

Blue eyes stared ahead at her cellphone, her nose crinkling while she frowned. Her eyebrows were furrowed together, her chin resting in the palm of her hand. Her dark locks were pushed away from her face by a ponytail, her bangs carelessly falling upon her forehead. Her elbow laid upon her wooden white painted desk, her blue sweater protecting her skin from the harshness of the wood. She popped her pink lips before a sigh escaped them. Waiting was torture. No matter how long she stared at her cellphone, it remained shut. Not once did her screen light up despite the  _two_  calls she was waiting for. She applied for a job and was expecting  _one_  of them to call - hopefully the library. The other sign of life she was expecting was from Kouga.  _Not that he had to contact her_. He had no obligation. But it had been a few days since he left and…

_She did not know what she thought._

Should she be the one calling? Should he call her? Was he even back?

He did say a few days but it was nothing precise. Plus, they were keeping things the same but - trying to move forward. He never used to call her everyday and there was no reason why it should change right?

She rolled her eyes at her own foolishness and then, let herself slump into her grey cushioned chair. Her arms flapped at the sides and she let her head fall backwards. There was no reason for her to begin acting pathetic. This was Kouga - someone she had known for a long time. Had she not grown accustomed and at ease with their friendship? There was no reason she should suddenly forget about everything that happened between them. They were friends first. Stressing about something she had no experience in would not be useful. She was not used to relationship and the past proved she lacked experience and good judgement when it came to them. She felt a great deal for Inuyasha but some of the decisions she made in regards to him were not always the best. She did not regret anything that happened but it did mean she would not change a few things if she could.

Kagome rolled her chair around, ready to get up and get on with her day. There was no reason to stare at a phone that would not ring; it would simply drive her insane. The best solution was to keep herself busy. That way, she would chase away all the stupid thoughts she was having and she would quit worrying herself over nothing. She inhaled deeply, as a small way to give herself courage, and stood up.

At that precise moment, life decided to have other plans. A family  _whistling_  sound filled her small bedroom and in less than a second, she snapped her head in direction of her phone. Her eyes widened, her lips parting, and she leaned forward to look at the screen.  _Text message (1) Kouga_. She was unable to resist the smile that formed on her face, a hint of teeth showing between her pink lips. It was not too long until her hand reached out for the phone and she wrapped her fingers around it. She clicked the alert, opening the text.  _Lunch?_ He was back. And he texted her. Her smile grew in size and she sunk her teeth in her bottom lip. She wasted no time in replying and then put her phone back down on her desk. She thought there was no reason to be nervous and yet, she felt her heart hammer inside of her chest. She took quick small breaths, before glancing down at herself.

Her clothes were fine were they not?

It was not a date, she was simply going over, like she did many times in the past. She tugged on her ponytail, tightening it and glanced around for her purse. Once she found the black leather accessory, she slipped it on her shoulder and shoved her phone inside. She rushed down the stairs only to find her mother stirring a pot of soup. "Up already?" she asked with a smile. Before Kouga's return into her daughter's life, Kagome's morning began rather late. Changes were subtle but she did not miss the transformations her daughter was going through. Some days, she worried - after all, she slept away from home a few times. She was not a little kid and Kouga was a man. Sometimes she reminded herself that Kagome used to sleep away from home all the time when she was traveling through time. But, this felt different. Nonetheless, it was hard to forbid it when she saw all the good it did her. For a while, she thought her daughter would never find pleasure into living in the real world. For the time being, Kouga and her seemed friends…

"Yeah, I was hoping the library would call," she said as she entered the room before leaning against a pole. The scent of vegetables and noodles filled the air and she was forced to inhaled deeply, letting the smell fill her nose.

"Did they?" she asked while she kept stirring.

"Not yet but… Kouga called."

"Oh he's back?"

Kagome did tell her mother about Kouga leaving but she did not share the most recent development. She did not think there was a reason to talk about it since nothing changed as of yet. She was not trying to keep it from her, she simply wanted to avoid complicated things before it was necessary. A lot of things would change if her mother knew Kouga and her were in a relationship and… she did not want things to change. This was the best way to go for the time being.

"Yeah, he invited me over for lunch."

A question lingered in the air, and Kagome shifted her weight from one foot to another waiting to see what her mom would say. She did not expect her to refuse but Kagome thought the less she could do was ask. She might now be an adult but she still lived at home, under her mother's rules.

"You should go," Miyu said as she tucked a short free strand of her brown hair behind her ear. She gave her daughter a smile, her head tilting to the side. She would not say no. Especially when her daughter appeared to be this excited.

Kagome grinned and closed the distance between herself and her mom. She pressed a kiss to her cheek and hopped towards the front door. "I'll be back for dinner." Although it was not a sure thing but Kouga did not talk about dinner and she felt like she at least owed her mom a return time.

"Call if you can't make it." Sometimes she wondered if she knew her daughter better than Kagome knew herself.

Kagome waved before exiting the house and heading outside. As she began heading downstairs, jumping the stairs one at a time, she slowly starting to regret her clothing choice; it was  _hot_. She swallowed before running her tongue over her lips. She unstuck her ponytail from the back of her neck, a layer of sweat quickly forming. She tugged on her blue sweater, hoping to create a breeze around her body. She sighed before she began her way to Kouga's house. For the first time, she regretted not asking for a ride.  _No, no_ , it was a beautiful, sunny day and she would enjoy it. Maybe the walk would actually help her calm down. She could already feel her palms turning moist and it had nothing to do with the heavy heat. She rubbed her hands together before rubbing them on her light jeans.

Seconds turned into minutes and after a while, the house finally came in view. She blocked the sun out of her vision using her hand and she smiled. Her pace hurried and she ignored the way her shirt clung to her flesh in an uncomfortable way. She could already feel the sweat dripping from the side of her face and she prevented herself from cringing; she was not going to be a pretty sight. Kami it was unfair; Kouga could run a marathon in the sun and come back without breaking a sweat. Meanwhile, she looked like she went through a shower, with the tip of her bangs drenched in sweat. She shook her head, her bangs flying around. Finally, through her frustration, she managed to reach the house. She went up the stairs and lifted her hand, ready to knock. She was not certain why but it was almost strange to knock. She did come in a few times but… with them. She knew they said it was her house but… but…

She shrugged and then knocked regardless.

Kagome waited barely a second before the door opened. She expected to see Kouga on the other side but instead she found Ginta's smiling face. His short grey hair was wet, clinging to the side of his face.

"Hey sis! Come on in." He moved out of the way to let her in. "Why did you knock? You can just come on right in. Didn't we give ya a key?" That was weird. This was her  _home_  as well. They would have to fix that; she should not have to knock. They wanted her to feel as welcome as she wanted.

"Oh, I just, I don't know, I didn't want to barge in."

He raised a dark eyebrow. "Didn't Kouga invite you?"

Ginta was fairly certain that the first thing their leader did when he stepped foot in the house was text Kagome. And they did nothing to stop him. His face spoke for him; a huge smile, a hint of fangs poking through and his eyes glistening with a twinkly they had not seen in a long time. Kouga was  _happy_. He found a balance, he found where he wanted to be and what he wanted to do in this new world and it was Kagome.

"He did -"

"Then you're not barging in," he said, cutting her off.

She chuckled and nodded before following him into the kitchen. Again, despite her expectations, Kouga was not there. Instead Hakkaku was there, reading the newspapers. He put it down, allowing her to see his mohawk and he broke into a grin. "Hey sis!" He tried to hide his amusement at the rush both her and Kouga were in to see each other.  _Yeah okay, they were taking it slow._  He did not think that would last very long.

"Hey," she said as she sat down in front of him.

At this point, they both noticed the little  _question_  in her face. She was looking for Kouga.

"Kouga's in the shower."

He did not even take the time to shower before he finished his job. Instead, he drove all the way back home once he was done and called Kagome the moment he came home. Apparently he did not want to waste anytime. They snickered but he glared at them so they stopped. But it did not matter because they already knew that they were right. And now seeing Kagome's face only confirmed it. After all this time, it was finally going to happen and for once, Kouga would not get smacked if he ever said  _Kagome was his woman_. What they were intrigued to see was if Kagome would use some of the advices she asked for. Although they kind of doubted she would do it in front of them. Kagome was the shy type.

"Oh it's okay," she said as she leaned back into the black chair.

She quickly glanced around but noticed that no food was being prepared. Did he not invite her for lunch? Or were they not going to eat here? After her little walk in the heat she did not really look presentable. Although she did show up here looking like this. What if she looked a little dishevelled and sweaty? She chased the silly thoughts out of her head and focused her attention back unto the boys in front of her.

"Mm, about the other day."

"Never happened," Ginta answered with a smirk that let her know he found the situation quite amusing.

She did not want to talk too much about it since she did not know how far Kouga was and she knew their hearing was pretty good but she did not know how far the range extended. She did not need him asking her or Ginta and Hakkaku some questions. It was much better if he did not know anything about it, both because she was embarrassed she even asked about it and second because she did not want him to think too much into it.

"Thanks," she said as she looked away, abashed, her face a faint hue of red.

"What did you two idiots do?"

Everyone turned their head in direction of the door way only to spot Kouga coming into the kitchen. He had a frown on his face, his blue eyes glaring at them. His long, wet hair clung to his back, free and loose, a rare sight. His jeans hung loose while his white t-shirt looked like a second skin. Kagome did her best to tear her eyes away but she was forced to stare at him for a few seconds longer than she wanted to, the blush in her cheeks only darkening. She did not mean to stare; how could she not?

Meanwhile, Kouga was focused on Ginta and Hakkaku. He could smell her shame from all the way up the stairs. What in the world did they say to her?

"Nothing," all  _three_  of them answered at the same time.

Kagome managed to look away and suddenly found a rather profound interest in Hakkaku's newspapers which he had let carelessly fall upon the kitchen table.

Kouga eyed them all one by one, but nobody seemed to give it away. Apparently he would have to ask the guys later, when Kagome would leave. He did not know why but he had a feeling it was something  _stupid_. Did he not tell them to stay out of this? Perhaps the situation between Kagome and him did change but it did not mean they got a free pass into saying  _relationship_  stuff. He would need to talk to them again, clear it out for a second time.

He chose to let it go for the time being and sat down beside Kagome. As he got closer to her, he felt another scent fill the air but he could not quite but his finger on it. It was there, faint, and hiding beneath the shame, the nervousness. He frowned, his eyes narrowing for a brief second. It was not until he turned his head that he saw Kagome looking at him.  _Well_ , not exactly at him. Instead, she was staring down at his shirt, her eyes sometimes glancing over to his arms. Was she checking him out? He almost resisted the urge to smirk. He was forced to shift his expression when she finally looked into his eyes. He saw them widened but she then tried to play it off.

"Welcome back."

"Thanks. It was a pain."

"Do you have to go back?"

"Not fucking gonna." Even if there was something wrong again this time he was _certain_  it had nothing to do with his work and they could go fuck themselves. He was not making that trip again for nothing.

"Do you often leave for work?"

"Usually we find some shit around here but - sometimes it's harder." It was a big city but there was not always a lot of work and he always wanted to make sure there was enough. Not only for him but for the guys as well. Some wolves preferred to live on their own but he wanted to make sure they had what they needed. "Ya wanna eat?"

"Mm, sure," she replied almost uncertain as she took another quick glance around.

"What do ya want? Ginta and Hakkaku are gonna go get some stuff."

They both looked at Kouga, slightly confused their eyes saying  _we are_? When he nodded glancing between them and Kagome, they finally seemed to understand.

"Yeah, we are starving. Didn't feel like making anything," Ginta supplied.

"Pizza, how about some pizza?"

"Mm, sure," she said with a smile.

"Great, come on Hakkaku," Ginta said as he hurried from his chair, nearly tugging on Hakkaku's black shirt. "We'll be back."

Kagome raised an eyebrow at their suspicious behaviour but said nothing of it. She was not blind, she could guess what exactly was going through her heads and she simply smile and faintly shook her head; they had not gotten more subtle with the years. Though they never failed to make them laugh.

Although, now she was left alone with Kouga. And she was not sure what to say. They said it would not be awkward and it was not awkward before his departure but now she felt as though she was not sure what she should be telling him.

"I'm glad you're back," she finally said.

Her words warmed his heart. "Yeah, kinda hurried to get back."

"Oh?"

"Didn't really wanna be there." And he wanted to be back. "Much more fun here." As he said that, he turned to look into her eyes and she found herself unable to break the stare. Her heart raced and she felt a jolt travel her body. Kouga was serious, honest and a little bit rough around the edges but he was a good person. It made the idea of falling seem terrifying for a second. She fell once but - she was a young, it was another time, another kind of relationship. She did not see as much pain in this one. It could be liberating.

Ginta and Hakkaku's words filled her head and she was reminded of what they said about touching and shows of affections. She would never have the courage to actually go through with it all. Not yet. She was not comfortable and sure enough but - but … she felt as though she wanted to do  _something_  at least. From the corner of her eye she noticed that his hand was also resting on the table. She shyly moved her own until her pinky bumped into his. He stiffened at first, most likely because he was not expecting it but he kept staring at her nonetheless. The smile on his face grew in size.

"Yeah, I think so too."

Her face glowed with a hue of pink and he felt his chest swell. His negative thoughts from earlier flew away from his mind and all he thought about was the little human girl sitting beside him.

"It's nice out. We could eat there instead of inside," she proposed, breaking the gaze for the first time.

"Yeah, good idea." He did not like to be stuff inside.

She jumped to her feet, a grin on her face.

He cocked an eyebrow. "You tryin' to race me?"

"Well you are getting pretty old."

His gaze turned predatory. "That's it," he warned.

A laugh bubbled from her throat and she began running towards the back door. He let her get away and take the lead, his heart leaping as he watched her rush outside, her laughs filling his ears like a melody.

For the first time, it was not a bad thing. For the first time, it might not end in a heartbreak.

-D-


	12. Soothing Touch

Grey puffy clouds loomed into the sky, shielding the sun and preventing it from lighting up the streets of Tokyo. Rain threatened to fall, forcing everyone to carry an umbrella with them. Meanwhile, Kagome was walking down the streets, holding a yellow umbrella in her hands. Her long black locks were wrapped in a ponytail while her bang were swiping to the side. The humidity made her jeans cling to her skin and she was grateful for the yellow short sleeves shirt she chose to wear. Yesterday, she had spent the day with her family. She had spent so much time away from them that she owed it to them. Not only that but she also had to start talking to her mother about Kouga. Obviously she did not mention everything since -  _well_  she wanted to keep going over there at any time but… once, or rather if, it became official, she would have to talk about it.

She had not called Kouga prior to coming but he had told her that it was  _her_  home as well. It left her slightly nervous, a tingling feeling in the pit of her stomach but she refused to let it fully take over. All the wolves came over all the time. It was everyone's house - it was for the pack. She inhaled deeply as she took another step forward. She brushed past many people, never recognizing anyone, until finally, the house came in view. She smiled, and hurried her steps a bit. Unfortunately for her, she was come to force to a halt when she noticed something unfamiliar. She was present during a party or when a few people came over but this was nothing like she had ever seen before; there were many cars and motorcycles parked in front of the house. What was happening?

Kagome arched an eyebrow while she took careful steps forward. She tried to see if she could not see anyone in the yard but it was completely empty; they were probably all inside. Should she come in? Dang it, she should have known it was a bad idea. She sighed heavily as she finally reached the porch. Should she knock then? Or was it a good time to walk away and pretend she never came?

She did not have the chance to make a decision that the door opened in front of her. On the other side, she found Ginta. She expected to see his smiling face but instead, he looked troubled. His posture was rigid and he seemed unable to remain still. Nonetheless, he greeted her. "Hey sis."

"Is this a bad time?" she asked with a cringe on her face.  _Should have called. Should have called._

"Hm, no I mean it's okay," he replied while rubbing the back of his neck.

It was not as though she felt completed unwanted but his response was not very welcoming either. She sunk her front teeth in her lip and nodded but she never took a step inside the house. Although, it was not even as if she could since he was sort of blocking the pathway. "I'll come back."

"No, it's fine," Ginta said, putting a smile on his face. He moved out of the way that time and gestured for her to come in.

Her eyes shifted to him and then back to the road. Despite her great mood when she came in, now uncertainty settled in and she could not help fidgeting with her fingers. She clenched her hands before taking her first step inside. As soon as she did, she saw the people gathered in the living room. The couch was filled, packed with people, but she could not really see the rest of the room. She heard Ginta close the door behind her and then come to stand beside her.

"What's going on?"

"We're having a little problem with one of the guys."

"Is it serious?"

He wanted to shake his head but he could not. "Kinda."

She clutched her arm to her chest and curled her shoulders forward. "What did he do?"

This was the part he did not want to tell her. Although, she would find out about it eventually; this was one secret that was going to get out and they would have to talk about it for a  _long_  time. "He fucked up, big time."

Kagome could easily notice that he was stalling, not telling her the issue. What could be so wrong that everyone looked as though someone died?

"He slept with a human."

Although a blush formed on her cheeks, she furrowed her eyebrows. "And that's a crime?" It could not be. Kouga - If Kouga was interested in her - well one day they might - and then  _oh god she did not want to be thinking about that_. Her cheeks felt like they were on  _fire_  and she was certain Ginta could smell her shame.

"No. But he wasn't careful." He sighed. "She's pregnant."

Kagome's mouth dropped and her eyes widened. Clearly the guy did not mean to have a baby but it could not be such a bad thing could it? "I mean- it's - is it…"

"Dangerous. She's gonna have an hanyou."

 _Oh right_. God she was an idiot. The girl did not know about youkais. Kouga mentioned to her that it was tricky to date humans and it was not as though they could go around telling everyone their secret. If they were found out, it could be extremely dangerous. However, if that girl was going to have the baby, there was no way of hiding it from her. They would have to tell her - and there was not telling what she might do with that information. No wonder everyone was so worried. She had no given it any real thought before. Youkais could easily disguise themselves but could hanyous do the same? And exactly  _what_  human could they trust enough to share their secret with?

That was a painfully lonely life. She remembered when they said matings did not happen very often anymore. They had it so hard and it never crossed her mind.

"What are you going to do?"

"We don't know yet but Kouga is pissed."

 _That_  was the sizzling feeling that filled the air. He was the alpha, it was his responsibility not only to look after everyone but to protect them and their secret. "Could you tell her?"

"We have no fucking clue who she is."

She flinched at the swear and the rage that followed suit but she did not say anything.

"Like how do we know we can trust her? It's not like it's an easy thing to do. But - if she's gonna have the baby there ain't much we can do."

"What if she doesn't have it?"

Ginta shrugged. "It only happened once before and the girl didn't want the baby so - at least it was fine. But he's saying she wants it."

Kagome took a step in direction of the living room. She did not want to spy but she had to admit, she was intrigued. Every time she saw the pack, it was mostly all fun and  _family_  time. This was different; they were going through a rough time, something that could threaten all of them. Once she leaned in a bit more, she was able to catch a glimpse of Kouga. As per usual, his hair was up in a ponytail. Except, he did not look as happy and carefree as always. His mouth was twisted in rage, which made it easy to tell he was grinding his teeth, there was a flare in his nostrils and his eyes were cold and flinty.  _This was not good_.

As per on cue, he turned his head in her direction. The moment theirs eyes met, his glance softened. After a few seconds he tore his eyes away from her and said something to everyone but she was too far to understand what he said. Then, after an instant, he got up and marched in her direction.

"Hey," he said as he leaned forward.

"Sorry, I didn't know."

He shook his head, clearly displeased at her words. "I told ya, this is your home."

"Ginta filled me in," she said while tilting her head towards Ginta.

Kouga ran his clawed fingers through his hair and exhaled deeply, his chest heaving before sinking down. "Yeah, it might take a while to fix this."

"Don't worry about, I'll hang out with her, we should do some catching up to do," Ginta said as he uncrossed his arms from in front of his chest.

Kagome shook his head. "I don't need to be babysitted," she said with a smile. "I'll just come back later, it's fine."

She was about to pull away when suddenly, Kouga grabbed her hand and wrapped his fingers around her. She felt his need pulse through her, his desperation obvious in his eyes. He did not utter a word but he did not have to; she could tell what he wanted just by the look in his eyes. He wanted her to stay - he  _needed_  her to stay and she could not disappoint him.

"You know, it's really nice outside," she finally said as she looked at Ginta.

Kouga never asked much of her and she would never refuse him. Since she accepted to stay, she thought he would release her hand but he appeared to be reluctant to do so. Instead, his lips were pressed together in a light grimace. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally resigning. Instead, he let his fingers brush against hers for a few seconds before releasing her. In his eyes, she could see an internal conflict. He  _wanted_  something else but she was unable to tell what it was. Too afraid to break the eye contact, she waited for him to do it. When it did happen, Ginta nudged her and she nodded. Kouga walked back to the living room, his back arched as though all the stress of the world was resting upon his shoulders.

Kagome followed Ginta outside as he lead the way. The door nearly slammed behind her while he ahead towards the nearby tree. He sat beneath it, wrapping his arms around his legs and she followed suit.

"Is he gonna be okay?"

Ginta nodded. "It's just really stressing him out. We're really picky about who we tell and we usually  _never, never_  tell humans."

Now that she thought about it, she had not really seen any humans around. It did make sense but - well, she knew her kind did not have the best reputation but she refused to believe that every single one of them was bad. Plus, with the lack of youkais… if they did not tell humans…most of them would end up alone. That thought was enough to bring tears to her eyes; nobody should have to be alone.

"It's not as bad as it sounds," Ginta said with a smirk when he noticed the salty scent of her tears. "We can still  _be_  with someone. Just gotta be careful and if - if it's serious…then we think about it. Nobody's gotten there yet."

It was hard to have a relationship when you had to lie all the time. It was expected but - when you did not share a common past or when you had to be careful not to slip, it created a certain tension and it was never good. Still, Kouga never prevented anyone from going out into the world and trying to get someone. They just had to be careful as fuck and Izu was not. Now, they might all have to pay the price. Hopefully he chose a smart girl or it would all go to hell. Then again, they could always move but - no, they created their roots here and  _Kagome_  was here. It was be very difficult for Kouga to leave her behind. He had just found her after all this time and they all doubted she would follow. And honestly, who could blame her?

"I think it's sad."

"That's just the way it is now." They used to  _eat_  humans and now… well.

"Kouga was looking at me…"

Ginta chortled; oh he knew exactly what Kouga was seeking from Kagome but he was not sure if he should be telling her. It was personal. Although, if she were a youkai she would have known immediately. "Remember the little crash course?"

She nodded.

"He was stressed out so he was looking -"

"For contact," she said, a hint of redness on her cheeks.

"Yup."

How could she have forgotten about that? She barely made it through the conversation without turning red tomato. Though, all the kinds of contacts they shared with her were fairly  _intimate_. Nuzzling? She was not going to nuzzle him. She was human. Could she nuzzle? The thought sparked something inside of her and it earned her a suspicious look from Ginta. This time, it was his turn to be slightly embarrassed and he immediately glanced away from her. At least Kouga had nothing to worry about… although it was not something he wanted to know. Kagome was  _family_.

"You know, you don't have to hang out with me," she said with a smile.

"Hey," he said, offended. "You're pack. You might be Kouga's wo- I mean, you might - you know, but you're like a sister to us. You never bother us."

"I wish I could help."

"You could help Kouga calm down later before he kills everyone."

Her eyes became round and she pinched her lips together. Her ears turned red and she dipped her chin forward, trying to hide her mortification. Did he really need to make subtle calls like that? Kouga and her had not decided anything. She was having fun with him and everything was easy but - there was too much room for screwing up. Not only that but - he was older.  _Much older_. In the past, it did not show that much because he retained that slightly boyish attitude but he was a different man now. He was older, wiser and more mature. She still felt like a little kid. What if - what if she was a little kid crushing while he was just a  _man_?

She could not do that to him. To anyone but him.

She let the flush that crept across her cheeks died down and leaned back into the tree.

When in the world would she finally be able to figure this out?

-U-

Darkness had swallowed the sky by the time people began leaving the house. Most stayed, crashing into the empty rooms outside, while only a few returned to their own home. Luckly for Kagome and Ginta, it did not rain and they were able to spend most of the day outside, chatting. She had heard a few stories of the past from Kouga but she did not get to really catch up with anyone else. A few times Hakkaku joined them but Kouga never came by. She understood that it was his duty to deal with this and he certainely did not have time to come outside and  _chat_  with them when he had more important things to do.

By supper time she had called her mother to inform her she would not be home for dinner. Everyone ordered some pizza and Kagome and Hakkaku ate in the kitchen while Ginta went with the others to catch up for a bit. For the first time, she was uncomfortable, as though she did not belong in the house. Though she understood; it was not her secret that was at risk. She could not really have an input concerning what they were going to do about it. She did feel that she was imposing by staying though. Still, everyone re-assured her that her presence was welcome and that she would never be a bother.

Ginta was actually grateful they managed to convince her to stay. Her presence was probably the only reason why Kouga had not lost his mind. Her aura was soothing him and allowing him to remain in control. They might have the whole  _acting like humans_  thing down but they were not humans. They were animals and usually they acted upon instincts. He knew Kagome had seen a lot of bad stuff during her time in the feudal era but he did not want her to see how bad it could get. Though he did not fail to notice all the concern glances she would give in direction of the living room. Every time Kouga's voice rumbled through the house, her concern only increased.

But now, Kouga would have time for her.

Though he had yet to show up in the kitchen.

The first one to join them was Hakkaku.

"How did it go?"

"He's gonna bring the girl tomorrow."

"Is that wise?"

"What else are we gonna do?"

"How does Kouga feel about it?"

"He's fucking pi-"

" _He doesn't want to talk about it anymore._ "

The sound of his voice shook everyone and they all turned their heads to look at him. Kouga stared straight ahead as he pulled a chair and plumped down beside Kagome. He dropped his arm on the table and then rested his head on it. The guys exchanged a look before nodding to each other.

"We're gonna make sure everyone's set for the night."

And without another word, they left Kagome and Kouga alone.  _Almost subtly._

Kouga sighed. "Sorry. I didn't know it was gonna take so long."

"It's fine, I'm the one who came over u-"

" _I swear if you say uninvited one more time_ ," he said before scoffing, hiding a chuckle.

"Well, this is pack business - it has nothing to do with me."

" _This_  doesn't. Everything else does." He would include her in this but there was nothing she could do. Izu fucked up and now all they could do was clean up the mess. All he hoped was that the girl was not a complete idiot and that there would be a way to fix this whole mess before it was too late. Now, however, he did not want to talk about it; he raged about it enough. His muscles were twitchy, his head was pounding and his guts were twisted; he needed a distraction from all the shit happening.

"Stay," he almost whispered. "Stay the night."

She knew he did not mean it in an intimate manner. It was strange since Kouga was always close to her since their  _meeting_  but this was different. He  _needed_  her and he was not afraid to tell her. Today, with the way he looked at her, she felt like she could take all of his pain away with a single touch. She was almost tempted to try. She was not very at ease with all of this and she had no experience but - she could try? She lifted her hand, the shakiness of it impossible to hide, and approached it to his head. He never moved, he never flinched. Instead, he watched her. She slowly lowered it, her lips dry, forcing her to run her tongue over it.  _And he watched her tongue_.

Then, she tangled her fingers in his hair, messing up his ponytail. "Okay," she murmured back.

He let his eyelids shut, enjoying the feeling of her fingertips caressing his scalp. For a moment, he was not in this house and he certainly was not dealing with all of this stress. It was him and Kagome and he knew he could get used to that. He had been craving for her touch ever since she walked in but he never had the guts to ask. They were not a couple. He was courting her - somewhat. It was not the same thing at all. He did not have the right to ask for her touch but now, she was willingly giving it away and he would be a fool to refuse it. A mere touch from her was enough to soothe away all of his concerns.

Kouga looked so relax that Kagome knew she could not dare to take her hand away. It killed her all day that she could not do anything and finally she could help. It was not much and she would be lying if she said she did not feel the heat spreading in her face but it would not make her stop. In the past, she never touched him - as a matter of fact she shied away most time he came close to her. Now, this closeness felt natural. She was not ashamed of it and it even caused her heart to pound. Her eyes were bright and glossy while she stared at the peacefulness that took over his worried expression. She managed to chase it away.

" _Fuck_ ," he said, never opening his eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked while moving her fingers closer to his bangs.

"We ain't got no rooms."

Most people who came over did not actually leave anywhere nearby - and they were not going to drive back first thing in the morning. He did have a lot of room but he did not have  _that_ many.

"Take my bed," he said, finally revealing his blue orbs.

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"Couch. I'm not gonna sleep anyway."

He had too much to think about and it would prevent him from finding the solace that was rest. He did not like that such an important secret rested upon the fate of a woman he did not know. This is why they had to be careful, this was why so many of them practiced abstinence. Sex was not worth losing everything. Then again, he  _could_  understand. The urges, they never truly went away, even when they suppressed them. They always lingered on the surface, ready to come out. Sometimes, this world was too much and they could slip. Izu was not actually a bad guy. He simply made a mistake. Unfortunately for them, a mistake was not something they could afford to do.

 _"_ I'm not gonna make you sleep on the couch."

If only she knew all the nights he spent on that couch because her scent lingered on his sheets. "I used to sleep on rocks and cold ground. Couch is fine."

She frowned. "No."

Although if she refused to let him sleep on the couch, it did not leave them with many options. One bed. Two people. It was not the best of ideas. She was not going to share a bed with him. She woke up once by his side because apparently in her sleepy haze she had not allowed him to leave but things were different now. They acknowledged that they had in interest in each other. That would make it almost impossible for her to fall asleep with him by her side. The entire time she would be self conscious and - no, she could not.

"I'll take the couch," she finally announced.

He snorted. "Yeah, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"You're not sleeping on the couch?"

"Why not? I'm not a  _guest_ ," she teased. "This is my home too."

"Smartass," he said with a smile.

He finally pulled himself away from the table, forcing her hand to leave his hair. He did not want it to stop but if she kept doing that, he might never leave that table. "We'll do something else tomorrow. I promise."

"It's fine, you're busy. I don't mind."

"I need to get out of here before I lose my mind."

Once this was dealt with, he did not want to see that house for a whole goddamn day. He did not care if he had to spend a day surrounded by a thousand of humans; he simply needed a change of scenery. Having Kagome by his side would be a great bonus.

"Alright then," she said with a smile. "I'll be right back. I have to call my mom to let her know I'm sleeping here."

He nodded and watched her walk away in the living room, her phone in her hand. He did not mean to ask her to stay but he could not bear to watch her go. All day he had to feel her aura, her presence without being allowed by her side; it drove him nuts. Plus, he did not even know how to approach her and deal with their current situation. It had been so long since he  _courted_ someone. On top of her being human she… it was Kagome and he always messed things up with her. Every time she was involved he turned into an idiot.

"You know, there's an easy fix to this whole sleeping arrangement."

"Yeah, I mean your bed is big enough for two people."

"Oh yeah that's right Ginta, it is. Don't you think Kouga should sleep there with Kagome?"

"Why, that's a great idea."

"You two are morons," he said with a glare.

"Come on, you're so worked up, I'm surprise you haven't punched a wall already."

"We saw you on the table, all relax."

"You two idiots were supposed to be helping everyone."

"Turns out they didn't need help," Ginta said with a smile.

"Quit spying. Go to your own rooms."

Hakkaku sighed but both of them went up the stairs anyway. Those two really needed a bit of help from time to time or they were not going to get anywhere. They were too shy and stupid to act on their feelings. Did they think nobody noticed the shift in aura when Kagome was touching him? When was the last time Kouga was at ease like that? It never happened. Something always worked him up. Kagome was the key, she was good for him. And if there was someone who could make Kagome smile it was  _him_. Even though they talked about their feelings they had yet to figure any of it out. It was almost hopeless.

A little bit after the guys left, Kagome re-entered the kitchen, her cellphone nestled in her palm.

"Your mom okay with it?"

She nodded. "I think she's just glad I'm out of the house."

"That bad?"

"It was," she said with a shrug of the shoulders. "Couldn't really figure out what I wanted to do with my life now that I didn't fit anymore. That and I kinda lost touch with everyone here." She tried to call her friends a few times but she no longer had anything to talk about and they had moved on with their lives. Not everyone struggled with their grades - then again, not everyone traveled through time.

"And now?" He did not like to think about her being dejected. Kagome did not deserve that - she went through enough bullshit as it was. He never wanted to make her sad. It was part of the reason why it bugged him so much that she had to see all of this. He did not want to be this stressed out in front of her; he knew she would worry.

"I'm good." And she meant it. He was a big part of that. The pack helped too, it helped her find a balance between the two worlds, one she had not been able to find on her own. She could be herself and that was the greatest feeling in the world.

"Good." He lifted himself from the chair, his body heavy. "Come on, time for tiny humans to sleep."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Tiny humans?"

"Well, I'm so old and you're so young," he teased.

"That's true,  _grandpa_ ," she said, teasingly smacking his stomach.

He laughed, showing a hint of fangs and approached her. He only meant to graze her, touch her, and find comfort in her warmth and before he knew it, both of his hands were on her shoulders. His eyes mets hers and she held his gaze. Kouga allowed his hands to slide down to her elbows and then, all the way to her hands. He did not mean to hold them, he did not mean to intertwine their fingers but it happened and neither of them stopped it. His heart ached with a need and he felt as though she heard the cry coming from deep inside of him.

Kouga swallowed hard, his adam apple bobbing. He wanted to lean in, he wanted to feel her. Except, before he could do anything she herself leaned into his chest. He felt the warmth of her cheek spread through him and he bent his head down to rest it on hers, nuzzling his nose in her hair and inhaling deeply. Her scent was tickling and soothing. She smelled like wild flowers and it drove him insane. He could pick it out of a thousand scents; he could always find her. He let his moist lips touch her head but he never pressed a kiss. He was too tense and her arms, her touch was too welcoming. It was a slippery road he should be avoiding.

"I'm sorry all of this is happening," she said, closing her eyes.

She could hear the thumping of his heart and  _feel_  the racing of his blood. She had never really been this close to anyone before. She tried to focus on his heartbeat instead of hers. Already her hands were becoming moist and she was certain he could notice. Breathing was a little harder as she let nervousness take control of her.

He wanted to tell her she did not have to stress when she was around him but it was not like he was calm and collected. He spent many years in love with her and he hardly ever let go of that feeling. He changed his ways for her even back when he basically did not know the first thing about her. There was just something about Kagome that made everyone be a better person. He wanted to be the best version of himself for her. He thrived to surpass everything he was. He liked who he was when he was around her. He released her left hand and raised it until he was cupping the back of her head, gently petting her hair.

They remained that way for a few moments, his heart swelling. When she pulled away, he intended on letting her. Except he stopped her. His hand dropped from her head to her shoulder and then, there she was, looking up at him with parted lips. She did not make any more attempts at walking away. No instead she looked at him. The temptation was too great and he gave in. Slowly, he inched himself closer to her. He expected her to jerk her head away but she remained perfectly still. By the time he finally stopped, his lips were almost brushing up against hers. If she had not pulled away… did it mean she want it?

When she slightly arched her back, almost closing the infinitely small distance between them, he took it as a hint to continue - and he did. He crashed his lips against hers, claiming her. This time, there was no shock or effect of surprise and she did not need any time to recover. Instead, she immediately returned the kiss though he could feel her usual shyness. There was a bit of awkwardness but he ignored it as he nipped at her bottom lip, letting her sweet taste fill his mouth. He attacked her lips, licking, grazing his fangs, and taking her mouth as his. And she let him. She was not as experienced of a kisser as he was and she allowed him to lead.

He took charge.

Her hands dropped and she laid them flat against his chest, her fingers clenching around the fabric of his white t-shirt. She bundled the fabric, almost tugging at it, and it only increased his need for her. She was fawning her breath against his lips, making small whimpering sounds as he dared to slip his tongue inside of her mouth. He never meant to push it that far but she  _let_  him and he could not bring himself to stop.

That was until her whimpers were accompanied by a  _spark_  of spiciness in her scent.

At that moment he knew he had to pull away.

He let his lips dance against hers a brief moment longer before tearing himself away. He looked at her and smirked. Her eyes were still closed and he could see the daze of confusion on her features while her lips remained bruised and plump.

Kouga moved his lips to her ears, his warm breath puffing against it. "I'm definitively taking the couch," he said before tearing himself away.

It was hard to miss the blush on her cheeks while she stared down at the couch. She knew he was going to kiss her, the look he had given her was very obvious. At first, she did not know how she would react but she quickly realized she wanted this. And after the fact, it was only even more confirmed. She could still feel the linger of his lips against hers and the puddle of desire that formed in the pit of her stomach. A buzz of need traveled through her and she was too ashamed to even look him in the eyes.

"Good night, Kagome," he said, finally releasing his hold on her.

She nodded, her blush more than obvious. "Good night."

Timidly, she made her way to the stairs while he headed for the couch. He plopped down on it, putting his arms behind his head.

 _Yeah_ , he was not getting any sleep tonight.

-U-


	13. One Kiss

The entire floor was silent. Everyone was asleep, already far in dreamland.

 _Except_  for Kagome.

She was wrapped around the light cream coloured sheets, tossing and turning, unable to find rest. Her blood was boiling both with an unknown need and with mortification. She touched her fingers to her lips where the presence of his mouth still lingered.  _That_  was a kiss. They kissed before but it was nothing like this. Last time was messy and weird.  _It was_ still messy and weird now but - different.  _Gah!_  She could not even explain it. She did know it made her body thump with warmth she had never known until now. She might be a virgin but she was not idiot. She did not believe in fairytales, the perfect romance or even prince charming. She was realistic. Her life had been chaotic and it prevented her from being a normal teenager and now from being a normal young adult. It did not mean she was oblivious. She was eighteen years old and so far her kissing track records was  _three_  kisses. Two with Kouga… and one with Inuyasha.

And this was perhaps the most awful time to be thinking about  _him_.

Also, none of that helped with her current predicament. She liked Kouga, there was no escaping that truth. However, it almost felt like it was spinning out of her control. They said they would try, she would try to figure out how she felt, they would get to know each other a bit more, get closer. They might have been friends five hundred years ago but that was a long time - or it was for him. Regardless of that, it did not prevent her from smiling like an idiot because he kissed her. And she worried. A lot - too much. He said this was her home and she herself was even more comfortable here than in her own house and yet she always acted like she was an intruder bothering them. She had one foot in, one foot out. And it was the same with their  _relationship_.

Actually it was the same with  _every_  relationship she had. If her relation with Inuyasha qualified as such. Half in, half out. They were not seeing each other but he sure as hell made a big deal out of it when someone hit on her. And she did not like to see him with Kikyo. Well. Actually, she was all in. He was the one who made it half in and half out. She was willing to go the distance with someone who was not ready to give her the same thing. It did hurt. It was her first love after all. No, it was probably not going to happen again but that feel remained there.

Kagome rapidly shook her head, hoping to chase all thoughts of him away from her mind.  _All that_  was in the past. It was not like she still had feelings for Inuyasha. He was simply the only relationship indicator she ever had and even though she would never see him again, he was a good friend. They had a lot of good moments together and she never got to say goodbye.  _That_  was what made it hard to sleep at night or live her life like everyone else. A chunk of her life was taken from her and she had to pretend it never happened. How could she possibly do that? Then Kouga and the pack came in and all the sudden it was alright to  _remember_  her adventures and all the people she lost.

No time for sad memories. Plus, she did not lose everyone.

She still had Kouga.

Kagome rolled around until she was laying flat on her stomach.  _Sleep_ , she needed to sleep.

If she showed up downstairs with dark circles under her eyes, they would all think it had something to do with them. She was tired of worrying everyone over silly stuff. She shoved her head in the pillow, letting her face rub against the soft, white pillow case. It could not be  _that_  hard to fall asleep could it? She simply needed to shut her mind and forget about Kouga's lips. Easy peasy. She forced her eyes shut and pinched her lips together. And then she waited and waited. Unfortunately for her, no matter how hard she concentrated, no matter how much she wanted to fall asleep, her mind refused to let her find peaceful rest.

Again, she sighed.

She moved herself away from the pillow and then laid it flat against the bed's headboard. She then pulled herself in a sitting position, leaning against it. Kagome wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her head on her knees. She glanced around, looking at his bedroom. It was not her first time in here. She always borrowed - or stole actually - his bedroom whenever she came over. At least she was wearing her own pyjamas. After sleeping over so often, she had made sure to leave her soft, light pink, covered in bunnies, pyjamas behind, just in case. Although, it was not exactly the most  _mature_  choice - but it was awfully comfortable.

Good thing she did that or she might have had to wear  _his_  clothes. She did that  _once_. She could still remember the smell of his shirt and the way she had embarrassingly inhaled it. She could not imagine  _sleeping_  in his clothes. Her eyes darted left, then right before finally, she jumped to her feet. It was not her bedroom and it was his private stuff and yet she found herself wanting to look around. She did not know much about  _this_  Kouga. She could tell he changed and he was not as young, as reckless, but he still retained the same core. He was a good person. She approached his cherry wooden dresser, letting her fingers run across the edge. That was where he kept his shirt - or at least it was when she borrowed one.

Her fingers dragged down and she kept on walking. There were no pictures, no real decorations; furniture and a bed. She knew this was their home and yet it did not feel much like a home. She even though this was an empty bedroom the first time. Why would he want memories in there? Then again, he could hardly judge; she did not know everything they went through during the past five hundred years. Things changed and life was not the same for them anymore. Kouga did not share much and he said it was fine but she could see it in his eyes. Little glimpse of the past, fleeting memories. It was more obvious when they went camping and everyone was allowed to transform.

Finally she reached the bedroom door. It was closed and staring back at her. Kouga was downstairs, probably not sleeping as he had mentioned. She knew the whole conflict weighted on him and she truly wished there was something she could do about it. The whole pack might be at risk and they were her family as well.

She reached out for the handle, wanting to see him, talk to him and perhaps distract him from the troubles at hand but she stopped herself. Already, a blush was creeping upon her cheeks. She knew exactly what it would look like if she went downstairs in the middle of the night. Especially considering how they said goodnight. Her hand hovered above the handle, uncertainty traveling through her.  _But_  Kouga might need to talk or vent. He did not have to talk about the conflict , which he clearly wanted to avoid for the time being, but she might be a distraction. At the moment he was downstairs, all by himself and that probably did not help.

Kagome sighed before wrapping her fingers around the doorknob. She silently opened it, slid out and then closed it behind her. She inspected the hallway, making sure nobody was there. Once the way was clear, she began heading downstairs. If Kouga was awake, he would already hear her coming but she still made sure to be as quiet as possible. Even though the entire floor probably knew she was awake, which only made her blush color further red. She could already  _imagine_  all the thoughts going through Hakkaku and Ginta's minds at the moment. She would surely hear a couple of innuendos about this in the morning.

After a few moments, she reached the last step which creaked beneath her foot. She winced, but kept going regardless. She tried to lean in towards the living room, hoping to catch a glimpse of Kouga but she did not. Could it be that he was asleep after all? The stress of the day might have exhausted him. Still, she kept walking until she reached the edge of the couch. As expected, she found Kouga,  _sleeping_. One of his legs was hanging off the couch, his foot planted firmly into the ground. He had one arm thrown over his head, covering his eyes, and he was still fully clothed.  _He was way too big for the couch._  There was no way it was comfortable for him; his neck was even all sort of twisted.

 _She had to give him his bed back_. How could he even say that it was alright for her to take his bed? She was felt like a jerk. Although, if she woke him up, she would also feel like a jerk. She shifted her weight from her left foot to her right one repetitively, unsure of how to proceed.  _She should let him sleep_. Even if clearly was confined to a small space. Next time, she would not let him convince her to use his bed.  _He_  would get it. She let her eyes roam over his sleeping form for a second longer before beginning to tear herself away from him. There was no way she would be able to sleep now. Not only was her mind buzzing with thoughts but guilt was now nestled in her chest.

Kagome would have made it upstairs.

If Kouga had not stopped her.

Before she was able to pull away from the couch, he gripped her wrist with his hand. The unexpected tug caused her to gasp. Rapidly, she turned her head to the left, only to find Kouga staring at her. His fingers were gently wrapped around her wrist but he made sure to use enough strength so that she could not pull away. His blue eyes were coated with a daze of haziness while he scanned her body from head to toe.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice coarse from the sleep.

She shook her head. "Nothing."

"Why did you come downstairs?" He did not mind. However, his instincts kicked into alert for a moment. He had been sleeping when he felt the flash of her aura and immediately he thought something happened to her. She was right though; she  _seemed_  fine.

"I- I wanted to make sure you were okay." And she could not sleep. And she felt bad. But she was not going to tell him  _all_ of that.

Gently, he let go of her arm and then, he slowly sat up on the couch before running his fingers through his hair. "It's stressful but nothing we haven't dealt with before."

"I know. I wish it wasn't so complicated and I thought - I thought you would be here awake." She grimaced. "Sorry I woke you up."

He shook his head. "I wasn't really sleeping." He only managed to doze off for a few minutes here and there.  _She_  was part of it and the whole baby thing was the main part of his problem. It was why he managed to sense her so easily.

Kagome stared at him and then the empty spot on the couch before deciding to sit down by his side. Their arms brushed up and he turned his head to look at her. "I was thinking, maybe I could talk to the girl. I've been there. Well not  _pregnant_  but I've been the  _what do you mean youkais_  girl." She shrugged her shoulders. "I know it wouldn't be much but maybe it would help her to have another human girl around."

"It could be a good idea," he said, never looking away from her.

He hated the fact that she had to see him so stressed out. It was part of their life now; everything was a risk, everything had to be a secret. They were not free like humans. Every move had to be calculated, they had to blend in, make sure they did not attract unwanted attention.

"I just don't know why he did that."

"Did what?"

"Go after a girl like that."

"I was under the impression that that's what guys do," she said with a smile.

"Not us. We can't," he replied, his tone much more serious than hers. "We can't just go around sleeping with everybody because then stupid shit like this happens. He should have known better. Plus, it's not in our nature to just  _whore_  ourselves around." Wolves mated, they found one person and they were loyal. Although, yes everyone had needs. Still, pleasure was a luxury and not many of them could afford it. Not when the stakes were so high. Their lives might look alright but it was more complicated than it appeared to be.

"I'm sorry," she said, moving her hand so that it rested on his.

"Not your fault."

She was close, her soft skin brushing up against his and there was only one thing he wanted to do; close the distance and nuzzle his nose in the crook of her neck. He did not dare though. She let him kiss her earlier but he did not want to step over too many boundaries. They were  _testing_  this whole thing out and he did not want to push her away. Every day that went by, he was more and more certain that this was what he wanted. However, he did not know how she felt and he did not want to bring it up. She would tell him when she was ready. Meanwhile, he would wait for her because  _this_  was it for him.  _She_  was it. He would make sure not to make any of the mistakes he did in the past.

But it was tempting, very tempting. Especially since like he told her, they could not go around and be with whoever they wanted. They were limited. But, he had her and he was lucky.

Kagome stared at their hands, a feeling of warmth spreading through her body. There was something about his aura, it was like it was tickling against her skin, warming her body up. It made her went to lean into him, into his touch. She dared to tilt her head to the side, letting it rest against his shoulder. He did not bulge, he did not flinch. He let her. Then, he moved his hand and intertwined their fingers together. She squeezed gently and let her thumb brush up against the side of his hand. She tried to ignore the fact that her cheeks were on fire and let herself relax. If she ignored her embarrassment, it was  _nice_ , calm and soothing to have him nearby.

Kouga turned his head, nestling his nose in her hair, inhaling her scent and letting it travel through him. He would be lying if he said it was not better with her downstairs with him. If they stayed like this, he might actually fall asleep. He was also slightly surprised that  _she_  initiated it but he would not complain.

She held back a smile while she felt digging his nose through her hair. Ginta and Hakkaku's words were fresh in her mind and she knew it helped her relax. He knew what to do; not only were his instincts driving him but he was not as unexperienced as she was. Every time she thought about doing something, she drew a blank. She did not know how to act or be around a guy. The simple thought of touching him, running her fingers across his tan, warm skin and she was already blushing deep red. There was no way she would actually be able to any of that. He touched her like it was natural, like he had done it his whole life.

He kissed her and she ran upstairs to  _hide_.

Clearly she did not have the whole relationship thing down. Which is why sometimes she felt like a high school kid with a crush while he was more mature and serious. It was not like she was taking the whole thing as a joke. It meant a lot to her, which was why she had no intention of screwing it up or hurting Kouga. She did like him, she did want to be with him. She simply did not want to make a mistake that would cost her everything she held dear. It was best to have him in her life as a friend than not having him at all. Although she did like this, what they were now. He kissed her and he set her whole body on fire. How could she walk away from that?

Now that he touched her, kissed her… could she backtrack? Even if it did not work, could he go back to what they were before? It felt like the only way to go for them was up, not down. The same problems as before were there but it never stopped her growing feelings. She  _liked_  him.

"Kouga?"

"Mm?" The sound of his voice rumbled against her head.

Words wanted to be spoken but she did not know how to say them. Clearly, she was mortified. Yet there he was, waiting for her to speak. Why did she open her big mouth again? What would she say? What would it change? There was this need deep inside of her. She did not want him to hurt and she did not want to be away from him. He was like a soothing balm on all of her wounds but she wanted him to be more than that. She did not want to be with him simply because he salvaged her from the darkness of her life. She wanted to be with him because of who he was. And she liked who he was. Maybe the lack of sleep was clouding her mind or maybe it was the closeness but…

At that moment she had to admit she was screwed because  _she_  did want  _this_.

Not only because he was from her past. Not only because she forgot the pain.

But because being with him felt right. Whenever something was wrong, her thoughts went to him. Whenever she was happy, she thought of him. She wanted to forget how screwed up she was, all the pain.

However, those words would not slip her lips and it forced her to use actions over words. Timidly, she pulled her head away from him. He looked at her, clearly still waiting for her to speak. She did not say a single word. Instead, she slowly inched her lips closer to his until they touched. At first he stayed still and she felt the heat coming to her cheeks. But then, he cupped the side of her face with his large hand, holding her in place while his lips moved against hers. She let her palms lay flat against his chest and she leaned in even closer. Kagome allowed herself to get lost in the moment, feeling alive, the rush of  _happiness_ , enveloping her.

After a moment, she was forced to pull away for air. Kouga rested his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed. He was not exactly sure of the meaning behind her actions but he was not about to complain. He needed it. Everything was crappy and she made it better. He always said he would give her space, let her go to her own pace but he almost wanted to be selfish. He did not want her to go back upstairs. He wanted her to stay with him.

And he told her. " _Stay_."

She tilted her head to the left, almost as though she was unable to look into his eyes. "Mmhm."

She  _kissed_  him and she was still too shy to speak up. She did not think she was ever going to get over that. Kagome leaned closer into him and she felt him lean back into the couch, his arm around her. The bed remained the obvious best choice but there was no way in hell she was going to suggest that. Then again, the couch might be just fine; neither of them had the intention of sleeping.

Kouga closed his eyes, his palm resting against her back. Her heart drummed against his chest and he could feel the heat of her blush through his shirt. He wanted to stay like this. Each time, it became harder to let go. Each time she gave him a taste, he wanted more. It was in his nature. He was not made to love many women at once. He was not made to be volatile. He chose her. Despite everything he told himself, he let his heart open up to her. He would not force her, he would respect her decision but it did not mean it was not going to hurt like hell if she turned him down.

Having her in his arms felt right and he was not ready to let go of that feeling just yet.

-U-

_Eyes_.

Many pair of eyes.

She blinked once. Then twice.

 _Nope_ , she was not dreaming. There were definitively people staring at her. She shifted uncomfortably before fully opening her eyes. Right there, hovering on top of her was Ginta and Hakkaku with big smiles on their faces.  _Why were they smiling like idiots_? She blinked again. She laid her palm flat, trying to lift herself, only to realize two things. One, something strong was preventing her from getting up. Two, what her palm was resting against was not a bed - or a couch. It was a hard, muscular chest. Her eyes bugled and she looked back only to see Kouga with his eyes closed, his arm draped around her. She gasped before her entire face turned red.

No wonder they were smiling.

"Nice sleep?" Ginta asked.

"Bed would be more spacious." Hakkaku added.

"Yeah, you could, have more room."

"For activities and stuff."

"Yeah, and stuff."

If she could have sunk into the ground, disappearing into a pit of hollowness, she would have.

"And if ya don't both shut  _up_ , she'll be scraping you off the floor.  _How's that for activities and stuff?"_

Ginta gulped and Hakkaku backed away.  _He was awake_.

Kouga growled, as a last warning, and he heard the two of them scamper off. Although he was fully awake, he kept his arm around her. She had yet to say anything or express a real desire to be free. He had woken up first. She had been snuggled up in the crook of his neck, her warm breath tickling him, while her lips teasing his skin. He had been forced to shift their position slightly. He was not an animal.  _Well he sort of was_. But he was not like a wild beast who had no control on his own instincts. He could lay with Kagome perfectly innocently. His body might have something else in mind, a very uncomfortable situation lurking, but he was not going to  _pounce_  her.

Still, he chose to move her.

And she had no woken up.

Not until those two idiots began staring.

"They're a little excited," he said as he finally opened his eyes.

She leaned back into his chest, letting the tension leave her body. It was not as though she was ashamed that they found her in this situation with Kouga. Although, she never expected either of them to fall asleep. Especially not him. It had been so warm, so comfortable. She did not even remember when she closed her eyes and let sleep claim her. His presence had been soothing enough that she forgot about all the troubles that filled her mind. Then again,  _he_  had been a major part of the thoughts trotting in her head. It would make sense that being by his side would help her forget. It had been a while since she had slept so soundly.

"I know."

And it was partly her fault; she asked  _them_  about wolf courting. Although, she was not quite ready to share that detail with Kouga yet. Even if she took a step last night.

"The others are starting to wake up too," he warned her.

He had no problem with people finding them in such a position but she might. They would assume things - more than they already were. She might not want to project an image of something she did not want. He let his hold on her loosened, almost making the decision for her.

"Are you hungry?" he asked while she sat up on the couch.

On cue, footsteps were heard coming from up the stairs. The others were coming down to deal with the problem which meant the girl would be there soon.

"I'll go in the kitchen. Give you guys some space," she said with a smile.

For a second, it felt awkward. They had now kissed twice - well  _three times_ , but twice since they started being honest with each other about their feelings. Her dating experience sucked and could not be relied upon. Should she? Could she?

He solved the dilemma for her. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "It's the last day of this crap." No matter what way it went, whatever happened, happened. It was almost too late to do anything at this point. Izu should have been careful in the first place. All they could do was try and control the mess.

"It's gonna be okay," she said before rising a trembling hand and cupping the side of his face.

He might have slept but she did not miss the  _tiredness_  in his eyes. His body rested but his mind did not. She would do what she could to help soothe away some of the stress. That started with making sure he did not have to worry about her.

After a few seconds, she got up and others began to gather in the living room. She left them be and went into the kitchen where she found Ginta, sipping coffee out of a green mug.

"Not a word," she warned.

He smiled. "Why what happened?" he asked innocently.

"It wasn't like that."

"Of course not."

"Did ya  _nuzzle_?" Hakkaku teased as he popped from behind her.

" _Guys!_ " she said, her face turning a deep shade of red. "Why don't you go join them, this concerns you too."

"Nah, we're fine here."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest, attempting to look imposing. "I don't need a babysitter." They opened their mouth, ready to protest, but she did not give them the chance. "Go! I'm gonna go enjoy… some sunlight," she said as she marched all the way to the back door. She never turned around and she pretended that their pleas fell upon deaf ears.

Kagome loved the day she spent with them but she did not want them excluded because of her. They should be up to date with what was happening with their pack. It was not forever, it was for a few hours. Did she not say she would speak with the girl? They would see her then. For now, they should go and participate in the pack's discussion. Kagome pushed the door opened, forgetting she was in her pyjamas and stood on the back porch. It was indeed a beautiful day with the sun shining high in the sky. It was better than yesterday; before it was a sign of things to come. There had to be some way of making the girl understand?

What could Kagome tell her that would make a difference?

The only reason all of this made any sense was because she was thrown into it with no way out. After getting captured by a centipede and having a jewel ripped out of her body… it was kind of hard  _not_  to believe. And once she spent so much time with everyone, how could she not care? That was the problem. The girl did not know the pack, the history, the gravity of the situation. It would be hard for her to understand and Kagome could not blame her. A sigh rolled off her lips as she took another step forward before walking all the way around and finding her way to the front porch. She sat down on the first step, resting her chin in her palm.

She stared away at the street, watching the very few people walk by. Her eyes glanced over their faces until one felt awfully familiar. There, with a plastic bag in her hand was a girl with dark blue eyes and short brown hair.  _Yuka_? When was the last time she saw her? Probably a few times after she returned to the modern era  _full time_. It had been hard to stay friends after she missed so much. Her friends did want to stay in her life but she made it hard. She could not connect with them, she had not lived the same things as them. It was too difficult and back then she simply did not have the heart to try. She gave up and she let them slip away.

She saw her getting further and further away. "Yuka?" she tried calling out.

Suddenly, the girl stopped in her tracks and turned her head. She dipped it forward, clearly squinting. "Kagome?" Her jaw went slack. "Kagome!" She began running, her bag hitting her thigh with each step she took. "I can't believe it's you!" she said as she threw her arms around Kagome. "It's been forever. I mean, we called - but you never picked up."

And now she felt even more like crap.

"I mean, we thought it had something to do with Inuyasha. But then, you just - are you okay?"

Kagome nodded. "I'm really sorry. I just - it was a hard time."

Again, she had to somewhat lie. It was what she always had to do and it was the reason why she did not call back her friends. They would have eventually noticed the loneliness creeping up inside of her and she would not have been able to explain it. Lying could get heavy and she did not think she had the energy to put up with it anymore. At the time, giving up felt like the best option. As she stared at her friend, she realized something. There was something different about her. There were dark circles under her eyes, her skin had an ashy glow to it, almost as if she was sick. Also, her cheeks were sunken in. She did not look like the happy Yuka she used to know. People changed, things happened but what could have made her friend so miserable?

"A-are you alright?"

The question quickly made Yuka uncomfortable. Kagome knew that look; it was the one she herself had when she was trying to come up with a lie. For a moment, she saw a haze of darkness cloud her friend's eyes but as quickly as it had appeared, it disappeared. Yuka pinched her lips, forced a smile and rapidly nodded her head. "Of course."

"Yuka - "

But Kagome was not able to finish her sentence because of friend's expression shifted. She was no longer staring at Kagome, no instead she was staring at something behind her. Her lips were parted and her skin was ghostly white. A tremble took hold of her body and suddenly, the darkness in her dark blue eyes was back. She even took a step back and Kagome worried. She did not have a chance to voice that concern because Yuka was the first to speak.

"Kagome, do you live here?"

Kagome frowned, even more confused than she was before. Yuka knew she lived at the shrine. Did she think her life changed that much in so little time? "Live- live here? What no. Why?"

"I just -" But she could not speak. The situation was weird enough as it was but - but why was Kagome here? She was not supposed to be here.

And then she fell silent but she lifted one of her hands. Inside, tucked between two fingers was a piece of paper. Kagome leaned forward to read what was written on it; it was Kouga's address.

Why did Yuka have a piece of paper with Kouga's address written on it.

_Why did -_

_Oh. God._

Yuka - Yuka was the pregnant human girl!

-U-


	14. Harsh Truth

_This was not happening. This was not real._

Yuka was part of her other world, her normal life - at least the one she used to have. She certainly was not pregnant - with an hanyou. How -  _what_. Kagome felt her heart racing as she glanced at her friend, her lips parting. Words refused to leave her mouth while her chest heaved. She had two lives; the I travel in the past life and the hello I'm a normal high school girl life. Those two did not collide. Alright, they did when Inuyasha met her friends but that was it. Except for that they were two different worlds and she never even though -  _how was this happening?_

"You're pregnant," she finally blurted out.

She watched while Yuka's dark blue eyes widened and she instinctively brought a hand to her stomach. Her short dark brown locks covered her face while she leaned forward. Her fingers wrapped around the yellow fabric of her shirt, bunching it in bundles. "H-how did you know?"

"I - I know Izu." Although lying as pointless because in a few moments, her friend would know the truth - about everything. There would be no hiding, no pretending - no more lying like she used to do. It would all be out in the open. She thought it would be a good idea to speak with whomever was coming but she never thought it would be  _Yuka_.

" _He told you_?" She rubbed her lips together, before swallowing hard. She ran her fingers through her hair, tangling it, feeling the sweat sliding against her fingers. "Do- do you know why I'm here?"

Yuka would never forget the moment she told Izu. His face changed, an animalistic look in his eyes and then, once he recovered, all she saw was fright. She was scared as well but - it was something else. He looked like someone ripped his heart out and stumped over it. He wanted to flee but he stayed. At least for a moment. After that, he left and she did not hear about him for two days - then came the phone call. Her heart had been beating so hard, she barely heard anything. Except that he wanted her to come over to his house. It was then that she realized she did not know much about him. They went on a few dates. She liked him. He seemed reticent from time to time…always pulling away from her. It was when she decided to take the big step.

It did not exactly turned out like she had expected.

They were safe, they really were; as a matter of fact, Izu had been paranoid about protection.

But it did not seem it was enough and now, she had no idea what was happening.

"M—" Kagome wanted to tell her everything but this was not the time, the location. She could not tell her everything about youkais  _now_ , outside for anyone to listen. Not only that but Kagome had a feeling Yuka was going to freak out  _a little_. This could not be a public scene. They needed to get inside and - oh she would need to explain all of this to the pack. She could already feel a headache coming. But this was not about her - it was about her friend. She moved closer to Yuka and slowly intertwined their fingers. She squeezed her friend's hand, never missing the tremble of fear that traveled through her friend's body.

"I need to tell you something."

"Yuka?"

At the sound of the unfamiliar voice, Kagome turned her head. There, in the doorway was Izu. His green eyes were slanted as he watched the interaction between the two girls. His short brown hair was messy, flatten to his head, probably greasy. If she looked hard enough, she could see dark circles beneath her eyes, showing how exhausted he was. He looked like he was carrying the world upon his shoulders. She saw the same kind of look in Kouga's eyes when he talked about sharing their secret with a perfect stranger. This was an internal conflict for them. Love was not a luxury all of them could afford and a family seemed to be an even rarer gift.

"Izu."

Immediately, Yuka released Kagome's hand and hopped the stairs. She quickly ran to find comfort into Izu's arms. She buried her head in his chest, letting her tears stain his white t-shirt. Kagome watched him swallow, quickly uncertain, before wrapping an arm around her friend's waist. He did not seem to want any kind of intimacy with Yuka. He appeared quite awkward as she pressed her body against his. Had they not been together before? Why was he like this? Was it because he did not want this or because he was afraid of Yuka's reaction to the whole  _youkai_  thing? She did not know him well enough to form an opinion.

Izu's focus shifted and he looked at Kagome, clearly confused. The girl appeared quite close but he doubted they had gotten to know each other over the span of a few minutes.

"I think Yuka and I should talk  _first_ ," Kagome said as she marched towards the step. She put a foot down on the first creaked, white wooden step, her eyes never lingering away from Izu's face. There was a loud thump as her black shoe made contact with the ground.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Izu finally answered as he tightened his hold on Yuka.

Kouga was their leader and he respected that. He also respected what Kagome did for their tribe back then but it did not change the fact that she was not one of them. She did not have to carry the same kind of burden and it would not have any consequences on her and her life. It was their secret not hers. She was pack because Kouga made her so but nothing actually tied her to them. She could turn her back on them whenever she wanted to and she could leave. They were not her people. He appreciated her input, the fact that she was trying to help, but this was situation he should be handling without her. She did not know how important this was.

"Well, I do," Kagome answered a little defensively.

Yuka was her friend. She knew her more than Izu did and she could help her brace herself for the news. Kagome went through it and the two of them shared a friendship. She would finally be able to explain all of the mysterious illness she had during school and it might even make all of this a lot more believable. She stayed out of it as much as she could but now there was no way she could  _not_  get involved?

"I'll deal with this."

"What is going on?"

Yuka pulled herself away from Izu, pressing her palms against his chest to create distance between them. His arm fell into the emptiness while she searched his eyes for an answer. She tucked a loose strand of brown hair behind her ear, her nervousness bubbling inside of her. Why was it that everyone seemed to know more than her about this? What were they keeping from her?

"Yuka -"

"I'll explain," Izu said, cutting Kagome off.

Before their anger levels could rise any higher, they were interrupted. The door slammed against the door violently, the wood creaking, wanting to give up under the sheer amount of force used. It held up, not before it bounced back, nearly slamming shut in Kouga's face. He stopped it in time, his hand gripping at the edge of the door. He pushed it fully open and stepped outside. The gentle breeze made his black shirt flow and sent his dark, long ponytail swinging. His eyes shifted from Izu, to Yuka and he finally settled his gaze on Kagome. He breathed out through his nostrils, causing them to flare. She was upset and somehow he had a feeling it had something to do with Izu.

"What's happening?"

"I'm trying to talk to Yuka," Izu explained.

"She's  _my_  friend," Kagome said as she put her hands on her hips, her temper flaring. She did not know Izu; she knew nothing about him except the fact that he was apparently reckless. If he knew what he did could do so much damage then he should have been careful and he should not be taking his anger out on her. It was not her fault that he made a mistake.

Kouga frowned. "You know her?"

"We've been friends since we were kids."

Kouga put his hand on Izu's shoulder and squeezed. He controlled himself, making sure that his claws were not poking out. He did not want to be the one to do the big reveal. He did recognize the possessiveness in Izu's actions, which was why he made sure to be careful. He was strong yes, but he did not want to go against one of his own who had his instincts on full drive. Still, Kouga's own instincts were itching at him. He did not like the way Izu treated Kagome. He had felt her aura flare from all the way inside. He had rushed her as fast as he could, only to find them in a dominance fight and as expected Kagome was not backing down.

"Come inside," he said to Izu.

"What?" he snapped.

"Kagome needs to talk to her friend."

Izu's reached out for Yuka again and he wrapped his fingers around her wrist, making sure to hurt her.

"Let her go."

Izu was not even given the chance to since Yuka tugged herself free all on her own. She pulled herself away from Izu, holding her wrist close to her chest while gently rubbing it. She always thought Izu was a little different; he had this  _air_  about him that she could never quite figure out and it was what drew her to him in the first place. However, this time, it was scaring her more than anything else. She took shallow breaths as she allowed her gave to travel to Kagome. She did not know what was happening but Kagome seemed to know all about it. Her presence was much more soothing than Izu's at the moment. She scooted over to where Kagome was standing, their arms bumping together.

"Come inside, let the girls talk," Kouga said in a firm voice.

Izu was reluctant but he followed Kouga. His steps were slow and he kept glancing back but he always kept on walking.

Kagome let out a sigh of relief before grabbing her friend's hand once more. They had a lot to talk about.

-U-

"Youkais." Yuka's shoulders slouched. "Wow."

Kagome bit her bottom lip, allowing the information to sink in. Yuka had remained silent for most of the talk; she barely asked any questions. Kagome did her best to be as thorough as possible but - she had never been in Yuka's situation. She expected her friend to laugh, to call her crazy but then again with the scene that occurred upon her arrival… it must not have seemed that crazy. Unless she was under shock? Kagome was thrown into it, bitten by a giant centipede… she had no choice  _but_  to believe everything that was happening to her. Yuka had options. Worried, Kagome reached out and covered Yuka's hand with her own.

"I know this is crazy…"

"Crazy?" Yuka scoffed. "This isn't even anywhere  _near_  crazy… Kagome … I can't.. I mean I can't."

"You can't tell anyone."

"What?"

"Yuka, this is their life. There is no choice; if everyone learns about them… they're going to hide. And they will lose their lives and it'll be over." She thought her friend would understand… She was confused too but she - she never wanted to hurt anyone. Which was why she spent her entire life lying, no matter how much it hurt her, no matter how much it destroyed her life and left her an empty shell. Surely Yuka could understand that?

"I -" She closed her mouth, and re-opened it, uncertain. "I - I'm supposed to lie to everyone?"

"What do you mean?"

"You talked about hanyous- you said… that's what my baby would be."

"Yes."

"So what? If I can't tell anyone, I can't tell my family. What am I supposed to do?" She shrugged her shoulders. "Leave them all behind? Never see them again? Never show them my child?" She removed her hand, tugging it away from Kagome's reach. "I'm supposed to be alone? Without them? Izu and I aren't in love Kagome. I should just hope it'll work out?" There was desperation in her voice, a sadness coming from deep inside of her. "This isn't my life Kagome. I'm not you. I don't want this. I don't wanna be alone."

"No, no," Kagome said as she reached out for her. "You won't be alone." There would be spells, they could hide the fact that her child was hanyou. "You can see your family. You don't understand."

"I don't wanna live this life."

"Yuka…"

Yuka rose from the bed, creating as much distance between herself and Kagome. "I don't want this." Tears began to form in her eyes and in a matter of seconds, the droplets began dripping down her cheeks. Her mouth twisted, her chest was hollow and she thought she was going to puke. It was not supposed to be like this. She already thought - she thought it was a difficult situation… but she never imagined it would be like this. A baby, she could deal with but a hanyou? She could never pull it off. She could not be a mother to - to  _that_. And she did not want to be away from her family, living here with all of these weird people.

"This - I can't do this, Kagome."

"Yuka, it's a lot to take in, I understand."

"No, no that's the thing. You don't understand. You're fine with this. You want this. I don't."

"Maybe if you just give it some time…" She felt desperate but she was running out of options. She did not want her friend to make a hasty decision because she was confused. She needed time to calm down, to process everything that was happening.

" _I won't tell anyone,"_  she shouted. "But I can't do this."

Her heart was shattering with every word she spoke. She never thought this was a decision she would make. Her life should not have turned out like this. It was not what she had in mind for herself. She - she had to take a life. Could she do that? No. How? But - but the other option was not any better.

"Yuka, you can. I can help you."

"No." Her bottom lip trembled. "I'm sorry."

Before Kagome even had the time to go after her friend, she was already running down the stairs, rushing outside. Everyone thought the girls were talking upstairs - would anyone stop her in time? They were fast but Yuka was nothing but human and she was already panicked; a little thing could frighten her and it would not help.

She heard the footsteps echoing against the stairs, and then the voices. Unfortunately she could not hear anything they were saying. She rushed to her feet and made her way downstairs as fast as her legs allowed her. By the time she reached the bottom of the stairs, Yuka was nowhere to be seen. Kagome did not even have a chance to look for her that she felt someone grab her by the shirt. Next thing she knew, she was being pressed up against the nearest wall. A yelp of pain escaped her lips as she winced while her back collided with the hard wall. She crouched in pain, trying to tug herself free but she was unable to do so.

" _What did you tell her?"_

Kagome opened her eyes, painfully, and found herself staring into Izu's green eyes. "What did you tell Yuka?"

"Nothing you wouldn't have told her!" she screamed back as she wrapped her hands around Izu's wrist. She tried to pull but he would not bulge. She did not want to do this but she felt a certain threat to her life. She knew nothing could happen to her and yet, she could feel his aura sizzling against hers, as though he was trying to provoke a reaction out of her. Why did he keep seeing her as the enemy? She was trying to help him, she was trying to help her friend. The more she got to know about him, the less she understood what Yuka saw in him. He was rude, violent and aggressive. He was a very dislikable person.

She left a surge of power leave her hand and suddenly, his skin began to burn. Instead of making him release her, it only made him angrier. He tightened his hold on her, his fingers threatening to grab her neck. His claw brushed up against her skin, drawing a tiny amount of blood. He never had the chance. Before Kagome could use her powers, Izu was yanked away from her. The pull was so powerful, he was sent flying on the mahogany coffee table. It broke under his weight, leaving him in a pile of shattered wood. He was not knocked out for long as he quickly hurried to his feet in a defensive stance. He already knew who pulled him away from Kagome and he would need to be on his guard.

Kouga on the other hand completely ignored everything happening around him. He was seeing red; he wanted blood. All he could smell was Kagome's blood. That was the moment he lost it. He tried to remain in control, he even watched while her pink aura emerged from her body and burned Izu's flesh. However, when he saw the droplets of red, he was a goner. Even now, with his fangs sticking out, his icy blue eyes focused, he could barely think straight. It did not matter that she was not his woman, he saw her as his a long time ago and now that he was - not himself… he had to protect Kagome. He  _needed_  to protect her.

"Kouga!" Kagome shouted as she tried to run towards the two of them.

Unfortunately for her, she was stopped by two pairs of arms. She looked left and right and saw Ginta and Hakkaku were trying to prevent her from going any further.

"It's dangerous, Sis."

"I have to stop this." It started because of her and she could handle Izu on her own. She saw this look in Kouga's eyes as though he was not himself and to be honest, she was not sure what he was capable of. She knew there were darker side of him that she never truly got to see; he used to raid and kill humans before they met. He even used to eat them. They were sides of him that - that were dark and dangerous and apparently Izu just pushed his buttons to a new limit.

"I can stop this."

"I'm not letting you go."

Ginta was not usually  _forceful_  with her but he had no choice. Kouga was animalistic at the moment and although he would never hurt Kagome, she could get hurt during this fight and then, Kouga would never forgive them. The best they could do was protect Kagome and make sure she stayed away from all kind of danger.

"Ginta, I can't stay here and let this happen."

" _It's dangerous -"_

Kagome did not even have a chance to retaliate. Instead, a deep snarl echoed through the room and everyone looked at Kouga and Izu. Kouga's claws were out and he was ready to shred Izu to pieces. Kagome watched, her chest heaving with each breath; she had to do something. It was not the first time she found herself in such a situation. Inuyasha used to lose control all the time and he never hurt her. Kouga had to have better control; he was a full youkai. It was okay, she could do this. She took a deep breathe and then, closed her eyes as she let her power flare. Both Ginta and Hakkaku retracted their arms rapidly, shot by the pain. She would have to apologize later.

She took the momentary distraction and made a run for it. She closed her eyes and ignored everything as she rushed towards Kouga. She launched herself at him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She buried her face in his back, making sure to keep her aura away, not wanting to provoke him any further. At first, she felt his body stiff under her hold but she never let go. He twitched, probably trying to break free, but he never pulled away. She could hear the sound of people moving and she assumed they were gathering around Izu to prevent him from attacking while Kagome was holding on to Kouga. A few tears puddled in the corner of her eye but she did not let them fall.

Eventually, she felt his breathing slow down, and he relaxed in her arms. His aura was still flaring but he had calmed down. She took that opportunity to snake her way around until she was standing in front of him. He was not looking at her; he was watching ahead, his eyes void of any kind of emotions. She dared to raise a hand, a slight tremble inflicted upon her, and she gently cupped his cheek. Even though he still did not make eye contact, he leaned into her touch. This should be soothing to him. She let her thumb caress his tan skin, while her other hand traveled down his chest, all the way down to his hip where she rested it.

"Kouga, it's okay.  _I'm okay_."

He bore his fangs, clearly unsure of how to proceed. In front of him, three people were tying Izu down and he was no longer a threat. He could leave, he could lean into her touch.

Since it was not enough, Kagome moved forward and let her nose brush up against his neck. She nuzzled him, her lips sometimes teasing his flesh. She let her warmth surround him and little by little she could feel his aura retreating. After a few moments, he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face into her hair, inhaling the sweet scent.

She raised her head slightly until her nose touched his ear. "Let's go outside." Upstairs would have probably been better but she wanted to get him away from the house and away from Izu. Outside seemed like the best idea.

Kouga did not nod but he did begin moving. However, he had no intention of letting her untangle herself from him. Instead, he moved his hands until they were under her knees and then, he lifted her up from the ground. She gasped but he kept moving, leaving everyone behind while he headed outside. Nobody moved, nobody said anything.

Kagome rested her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

-U-

A white mug.

Nothing was more interesting than that right?

Kagome let her finger run across the white rim as she mindlessly looked it, doing her best to ignore all of the pair of eyes staring at her. She was fine. They did not need to worry about her.

Kouga and her had spent a few hours together before he said he needed to clear his head. She watched him disappear into the woods, probably turning into a wolf, while she remained behind. She knew he was not human. She knew the problem was not her. There were something she could not fix. She wished she could talk to him about it but it was not the way it did things. They were bounds to have some differences and she could deal with that. Nonetheless, it did not prevent her from worrying. He was out there, where he could get hurt or seen by someone, and he was not in the greatest mood.

She only hoped he would return soon.

"He knows what he's doing."

"I know."

"He just needs time alone."

"We're wolf, that's how we do things."

"I know."

"You shouldn't worry."

" _I know_ ," she repeated with smile. She brought the mug to her lips and took a sip. Lemon tea. It was always a good way to soothe away one's worries right?

Ginta drummed his fingers along the edge of the wooden table, shifting his bottom lip from left to right. There was something on his mind but he almost did not dare to ask. Although, with Kouga and Izu both gone…it might be the only chance he had. Plus, he was not sure Izu would be returning any time soon. He had left a little bit after Kouga and Kagome went outside. He did not say a word, he did not tell them where he was heading and nobody made a move to try and stop him. They already barely managed to avoid one fight and they had no intention of starting another one. It was never even meant to turn out like this.

"W- what happened?"

"With your friend?" Hakkaku completed.

Kagome sighed as she put her mug down on the table. Yes, there was still that problem. Since everything happened all at once, she never even had the chance to check up on her friend.

"She- she doesn't want this."

"What do you mean?"

"She doesn't want this life - the " Why was it so hard to say? "I don't think she wants the baby."

"Oh."

"But-"

"She won't tell anyone."

"Are you sure?"

Kagome nodded as she let her hands dropped to her laps. She hoped Yuka would not do anything drastic too fast. She should be a better friend to her. Perhaps she should go to her house, speak with her. Although, it might be best to wait a day or two; she did not want to push her when she was emotional. Kagome already felt like a terrible person. She had been angry at her friend - but it was the same thing all over again; she did not understand the burden they all had to carry - including Yuka. If Kagome was ever - if she was ever pregnant with a hanyou, her family would understand because they knew about all of this. She would never have to lie to them and they would accept the child and the father.

 _That thought made her blush_. But she pushed it aside.

Yuka did not have any of that. Even if they masked the fact that her child was half wolf…she would have to spend every day lying. Kagome lived with that but then again she was not always in the present. It made it easier. Yuka would have to lie every single day. Perhaps it was a lot to ask of someone? It was unfair of her… It was her friend's life and her decision. Kagome simply did not want her to regret it especially since she did not have all the information. She ran away too fast and Kagome felt like she needed to hear all of her options before she made a decision. But if in the end Yuka felt her choice was still best, then it was. And - as much as Kagome disliked Izu at the moment, it was more his business than Kagome's. It might have been best if the two of them had a chance to talk now that Yuka knew the truth.

"Maybe it's better this way," Ginta offered in comfort.

"Maybe."

"It's a lot to ask of someone. Not everyone's like you, Sis."

"I know."

She was given a very understanding family who could accept anything. She never realized how lucky she was until now. Until she saw her friend who had nothing but fear.

The conversation was interrupted when the back door opened. Three pair of eyes lifted and glanced in his direction. He was leaning in the doorway, his long black hair a mess, his ponytail long gone, and all he had one was a pair of dark blue jeans, not buttoned, which allowed them to see a hint of light grey boxer. His chest was bare, covered in a few scratches that appeared to be healing already. He looked at Ginta and Hakkaku but he avoided looking into Kagome's eyes. He had been a little forward with her earlier and he was not sure how she felt about it. She did not seem to mind but then again, he had been so blinded by his rage that she might have simply been trying to keep him calm.

"Ya know, I think there's something really interesting going on in the living room."

"I think ya might be right," Ginta said as he got up from his chair.

Both of them glanced at Kagome before exiting the room, very not subtly living Kouga and Kagome alone.

"I don't think they're ever going to get better at this," Kagome said with a smile.

Kouga began dragging himself inside, like a puppy who had been kicked. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, creating awkward bulges, and stopped once he bumped into the chair. " _Kagome_."

"No," she quickly said as she hoped to her feet. "You don't have to be sorry."

He raised his glance, his eyes landing on the small cut on her neck. Apparently he was not very subtle since she immediately clasped a hand on the wound. "It's nothing, he barely broke the skin."

"I shouldn't have lost control."

"It's who you are."

"I wouldn't hurt ya."

"I know."

He did not care how far gone he could be, he would not hurt  _her_. His instincts went in overdrive to protect  _her_. Although, he had to admit, he was scared for a second when she launched herself at him. Only Kagome would ever do something so reckless.

"I wouldn't have done it if I thought you could hurt me."

"Izu…"

"He's not back yet."

Kouga did not expect him to return for a while.

"I'm sorry about your friend."

"I just hope she's okay."

Kagome lowered her hand from her neck and let it drop to her side. Her fingers twitched and shyly, she reached out for his hand. She barely brushed her fingers against his, almost afraid to hold his hand but as soon as the contact was made he did not let her get away; he intertwined their fingers together.

"Are  _you_  okay?" she whispered.

He nodded. "I just needed to clear my head," he said as he used his free hand to untangle some of his hair. "Shit, I just. It could have been bad."

"But it wasn't."

"Because you were here."

He found himself getting more and more blunt in her presence. He could not even believe himself when he asked her to stay with him downstairs during the previous night. He also could not believe that she said yes. But she stayed. And even now when he felt like he was at his worst, she stayed by his side. When he mentioned going for a walk, she  _reluctantly_  let him go. Every time she did something new, he found it harder and harder to pull himself away from her. If it did not work out, he knew it would be hard to come back from this. He never meant to feel so much so quickly but it was just like back then; he could not help himself.

"I'm not going anywhere," she finally said, her cheeks a bright red.

He arched an eyebrow, his heartbeat skipping. He did not want to interpret her words the wrong way but his brain was evil.

Kagome closed the distance between their bodies, pressing their chests together. "Kouga I -" She had meant to say it last night when they were  _cuddling_  but she was never able to speak the words. Today was different. "I  _want_  this."

He licked his lips. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I - I wanted to - to say it last night but I couldn't. And then today Yuka came in and…" Her friend had to choose between losing and losing. She could not have everything without sacrificing something. Kagome was more fortunate. She could have this. "I got scared. She could lose something." Why was this so difficult? "I- I get to have this. All of it. I don't want to go back to where I was - to what I was."

"I thought you weren't… you know."

"I thought I wasn't. I didn't want to ruin this.  _Us_ , our friendship. It meant too much to me." Unable to keep talking while looking into his eyes, she hid her face in his chest. "It's not a crush, it's -  _I want this_. Everything feels better when you're around - and not because it reminds me of the past. Because - I mean you -  _I'm happy_."

She did not think her face could get any redder; she could feel the heat burning her cheeks. She simply wanted to disappear - that or to have him say something -  _anything_. The first sound he made was a chuckle.

"I'm happy too," he said as he pressed his lips to the side of her head.

She smiled against his chest, her teeth sinking in her teeth while she radiated joy from her aura.

Kouga wrapped his arm around her, keeping their fingers together in his other hand.  _He got the girl_.

He could  _not_  screw this up.

-U-


	15. Caught

Swipe down. Swipe up.

And again.

A growl of frustration bubbled from Kagome's throat before she allowed her cell phone to sink into the depths of her blue comforter. She stretched her arms above her head, which revealed a slight amount of skin from her stomach, and she dropped on her back, submerging herself into her soft mattress. Her jaw clenched while she closed her eyes, trying to ease away her irritation. Every day since she learned the truth, Kagome texted Yuka. Every day, she waited for an answer and never obtained one. Her friend was isolating herself and it was perhaps the worst decision she could have made. Kagome had the desire to help her, but she could hardly do more than she already did.  _Heck_ , she even showed up at her place once, but there was no answer.

Izu heard nothing of her either.

It was not good.

Despite everything Kagome shared with them, none of the wolves trusted Yuka…which meant they spent their time worrying. The less they heard about her, the more they believed she went on and spilled their secret to the world.

But Kagome knew it was not that way. Yuka was scared, alone and confused. She was not contacting anyone because she was freaking out. If only she could reach out to her one more time.

Plus, all of this stress was putting a strain - almost a pause - to her newfound…erm… _relationship_  with Kouga. Pack members were worried and it was his duty to speak with everyone and assure them of the safety of their pack. New people constantly came over and Kagome tried to be as invisible as possible. He  _wanted_  her to stay, he never chased her out, but she felt like an inconvenience and tried to stay away. He texted her, although sometimes his replies were far apart -  _and she was pretty sure some of them were written by Ginta -_ but again, she was not holding it against him. His life was stressful, much more than hers would ever be nowadays.

Then again, she knew she had to give it time; it had only been but two weeks or so. She did fret over the fact that perhaps she let their relationship evolve too soon… maybe it would have been best to wait until this whole drama was over.

A groan rumbled through her chest and she gave up. She flicked her wrist and retrieved her cellphone. As soon as she touched the screen it lite up and she checked the time.  _5:04am_. This whole ordeal was truly messing up with her sleep schedule. Her mind was running a thousand miles a second, never given her a break; it made it impossible for her to sleep.

_Ding._

Kagome frowned before tilting her head forward. Her cellphone was lighting brighter than before as a white rectangle flashed on the top of her screen.  _New message: Kouga (1)._ Her heart skipped a beat and her eyes sparkled as she quickly opened it. " _Morning_." She grinned while she typed up her reply. " _Morning! How did you know I was awake?"_

_Ding. "Your light is on."_

_"_ My light is on?" she repeated out loud. Her head snapped up and she looked at her bedside lamp. The light was on, covered by the lamp shade's blue fabric. How did he know that? Suspicion danced in her dark blue eyes as she began glancing around in her bedroom.

 _Ding_. " _Look outside."_

Kagome's eyebrows were burrowed, creating creases in the smooth pale skin of her forehead. She tried to flip around to look outside her window but her clumsy nature had something else in mind. Before she knew it, Kagome found herself sprawled across the floor, her head smashing against her desk's beige wooden chair. A loud yelp of pain echoed through and she quickly brought a hand to her injury. She gently rubbed her head, trying to soothe away the pain and tangling her messy hair in the process. She sighed, her chest rising, and managed to get on all four. However, before she could make it on her feet, she felt something grab her by the shoulders.

"Are you okay?"

 _What in the -_ "Kouga?"

She turned her head to the side only to see him crouched down beside her, his hands on her shoulders. Concern was gleaming in his eyes while his pupils jumbled around, clearly inspected her and searching for an injury.

"I'm okay," she replied as she moved herself away from him and sat down on the floor. "I tripped and -  _what are you doing here_?"

He grinned, trying to hide his embarassement. "I was outside your window. I was gonna wait there - but then you screamed and I -" He sort of crossed a boundary. He never even met to stalk her at her house. It was early and he did not manage to get a wink of sleep. He figured he could just walk around and before he knew it he ended up in front of the shrine. He tried to persuade himself  _not_  to go up those many stairs but in the end, he did it anyway. It was then that he saw her light and he took a shot; he texted her. And it worked. He was supposed to wait outside but then - she hurt herself and next thing he knew, he was jumping up the side of her house, climbing in through her window.

He probably should not have done that - but his instincts controlled his decision and before he even had time to think, he was in her room, holding her, checking every body part to make sure nothing was broken.

As he spoke, she noticed his slumped posture along with the way his chin was dipped towards his chest. She did not want him to feel guilty because he worried about her safety! "Kouga," she spoke in a soft voice. She reached out for his hand, gently brushing his palm with her fingertips. "It's okay. I'm okay." She smiled. "You think you'd know by now how clumsy I can be."

He joined her in her laugh, chortling along side of her. "I thought you hurt yourself."

"My head will survive," she added, her lips stretching. "Although, that doesn't really answer my question. Why are you here? Did something happened?"

He shook his head. "Couldn't sleep." He leaned back into her bedside table, never letting his hand stray away from hers. "I was just walking and I - I saw your light so…" He cringed. "Sorry… is that out of line?"

"No, no," she immediately answered. "I'm happy to see you."

She looked so beautiful, her hair tousled, her big pink pyjamas, covered in ice cream cones, and lines from her blanket still digging in her face. He loved the way she looked in the morning and it was hard to stay away. His body was urging him to close the distance, to kiss her good morning but he stayed put. Kagome did tell him she wanted them to start building a relationship but he was afraid to overstep some boundaries and screw it all up. He only wanted to go where she was comfortable and he did not know if morning kisses were on the list. Although he was fairly certain that  _climbing up her window_  in the middle of the night… was nowhere on the list of acceptable things to do.

"Good."

"How are things…with the pack?"

A long sigh escaped his lips before he ran his fingers through his bangs. "It's alright. I mean everyone is freaking out and none of them idiots will listen to me, but ya know. It'll be fine. Any news on your end?"

She shook her head. "She won't reply."

"I'm sure she's okay though," he said as he noticed the sadness spreading on her face.

"Yeah… I know."

Kagome looked up at him, a feeling of warmth spreading through her chest. He was trying to comfort her and she wished she could do the same for him. It was hard to miss how tired he looked. He even had dark circles under his blue eyes and he looked strained. His hair was up in a ponytail, like it always was, and he had thrown on a pair of old dark jeans along with a black t-shirt. Despite how tired he looked, he - well, he looked  _good_. There was  _one_  way she could provide him some relief from the stress but the thought painted her cheeks pink. Ookamis were very keen to the touching. Every time he was highly stressed, a touch from her seemed to relax him.

Though they decided to move on to the next step and break away from the friendship, she felt like she was standing on exploding mines; one wrong move and everything would blow up in her face. He made her happy and though some doubts lingered, she was satisfied with her decision. It was no time to screw it all up.

Shyly, she scouted a bit closer to him. It was not enough for them to be in an embrace but it did make their legs touch. The contact pulled Kouga away from his thoughts. He noticed the slight shift in the air, the shyness radiating from her and the way she looked at him with her eyes wide opened. He dared to interpret that in a positive way. He stretched his legs and opened them before wrapping his fingers around her wrist. She gently let him pull her in, and then she completed the rest of the way on her own. Her cheeks were burning red as she sat between his legs before resting her head against his chest. He wrapped his sturdy arms around her waist, holding her close and then she felt him bury his nose in the side of her head.

They remained that way for a while, his arms holding her secure. His palms laid flat against her covered skin, bringing her body heat up. Although a shiver sometimes ran down her spin, other times, she felt completely at ease. For the first time, she was almost certain that she could fall asleep. Also, by the way his heartbeat slowed down, she wondered if he could as well.

Meanwhile, Kouga had lowered his head, hiding his nose in the crook of her neck. Truthfully, he should change position; it gave him an excellent view. From where he was, he could see the top of her breasts, taunting him with more. And sometimes, when he moved his hands, when his fingertips would almost touch her skin, he felt her shiver and for a brief moment, her nipples would harden - which was easily noticeable through her pyjamas. Not that he was really paying attention. And it was not like those moments made him more aware of her body pressed against him or the way her ample rear was squished against his groin. Nope, he did not notice  _any_  of that.

Kagome tilted her head to the side, feeling a strange warmth coming from him. It was not coming from his body, it was different; she could not explain it. She dipped her head back and glanced at him. He looked back at her, watching her eyes and then her lips. Slowly, he dared to lower himself until his lips were pressed against hers. It was not a passionate kiss, it was simple touch but it was enough to soothe his heart. Once he pulled away, her cheeks were read and she hid her face in his chest. He leaned his head against hers, happy to have her in his arms. They did not have much time to talk, not with everything happening and he wished they had time to discuss this change in their relationship.

But he knew he would feel it when she was ready to speak about it. She would tell him wouldn't she?

However, there was one thing he knew he did feel; her breathing pace changed and suddenly, she felt heavier in his arms.

She fell asleep.

He could not help the smile that reached his lips at that realization. And then he was torn; he did not want to leave her on the floor like this while she slept but he was afraid that if he moved her, he would wake her up. Perhaps it was safer to simply keep her on him? He was not the worst pillow in the world and clearly she was comfortable. Plus, he still had a few hours ahead of him. He leaned backwards a bit more, keeping her close and then he shut his own eyes. Maybe he should take advantage of the situation as well and try to get in a few hours of sleep.

The stress and the lack of time for her in his life was starting to take a toll.

He wanted to cherish this moment. Plus, it would only be for an hour right?

-U-

" _Kagome!_ "

Kouga winced once then twice - with his eyes closed. What was that voice? He heard it before, it was somewhat familiar…  _Oh crap_.

His blue eyes snapped opened and as expected, he found Kagome's mother standing in front of them, not looking absolutely pleased with the sight offered to her. "Mrs. - Mrs. Higurashi," he said clearing up his throat.

He thought Kagome was awake, probably trying to wrestle out of his arms, but instead, as he looked down, he saw that she was still asleep.  _Well this was a problem_. He forced a smile in direction of Miyu before trying to shake Kagome awake. She was quite the heavy sleeper. "Kagome," he whispered in her ear. She barely moved. All she did was snuggle deeper into his chest, nuzzling him with her nose.  _Nope, not good_. "Kagome," he tried a little louder. This time she cringed in her sleep before frowning. He shook her. "Kagome."

He finally saw her open her eyes. Except, she looked in the wrong direction; instead of glancing at her mother, she was looking at him. A smile stretched across her lips as she mumbled a good morning. However, he did not return the greeting. Instead, he peered behind her, a serious look on his face. He hoped she would understand. And she did. At first confusion illuminated her features but as she slowly turned her head,  _she understood_. " _Mom!_ "

Again, Kagome scrambled to her feet but her awkward position and her legs tangled with Kouga's did nothing to help her. Instead of ending up standing, she lean forward too much and nearly crashed. Fortunately for her, Kouga was able to use his speed to catch her.  _Unfortunately_  for the both of them, it left them in an even more awkward position. Kagome was nearly on all four, hovering above the ground, while Kouga was on his knees, his groin pressed against her round rear.  _Oh yeah, someone up there hated him. It was official_. If he wanted to screw this up even more, he could not. This was the high peak of failure that could be achieved.

After a hot second, Kagome used her newfound hold on the ground to spring to her feet. "Mm, mom, this is - we just - we were talking and we fell asleep." Oh boy. Yes, she sort of forgot to have this conversation with her mother. At first, she kept it from her because they were still in a friendship and there was no reason to alter the rules but now… she supposed it was wrong. No, no it definitively was. She might be an adult but this was her mother's home, this was a shrine and - oh god she was screwed.

"I -hm, I should go," Kouga said, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. "Sorry, Mrs. Higurashi, I didn't mean to - Hm." He did not mean what? He did not even know what explanation to give her.

"You can use the front door this time," Miyu said with a half smile.

She did not intend to come up as a rude person or anything. She simply tried to wake up her daughter and when nothing worked, she opened the door. What she found on the other side was not what she expected and it also looked like it was more than a friendship.

"Yes- m, sorry." His cheeks were red as he nodded goodbye to Kagome and brushed up past Miyu on his way out.

Meanwhile, Kagome kept his eyes on him until the door closed behind him. This was not how she wanted to this conversation to go. "Mom, let me explain."

"Are you two seeing each other?"

"Well, yeah. We - we are?" She simply mentioned that she wanted more than friendship. She was not certain if that meant they were official. No they probably were not. It was not how relationship went. Oh, how in the word was she supposed to know? She was far from being a dating expert! "I just, it's recent. And seriously this - we weren't trying to do anything. I was awake and he's been stressed out and we just fell asleep. I swear. Nothing happened."

"I believe you," Miyu said with a small smile. "I - I know you're an adult, Kagome and you're free to do as you please but…"

"This is your home," Kagome supplied.

"I simply think it might be best to have a few rules." It almost felt strange to impose her daughter some rules. After all, she traveled through time, lived her life like an adult and made her own decisions but she felt this was different. It was serious and with the way the ookami looked at her daughter, she felt like this could turn out to be a serious relationship. She trusted Kouga and she saw how happy he made Kagome but - she simply wanted her daughter to be careful. Miyu did not want to see Kagome hurt again. She was her mother and she wanted to protect her from heartbreak and sadness. Though she did not even know where to begin those  _rules_. Hopefully she would figure it out.

"No, I agree. And I'm really sorry mom." God, if she could die and get swallowed by the ground, it would be absolutely perfect. This was perfect… the worst situation ever. Kagome could hardly believe they fell asleep  _and_  the fact that Kouga was so out, he did not hear her mother coming.

Her mother walked over to Kagome's bed and gently sat down before resting her hands on her thighs. Then, she raised her head and looked at her daughter. "Are you happy?"

She knew she was but she needed to hear it. She spent days, weeks, watching her daughter being miserable and alone. For the first time since her return to her proper era, she was happy. She was afraid to put too many limits; she did not want to take that happiness away from her.

"I am."

"Kouga is always welcome here."

Miyu was convinced there would not be any other  _secret_  visit and there was no point in discussing everything now since - she did not even know what to tell Kagome. She was traveling during her teenage years and then she was closed up at home. She never had to deal with this kind of situation before. She offered her daughter one last smile before getting back up.

"How about we talk over breakfast?"

"I'd like that," Kagome said as she slowly followed her mother downstairs.

This time, she shared everything with her; from what happened with Kouga to the whole ordeal with Yuka. It was nice to finally be able to unleash her fears and share them with someone who was not from the wolf pack.

"Is Yuka going to be okay?"

Kagome shrugged. "I can't reach her."

"Well, her situation is complicated honey. Perhaps that is the best choice  _for_  her."

"I know - I -" Really, what would she do? She could not judge her friend and she was not trying to but she wanted Yuka to have all the informations… Perhaps she was pushing her too much.

"Kagome?"

"Hm?"

"Are you careful?"

The question took her by surprise and Kagome's cheeks went up into flames, burning with shame. " _Mom_ , it's not like that. We didn't - we haven't" God, she was a grown woman and she could not even say the word. Although the fact that she was having this conversation with her mother was not helping the situation.

"I simply want to make sure you will not find yourself in a difficult situation."

"I won't. I'll be careful," she mumbled, looking away from her mother.

The thought of contraception had not even crossed her mind yet. Kouga and her were not there yet were they? No, they - they barely kissed on a regular base, so clearly they were still far from sleeping together. It did not help that she was very unexperienced. Was it normal for her to be so far behind? And now that she was thinking about it, she did not even know where Kouga stood on this and just  _how_  experienced he was. Suddenly, she felt her stomach churned and she became nervous. Did she want answers to all of her questions?

"I trust your judgement, but you can always come to me if you need it." Clearly her daughter was not comfortable with this conversation but Miyu felt like they had to discuss it. She might be an adult but she was a bit young to be saddled with kids, especially since she had not figure out what she wanted from life. It was her job as her mother to look out for her.

"Thanks mom."

Kagome might have been at ease when she woke up but now, all of that was gone. Instead, she was worried.

-U-

Kagome was out job hunting.

Or at least it was what she told her mother.

Miyu might have been very accepting and everything but it did not mean Kagome was not slightly nervous. She did not exactly want to tell her mother she was heading straight to Kouga's. Technically, she should not go; he was busy. But she did not truly enjoy the way they left things and she thought it would be best if they spoke. She also wanted to tell him that her mother did not hate him. Of course, to do all that she had to ignore all the questions and worries that bounced around her head all day long. It was partially the reason why she was walking ever so slowly; she sort of did not want to arrive to his house.

Unfortunately for her, since her feet kept walking, she eventually reached her destination.

Her tiny hands were bundled into fists as she slowly rose one and knocked on the door. It did not take too long for it to open and on the other side she found Ginta. He flashed her a smile and moved out of the way to let her in.

"Hey Sis."

"Hey."

He closed the door behind her and then leaned against it. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

He shrugged. "No reason."

"Liar. He thinks something happened," Hakkaku chimed in as he joined them. "He's been acting a little off since he returned from his morning  _walk_."

They both knew it had something to do with Kagome. When Kouga returned he was covered in her scent and there was a little hint of arousal. Although what they could not figure out was if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

At their words, Kagome blushed furiously. She tried to hide her eyes with her bangs but it failed. "Oh, hm. No, nothing happened," she lied through her teeth.

"You're a bad liar little sis. And  _you,_ " Ginta said as he pointed to Hakkaku, "owe me money."

"What? Why?"

"Clearly they almost did it."

"No they didn't."

" _What!_ "

At the sound of Kagome's angry voice, both wolves turned around to look at the rather angry miko. Despite the blush covering her cheeks, her rage was expressed through her eyes. "You guys are - betting - on  _what!_ "

"No,  _no_. It's not like that. I was -"

"He was kidding."

"What are you two idiots doing?"

" _Nothing!_ "

Kouga glared at Ginta, than moved on to Hakkaku and yet neither of them said anything. All they did was gulp. "Beat it," he said as he gestured to the living room. He sort of heard the conversation and he already knew he did not like it. Plus, he did not need Kagome to be more ashamed than she already was. Once they left the vicinity, he approached her.

"They're idiots."

"It's okay," she said, staring at his feet. "I m- I hope I'm not bothering you."

Kouga reached out for her chin and grabbed it before gently lifting her head up. He bore his eyes into her, showing her his sincerity. "You never bother me."

Her blush deepened but she did not break the eye contact. "I wanted to talk to you about this morning."

"I felt shitty that I left. I felt that - fuck, I thought it was worse with me there."

She shook her head. "It's fine, my mom's not mad."

"She's not?"

"She's just concerned and - I mean, I told her about Yuka and she just - you know.  _Careful_."

At first he did not catch her meaning but then his lips moved to form an  _o_  and he nodded. Kagome forced a smile and then peered at his chest. She tugged her chin free and took a step back. Kouga glanced at her, clearly intrigued as he noticed her putting some distance between them but he did not say anything.

"I - hm, is anyone here?"

"Just the guys.  _For once_." If he had to hear one more person complain he was going to lose his shit. "Izu is kinda going in and out the house. He's going crazy, waiting to hear from Yuka." Though he much prefer having Izu out of the house. He was not going to forbid him from coming inside but he did warn him that he better stay the hell away from Kagome.

He tried to attack her meaning she should feel that much sympathy towards him but she did anyway. He was also under a lot of stress and well it was  _his_ child too. She could understand that it was a difficult situation for everyone.

"I hope he'll be okay."

"Are  _ya_  okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." That did not sound convincing at all.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" He did not want to push it but he could not understand what was happening. She was fine this morning was she not? She touched him, she reached out for him. Did something else happened with her mother?

He approached his hands from her, ready to take them but he was reluctant. She already back away from him, he should not push his luck. "I just -" She clamped her hand on her arm and bit her bottom lip. A sigh escaped her and then she looked at him. "Can we go upstairs?"

Kouga quickly nodded and lead the way. His heartbeat slowed down and he felt sick to his stomach. He lifted his shoulders, hiding his neck as he shoved his hands into his pockets to hide their trembling. He tried not to flinch with each step he took, dreading the moment they would reach the top of the stairs. This did not sound like it was a conversation he was about to enjoy. This happened after the awkward moment with her mother and now, he was nervous beyond belief. Did she decide that all of this was a bad idea? Did she want out? Of course he would give her an out but - but -  _he already felt like his heart was being squashed to a mush._  This is why he did not want to push the boundaries of friendship.

His foot were heavy, thundering against the steps as he went up each one very carefully. He almost felt the wood crack beneath his feet. Once they reached the top, he began dragging his feet, sliding them across the carpet. It was not until he reached his bedroom's door that his heart sunk to his stomach. He wrapped his long, callouses fingers around the handle and twisted it open. He opened it and held it that way for Kagome. Then, he closed it even if it was pointless; the guys were listening. And they would hear even if the door was closed.

"So what's up?" he asked, his expression faltering and changing. He seemed aloof, uninterested. It was the only way to hide his nervousness.

However, Kagome noticed none of it. All she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat hammering inside of her chest. This was stupid, it was a dumb conversation to have and she wanted to take it back. Yet, if she did not ask, she felt like it would block them forever. Plus, they were tiptoeing around each other and it was worse.

"I don't know how to do this."

Here it was; she was going to break up with him before they even started  _dating_.

"I - I'm not as experienced as you are and I just - I never know if I'm pushing or if it's okay and I don't even know what I'm okay with and then today my mom talked about  _being careful_  and I realized I didn't - I mean, this is the first adult relationship I've been in and I feel like a kid because everything I think something or want something I blush and this is ridiculous and - we said we would go down this path but it feels like we're less close than before and  _oh for the love of god_ stop me!" She cringed and hid her face in her hands. "I'm babbling. You shouldn't let me babble."

She looked up at Kouga but what she saw on his face was not what she expected; relief. And then he laughed, and laughed. He laughed so hard he was almost bent in two, holding his stomach with his hands. He could not believe it. He thought she was going to change her mind but it turned out she was just as confused as he was about boundaries and what step to take next.

He closed the distance between them, no longer worried that she did not want him. He wrapped his arms around her head, pressing her face into his chest. He kissed the top of her head, relief washing over him. "We'll go to our own speed. Our own step. I don't care that you blush. This isn't just some thing for me. I'm in. I don't care if I have to wait forever to kiss you."

She chuckled against him. How could he ease her worries away so easily? And with so few words? She still felt like an unexperienced teenager but some of the stress was taken away. "I would like if you didn't wait forever…"

"I can fix that," he said with a cocky smile as he leaned forward and quickly captured her lips with his.

He had been waiting forever to do that and now there was no hesitation. He knew she would let him and he knew she wold stop him when it was too much. He brushed up his lips against hers, nipped and tugged until he was ready to push his tongue against the seam of her lips. His tongue almost tickled her and after her heart was done skipping a beat, she shyly parted her lips to grant him entrance. He quickly invaded her mouth and she found herself leaning into his touch. Her action forced him to lean against the door to hold them both.

His fingers tangled in her hair, wrapping the long dark locks around his digits. His fingertips brushed her scalp, tilting her head backward. Involuntarily, the first moan escaped her. At that moment, Kouga had no choice but to groan. Her moans sounded like a melody he wanted to hear over and over again. In fact, his goal became to hear it again. He lapped at her bruised lips, fangs grazing at the sensitive skin. She pushed her body against his, her breasts flattening against his sturdy chest. Her shy hands were holding on to his sides, afraid to venture anywhere else. Although, she was dying to  _feel_  him, she was unsure what to do.

While their lips remained intertwined, his hands finally lowered. He squeezed her hips, slightly afraid to push it further but then, as she rose to her tippy toes, probably to get better access, her shirt rose and it gave him the opening he was looking for. His fingers inched up, brushing up her warm skin. She froze in his arms, nearly pinching her lips under the newfound sensation. His fingertips tingled at her flesh, caressing her higher and higher until he was touching beneath her ribs, which stole her breathe away. A whimper past her lips and he pulled away from her mouth. He pressed his forehead against hers, trying to catch his breathe.

"K-kouga?"

"Speed."

"Huh?"

"I'm slowing down the speed."

It was not much. There were kisses and a few touches but it was so much at once and he needed it so badly… If he lost himself in her warmth anymore than he already had, he felt like turning back would be too hard. He went from not knowing if he could kiss her good morning to tasting her lips in a way he never had before. As he held her, he could not believe how frail she felt under his touch, despite the fact that she was strong. Her skin was smooth, flawless, unlike his that was marked by time and battles. He never wanted to leave her side.

He pressed a kiss on her nose and she smiled, even though she remained breathless. Her whole body was drumming with need, the desire to feel more. Her previous shyness almost felt stupid. She thought she would feel awkward, inexperienced - and though she was, when he kissed her it was not how she felt. He was churning her heart, sending her world into a spiral and she loved every minute of it. There was an ache in his touch but control as well. He was Kouga but deep inside, there was an animalistic side, one he controlled very well, but for the first time she felt like she got a glimpse of it.

"So, good morning kisses?"

"Allowed."

"What about good night kisses?"

"Kouga, you  _can_  touch me."

"I know you said you wanted this but -"

"I'm not going anywhere, I told you."

Apparently, she was not the only one with fears. He was afraid she was going to change her mind and it broke her heart. She did think it might have been too early but she never thought her decision was wrong. This was right,  _he_ was right.

"So you don't have to ask permission to touch me."

"Neither do you," he slyly reminded her.

"I know," she murmured, trying to not be as shy as usual.

She reached out for his cheek and gently cupped it, brushing her thumb against his warm, tan flesh. "We'll figure this out.  _All of it_. It'll be okay."

He leaned into her touch, trying to take in as much as he could. "I know." He sighed, his eyes traveling to the bed; he was exhausted. "I'm thinking that sleep overs are out of the question?"

She cringed. "For now."

"What about naps?"

"Naps are good," she said with a smile.

"I need to rest before they all come fucking shit up and screaming shit," he said annoyed.

"Let's get ya to bed grandpa."

"Oh we're back to grandpa?"

"Face it, you're never gonna get any younger."

He smirked as she rushed to the bed, probably taunting him. This was what was missing earlier. They were comfortable in their friendship and they lost that when they took the step forward but he had a feeling it was back.

Hopefully for good; he was praying for some smooth sailing for once.

-U-


	16. Final Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: HASN'T BEEN A MONTH YET! Yeah I'm lame, I'm sorry. Real life is a bitch but I do want to thank everyone for their constant support. Your love for this story is what keeps me going!

"So what's he like?"

"Did you  _do_  anything yet?"

"What about his pe-"

Kagome was unable to hear the rest of the sentence as she clamped her hands over her ears.  _No, more_. She could not hear another single word about this. Kouga and the boys were working while she was waiting for him at his house. He was supposed to get off work an hour ago but was delayed. That left her alone with a few curious ookami females. Their questions were enough to burn Kagome's cheeks bright red. They knew no boundaries and no limit when it came to personal life.  _Why_  exactly did they want to know all of that? Why did it matter? Also, why did they assume Kouga and her did  _something_? Their relationship was recent… they did not have to jump right into things… right?

Although she could not hear anything anymore, she could  _see_. The three girls in front of her were laughing. Miya, the first one, was throwing her head back, her short brown locks fawning around her head, as a laugh bubbled from her chest. Her green eyes were glistening with tears, showing how  _funny_  she thought Kagome's reaction was. Yumi was being a little more subtle about it. Her delicate tan hand was covering her thin pink petal lips, shielding her laughter from Kagome's sight. Her long hair was pulled into a high ponytail, black strands of her hair swinging from left to right as she held back her chortles. Her brown eyes were focused away from Kagome, glancing in direction of Kasumi instead. Unlike the other girls, Kasumi was not laughing. Her red lips were stretched downwards as she clearly felt bad for Kagome. Her chin rested in her palm, her long pale pink nails contrasting with her tan flesh, while her dark red bangs covered her chocolate eyes.

Finally, Kasumi got up, her yellow shirt rising and showing her her toned stomach, and she grabbed Kagome's wrists with her fingers. She gently tugged and Kagome allowed her to pull her hands down. Kagome's blue, cotton sleeves slid back down past her elbows as she rested her palms flat against her dark blue jeans. She let a sigh roll off her lips before she made eye contact with Kasumi.

"They're just teasing you," she said with a smile. "Kouga's quite the catch."

Many females were after him and some were a little disappointed with his choice. Kasumi tried not to have a strong opinion on the matter. She was not a part of Kouga's pack back in the day but she heard what Kagome did for them. Plus, it was true that the selection of female was smaller than ever and relationship were difficult… he was the alpha though… Regardless, she respected his decision. It did not mean everyone wanted to stay out of it. Kouga stayed by himself for many centuries and now, finally they were getting a new glimpse of him, one they never saw before. They had so many questions and apparently, they were embarrassing the human girl.

Kagome's eyes narrowed for a brief second has she watched Kasumi wink at her, the girl's long, dark lashes intertwining. Was that a good thing? She glanced between all of the girls but none of them appeared to be upset. She did not truly think about the effect of her relationship with Kouga. Could some people be upset about it? Such a thought never even crossed her mind. Kagome grabbed the edge of her shirt, bundling the fabric in her tightly shut fists before leaning back into the brown leather couch, the fabric stiff beneath her. They were probably asking out of curiosity. The last time she had  _girlfriends_  to hang out with, they used to tease her about boys. It was just a normal thing to do; she simply forgot about it.

"You know, he has a lot of responsibilities," Yumi said, shifting her glance on Kagome. "Do you want cubs?"

 _Alright_ , this conversation was going too far and too fast. Kagome jumped to her feet, her bare feet thumping against the light brown wooden floor, and she shook her head left and right. " _And_  I think I'm going to go."

"All we want to do is help you out a little."

"Yeah, you're human, we're trying to give you a few tips, is all."

"I already got a crash course from the guys," Kagome spoke quietly, the blush on her cheeks deepening.

"From Ginta and Hakkaku?" Kasumi said, unable to hold back the laugh bubbling from her chest. She chortled, tossing her head backwards and sending her locks sprawling across her bare shoulders. "They haven't been around much."

"Plus, they were probably a little shy to go in details. You're a sister."

"I bet they left out all the goodies."

"I mean, you got pretty big boobs. I'm sure they didn't tell you what you could do to him with those…"

Again, Kagome was tempted to cover her ears with her hands but she resisted the urge. "It's okay, really I'm fine."

"So you know how to tend to a wolf?"

"I - hm - wh -" What kind of embarrassing question was that! She might be new to the whole serious relationship thing but she was not a child. Sure, Kouga and her struggled a bit with boundaries and what not but - he was afraid to be the pushy cub he once was and she was afraid to get hurt again or to mess it all up. It had nothing to do with her… knowledge.

"Wolves get lonely."

"Yeah, and they're a bit possessive."

She had not notice that behaviour with Kouga. Perhaps in the past but ever since they hung out together in the modern era, his behaviour was quite normal. "I don't think he is."

"That's because you weren't dating before. Now you're a real couple."

"He's not gonna like it when you hang out with other guys."

"I hang out with Ginta and Hakkaku all the time," Kagome defended.

"That's not the same."

"He needs re-assurance. You need a good nuzzling is just as good as a hello kiss."

"Even better," Miya chirped in. "Little touches.  _They like to be dominant."_ She leaned in. "If you know what I mean…"

Kagome was fairly certain she could not blush anymore than she already was. She needed to get away from these girls. They were very -erm nice, but these were not the type of conversations Kagome wanted to have. Especially since her mind was constantly thinking about Yuka and her current predicament. Yeah, sex was not exactly her first thought. She inhaled deeply, lifting herself from the couch and standing on her feet.

She was about to come up with some pathetic excuse as to why she had to get away from them when suddenly, her cellphone rescued her by ringing. Kagome glanced at the number, but it was not one she recognized. She frowned, hesitating for a second, but then she picked up anyway. She slide the green phone icon over and put the cellphone to her ear. "Hello?"

Immediately the girls gathered around Kagome, hoping to listen in to the conversation. However, as Kagome's face paled, turning to a pasty white color, their focus shifted and they grew concerned about their little sister. It was fun to tease her, especially since she blushed so easily, but it looked like an important matter was taken place. They watched as Kagome nodded, although the person on the phone could not see her. Her eyes filled with tears, she bit her bottom lip and her hand began to shake.

Kasumi closed the distance between them, putting a hand on Kagome's shoulder and gently squeezing. She might not know her that well but it hardly matter; she was pack and she was hurting.

"I'm on my way," Kagome finally said.

Her vision was completely blurred by the time she ended the phone call and put her phone back in her pocket. She turned to Kasumi, doing her best to keep a straight face. She should not be asking anyone's help but she did not know what else to do. She did not have a car and her mother was using hers. If she did not get there soon, she feared what might happen. She could not let  _her_  down, she had to get there as quickly as possible "C-could you give me a ride?"

Kasumi nodded. "Where are we going?"

"I'll tell you on the way," Kagome said as she slowly began heading for the door. She hoped she did not sound too rude or that Kasumi would not change her mind about helping her. Fortunately she did not. She did not even push the matter further as she grabbed her key from the coffee table and dashed past Kagome.

She had to keep this a secret, at least for the time being. Somehow, she did not think her friend wanted everyone to know of her decision yet.

-U-

"Are you sure about this?"

Yuka nodded although there was a slight tremble in her hand. Her fingers were clutching and grasping at Kagome's fingers, leaving red, irritated skin behind. Kagome hid all signs that it brought her some kind of pain and plastered a smile on her face instead. There was a hint of tears glistening in both girls' eyes though for quite different reasons. A deep fear was shaking Yuka to her core, the constant doubt wringing her heart and thumping her brain, never giving her a moment of peace. Though this was what she sought, there was a sense of finality about it that bothered her. This decision, the right decision, could never be taken back.

Meanwhile, Kagome's glistening blue eyes were caused by the overwhelming feelings bubbling in her aching chest. She respected her friend's decision and did so from the start. However, her heart broke thinking about all the pain Yuka was going through and the life that would never be the same. Yuka knew things she previously had no knowledge of and now, she had to live with the what ifs and what could have been. It was a terrible burden to carry and Kagome wished her friend did not have to carry it on her own like this.

Kagome was the first to take a step forward, reaching out for the light silver handle with trembling digits. She pulled it open and moved aside, allowing Yuka to step inside. Immediately, Kagome's nose was assaulted by the scent of antiseptic. She crunched her nose and held her breathe for a moment while she followed behind Yuka, the door closing behind her and nearly hitting her jeans covered behind. The sight inside was as aggressive as the scent; everything was bright white with blinding lights decorating the ceiling. She tried to stare at the ground since the floor was a bit less offensive than the rest of the environment.

Yuka's eyes snapped from left to right rapidly until they landed on a big yellow rectangular sign that said registration in big, black, bold letters. Shaky legs headed in that direction, her tiny blue heels smacking the dirty tiles beneath her feet. Pale fingers grasped at the metallic counter while she leaned forward, afraid she would slip if she did not have something to hold her up. Her throat was completely dry, clamped up from all the emotions swirling in her stomach. She felt it churn and she pinched her lips, fearing that if she did not, she might throw up all over the pristine counter.

Kagome kept a safe distance between them, allowing her a bit of privacy. She shifted her weight from her left leg to her right one. There was a slight wind in the room, bloating her red t-shirt around her stomach. She tugged on her ponytail, tightening it while Yuka finally pulled away from the counter. The color in her face was drained and her eyes were lifeless while she ahead straight for a beige cushioned chair. She plopped down on it, a form in her left hand and a blue pen in the other.

"Yuka..."

"I have to do this, Kagome." Her eyes never glanced in her direction. She stared ahead, browsing through the questions in front of her.

Kagome held back a sigh before sitting down beside her; she was not trying to convince her otherwise, she was simply trying to comfort her. The chair was stiff, jolting a pain in her lower back she ignored it. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, plopping forward her breasts and slightly pushing them out of her rounded collar. She tried to steal a few glances at Yuka's sheet but did not manage to see anything. It was probably best that way - it was none of her business.

Once Yuka completed the form she got back up and handed it over at the lady behind the counter. Again, she was gripping at the counter, probably using the gesture as a form of comfort. They talked a bit but Kagome could not make out a single word. All she saw was the woman's blonde hair swaying left and right each time she turned her head and flipped her ponytail around. After a few minutes, Yuka sat back down in her seat. Again, she sought comfort in Kagome's presence and quickly intertwined their fingers together.

Time ticked away until finally, they called out Yuka's name. The young girl was barely able to release Kagome's fingers from her constrictive hold while her shaky legs moved on their own. Their fingers brushed, Yuka holding on as long as she could. And then, her digits felt into emptiness, the cold air wrapping around them, the loneliness ringing in her heart. She closed her eyes, since it was the only way she knew how to prevent the tears from staining her cheeks, and she followed the stranger to another room.

Kagome watched her friend walk away, completely hopeless. She could not take the pain away, she could not erase the hurdle and it was killing her. She let her hands rest on her thighs, folded and tucked together. She stared at her shoes, noticing the dirt covering the tip of her black ballerinas. A deep heavy sigh shook her rib cage and she pinched her lips together, turning them white.

Time passed slowly, seeming like an eternity. Finally, Yuka came out. This time her eyes were different; there were no tears, no fear. There was nothing. Her eyes were blank, her skin was pale and the shaking of her limbs was no longer present. Her steps were small and sometimes, there was a flash of pain adoring her features. Kagome jumped to her feet and quickly wrapped her arms around Yuka, holding her close to her body in an attempt to comfort her.

"Are you okay?"

It was a foolish question and she already knew the answer could never be positive but she asked regardless. Hopelessness was causing her to scramble for things to say. Nothing was right, nothing probably felt right to her.

Yuka did not provide her with a verbal answer but she did nod her head faintly. She swallowed hard, always staring straight ahead. "I wanna go home."

This time, it was Kagome's turn to nod. She led her friend outside of the clinic, into the sunshine of the day. The sun hit them and Yuka quickly shielded her eyes, and her tears, away from it. Kagome could hear the quiet sobs but did not mention it; there was no need to make her friend feel sadder or worse. Although one thing that did worry Kagome was the way Yuka kept clutching at her stomach in pain. Was pain a normal side effect of it all? Should she be suffering so much? Surely her friend obtained all the information. She would not be leaving if she thought something was not normal… right?

Kagome pushed her worries aside as she reached out for Yuka's hand and grabbed her keys. "I'll drive," she offered and her friend only nodded. She did not think Yuka was in any condition to be behind the wheel of a vehicle.

Yuka slowly slid into the passenger seat, leaning into the grey cushion. Meanwhile, Kagome manoeuvred around and reached her own seat. She put the key in the ignition and then turned her head to look at Yuka. She reached out for her friend's hand and intertwined the fingers. She lacked the words to take the pain away and it killed her. Nothing would make this better, nothing would take away the ache in Yuka's chest.

"I did the right thing," Yuka said in between quiet sobs.

"I know," Kagome confirmed. If Yuka thought it was the right choice for her, for her life, then it was. Although it did not make that decision any easier.

They remained in that position for a little while before finally, Yuka pulled her hand away from Kagome's. Since her hand was now free, Kagome gripped the wheel with both hands and began heading towards Yuka's house, a weight in her chest, pressing down, churning her stomach.

The way there was completely quiet, not a sound ushered by either of the girls. Since Yuka was in a lot of pain, Kagome helped her up the stairs and into the house. Yuka had no desire to eat or to drink anything. Instead, she headed straight to her bed and hide herself in the depths of her blue comforter. Kagome leaned into the white doorway, her arms crossed in front of her chest until her friend fell asleep. Once she could hear the girl's silent breathing, Kagome made herself at home in the living room. She dropped down on the green couch, the cushion sinking beneath her rear and tilted her head backward. She closed her eyes, a threatening headache pounding at her frontal bone.

She remained in that position for a while, determined not to leave her friend's side when suddenly her phone vibrated. Grateful for the lack of noise, Kagome quickly snatched it from her back pocket and stared at the screen.  _Kouga calling_.  _Shoot!_  The girls probably told him she was waiting for him at the house and then suddenly left. She sunk her teeth in her lip before stealing a glance in direction of Yuka's room. Maybe it would be better for her to speak outside? She did not want to wake up her friend. She jumped to her feet, accidentally bumping her knee into the wooden table, and ran to the front door, exhaling deeply as to not scream out in pain.

Once she closed the white door, she leaned against it and picked up the phone. "Hello?"

" _Kagome, you okay?"_

She smiled at the concern in his voice. "Yeah, I'm fine."

There was a silence and she knew he was wondering if he should ask or not. She fixed the matter for him. "I went to the clinic… with Yuka." At the words, she let her back slide down the length of the door until her behind hit a brown panel of wood. She stretched her legs in front of her body and sighed. "She's a mess."

" _Where is she now_?"

"Sleeping. I can't leave her alone." She popped her lips. "If you could just keep it to yourself for now… I know.. I know everyone is stressing you out about it but…"

" _Your friend needs time. It's fine. I can handle those knuckleheads a little while longer_."

She smiled. "Thanks."

" _Are_ you _okay?_ "

She paused for a moment. "Yeah, I just wish I could help her more."

" _You're already doing all you can. I'm sure she's glad you're there."_

"I hope so."

" _She'll be okay. She's just gonna need some time."_

 _"_ I know."

" _Wanna stay on the phone til she wakes up?"_

She faintly shook her head. "Nah, you have things to do."

" _Kagome…"_

 _"_ I'll be okay. I swear."

She could hear him groan in the phone and she could not help the slight laugh that escaped her. His stubbornness had not changed. " _Fine_ ,  _but call me. Whenever."_

 _"_ I will, thanks."

" _I'll see you soon?"_

 _"_ Promise."

Kagome hung up, the stretch of her lips decreasing. She brought her knees to her chest and then, rested her head upon them. This would be a very long, lonely day. Although, it was nothing compared to the hell her friend was going through. She might not have been able to help Yuka through the whole ordeal but hopefully she could help her get back to her life and pick up the pieces during the aftermath.

-U-

The day went and morning came.

Except none of it went about as Kagome expected. She thought Yuka and her might spend some time together, she thought her friend would rest and try to adjust to what happened in her life. It turned out she was completely wrong. Yuka woke up in the morning, dark circles under her eyes, her hair a mess and pale skin. Despite her condition, she got ready for work, while skipping breakfast. Kagome tried to tell her it was not a good idea and that she should be resting. Plus, it was obvious she was still in a great deal of pain. Yuka ignored her and told her she wanted to get back to her old routine, old life. What happened could not be changed.

Kagome had a feeling she was mostly ignoring it all but - was it her place to judge? She learned a lot of information about herself and new beings. It was hard to process. Kagome had no choice but to come to terms with it; it was that or dying at the hands of a centipede. Not everyone was in her situation. Nonetheless, Kagome tried to stop her, but nothing changed Yuka's mind. She did not want to turn her friend away, fearing she might not hear from her again…so instead Kagome let her do as she pleased. And now, she was walking home, her heart heavy. The pain, the torture, the guilt; Kagome was a little bit too familiar with it all and she did not want to think about it and yet she could not help it. That was herself not too long ago when she thought she lost everything. Things were better now, she should not be letting those dark memories hunt her mind.

She walked and walked until she made a slight shift in her plans. Instead of heading home, she decided to head for Kouga's house. She even resisted the urge to call first. They all said she was always welcomed and it was time for her to believe that. It was near ten o'clock by the time she reached his house and her stomach was grumbling for food. She almost knocked but quickly rectify her mistake by wrapping her fingers around the handle and pushing it open. Kouga was the first to pop his head in her direction. As soon as he realized it was her, he walked her away, his eyebrows knitted as he looked quite displeased.

"Did you walk here?"

"From Yuka," she confirmed before leaning against the wall. She used the support to take off her shoes; her feet were killing her. Not only that but she barely managed to get a wink of sleep during the previous night. She was always afraid Yuka might wake up in the middle of the night.

"I could have picked you up," he said, a stern look on his face.

"I didn't think it was far… and I thought I was going home."

But she went to him instead. That did help ease his mood. He wanted her to be able to count on him no matter what, no matter the time.

Kagome smiled slightly before leaning into his chest. His long sleeve blue shirt looked quite soft and comfortable and she could not resist it. As soon as her head made contact with his chest, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her even closer. "Did you sleep?"

She shook her head. "Didn't want her to wake up sad and alone."

Typical Kagome. Even if he mentioned that it was bad for her, he knew she would keep on doing it. Her kindness was one of the first things he noticed about her and he knew that would never changed. It was one of the reasons why she captured his heart. It was part of who she was. Instead, he simply softly shook his head. "Come on, let's get ya to bed," he said before snaking his arm around her legs and lifting her up the ground. She leaned closer into his chest, keeping her eyes closed as she enjoyed the warmth coming from his body. His left hand was carefully tucked beneath her knees while the other was grasping at her shoulder, holding her in place.

He carefully went up the steps one by one, and within a few minutes, he reached his bedroom. She let him lay her down on the bed, her eyes still closed. She looked exhausted, she  _smelled_  exhausted actually. He did not like seeing her this way. It felt as though there was nothing he could do for her and it was killing him. Kouga was about to untangle himself from her, allowing her to snuggle into one of the pillows, but it appeared Kagome had something else in mind. As he was about to pull away, she held on to his hand, tugging him back closer to her. He tilted his head to the side, a slight hint of confusion dawning upon his features.

"Ca- can you stay?" she asked shyly while she stared away from him.

His lips stretched into a smile and he nodded. Kouga sat on the edge of the bed, her knees touching his rear. He stared down at her, allowing his hand to squeeze hers a little tighter. It was not exactly how Kagome thought he would  _stay_  with her and she wondered if she was bold enough to make him come closer. She began slowly by scooting herself away from the edge of the bed, leaving more room between them. He had to stretch his arm to keep their hands connected. Still, he did not appear to get the hint. Kagome felt a blush burn her cheeks as she tugged on his hand, silently indicating to him that he should lay down.

This time, he understood. Awkwardly, he stretched his body until he was laying by her side. They were face to face, their noses almost bumping. Kagome lowered herself enough as to bury her head in his chest. Loneliness was creeping up inside of her and it was not a welcomed feeling. She saw her friend experience a loss, and Kagome knew she never wanted to go through something like that again. She lost friends, a life… a whole world and she did not think she wanted to lose Kouga. Their re-newed friendship was recent, and clearly he was a much different person than the wolf she used to know. Their relationship was even newer. Yet, it hardly matter; he was her anchor. He helped her get herself out of the darkness and through him she was learning to stand up on her own again.

Kouga felt the sadness that rumbled through her chest, her scent shifting. He hugged her closer, his arms wrapping around her tiny frame and his hand resting on her hips. Unable to resist his natural instincts, he leaned into her hair and nuzzled at her ear. "What's wrong?" he whispered. He should not pry but he could not help it.

"Yuka was sad."

 _She_ , herself was sad. "I lost a lot of things," she completed. She rarely mentioned her sadness although she was very well aware that she was not always on point when it came to masking it. Her mother noticed sometimes - Kouga probably noticed in the beginning. "When I came back, I lost everything."

He held her a bit tighter, keeping his mouth shut. Although, that did not stop his mind from wandering. In the things she lost, Inuyasha was there, probably on top of the list. He remembered the way she used to feel for him. He was probably not alive anymore and if he was, he would have to be an old man. It was impossible for her to be with him. What if he was alive? Would he lose her? Did he only get her because she was the best option out of what was left? He could feel a certain jealousy rearing its ugly head but he decided to push that feeling aside. Kagome was kind, she was not the type to go around; she would not be with him simply  _because_  she had no other choice. She would have said no again… right?

Kagome felt his chest tense beneath her fingertips and wondered what caused the sudden stress. Was he uncomfortable with the information she was sharing? Or was he upset with the whole situation? She chewed on her bottom lip before convincing herself to move forward with the conversation. "Don't disappear." Her words were spoken so softly, so quietly,  _he_  barely heard them. They were also covered by the sound of a sob and a trembling of her body.

Kouga was taken back; she thought he would disappear? He moved one of his hands up and scooped her chin before gently pulling her head away from him. He let his thumb brush up against her cheeks as he peered down at her. "Kagome, I'm not going anywhere."

"If you - if you ever don't want this…" a shaky sigh left her lips, "please tell me. We can be friends, I know we can." She sounded whiny, she sounded weak - almost as though she was begging. Her emotions were too close to the surface, too raw for her to handle this properly. She knew she was broken when the well stopped working but she never saw what that sight looked like. Until she saw Yuka. It was heart shattering and it brought back memories she rather leave behind. She was not stuck in the past but it did not mean the loss of her friends did not affect her. It did not mean that she did not feel like a stranger in the modern era. Finding Kouga and the rest of the pack helped her find her place. Here she could be herself; the modern miko who traveled to the past. She did not have to lie and she could be herself.

Kouga let out a small growl, one that escaped his control. He approached his face to hers, his nose brushing up her cheek before he nestled it in the crook of her neck. "I'm never  _not_  gonna want you," he said, his warm breathe puffing against her skin. She shivered at the sensation and quietly nodded. "Don't ya ever think that. I'm not going anywhere."

He dared to be bold and pressed a kiss to her flesh. She tilted her head backwards instinctively, giving him better access. He kissed her again, and again, peppering the skin with his lips. He shifted his position until she was slightly snuggled underneath his body. He moved his hands to her face, tangling his fingers with her long dark locks. Kouga dipped forward, his forehead resting against hers. "I've waited too long to let you go," he said with a smirk.

His words caused her to break into a smile. Already some of the weight pressing against her chest was lifted. She thought she put all the negative feelings away when her life took an unexpected turn but apparently she was wrong. Some of it remained. However, she was dead set on shedding this shell she created for herself. She did not want to be that sad little person anymore. She wanted, craved to retrieve her old self. She wanted to be comfortable in her life.

A bit shyly, she tipped her head forward, capturing his mouth with hers. He let her lead the kiss, enjoying the way she felt beneath him. Shy hands tugged at his shirt, while he felt her relax, the tension leaving her body. The kisses began to change, a haste added to them. He could sense her need while a faint spicy scent began to attack his nostrils. Memories of their previous kiss flooded his mind and before he knew it, he was asking permission to tangle his tongue with hers. It poked at her lips and she offered no resistance, allowing him to invade her sweet, moist cavern. His tongue tangled with hers, her movements a bit more shy than his.

Unlike last time, her hands were doing some exploring, though he was fairly certain she was not even aware she was doing it. She laid her shaky palms flat against his sturdy chest, her fingertips feeling the bulgy muscles beneath his shirt. Meanwhile, he devoured her mouth, his fangs sometimes breaking free. They faintly dipped the membrane of her lips, never breaking it. She shuddered, the sensation creating a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach. He was an animal, his fangs were dangerous and yet, it brought excitement forward. The quiver of her body rumbled through him and he felt himself tightening in his pants.

That would be the perfect time to pull away.

And yet, he stayed still while she glided her hands up his chest before looping her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts into him as she closed the distance between their bodies. His control slipped and he found himself nipping at her lips. A whimper escaped her and a growl shook his chest while he tore his lips away from hers. He began nibbling at her way, working his way down her neck. He did not stop playing with her skin, tugging at it, until he reached her collarbone. From his current position, he could feel her breasts touch his chin each time she took a deep breathe - which was often. If he tilted his head down, he could run his lips along the edge of her cleavage.

There was a twinge in his pants, his erection growing. He had to calm himself, he had to pull away. Disobedient hands found their way to her waists and much like last time, they rose, feeling the soft pale skin. His fingertips were barely grazing at her skin and again, he stopped once he reached her ribcage. She inhaled, thrusting her chest forward, fingers tangling in his hair. He closed his head and dared to lower his head. The first kiss was in between her breasts, not touching them. The second time, he let his tongue out to play and lapped the top part of her breasts. He felt her body twist in pleasure and her arousal spark.

His mind was hazy, cloudy.

He dared to take another taste and then, he tore himself away from his prize. His breathes were harsh and loud. He put his lips to her forehead and tucked her back into his chest. As he lowered himself and turned to his side, he accidentally pushed her right into his growing erection. He felt the heat of her cheeks and this time, it was his turn to blush as well. He did not mean for her to feel that…

Again, he had stopped so suddenly, she was pulled from her daze. His touch was fire, lighting her skin with a need she did not know she had. At first, she thought it was bad that he pulled away but now, she could clearly feel  _why_  he did so. They were not there yet and she was not bold enough to further her exploration but she felt a bit flattered. It was a good thing right? Even if it led them to unknown territories. The coldness in her chest was dissipated and now, she could fully feel her tiredness. She snuggled against his chest and closed her eyes again, ready to let sleep claim her.

Kouga hid his nose in her air, a smile on his face. His body was still tensed from the interrupted action but he knew he made the right call. He was not going to push her. Plus, it was rather soothing to know she was covered in his scent. He tried to hold back as much as possible when it came to youkai courting and claiming. Though the closer they got, the more his instincts wanted to kick in. He would simply have to keep himself in check.

 _She was not going to make it easy on him_.

And yet, he loved it.

He loved  _her_.

-U-


	17. Moving Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hi everyone. Again, thank you for your never ending support, it means a lot. Hm, I'm not quite sure what happened with this chapter. This was not what I had in mind when I started it but it's where it ended up? But the good news is that the extra stuff I had in mind already went into the next chapter (which I started) so, there's that?

The night was black with a hint of the moon radiating white light into the darkness. The stars were rare and few apart, leaving a chill surrounding the reduced numbers of pedestrians wandering down the cold, empty grey streets of downtown Tokyo. A tower clocked began to echo through as its black arrow hit the three. In a few hours, the sun would peak from the horizon but for now, most of the habitants of the city were in a deep slumber. Music still echoed from a few night clubs that had yet to close despite the late hour.

Meanwhile, Kouga was leaning against a painted beige wall, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his black t-shirt stretched around his biceps. Lately, he took up the habit of watching Izu closely. That also meant doing a night club's bouncer job with him. The death of his unborn child shook him to his core and Kouga was afraid to see him commit a mistake. Yuka never contacted him, which nearly led to the reckless wolf to seek her out. Fortunately, Kouga was there to stop him.

To prevent such recklessness, he followed him.

However, it was becoming tiring - and fast.

Not only was he wasting hours but it was also seriously cutting on his time with Kagome. Though he supposed he should not be selfish about it. Izu went through a terrible loss and even Kouga could not understand that kind of pain. Regardless, having a ticking time bomb around was a bit nerve wracking and he could not wait for the worst to be over. For now, he was forced to lean back while Izu was doing on last patrol before the girls went on their ways. At least they were making some money. It was a little tight usually, forcing him to go into his savings. Yes, his savings were sufficient but he liked to keep them for a rainy day. Because of the whole baby ordeal, they received a lot of guests and that was expensive.

"Are ya done?"

There was a heavy sigh. "If you wanna go, go."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm not gonna fucking do anything."

"Oh, so you're not gonna go to her house?"

Izu's shoulders slumped and he dropped the white envelope he was holding. "You don't get it."

"I know that you didn't care about the girl. You just give a shit because -"

"Because it was my kid and I didn't get a say."

"You didn't want her to have it."

"I  _still_  should have been able to say something _."_

Kouga sighed before running his fingers through his thick brown bangs. This was a tricky situation, he was well aware of it. He wished he could take the pain away and erase that awful memory but that was not a viable option. All Izu could do was move on. "Look, it'll happen. Some day."

"We ain't all got a miko bitch who's gonna come out of nowhere."

A low threatening growl slipped Kouga and he bore his fangs as he closed the distance between them. "You attacked her, I let it slide. You ain't got any excuses this time. You will respect her." He was pack so Kouga was taking care of him. He made a point to be understanding of the latest fiasco since the situation was tense. He would not make excuses for him again. Kagome deserved his respect.

"She's not your mate."

"She's pack. And  _I say so,_  so you  _do it_."

He would not refer to himself as a leader who abused his power but there was something about Kagome that could send him over the edge. He refused to stand by idle while someone insulted her.

Izu's nostrils flared but he remained still, his hands crisped into fists. His entire body was shook by a tremble of rage that was nestled deep inside his chest. It was not fair; he knew Kouga was his alpha and then his word was law but -  _it was all her fault_. Perhaps he did not want the child in the first place but it was there and it was his. Then she came along and she was more involved in the whole ordeal than he was. How was it fair? And why did Kouga keep defending her? She might have done something for the pack a long time ago but it did not mean shit now. Plus, she was not a real part of the pack. She was  _entertaining Kouga_. She was pretending to care. It was nothing more than a passing relationship.

Would she want him if she knew all of it? If she knew it meant forever? She would run - because they all ran and she was no different. Kouga was in it for the long haul but she was not. When was he going to accept that?

" _Whatever_ ," were his last words. He bite his tongue, preventing himself for saying anything else. Once the security loosened, he was going back on his own. He was done with the pack life - he could not deal with it.

Kouga's eyes remained narrowed, a thick lump in his throat. Something was wrong, something was going to go wrong. Though he felt helpless to stop the train wreck happening in front of him. Izu bumped into his chest as he proceeded to exit the night club and Kouga followed, fangs poking through his lips. It was going to be a long ride back. He exhaled, trying to let go of the rage stirring up inside of him. He did not like the feel of his blood rushing through his veins, blocking his hearing and clouding his mind. He spent so many years being  _human_  that he feared he did not exert perfect control over the beast deep in his mind.

They both silently got into the car, the atmosphere thick and heavy as Kouga drove them back to the house. His hands were gripping the black wheel, forming dents into the leather. It screeched under the pressure, threatening to rip, but he never loosened his fingers. After an eternity, the house came into view and suddenly Kouga could breathe easier. The moment he parked the car, Izu sped out, leaving him alone inside.  _Asshole_. Kouga rubbed his tired, red eyes, and then let himself out. His steps were slow and sluggish, his black shoes thumping the ground each time they made contact with the grey stones that paved the way.

When he tried to open the door he was met with a resistance and he quirked an eyebrow. He pushed again and this time, he was able to swing the door open. On the other side, he found Ginta smiling at him with tightly pinched lips.

"Hey."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Why you in front of the door?"

"We thought Izu was coming back in?"

" _Coming back_?"

"He left through the back door. He was pretty pissed."

He groaned; he dealt with enough of his bullshit for one night. "What now?"

"He saw Kagome."

Kouga blinked. Kagome? He lifted his wrist and glanced at his watch to confirm he was not crazy.  _It was three in the morning right_? Why would… what?

"She came in earlier."

"We told her you'd be late."

"She just kinda of - she stayed."

"And then she fell asleep."

Ginta moved out of the way to allow Kouga to see. Behind him, Kouga could see a hint of black hair sprawled across the arm of the couch. He took a quiet step forward, trying to get a better view. Once he was in the living room, he saw her. One of her arms hung limp off the couch while her head rested on the other one. Her bangs covered her eyes, her lips slightly parted as she snored softly. She was tucked in a little ball, her jeans covered legs pressed against her blue shirt. She was also wearing mismatched socks; one white, one pink. His lips tugged into a smile and he approached her. Once his legs hit the couch, he dropped to his knees. He gently rose a hand and weaved his fingers through her soft locks of hair.

"Kagome," he whispered.

She did not move.

"Kagome."

She frowned, her eyes still closed, and she moved her face to bury it deeper into the soft couch. He chuckled as he slid his face closer to hers. He forgot about being mad, he forgot about all the rage he had directed to Izu and the shitty night he had at the club. He even forgot about the fact that he had not seen her in a couple of days. Instead, all of his thoughts were focused on her.

" _Hey_."

Honestly, he wanted to let her sleep but he knew he could not. Her mother was displeased with his  _night over_  and though she did not hate him or anything of the sort, he refused to push his luck. It was important to him that she liked him and he wanted Kagome to keep coming over. Although - it was already three in the morning. Her mother was probably already worried - unless she did not know Kagome was out here. That brought forth another question.  _Why didn't the guys wake her up_? He pulled his face away from her and twisted his neck to look at the guys.

"Why didn't you wake her up?"

"She looked tired."

"Her mom is gonna be pissed."

Ginta scratched the back of his head. "We didn't think about that."

"Plus - well…"

"What?"

"Sis is kinda grumpy when you wake her up."

Kouga chortled, the lively sound bubbling from deep inside his throat.  _It was so bad that nobody forgot about it_. Kagome was not a morning person. He experienced it first hand when her mother let him in her room.  _She was cute when she was mad_. But - yeah, he could understand why the guys would be wary about it.

Now what was he going to do? Clearly she was tired - she was sleeping like a log. He could try to wake her up again but he might feel bad. Her mother probably did not notice she was not home. What was the harm as long as he had her home before her mother woke up? He sighed, already knowing he was simply making excuses; he  _wanted_  to see her. It was addictive really. He tried to not be pushy, to give her space. He waited a lifetime for her, he spent forward apart, thinking she was dead and now she was here.  _Best of all_? She was his. He gave her up, he thought he would never have her. And then fate happened and there she was.

He smiled before slowly wrapping his arms around her body. Once she felt secured in his hold, he brought her body against his and lifted her from the couch.

"Where ya taking her?"

"Upstairs."

Ginta began smirking but Kouga glared his way and he immediately stopped. "She sleepin' you idiot."

"I know."

They saw it all; the little signs, the little touches. Kouga was finding it difficult to let go of Kagome and they could hardly blame him. It was the wolf inside of him, slowly claiming her. He already did the scent claim; his scent was so embedded in her aura, in her skin, that no one could ever deny that she was his. Obviously, Kagome had no idea but then again, she did not know much about them.

Kouga went up the stairs quite slowly, her body barely shaking with each step he took. Kouga lowered his head to the top of hers, burying his nose in her hair. He inhaled softly, allowing her sweet honey scent to calm his body. He shivered for a second and then sighed in her hair. The push of air sent some strands astray and he smiled. Her sleep was fairly interrupted and he even had a chance to make it all the way to the door. However, it was then that she decided to stir in his arms. She tilted her head back and then, nuzzled his chest with her nose, letting his warmth wrap all around her. A dazzled smile formed on her lips but her eyes remained closed.

"Kouga?" she said with a groggy voice.

"Hey," he gently answered.

She tried to blink but she failed. When her head was tilted that way, he could see the purple circles painted beneath her eyes; she was exhausted.

"Mm, what time?"

"Three in the morning."

"Oh."

She snuggled deeper into his chest and for a moment, he wondered if she was truly awake. "Kag?"

"Mm?"

He kicked his bedroom door opened with his foot and entered it. He closed it with his back, trying to minimize the sound. Now that she was a bit more shaken out of her sleep, he might be able to wake her up. He hurried his steps all the way to his bed and carefully laid her down. Shockingly, she let him unhook her hold from his body and she quickly snuggled into his chocolate brown pillow. He chuckled and shook his head. Perhaps she was  _not_  awake after all. He watched her for a few seconds but since her breathing returned steady, he decided he might as well let her sleep. As a matter of fact, he was dying to take a shower; he smelled like sweat and dirty sex. Too many nasty people rubbed against him during the night.

Kouga peaked at Kagome's sleeping form before turning and heading towards his personal bathroom. He flipped the switch and then rapidly shed his clothes, throwing his black shirt over to the corner and kicking his jeans and blue boxers off his feet. He slid the shower's glass door opened and turned on the hot water before stepping in. Immediately he was covered in water, his soaked hair clinging to his face. He tilted his head back, enjoying the feel of the scorching heat bursting across his flesh. He let his mind cleared completely, chasing all thoughts of trouble, all trace of anger. These past few weeks brought him back to a state of stress, one he had forgotten.

Things were rough for a while but it all smoothened out during the last thirty years or so. He forgot how stressful and demanding it could be. He would never turn his back to his people, his responsibilities. His status as an alpha was one he cherished, something that was a part of him. He would never give it up but it did not mean that it did not take its toll.

He waited a few more minutes, letting the heat relax his muscles. He quickly turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Kouga reached out for the yellow towel that hung and quickly wrapped it around his waist. He slicked back his wet bangs, removing them away from his face. Once his legs were done dripping, though his chest remained wet with droplets of water, he stepped out of the bathroom. He shook the extra water out of his hair as he walked, his gaze focused on the ground rather than the sight that was in front of him. He was so zoned out in his thoughts that he never noticed the shift in aura that happened.

"Sorry, I guess I pass-"

She froze.

He raised his eyes.

He froze.

"Hey -"

Kagome blinked once. Then twice. She woke up mere minutes ago and for a second, she panicked. Perhaps it was that state of alert that caused her to be deaf to the sound of the shower. After a few instants, she recognized his room and relaxed. She was about to step off the bed to look for him when she heard the door. She -  _did not think he was taking a shower._  She took a deep breathe, afraid to say another word. Her mind was a bit dazed and the sight in front of her was -  _it left her at loss for words_. Granted the  _most important parts_  were covered by that thin towel but everything else was left bare for her eyes. His sturdy, strong, muscular chest was there, water dripping through the muscles lines while his long, dark hair clung to him. Her cheeks were burning and though she wanted to look at away she could not.

"Did I wake you?"

At first, she took him by surprise but once the initial shock wore off, he was fine. It was not like she never saw his bare chest before -  _as a matter of fact_  they had a complete conversation about their relationship while he was  _completely_  naked. This was  _fine_.

"Erm -." She shook her head. "I just - woke up."

He had turned his back to her while he dug through his top drawer. She watched as his fingers fumbled with  _boxers_ , his back bent forward, his rear stuck backward.  _Alright_ , nope, she was not doing this, she was not ogling him. Although - he was her boyfriend so she was technically allowed to ogle him but she was not going to do it.  _Why did her cheek burn like that?_ Honestly, she was relieved that he could not see her face. She felt childish because of her reaction. Still, it was hardly her fault. She did not expect to fall asleep and she truly did not expect to wake up to a half-naked Kouga. It kind of took her by surprise.

"I- Sorry I fell asleep."

Kouga pulled a pair of grey boxers out of the drawer. "Nah, it's fine. It's my fault."

"You were working, I knew that."

The guys said that sometimes he got off early. She did not want to text him and bother him or pressure him into getting home early so she waited. She thought she would wait until midnight and go home. Apparently, it was not what happened. She should have known better; she was tired lately. Her sleeping pattern were more restless. Despite the state of things, a lot remained on her mind. She tried to chase it away but it always came back. It was the reason why she stirred from her sleep a few minutes ago. Her nights of sleep turned into naps instead. It was better than nothing but she wished she could rest a bit more.

"It's just for a while," he said while he leaned back against the chocolate brown dresser. He gripped the edges with his strong hands and stared right at her. For her sake, he would pretend that he did not notice the red flushing her cheeks. He had to admit, it was a nice boost to his ego. Clearly he knew she enjoyed it when he kissed her but this was slightly different. He was fighting her to keep his smirk from reaching his lips.

"I know you have things to do."

She was the one who had nothing to do, no job, no other friends. God, she almost sounded pathetic. This was no time for a pity party - she was supposed to be done with those.

"It's not that important. If it wasn't for that idiot…"

"Yuka never answers my texts," she said in a quiet voice.

His shoulders dropped and he tilted his head to the left. Sadness was dripping from her voice and it  _pinged_  his heart, constricting it. He released the edge of the dresser and walked over to her. As soon as he was near, he lowered his arms and wrapped them around her waist. She pressed against his wet chest before nuzzled her nose into his neck. That gesture became a natural part of the interactions and it always made him smile; she was more wolf than she let on. He tried to keep his wet hair out of her way as he pressed his forehead to the side of her head, inhaling her natural, sweet scent. Having her around worked like calmness washing over him.

"It'll work out. I'm sure she just needs time."

"Lot of it apparently." She did not mean to sound bitter but she did.

"She could not accept us like you do. Not everyone can." His own words left a bitter taste in his mouth; it reminded him of what Izu said earlier.

She tried to not let her heart break at his words. Nobody should have to work extra hard to accept them; they were not monsters, they were alive and kind… Yes, some of them were bad, rotten to the core, but so were many humans. Now, they lived a harsh life and they did not need anything else making it any harder. She did not want him to suffer, she did not want him to be persecuted for what he was.

Kagome trailed her hands up, resting them against his scapulas as she tore her head away from his neck. He let a shiver travel through him as he felt her small touch slide across his wet skin. Her pink, moist lips parted as she watched the darkness seep into his blue eyes. One touch from her, it was all it took. She resisted the urge to glance away, shy. All that ran through her head were the conversations she had with the girls.  _She truly did not know anything about anything_. When his hands moved against her body, they knew where they were going, they knew what to touch, what to caress. She knew nothing.

 _Kami_ , he was going to -  _nope_. She made it difficult. Her sweet scent spiced up, teasing his nostrils and forcing them to flare. The color on her cheeks was mesmerizing and her skin was warm, welcoming. He wanted to hold her, touch her but instead, he clenched his fingers. She was upset; it was the reason for their current closeness. Although - yes, there was a shift in her scent but - it did not mean a thing.

"There's nothing to accept. There's nothing wrong about you."

He smiled at her kindness and raised a hand to her face. He cupped her jaw, tilting her head backwards. "You're amazing," he whispered.

Mist hazed over her blue orbs but her lips broke into a smile. She leaned into his touch and rubbed her cheek against the cold, rough skin of his palm. As she inhaled deeply, her heart skipped a beat and then returned to its normal pace. Their closeness allowed her to inspect his face carefully; there were dark circles beneath his eyes. Exhausting was weighing him down. He followed his duty, ignoring himself in the process. "You  _are_." He was a kind, sacrificing soul. Even when she used to  _kindly_  turn him down back in the Feudal Era, he always put his life on the line for her.

Why did it take her so long to see this? To see  _him?_

She sneaked her hand inside of his, fingertips brushing up against his. She intertwined their fingers and tugged on his hand. "Let's get you to bed."

"I'm not sleeping. Gotta get you home." He frowned. "Before your mother hates me."

"She won't hate you."

"I'm not certain she'll approve of ya sleepin' here."

"I'm not sleeping here." She smiled. "I'm hanging out with Yuka."

He quirked an eyebrow.

"I told her I was going to check up on Yuka." Which she did try to do but it proved useless because her friend never answered her. And then she ended up here, where it felt like  _home_.

"Oh."

"You're tired. You need to sleep."

"Gettin' a little bossy there."

"I was always bossy."

He chuckled as he finally allowed her to pull him into bed. If he got to snuggled up to her in his bed, he was not going to complain. Her scent had long washed off his sheets and he could not wait for her to rub it back in. She kneeled on the unmade bed and then dragged him down.

"It's probably best if I get dress first."

Her blue eyes gazed down at his towel and she blushed deeper. " _Right_."

He chortled, tossing his head backwards. His eyes lingered on her form longer before he freed his hand from her hold. He backed away, holding his towel with his hand; all the movements loosened it and he figured it might be best if it stayed on. "Did ya want something?"

She tilted her head.

"To wear?" he said as he pointed to her jeans.

"Oh, hm." She often slept with her clothes but to be completely honest it might not be the most comfortable thing in the world. She  _could_  borrow some boxes, she already borrowed one of his shirts. "Yeah, thanks."

He nodded as he retrieved his gray boxers and tossed them her way. She caught them immediately and nodded a thanks. He fished in for a new pair for him along with a pair of shorts. His hand lingered over the t-shirt drawer and he wondered if she was alright with it. He decided not to push it and grabbed a white shirt. Quickly, he disappeared back into the bathroom, leaving her alone.

Kagome peaked at the closed door and wondered. She sunk her blunt teeth into her bottom lip and glanced down at the boxers in her hand.  _He was going to be in there for a while_. And it was not like he would peek at her. She twisted her mind before getting off the bed. Rapidly she undid the button and zipper of her jeans and push them down until they puddled at her ankles. She kicked them off, leaving her in her blue underwear. She grabbed the boxers from the bed and slipped them on. As expected, they were a little big for her, forcing her to hold them up.  _Maybe she did not think it through completely_? She quickly sat down on the mood, allowing her to stop holding them up.

"Is it safe?"

She smiled shyly at his question. "Yep."

Kagome heard the door creak as he opened it and emerged from behind it. He was properly dressed with a t-shirt and a pair of shorts. He was  _almost_  more dressed than she was. Then again, she did not want to comment on it; perhaps he was not comfortable remaining shirtless. She knew nothing of his personal experience but she had a feeling he knew about her lack of it. Did it ask him more restraint? Did he need to be more careful? She knew there was a wolf somewhere beneath that human appearance and she did not know all that it entitled.

When Kouga lifted his hand, holding a hairbrush, it brought her out of her thoughts. His long hair were soaking through his t-shirt. Heat rose to her cheeks and she tilted her head to the left, avoiding his gaze. "May I?"

Her request took him by surprise and he found himself dumbfound. "Yeah." He raced a little too far to the bed and sat on the ground, his back pressed to the bed.

She figured he might be a little enthusiastic about it; it fell under the many things the guys taught her. She took the brush from him and quickly threw her legs around each side of his body, her tiny feet tangling into the emptiness. She unglued his hair from his back and slowly and carefully began to brush through the wet strands. The moment she began, he tilted his head backwards and closed his eyes. She smiled and quietly hummed to herself while she brushed his hair carefully, mindful of not tugging, despite the fact that it probably would not hurt him.

A soothing calmness rushed over him and his breathing rate slowed down. He pressed his lips, enjoying the feeling of her body around him and the feel of her fingers digging through his hair. She was gently squeezing his shoulders, trying to keep herself steady and he smiled. Her toes were flexed, letting him know she was focused on her task. He enjoyed the way she was careful around him, as though he was easily breakable. Then again, it was in her nature to be sweet and kind and it was probably one of the things he loved more about her.  _Love._  Kami, he loved her. Obviously those words had to remain locked in but, it did not mean he could not think them.

After minutes stretched into half an hour, she was done. She put the brush down on the bed and smiled at her work. "All done!"

He painfully turned his head to the left. "Thanks."

As his hair was moved out of the way, she was able to notice the wet patch on his shirt. "You can take your shirt off."

"What?"

"I mean -it's all wet. It's - hm, it's probably very uncomfortable."

"Oh, yeah it's fine."

"I don't mind." Though maybe he did.

Kouga rose to his feet and grabbed the hem of his shirt. He wore it because he thought it might make her more comfortable. If she did not mind then he did not mind. He pulled it over his head and tossed it into the hamper. Again, his chest was bare to her view. He bent forward in an attempt to get the brush and put it away but she stopped him. She rose to her knees and leaned forward to grab it.  _And then it happened_. As Kagome handed the brush to him, she felt the boxer slip and the cold air wrap around her thighs. She held her breathe, his eyes widened and they both remained motionless while her heart stopped beating.

His hand crisped and he did not know how to react - leering at her remained far from his original intention. Though, against his best effort, his eyes did linger a bit upon her thighs, fluttering up to her appetizing, round a-  _nope_. He forced his head to the side, a blush on his tan skin.

Kagome then did something he did not expect; she  _laughed_. She clapped down her hands over her face, dragging her skin down in shame. She sat back down, her rear resting on her feet. Her clumsiness got her in many situations but that was a new one. She wanted to be embarrassed - and truly, she was but - well…  _This -_ She was not supposed to be wearing stupid grandma underwear the first time a guy saw her in her underwear and yet there she was. This was not sexy this was - unsexy and childish. But of course it would happen to her. It was not like he ogled her or if she was a sight to behold.

Kouga frowned, unsure how to react to her laughing. He dared to slightly turn his head to look at her. She was still laughing, hiding her face in her hands. His eyes darted left than right and then he fully turned his body. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I just - this is the kind of thing that happens to me."

"Losing your shorts?" he tried, teasing obvious in his voice.

"Wearing the worst underwear in the world."

She was kidding right? Did she not know that she looked amazing no matter what she wore? And that she could turn him on with a glance?

"They're nice. I mean - not that I  _looked_."

He kept his gaze polite, and on her face, but he kept his smirk. She shook her head and reached out for the boxers. She lifted them up to cover herself again and he felt a twinge in the pit of his stomach. She sat back down, a sigh rolling off her lips. "Can we sleep before I embarrass myself again?"

"Actually, I kinda wanna see you lose your shorts again." He was teasing. He did not ever think he would ever push the teasing that far with her. He was always afraid of doing the wrong thing, saying the wrong thing but the past few weeks showed him that he needed to be a bit more forward. They were often stuck on one level, never moving forward. He was not taking her to the next step, he was not forcing her to do something she did not want to do. He was only letting himself be more comfortable with her.

Hopefully it would not blow up in his face.

Kagome blushed but still glared at him - in a taunting way. "Get in bed mister."

There he was; the cocky Kouga she knew all those years ago. It was nice that one of them could be comfortable. Although, as he joined her in bed she realized that sleeping by his side had become somewhat of a habit - one she was completely at ease with. She laid on her side and he wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her close to his chest. She snuggled into him, their legs ready to tangle. Because of everything that happened, she felt too aware of every muscles, every inch of his skin. He was comfortable, she could tell by his calm, relax hold but she felt different.

This was becoming her first serious relationship. Her first  _real_  relationship.

There were a lot of things she did not know. And how to take steps and how to  _explore_  further… certain things.

"Ya alright?"

She felt his hold loosened and she quickly clamped a hand over his, holding him in place. He thought it was  _him_  who was bothering her.

"Sorry, just, thinking. I'm okay." She snuggled deeper into him and tried to calm herself.

She would need some informations. Informations only a  _few girls_  could give her.

God, they were going to be so happy about it.

And then would not let her live it down.

She closed her eyes tightly, trying to repress her stress. For now, she would enjoy this because truly, this was where she was at peace.

In his arms.

-U-


	18. Shopping Spree

" _What kind of advice_?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you didn't like our advices last time," Miya replied, a hint of teasing in her voice.

"Apparently it was  _too much for you_ ," Yumi chipped in.

Kasumi was further from the other girls, pinching her lips together in an attempt to hold back a laugh.

Meanwhile, Kagome could not say a word. Her cheeks were burning like a fire, her blue orbs focused on the ground while her thoughts ran a million thoughts a minute. She knew this was to be expected - she did kind of shut them off last time but she never meant it in a rude way. It was mostly due to the fact that she was completely embarrassed and she - did not - she was not there yet. Nothing much had changed but for the first time she realized her lack of experience. And it was not like she had a horde of friends that could help her. Those three girls were it. All of Kouga's circle contained all the people she knew in the modern age. Everyone else either forgot about her or moved on.

" _I know,"_ she finally babbled. "I - thought, I - feel stupid."

Yumi tilted her head to the left, offering Kagome a pity smile. "It's okay honey, you're just a virgin. We've all been there."

God she hated the fact that her inexperience was so obvious. She offered a forced smile and then hide her face behind her hands; hopefully it would hide her shame.

"Listen, it's no big deal. We're gonna help ya."

" _I don't need the whole run down_ ," she said against her hands, her words muffled.

"We promise."

"Alright," said Miya as she rested her elbows on her laps, leaning forward from her seat. "What is it you need help with?"

"Erm, stuff?"

Kasumi rolled her eyes. "Stuff is not an answer Kagome."

How in the world was she going to do any of that  _stuff_ , if she could not even use the words? Why were they so comfortable why she wanted to die? And why couldn't any of this come naturally to her? It would make the situation much simpler. "I - I don't know. He just seems like he knows what to do - and I don't."

"Oh hun, that's normal. But I'm sure Kouga doesn't care about that."

"Yeah, I mean he's a wolf."

"And you're untouched," Miya pointed that. "It's good. I'm sure he doesn't mind anything you do."

But he made her feel so - with one touch he could take her breathe away. Meanwhile she laid there with no idea of what to do with her hands. It did not seem fair that she could not return the favor. Actually, it was not all about returning the favor. She wanted to take his breathe away, she wanted him to feel his skin on fire, pleasure jolting through his body. It was an amazing feeling and she wanted to provoke that in him.  _Gah_ , the thought of it had her shielding her shame from prying eyes even more.  _Bad thoughts_  to have while she was surrounded by very noisy, curious female ookamis. Ookamis would have an excellent sense of smell right?  _Ugh_.

"Unless… did he say something?"

Kagome's head jerked up. "What? Why? I mean, I don't know. Would he say it directly?"

"Nah," Kasumi answered, playing it off. "I mean, it would be there but it's Kouga - how subtle could it be?"

She had a point. "Then, I don't think so."

"You know what? Let's be safe. We'll just cover the bases," Yumi said, leading the conversations. The other girls, except Kagome, nodded.

The bases? What did  _that_  mean?

"Blowjobs."

_Gah. Nope nope, she did not hear that._

_"_ Comfortable?"

"New to them?"

"Love 'em?"

"Hate 'em?"

The surge of questions sent her head spinning and she tried to shut them up by shoving her hands forward, waving them around as some sort of white flag.  _Were they serious?_ Did she remotely look like someone who was comfortable - or used - to doing  _that_?

"I'll take that as  _don't know yet_ ," Kasumi said with a giggle. "It's really easy to do though."

"A little tongue in here, a little sucking, it's good.  _Depth, depth_  is good."

"But don't gag."

"AND NO TEETH," Yumi pointed out with a serious look on her face. "I mean seriously, you'll get that bad boy down in a second if you do that."

"Youkai or not, teeth hurt."

"Although a mix of hands, tongue and mouth is good. Yeah, you should do that."

"And I mean let's face it. When's the last time he got a blow job?"

"Exactly. Whatever you do, he's going to  _cum_  honey."

Kagome closed her eyes, begging to the gods to relieve her from this nightmare. Because this was what it was; a nightmare. The most unfortunate part about it was that she initiate this nightmare. She actually sought them out and asked them for help. What in the world was wrong with her? Why could she not look at the internet like a normal person?  _She was pathetic_. Then again, the girls had something the internet did not; knowledge about wolves. What if something was a little different? He was not human. Maybe there were certain things she was supposed to know, some stuff she had to avoid at all cost.

"We could get you a banana. You know, the practice," Miya said, barely able to hold back a grin.

"I- I'm okay," Kagome finally said, her entire face red tomato. She could already feel the sweat sliding down the nape of her neck. She was going to die before the end of the conversation.

"Oh and then there's the fatal question."

Kagome frowned. "What fatal question?"

"Swallow or spit," Kasumi provided with a smirk, her eyes glimmering with amusement.

"Oh yeah, you gotta figure that out before hand."

 _Spi - or what! No._ No she did not want to figure that out. She wanted the ground to swallow her alive. She wanted to disappear. Oh god. Of all the ways she thought the conversation could go, she never thought it would go this way. The gods hated her, that was the only available theory.  _Oh god_ ; And what was she? What was she going to do?

"Alright, alright," Yumi said with a roll of her eyes. She was going to spare the poor girl a little. She began tapping her chin with her index. "Let's see, what else, what else."

" _Wolves have great tongues_ ," Kasumi provided with a sly smile.

_Oh for the love of god._

"Oh yes, trust me, he's going to return the favor and it will be amazing."

The image of -  _that_  was enough to stir something in her loins. A puddle of warmth formed in her lower stomach and for a second she clenched her thighs. If there was one unmistakable thing she ever saw in his eyes, it was devotion. That never went away, that never changed. If that was applied to another situation -  _oh_. But that also meant being naked in front of him - as in not wearing any underwear. What if there was something wrong with her vagina? What - what if something looked weird? And the hair. What about the hair? Natural? Trimmed?  _Too trimmed_? She groaned. She never even bothered to think about that until now.

Why was there so much to consider?

Suddenly her train of thoughts was interrupted when the girls surrounding her began to laugh.

"Honey, it's  _you_."

Kagome blinked at them, still confused as to what exactly that was supposed to mean.

"You could have three heads and that boy you still want you."

It was sweet how innocent she was, how she missed all the little signals he was throwing her way. Kagome might only like him but he loved her and anyone could see it. Nobody mentioned it, everyone was careful not to reveal it. Youkais - especially ookamis were different. They chose one person and when they did, it was for life. Kouga would not pick someone else, not now that he finally knew he could have the girl. He wanted a bond for a life with her. The reason why everyone kept it for themselves was obvious; nobody wanted to scare her away. Although Kagome was kind, loving and different from most humans… she remained exactly that. A human.

Kouga would be the one to reveal his feelings in his own time.

Although all the questions she had were a good thing, a step in the right direction and though they did enjoy teasing her, they were happy to help.

"Why don't you wear some pretty matching underwear and it'll help you relax."

Matching underwear?  _Pretty_  underwear? Did she even own any of that? Probably not. Whatever she had surely did not qualify. The thought of  _granny panty_  crossed her mind as she thought about her awkward moment with Kouga a few days back. Yes, those were not the underwear he should have seen her in. She  _should_  own some nice things. Why did she not?

"You know what?" Kasumi said as she leaned back into the couch. "I know what you need; a girl's day."

"A girl's _night_  too!," Miya added while clapping her hands.

"We could go shopping - and do all kind of beauty stuff. And give you even more advice," Yumi completed.

She wanted to say no, she truly did but she could not see a single thing wrong with their proposition. She was in need of a bit of advice and what was wrong with pampering herself a little bit? When was the last time she did it? Before she fell down the well? Her little hot springs sessions with Sango did not really qualify as a beauty day. Then again, did she have money to waste on underwear and beauty stuff? She was on a limited budget and she refused to take her mother's money to indulge herself while she had to work hard to get every penny.  _She really needed to get a job_. Regardless, she might be able to spare some money for a pair of underwear or two?

"I - I guess I could get a few things."

Kasumi clapped her hands together, excitement bubbling in her eyes. "Let's get this show started!"

Hands grabbed her, dragging her away from her seat and she was unable to utter even a single word. The girl were happily chatting away, talking about all the fun stops they were going to do.  _Dildos_. They mentioned dildos.  _Oh god_.

_What had she gotten herself into?_

-U-

_Nothing_.

Kouga sighed as he turned his screen off again. He kept looking at his cellphone but nothing changed; Kagome did not answer his message. He managed to get out of babysitting duty for a night and he intended on spending some time with her. He texted her with excitement spreading through him but unfortunately for him she never replied. He knew she had a life outside of him and she was in no way forced to reply to him right away but - after three hours he was beginning to get a bit restless. Also, what if something happened to her? Did Izu go crazy and decide to go confront her? Or worse?

No, he could not let himself think like that.

"Hey  _Kouga!_ "

At the sound of a female's voice his head jerked to the left. What he found left him with eyes wide open; Miya, Kasumi and Yumi were standing in front of him, a dozen of bags in each arms. What did these girls  _do_?

"What are you doing here?" Yumi asked with a suspicious look in his eyes.

" _I live here_ ," he said, clearly annoyed. Why was she acting strange? He could smell deceit but he was not sure who it was coming from.

"Oh." She shrugged her shoulders. "Well this works out fine anyway." She took a step forward, revealing who was behind him; Kagome.

"Hey," she offered with a little wave of the hand.

He frowned. "Kagome?" His Kagome was clean from all the suspicions of deceit - even if there was a remnant of shame coating her scent.

"Sorry, we're stealing her for the day.  _And the night_."

"What?"

"Don't worry," Miya said, dismissing him. "We already went to her house, talked to her mom.  _What a nice lady_. And we told her Kagome was having a sleepover with us. She was fine with it."

 _Everyone_  heard about the little story between him Kagome and her mother and nobody ever intended on letting him live it down.  _But that was not even the point right now_. A girl's night? He was happy to know Kagome was getting along well with the pack - he wanted nothing more than that. Though he would be lying if he said he did not feel a slight ping of jealousy piercing through his chest. He wanted her for himself. He barely got to hold her lately and now he had some free time. But it was not fair of him to ask her to drop her plans and give everything up for him. He was the one who was busy all the time. He bit back a whimper of pain and nodded.

"Good. You girls have fun."

"You sure?" Kagome asked with an eyebrow arched. For an instant she saw something flash in his blue eyes; it looked like disappointed…or was it pain? It flickered so quickly that she might have imagined it. And yet, something was different about his smile.

He rose from the couch and walked in direction of her. His hands were trembling as he put them behind her head. He gently put his lips to her head, kissing her hair. "Have fun," he whispered against her hair.

She bite her bottom lip, pondering her options. The girls were nice and she might still have a thousand more embarrassing questions to ask them but - she also really wanted to see Kouga.  _No_ , it was best to get her questions answered. What would be the point of embarrassing herself in front of him again? She needed more  _knowledge_.

"Oh by the way, thank you," Yumi said as she reached into her pocket.

"Thank you for what?"

Yumi's smile grew as she handed Kouga his credit card. "For this."

He took it from her, the plastic almost falling from his grip as he stared at it in confusion. When in the world did that girl take his credit card?

"Don't worry we used it to buy Kagome some stuff."

Kagome's eyes widened. "What are you talking about? I only have this bag," she said raising her lonely white bag in the air.

"Oh no honey. All these bags are yours too," she said, gesturing to all the bags they were holding.

"WHAT?" Kagome screamed, her eyes opened wide.

"Don't worry, Kouga. It's money well spent," Yumi began as she tugged on Kagome's hand, freeing her from Kouga's hold. "We bought her  _lingerie_."

His jaw unlocked, his mouth opened wide as he gaped at the little, tiny, blushing miko in front of him. He wanted to speak, he wanted to get rid of the fire spreading in his cheeks but he could not neither. Instead, he grabbed on tightly to the card that was slipping through his fingers and watched, his eyes following her, as Yumi tugged her away from him. His mind provided  _too much_  imagery and he almost cursed. He swallowed hard while his jeans suddenly became too tight.  _Lingerie_. As in -  _what_. Why - why was she buying lingerie? He - okay there was a reason why people bought that but he was not - he did not even think things would go there for a long time.

Not that he minded - he did not mind, why would he mind? Nope. He did not mind.

He stared at his credit card and for the first time, he was glad they stole it. She could spend all his money. All of it.

He was going to die.  _Oh god he was a pervert_.

As the final sounds of the girls thumping up the stairs echoed through the vicinity, he dropped to his knees, hiding his face in shame.  _Why did he think all that_?

And what was  _happening?_

-U-

"Are you still on that?"

" _Yes_ , I'm still on that!" Kagome screamed while Yumi kept applying a face mask on her skin.

She tried to fight them off. Actually, once her total mortification wore off, she tried to run away and return all the stuff they bought for her. She tried a lot of things on - mostly for their amusement and a bit for her curiosity but she knew she was not going to buy any of that stuff - it was way too expensive and unnecessary. And then they went and used  _Kouga's_ money to get all that _shit_. Did they know how bad she felt? How guilty she felt? He worked so hard to keep the place going and to make sure he could help his pack in case of need. He certainly did not have the luxury to spend his money on superficial things she did not need.

She would have to pay him back. It was too late to return it now. Despite her protests, the girls tore all the price tags off and - it was too late. She needed a job, she needed to work so that she could spend  _the rest of her life paying back that expensive lingerie_.

"Kouga does not care, Kag."

"How do you know?" she said, flailing her arms. "He needs that money."

"Honey -  _Kouga has more than enough money_."

"He has to pay stuff and keep money outside."

Kasumi crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Kagome, how long do you think he's been doing this?"

"A while."

"Yes, a while. He accumulated enough money. You're his woman. He can treat you once in a while."

"And did you not see the look on his face," Miya added with a giggle. "Trust me, this is as much for him as it is for you."

Yumi snorted. "If not more."

"I - " She had to put this on and see him? God, this was a whole lot of too much all at once. There was no way she could look him in the eyes, there was no way she could show up at his door after he knew about the lingerie. She came to the girls because she lacked experience and truthfully, none of her questions were answered. She did not know her way around that whole situation, she did not know how to act around him.  _Why did she have to be so pathetic_?

"Kagome, you need to relax," Kasumi said with a laugh. "You're all tensed, that's not helping."

"You don't have to do anything you don't wanna do."

"I  _know_  that." She knew Kouga, she knew that this whole thing was going to whatever speed she was comfortable with and nothing more. The problem was, she was  _fine_  with things going a bit  _faster_. She simply did not know how to get them there.

Yumi put her hand down and stared at Kagome, pity shining in her eyes. The girl was completely hopeless and they had to do something about it. Those two badly needed a kick in the butt or they would not get anywhere. "I think I have an idea."

"I'm not sure I like where this is going…" Kagome said with a frown on her face. Last time  _they_  had an idea, she ended up apparently buying lingerie - with Kouga's money.

"Don't worry," Yumi said with a smirk. " _Now let's finish that mask_."

Suddenly, Kagome was surrounded by all three girls. Yumi finished applying her mask while Kasumi tugged on her hair and Miya shuffled through the bags, throwing clothes at her. After what appeared to be the longest five minutes of her life, they all pulled away.

"Alright, that needs five minutes and then we're good to go."

"She still needs to change."

"And let's not forget about her make up."

"Make up? Wait - what."

"Nothing."

Kagome's eyes narrowed. "This doesn't look like nothing."

"What's your favorite color?" Miya asked with a smile.

"No, that's not a good question," Kasumi interrupted. "A better question is,  _what is Kouga's favorite color_."

"Ohhh you're right." She turned her attention back to Kagome. "What is it?"

Kagome's mouth opened while she stayed stunned for a second. Kouga's favorite color? She did not know his favorite color - how could she not know his favorite color? He was her boyfriend.  _Boyfriend_. The word forced a little smile out of her.  _Booooyfriend._  Though, she was a shitty girlfriend. He probably knew her favorite color. "Hm, blue," she guessed. Maybe it was his piercing eyes that were on her mind. He should like blue right?

"Got thing we got something blue," Miya smirked.

"Something blue for what?"

"For your night with Kouga."

" _What_? No, I thought - we're doing girls' night."

"We were… but this is an emergency."

"There is no emergency," Kagome said, panic stuck in her throat. Her hands felt clammy as she wiped down on her blue pyjamas pants. This was a night for her to learn - not for her to be thrown into the midst of the unknown.  _They had her freaking out for no reason_. She was alone with Kouga in the past. They shared a bed a couple of times. God, why was she so nervous? She tried to breathe but could not, instead, she let her fear rush through her.

Yumi put her hands on her shoulders. "Kagome, calm down."

"I'm calm."

She laughed. "No, you're not."

"Sometimes the best experience is - hands on."

 _She did not like the literal meaning of that phrase._  "I'm useless when it comes to relationships." She spent most of her teenage years pinning after a boy who loved another girl. Then, she mopped around - oh oh, and then? She hesitated about going through with this relationship with Kouga. Why? Because she thought she did not deserve him, she thought she might mess it up - she thought she was not ready. Most of those things proved to be wrong. Surely she was ready for this, more than she originally thought. If she weren't, she wouldn't be having a girls night. But she might still mess it up. She might still not deserve him.

"Honey, we told you. There's nothing you can do to scare Kouga off."

"Three hundred years later and he still wants you."

" _Five_ ," Kagome quietly corrected.

"FIVE! The boy hasn't seen you in five hundred years and he looks like it's been a week. Like he never stopped waiting."

He did give her up. He did let her be with Inuyasha. He recognized the hopelessness of the situation and he moved on. Although, maybe he never truly did; he simply let her go. For her sake. And now? Now, she was a nervous wreck simply thinking about being in his bedroom. If someone had told her this would be her life…she would have laughed her head off. And yet now? She would not trade it off for anything in the world.

"I don't wanna screw it up."

"You can't."

"Now, let's get that mask off of you so can get changed."

"I still don't think -"

"Well good thing nobody asked you to think," Miya interrupted.

It was now or never right?

Plus she did not think the girl were going to let her weasel her way out of that one.

-U-

A door creaked and Kouga's eyes flashed opened. He tossed around in his bed, his sheets sliding down his bare torso, all the way to his waist. He gripped the edge of the blanket with his hand, fisting it around the fabric. Blue eyes shone in the darkness as his piercing vision allowed him to notice the light coming in along with the shadows moving. Sounds of giggles reached his ears and they twitched while he sat up, half awake. It took him forever to fall asleep, especially considering Kagome was so close by. Fortunately, the tiredness of the past few weeks managed to weight him down. And now he was awake again. He heard the door close but nothing else moved.

But there was a scent.

He was tempted to say it was Kagome but it did not smell like her.

He tossed the blanket away from his body, revealing his black boxers and then he hopped to his feet. As he got closer and closer to the door, the figure in front of him became clearer; it was Kagome. She stood there, her back near the door and her hands clasped behind her back. Her head was tilted forward, her bangs hiding her face from his view. He stopped once he was in front of her, taking a deep breathe of air; her scent was masked by something else and he was not sure he found it pleasing. He enjoyed her scent - it had a calming and soothing effect on him. Why would she take that away?

"Kagome?"

"So-sorry, you were sleeping," she stuttered, unable to make eye contact while her arms remained tucked in at her sides.

She could not  _believe_  that they pushed her inside and  _left_. How could they do that? She tried to stop them, especially when she noticed that his light was off.  _He was sleeping_. And now she woke him up - and  _dear god_. She was dressed like an idiot but at least he could not see that.  _She hoped he could not_. She had a black night gown on over her clothes and it was so dark that he probably did not notice. Plus, he looked half-awake.

His lips tugged in a smile. "It's fine. Are you alright?" His eyes searched her face but she kept it hidden from him. He raised a hand and grabbed her chin with his fingers, forcing her head backwards. "What's going on?"

She shook her head despite his grip on her. "Nothing."

"I thought you were having a girls' night?"

"We were," she stammered, heat rising to her cheeks. She cleared her throat and curled her toes while her eyes finally met his. "So, hm, whatcha doing?" she spoke, a fake enthusiasm shaking her voice.

He arched an eyebrow. "I was  _sleeping_."

"Right, right."

"Kagome -"

"I'm fine!"

Unable to hold back his laughter any longer, Kouga exploded in a fits of laughs. "You are the worst liar."

Kagome groaned before tilting her head backwards even more, freeing her chin from his hold, and accidentally banging her head against the wooden door. She winced as she rubbed her head, ready to give up.

Kouga slipped his hand in hers, tugging her away from the door. "Alright, let's take you away from anything  _dangerous_ , clumsy girl."

Kagome pouted as she allowed him to drag her to the bed. He hopped on, forcing her on as well. She stood on her knees, the mattress sinking beneath her weight. At least there was nothing  _dangerous_  around; her head was throbbing a little. Though she was grateful; it took her focus away from her shame and embarrassment. She popped her lips as he sat down, pressing his back against the headboard. He had yet to let go of her hand and she found that she did not want him to; she wanted to stay close.

"So, are ya gonna tell me what happened?"

"I told you, nothing."

He did not want to think about the lingerie but he did. It was his turn to be grateful for the lack of light; he did not wish for her to see his face. There was a deep blush coloring his tan cheeks while his eyes were shining with desire. Her hand was warm against his and he let his thumb brush up against the back of her hand. The gesture sent tingles through his body. He looked into her eyes and though she could barely see him, he could see her. Hair a bit out of place and -  _was that make up_? Kagome was wearing make up? He blinked once, leaning his body forward. Yes, Kagome was wearing make up. Why? He never really saw her wearing stuff like that before.

He stretched his arm back, twisted his head around, and then clicked on the light's button, turning it on. "Why are you-"

And then he could not speak.

His eyes were glued to her form, unable to tear himself away from the sight offered to him. She stood there, her night gown opened, revealing the sexiest, lacy blue undergarments he had ever seen. A deep blue silky fabric was snugged fit against her body, the outside decorated with a black lace. It wrapped around her hips and it hide her breasts from his view. And she was cold - he could  _easily_  tell that she was cold. Her lips were painted red, her hair was tousled, curled around her face, and her eyes were dark, accentuated by eyeliner. She was a vision and he was certain he had died and gone to heaven. He was dreaming - he had to be.

Kagome swore her face was on fire. It was the only explanation as to why her face burned this badly. She could not look at him and instead she let her eyes traveled to everything but his face.  _He was not supposed to turn on the light_. She was supposed to have more time - actually she was supposed to have a chance to change her mind. If she kept a distance the entire time, he would not have noticed. Although the point of this was to - be close to him right? The girls gave her a pep talk, they even gave her some pointers about the whole  _wolf thing_. They warned her to expect some things and not to be afraid.

But that was not even the scary part.

Pulling this off was.

"That b-bad," she managed to say, her voice wavering.

"You look amazing," he replied breathless.

"Well  _you_  bought it," she said, trying to lighten the mood. "And I'm really sorry about that. I mean we can still return all of it and -"

" _Don't_." He breathed out. "Don't you dare."

This time, she was forced to laugh. He looked like a little kid at christmas and maybe if she was not this embarrassed she might have enjoyed it. Although now she felt like dying. She could not be that sexy, comfortable girl. All she could do was be herself - no matter how clumsy and awkward that self was. She took a deep breathe and inched herself closer to him. He was not moving, he was standing there like a statue. She did not know if he was shocked or unsure if he could touch her. The look in her eyes lit a fire in her loins; she looked like his prey and he was about to devour her. It appeared the girls got a few things  _right_.

Kagome was slow at closing the distance but he was faster than her. He used his hold on her hand to tug her forward, colliding their chests together. The contact took her breathe away and she never had a chance to fill her lungs again since he planted his lips against her, tasting her mouth. His lips were demanding, warm, against hers and her body melted against his. She dug her fingers into his shoulder, trying to keep herself up, while he let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her waist. His teeth nipped at her lip and she felt her eyes rolled back while she clutched to him harder. The familiar warmth in her stomach was back and her body was on fire.

Kouga was struggling to keep his hand above her ass. The fabric was silky and he could easily slid it down and grab his prize but he kept his control in check. Her scent was divine, sending his head spinning and she looked delicious; he wanted to taste all of her. His instincts were reeling in and he was doing his best to keep them at bay. Did she know how all the little things she did drove him crazy? He wanted more, he wanted everything. But he knew that was not the way. He was going to take his time with Kagome because he loved her, because he did not want to screw it up.

Kagome rose her hands to his neck and then his cheeks. She held his face and lifted herself up, her breasts rising to his neck. Her action also forced his hand down right to her rear. She felt him squeeze the flesh, and she moaned involuntarily in his mouth. She heard him groan, the sound vibrating through her body and jolts of pleasure and thrill spasmed across her body. Before the groan was over, he flipped them and she found herself sprawled on her back with Kouga nestled between her legs. His large hands were still on her ass, grasping, kneading the flesh. Her blood was fire, her body was melting and her throat was dry.

She tossed her head backwards, the feelings overwhelming. As she tore her mouth from his, he took that opportunity to layer the rest of her body with his mouth. Moist lips touched her neck, her collarbone, leaving trails of kisses all the way to her breasts. Her chest heaved with each breathe she took, pushing the mounds in his throat. He always avoided them, he always stopped before he reached that point. He knew he could always control himself. He would never pressure her, he would never force himself on her. He would not get to that point if he knew he could not come back. But - he - his head was spinning. He missed her, he needed her - he loved her. And she showed up at his door in the middle of the night dressed like that.

She made his job very difficult.

Suddenly, he was pulled from his thoughts when he felt her fingers tangle with his hair. He raised his head and looked at her. She was breathless, her lips bruised and swollen from the kisses. He watched while she moved her hands and put them on his shoulders. Then she began pushing him up and he let her. There was a whimper caught in his throat but he let her. He would not force himself on her. If she wanted to stop, they would stop, despite the ache in his heart. She pushed him up until his back touched the headboard again. Once he was pressed against it, she removed his hands from him and settled them back on her thighs.

Kagome took a deep breathe in a foolish attempt to give herself some courage. She was supposed to be the one -  _doing_. She tilted her head back and then stared right at him. Slowly, she approached him and stopped when her knees touched his. He remained still, looking as though he was afraid to scare her away. Kagome gulped and then put her hands on his chest to keep herself steady. Then, she lifted herself up and moved herself onto him. She straddled his thighs with her legs, lowering herself unto his growing erection. She felt it press against her barely clothed core and a tremble shook her body. It was hard, warm and pushing against her through its constraints.

Kouga's body was stiffed while she lowered her hands down all the way to his abs. Her fingers tickled the skin, finger tips brushing against the muscles lines. She could do this. She could be brave enough to do it. She knew what line he was afraid to cross and she did not want him to be afraid. She brought her hands to her tiny black straps, her fingers slowly pushing them down. They dropped to her elbows, the black lace barely still covering her breasts. Her nipples were hard, brushing up against the fabric. Her core was pulsing, her breathing was impossible to control. Then she did it, she tugged on the fabric enough to free her breasts and expose them to his sight.

And Kouga died.

He forgot how to breathe, he forgot how to think as he watched the angel in front of him. She was perfect and he did not even deserve her. His heart swelled and he wanted to worship every part of her. He never wanted to think about losing her, he did not want to know what it was like not to have her in his life. It hurt the last time but this time it would destroy him. He was too far in, too deep, too lost inside her world. If he lost her, it would be the end of him. How could he love that tiny girl so much? How could she spin his world like that? He changed the way they ate for her. He - he would do anything for her.

"The whole not moving thing? It's kind of stressing me out," she whispered.

That was not the reaction she expected out of him. She thought he might touch her, he might lay her down on the bed and ravage her. Standing still, not moving? Not the reaction she expected. Was there something wrong with her? Did she do something wrong?

"Kouga?" she tried again when he did not reply.

He saw the panic in her eyes and he never wanted her to feel as though she was not wanted. He wanted her with every part of his body. She should never be nervous, she should never think she was not perfect. He was the one that did not deserve her and she was way too good for him. His heart ached, it stopped beating while he stared in her eyes.

"God,  _I love you_."

It slipped him.

He could not take it back.

This time,  _she_  froze. "W-what?"

It was out.

-U-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting this. It was finals' week but thankfully it is finally over. I am some sleep to catch up on but I'm good. Also, I wanted to thank everyone for something very special. I recently found out that Unforeseen won 3 awards at the Feudal Association Awards. 1st place best in character:kouga. 1st place best drama and 2nd place best romance. 
> 
> Thank you all for this, honestly, I don't deserve to have any of you as readers and reviewers. Thank you.


	19. Step Up

_Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot._

How many times could he call himself an idiot? Not enough. He had the girl he loved in front of him -  _in lingerie_. Oh no, she was not just in front of him, she was  _sitting on him_  - sitting on his hard cock.  _And, and_ she bared her breasts to his sight. What did he do with that amazing gift? He ruined it. He could not shut up his mouth and he completely ruined it. There was one good side; she had not run away  _yet_. No, instead she laid beside him, completely stiff and silent. Silence was not good. He should do something, he should say something. Then again, he should have said something when she was under a complete shock and getting off of him.

Not  _now_.

 _And_  her breasts were still  _out_.

FOCUS. Focus.

He just needed to focus.

"Kagome," he croaked out.

She wanted to speak, she wanted to say something - anything really - but nothing made it out. The words remained stuck in her throat. She was a bitch, she was the worst person to ever exist. He said he loved her - he expressed his feelings for her, rather than groping at what she had to offer and all she managed to say was  _what_. And then nothing. She rolled off to her side of the bed and had been staring at the ceiling ever since. This was not how she thought this would go down. It was not supposed to happen like this. They were going to fool around and then  _\- just not this_. What did he want her to do with that information?

Kagome hesitated about taking that step into their relationship - to even call it a relationship. He was precious to her and she was afraid she might end up losing him if they dated. Then, she realized that it was a good choice and he did bring her a lot. She found comfort and herself with him. They were going one step at a time and that was a good pace. But this? She had feelings for Kouga, she knew she did. But was she ready to tell him she loved him? This soon? She did not know that. How was she expected to know that? And then there was his feelings. He loved her. Already he loved her. It did not surprise her but - it did scare her a bit. He was attached and she could even more easily disappoint him.

What if they were not at the same stage? What if she ruined it all? What if she never said those words back?

Oh god. She was going to ruin it all. She was going to sabotage their relationship. It was going to happen.

Kouga could not help but frown when he heard her heartbeat pick up. He forced him up and propped himself on his arm. "Kagome, you alright?"

And the tears happened. They flowed out of her eyes and she bit her bottom lip. "I'm s-sorry."

 _She was sorry_? He was the idiot! "No, listen - I shouldn't have - and I'm sorry."

"Kouga, I'm sorry."

She just said that. Why was she saying it again.  _Why was she saying it again_?! His heart sank to his gut and all of the sudden all of his fears became real. She was not sorry because she hopped off of him. She was not crying because of his declaration. No, it did not add up. She was crying and apologizing because she was about to say something that was going to break his heart. That was the only logical explanation for the expression of pure heartbreak on her face.  _He did not want to hear it_. He should have shut up; why did he open his big fucking mouth? Why could he not shut up? Why did he  _love_  her so much?

"Kagome - listen, I don't know why I said that - it was - I was mesmerized?" He cringed at his own words. Why was he making it worse?

"It's not that I don't want to s-"

"No, no. It's fine. Trust me."

But it was out there. How was she supposed to forget that it was out there and that she did not say it back? She would always know that he told her he loved her and that she did not say it back. It was not new. He  _screamed_  it at her back in the feudal era but this was different. Back then, he did not truly know her, back then they were not in a relationship and they were not - getting naked with each other. Well, naked was a big word. It was just her breasts - and  _oh god she still had her chest bare_. Her eyes rounded and she hurried to find her straps and clumsily struggled to lift the  _thin_  lingerie over her chest.  _How could she forget about that_?

Kouga felt his heart die a little as she shielded his prizes away from him. But - there was something more important that he did not want to lose; her.

"K-"

"No," he snapped.

She froze, her eyes meeting his as she watched panic spread through his features.

"I said it, okay. I said it. And you don't have to say it back. And It was a stupid thing to say. And - I don't know why I did it. And - and…" Where the fuck was he going with this? How was any of this preventing her from leaving him? He knew she wanted to take things slow and he blurred out the worst thing. He did love her but -  _she was not there yet_. He was there five hundred years ago. Of course he was fucking there now.  _Idiot_. "I - I - don't go. Don't leave."

Kouga was many things; confident, strong, cocky, sweet, loving and generous. He put everyone first and himself last and he did not think twice about it. Even now, after all those years, that did not change. But, it was a different person in front of her at the moment. His eyes were filled with fears, there was a hint of begging twinkling in them. There was desperation surrounding his aura while it felt like he was waiting to wrap his arms around her. Whatever she said, she was going to break his heart, she could feel it. If she did not say I love you, he would hate her forever and if she said it, she would be lying to him.

But it was not even about the  _I love you_  anymore. He thought - he thought was going to leave him. He deserved so much more than her and she already knew that. She knew it from the beginning, which was why she was scared to begin this whole thing. She even thought he might leave her because he would realize she was not the one from him. And then they would not even be friends. But - she  _she did not want this to be over_. She actually went through embarrassing questions, buying lingerie -  _wearing it_. She tried to seduce him! She was horrible at seducing! She did all this - because  _she had feelings for him_. She could not say if it was love or what it was.

She did not want to go.

She did not want to lose all of this.

Would it happen if she did not say it back?

"Would you hate me?"

"If you left?" his mind went to the worst place automatically. This was what she wanted. She wanted to be free from him; he managed to scare her away. It did not take him long.

She shook her head, shoving her hands in front of him. "No, no, no." Oh god,  _stupid_. "If I didn't - if I didn't say those words back…" A few tears slid down her cheeks as she tried to prevent the quiver of her lips. "Would you hate me?"

His expression fell and his heart swelled as he reached out for her cheeks and softly cupped it. He let his thumb run across her soft skin and forced a smile for her. "Kagome, I -" Nope, he was not going to say those words again. "I could never hate you."

"But you said it and -"

"I said it because I'm an idiot. You don't owe me anything, you don't have to say anything."

He was a mess when he lost her but he had a lot of time to recover from this. It was recent for her and she needed more time. She was happier than she was when he met her and that was a good thing right? Every day, she surprised him, every day she did something new and he loved everything about her. He could be the first to say it. It did not matter. He dared to inch forward and gently pressed his lips to hers. It was not a soft, tender kiss; it was simply a peck. But she did return it and for the first time, the weight in his heart wavered.  _He had not screwed up enough to lose her_  and that was all that mattered to him in that moment.

"Kouga-"

"I don't hate you and we don't have to ever talk about this again."

He would tell her he loved her again but not yet - when the moment was right he would do it.

Kouga lowered his body down and wrapped his arms around her waist. He expected her to be stiff, maybe even rejecting his touch, but she remained comfortably by his side. She gave him a quivering smile and took a deep breathe before turning her head and tucking it beneath his chin. "I do like you, you know." She could not say this while looking at him, but she had to say it.

"Don't worry, this is what we do," he said, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "I kiss you too soon, I say shit too soon."

"And I freak out."

" _You didn't leave this time_."

She did not quite leave the last time but she did try to run away. This time - well maybe she was too shocked to even think about leaving. Perhaps that did help him.

Then, she had a reaction he did not expect; she laughed.

For the first time since his declaration, the mood was no longer thick and filled with awkwardness. He did not  _hate_  her. It was there, in the back of her mind and it would bother her but, they could be alright…right? He kissed her and she freaked out and they got over that. Back then, she was not sure if she could do this. Now, she did know. She wanted to be in a relationship with Kouga and she wanted more than friendship. Of course she would always want him in her life but - this was right. Them as a couple - it worked. Obviously this little incident shook her confidence and she felt like she held his heart in her hands…

But she had not crushed it yet.

This happened right? Sometimes someone said I love you first and that was alright. They did not all break up, it did not break anyone's heart. She knew from the start that Kouga was more ready than she was. It was only normal that he got to this point before her. Yes, that was the logical explanation. It was okay, she was not messed up, there was nothing wrong with her. She was just a girl who did not say I love you to someone who seemed perfect. Nothing wrong with that.

She leaned her nose into his throat and began to nuzzle him; that would bring him some sort of comfort. It was the best she could do. Kouga's hold on her tightened and she knew it was working.

"Any way we can start back where we were?" he asked with a smirk on his face.  _It was worth a shot_.

She smacked him on the arm and he laughed whole heartly.

They were okay. They just needed to sleep and tomorrow everything would be fine and the awkwardness would be gone forever.

Right?

-U-

_This was it_.

She was going to do it.

In a minute. Or two. Or five. Maybe never?

Kagome groaned silently as she resisted the urge to smother herself with her pillow. Last night, she screwed up. Or maybe not. She was not clear on that one. All she knew was that she could not say something she did not mean. It would happen one day but that day was not now. There was no point in lying or saying it for his sake. Even though she really, really, really wished she could do that. Regardless, she did learn that every time she pushed past the tipping point, past her fear, it was rewarding. She feared getting into a relationship and despite the little bumps, it was a great decision. She was scared of getting closer to him physically because of her lack of experience - but so far it had not been that bad.

Except for the whole  _I love you_ , but she really needed to put that on the back burner for now.

What she could do was vanquish that  _one_  fear. She could do this, she could be closer to him physically. Maybe it would help her get over the emotional mess that she was. He was her boyfriend. She did like him - a lot. Being with him made her feel like herself and free. She needed this. She needed him. And he was not her emotional crutch, he simply made her life better. Ever since he came back into her life, it was more enjoyable and she found her drive again. And she did want him. When he touched her, he turned her body to fire and he spread a warmth through her loins. It could not be wrong to follow that urge right?

At least that was what she convinced herself of during her sleepless night. And now? Now she was laying beside him trying to convince herself to  _wake him up_. As in - with a very good morning surprise.

But - nope. It was not working.

She needed to do this, work through the step and get to where he was. So why could she not do it damn it?

"Relax," he mumbled while his eyes were still closed.

His sleep was disturbed by a huge wave of stress rolling off of her. Although he had sensed her restlessness throughout the night, he figured it was due to the events that transpired. Despite his best efforts, he did not figure out what had her so worked up now.

 _Crap_. He was awake. No, no, no. This was worse; now there was no doubt about it. She was about to chicken out of it.  _Fuck_. Or not. Wait. She did not have to - he was still out of it right? She had time to make a move.

Come on. Now or never.

She closed her eyes, hoping to give herself some courage, and then she flung herself at him. Her lips crashed against his, her nervousness passing from her to him and she smacked her hands on both sides of his face. The initial shock jolted him awake but  _fortunately_  he had the good instinct of keeping still. Once her action registered with him, he kissed her back. He was not quite sure what was happening but he was not about to complain.  _Unless,_  she was doing it because of what happened. Fuck he hated his conscience. Why did he have to have one?

"Wa-wait," he whispered against her lips.

She groaned, pressing her nose to him.  _He was kidding right_? Her lips were moist, missing his taste and she tried to patiently wait.

"Is this bec-"

"No," and she kissed him.

"Are ya sure be-"

"Yes." Another kiss.

"Kagome, I-"

"Kouga. I need you to shut up and kiss me." That was direct enough right? If he questioned her one more time she might lose the courage she spent all night gathering.

She did not have to tell him twice. He ignored the way she held his face between her hands and he flipped himself. He put his body on top of hers, his legs trapped between hers while his hands roamed to her waist. All the while, he never stopped kissing her. How was he supposed to deny her so well spoken request? As he shifted closer to her, his rather excited friend pressed into her core and he felt her gasp into his mouth. "Morning," he mumbled. The heat rose to his cheeks and he knew she could feel his embarrassment. Though it was no secret that she could quickly get him into that state. Still, he did not need another reason to spook her.

A tingle spread across the back of her neck all the way to her face as he spoke.  _Morning wood_. She heard of those. She did not think they were that impressive - not that she had a lot of knowledge. As it pressed against her she felt her inner thighs clench and the puddle of need in her lower regions grew. It sent her scent spiking but she never noticed. Instead, she deepened the kiss, her hands moving until they tangled with the long strands of his brown hair. Her back arched, melting her body to his. Once he nibbled, teased and dragged his teeth across her bottom lip, he detached himself from them. His next target was her neck, his fangs grazing down the length of her throat.

He was not quite over the tease he got last night. Now he was greedy.

She moaned, her head tipping backwards while his tongue lapped her collarbone. Her fingers wrapped around his hair, she tugged. He did not complain. Instead of proceeding downwards to the swell of her breasts, he lowered himself all the way to her stomach, forcing her fingers out of her hair. She watched intensively as he kissed her exposed navel and then held her breathe. The see-through fabric did not offer much protection but neither minded. He inched it forward, revealing her stomach completely to his eyes. His soft lips trailed up, brushing up her bellybutton, working their way to her ribs. They lost the ghosts of a touch behind, just enough for her to forget how to breathe.

And she knew where he would stop.

Because he always stopped there.

She forced her to tear her hands away from his mass of hair and she lowered them to his hands. She covered them with her own while they rested on her hips. He gave her full control as she wrapped her fingers around his, moving his hands up. She brought them all the way to the hem of her  _shirt_ , and left them there. He grasped at the fabric, lifting his eyes to look at her face. She was giving him permission. His digits trembled with fear and excitement as he slowly lifted the fabric. And he tugged, and tugged, until finally, he revealed her bare chest. He did not stop, he tried not to waver, as he kept pulling it off until he had to pass it through her head.  _Then_ , he tossed it on the ground.

This time, he was not about to screw it up. Not twice.  _Oh dear lord no_. He wanted to be sweet and look at her face but he could not. He was going to worship her and thank her for letting him have this. He was going to make her forget about his slip up. His large hands lower back down, holding her beneath her breasts. He lowered his face again, almost nestling it between the two mounds.  _He could_. He should _._ His nose nuzzled her left breast while he made his way to the peak. His breathe teased her nipple and it hardened. Kagome felt her inside coil and she gazed at him, anticipation bubbling inside of her.

And he did it. He wrapped his lips around her nipple, suckling on it while his firm hands traveled to cup her breasts. As he kneaded the flesh, she arched her back, pushing her chest into his face even more. He lapped at his prize, his tongue twirling around it. Whimpers began to past her lips and his ears buzzed with pleasure. Carefully, he nibbled, teeth catching the hard bud and teasing her to new heights. He used his hand to bring attention to the other breasts, fingers flickering the nipple before offering a slight pinch.  _This_  time the reaction was loud. And her scent exploded around him, filling his nostrils and going straight to his erection.

He was pulsing against her, his hips slightly thrusting.  _She smelled so fucking good_. Her tiny hands were in his hair again, pulling as the overwhelming new pleasure was taking hold of her body. She was even beginning to thrust back and he doubted she noticed.  _He did_. His breathing was harsh, loud but he kept himself under control. He devoured every piece of her that she had to offer, resisting the urge of sinking his fangs into the supple flesh. Her legs rose up, brushing up against his sides as she was obviously fighting the urge of wrapping her legs around his waist.  _He wanted her legs around him_. His tongue brushed over her nipple and he teased her with his upcoming touch and sultry breathe.

More.

His thumb brushed over her right nipple, he pinched gently and then rolled it between his fingers. " _Kk-"_ She could not even get the word out.

Her blood was liquid fire, her skin was prickling with heat and a touch of anything sent a flame bursting inside of her. She wanted more, she needed more. The girls talked about this but they did not warn her that her body would turn into a puddle. Her core tightened and she did not know how to handle the waves of desire rolling off her skin. She buckled her hips, forcing his  _hard_  length into her core. Wetness spread between her legs and she was dying to rub them together to lessen the tension that was building up.  _More_ , more _._ She bore her neck to him, diving the back of her head into the pillow.

Kouga's world shifted and became the whimpers coming from her plump lips, the thrust of her wetness. There was a growl rumbling in his chest and he could feel the instincts screaming at him. This was a good spot to stop. If he did not, he might just rip her tiny, tiny black underwear and fuck her senseless. And that was not a mistake he was going to be make.  _Though it would be the best mistake_. Of his whole life. Yes, he had to pull away. He removed his lips from her nipple, leaving a trail of wetness behind. As he took away his ministrations, she whimpered at the loss. She pushed her chest more into him, almost demanding more.

She was asking for more.

She was almost naked, asking for more.

"Kk-ouga." It was a lost whisper and it tightened in his chest. His cock pulsed, pressing at her core.  _She was wet, so wet_. She soaked right through the panties; he could feel her wetness coating his boxers.  _It was close, so close_.

Maybe a bit more? As long as he kept away from her glorious chest? Yes. That would be fine.

He forced himself up, her breasts pressed into his chest. He resumed attacking her neck, dragging his tongue the length of her neck. Her hands moved and instead of tangling in his hair, they roamed down his back. She scratched at the muscles with her nails, her desire transferring from her to him. He lowered himself onto her, her legs rising to accommodate him; they were almost around his waist. For the first time, he let his control slip; he allowed his fangs to graze the skin of her neck. He made his way down to her collarbone without breaking the skin. At that exact moment, he was convinced he had finished in his boxers.

Her body trembled, shocks of pleasure jolting through her. She dug her blunt nails into his back, trying to hack away the flesh as she was unable to contain the effects of the newly found sensation. He violently thrusted against her, dry humping her as his head began to swim into lusciousness.  _Pull away_. He was ordering himself to do it but - it was not working. Especially since she held him like a steel band. Redness wanted to seep into his eyes but he pushed it back. Nope. This is why he pushed her away when things got too intense. He was not human like her and it did scare him at time.  _Now he was pulling away_.

But as he went to pull away, Kagome followed.

Her body was drumming with need. She was shy, she was useless, and she had no idea what she was doing. He licked her, he touched her, he turned her on with his skillful hands and she did nothing. She laid there while he treated her like a queen. It was not as though she did not want to touch his perfect body. She wanted to grab at everything, run her fingers along his muscles, squeeze that behind that looked very grabable - and how was she supposed to ignore the hard length that kept thrusting against her. Until now, she had no thought about having sex - but  _god_  she was beginning to understand the appeal.

Last night, he told her he loved her and she almost freaked out. She almost left.

And now she was half-naked beneath him, demanding more.

This was insane. Her mind was dizzy, thoughts were hard to form. One more touch. That was nothing right?

Kouga's senses went into alert. She was not letting go and he was weak, very weak. If he could just still her hips, it would be perfect. And then they would stop and he would get himself out of this before it became a nightmare. A nightmare he could not stop. One last little thrust? He rolled his eyes as he lowered himself back then, smacking his hips against hers. This time she curled, burying her face in his chest. Her lips on his skin, trailing up and his jaw clenched. She moaned against him while he pressed himself to her.  _He was going to die_. It would be the best death ever but he was going to die.

 _And then a knock came_.

All Kagome had the time to process was a deep growl that resonated through his chest, rumbling against her cheek and then, he was pulling away from her. Something crashed loudly against the door - a lamp it turned out - and then Kouga was baring his fangs at whoever was behind the door.

"Do not  _fucking_  come in _," he snarled._

Kagome hide her naked chest with his body, her arms around his waist, afraid that the person might come in regardless of Kouga's warning.  _That_  acted like a cold shower. Her heart raced while Kouga protectively kept her in his hold, his eyes glued to the door. He was torn and did not know what was the proper decision. He wanted to  _rip_  that asshole's head but he did not want to open the door while  _his_  Kagome was bare. He took a deep breathe, exhaling through his nostrils.

"Here," he said as he gave her the blanket. "Wrap it around."

It was an order but she followed through with it. She tucked herself in with the blanket and laid down on the bed with her heart pounding. Kouga jumped off the bed and she heard his feet slam against the floor with each step he took. She had never seen him this mad. Actually, yes once. When he was about to rip Izu's head off.

The door slammed open. "What the fuck do you want?" His erection was still bluntly obvious through his boxers but he could not give a damn.

"Hey,  _you're_ the one who insisted on babysitting me."

Kagome knew that voice; Izu.  _Oh god_.

Kouga's grip on the door tightened, cracking the wood. It creaked, splinters of wood forcing their way into his hand. " _Ginta_." He could not handle this asshole right now. He thought the broken lamp would do it but apparently Izu could not get the hint.

It took less than two seconds for Ginta to make his way upstairs and pop in front of the door. " _Kouga wooooo-_ " He caught himself on time and did not say anything but  _damn_. He heard the noises but he did not think the room would stink like sex. Did they -  _oh judging by Kouga's little problem they did not_.

"I know right?" Izu said before crossing his arms in front of his chest. "I hope you used a condom. Wouldn't wanna knock her up." He glared at Kouga. "She'd kill it."

 _And the door broke_. It split in half, leaving a trickle of blood dripping down his arm. He did not notice as he let his arm hang by his side, rage bleeding through his eyes. "Bring him downstairs. Don't let him leave. I'm coming." He was  _this_  close to smashing his head into the nearby wall but Kagome was naked behind him. So he would not expose her to all of this.

He would not.

He could not kill him.

Murder was bad.

He exhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring and his top lip quivering, showing hints of his fangs. " _Go."_

Izu tilted his head to the left and peered into the room. Since there was no longer a door, he could easily peek in. "How are you Kagome?" He frowned. "A little chilly are we?"

Immediately Kagome lowered her head, thinking that somehow he could see something. Thankfully, it was nothing more than a distasteful joke. However, Kouga did not see it that way. He launched himself at Izu, thrusting him against the wall. His head knocked loudly while Kouga's hand was tightly wrapped around his throat, preventing any air from making its way through his lungs. He wanted to rip his throat out, watch him bleed to death and die at his feet. He put up with his shit, his bad attitude, his little comments but he was pushing it too far when it came to Kagome. It did not help that he was riled up to the max, teased like never.

He chose the wrong time to piss him off.

"Kouga…"

But Ginta's voice did nothing to calm him down.

Instead he raised his fist and smashed it against Izu's face. He felt the bones of the idiot's face trying to give up under the strength of his fist but it did not stop him. He kept on punching, and punching. He felt Ginta's hands on him as he tried to pull him off but he was done restraining himself. His eyes bled red, his claws poked from the tip of his fingers while his fangs were out, ready to shred. He was aware of Izu's struggling, the swipes he took at him, or the wounds that formed on his own body but he ignored them all. All the build up stress, need and rage slipped out of him at once and nothing could put a stop to it.

Blood smudged his face, and another hit. Another. Another.

_"KOUGA!"_

That voice he did hear but it did nothing to put a halt to the wrath stirring inside of his chest. He felt fangs digging into his arm - and he knew there were Izu's. Blood dripped down, leaking on the floor and he pushed him again. This time, he left his face alone. Instead, he drove his fist through his stomach, causing him to choke for a second.

Delicate arms wrapped themselves around his waist and a chest was pressed to his back. He felt her face all scrounged up against him and she kept saying his name over and over again. At this point, he was running on his instincts alone. Except, his goal no longer was about beating the shit out of Izu. Kagome put herself in harm's way. There was blood, Izu was trying to unleash his aura and he was afraid she might get hurt in the process. His instincts demanded that he put Izu in his place. He kept challenging his alpha's status and it was unacceptable. Rules demanded that he did that.

But, but his Kagome was in the hall -

She was not dressed.

He gave her a sheet! SHE ONLY HAD A SHEET ON.

Bedroom was not good. Bedroom did not have a door. He needed to bring her somewhere else - nobody could see her. Did they see her?

He turned around and before Kagome could register what he was doing, he sped her through his room and locked the both of them in the bathroom. Izu remained on the floor, blood spilling from the side of his head. Meanwhile, Ginta inspected the injuries, a sigh leaving his lips. He knew this was going to happen.

Kagome could feel Kouga's body shaking while he thud his head against the door. She wrapped her arms around his head and rested her chin on top of it. His hands were gripping at her but he was not hurting her. The change in position caused the sheet to fall off of her but neither cared. She had never seen him like this before. It was a completely different Kouga. Granted Izu might have deserved it but -  _for him to lose it like that_. She nuzzled the side of his head, hoping the touching would help him come out of his daze. His large hands slid down her tiny frame and he rested them above her rear.

 _What did he do_?

Although Kagome was holding on to him as if her life depended on it, he felt the quake of her body.

His eyes were wide open, the veil of rage slowly slipping away.

She saw the human in him, she never saw the other side. Not even in the feudal era.

If it was not for her intervention he might have killed Izu. He would have never killed her - he put her first. He feared he might not but the last time she intervened proved that her safety was important to him, even when he was not in control. He buried his nose in her neck and inhaled her scent; there was no fear laced with it. He waited a few more seconds, listening to her heartbeat as a way to calm himself down. Once he could see clearly, he used his hold on her to push her away. He grabbed the blanket and lifted it up so that she was covered again. She remained there, sitting on her knees on the cold floor while he rose to his feet.

"I gotta go. I've got to cover for him."

And those were the last words he said before he opened the door and walked out.

Kagome stayed there, her heart crushed, unable to get herself off the floor.

 _He walked out_.

-U-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THERE WAS LIME.  
> So.. you forgive me?


	20. Making Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god. I don't know what happened.  
> Please don't hate me. Don't throw rocks at me.  
> And this is a long chapter. Over 7000 words.

He fucked up. He seriously fucked up.

His hands were still throbbing from the rage that filled his blood earlier. His instincts had been in overdrive, his mind clouded by his need for her. To be honest, Izu had it coming. He had pushed his luck time after time and Kouga always kept himself in check. That time was one too many. He needed to learn his place and he simply could not challenge his alpha like that - and he would not tolerate him insulting and humiliating Kagome. She played no part in this and she did not deserve to be treated like that. It was clear that there was no more room for Izu in the pack. Unless he changed his attitude, Kouga would have him revoked from the pact.

No, actually…even if he changed his attitude, he did not want to see his face ever again.

The superficial wounds on Kouga's body were already almost all healed. He managed to conceal most of them with clothes which helped his situation. He did not need people asking questions or getting suspicious about anything. Plus, his anger was far from dissipated. If someone simply looked at him the wrong way, he was afraid his temper might slip him and he would have another incident on his hands. And he did not need to be any more of an idiot than he already was. Especially not in front of Kagome. Although he did not regret beating the shit out of Izu, he regretted the fact that she was there to notice the event.

The first time he lost control, she was there to stop him. This time, there was nothing she could have done.

All she did was prevent him from hurting Izu even more.

And he showed her that side of her. The one he usually kept locked inside. He was civilized, he was better than this. Then again, it was who he was was it not? He was a wolf, an animal. The modern world did change who he was on the exterior, but not what he was inside. Kagome was familiar with youkais and what not but - he did not think she knew everything they were capable of. She never saw the worst of him. She knew he ate humans before he met her but she never saw him raid villages and devour flesh. She never saw him kill an entire village. He never did it at random. He did it when they hurt his wolves, he did it to defend his pack. But it did not change the fact that he did it.

Kagome was she beautiful, pure and had the kindest heart.

He had no choice but to walk away. He was too ashamed to even look her in the eyes. How could he face her? She begged him to stop. She almost risked exposing herself to everyone to stop him.

This was not who he wanted to be.

And now? Now, she was probably pissed at him. Maybe it was best that way.

Why did he keep screwing up with her? First he blurted out he loved her at the wrong time and now this?

"Kouga, we need ya here."

He sighed before nodding towards his temporary boss. He had to spend the day working as a mechanic. It was a gig Izu had gotten for himself and since Izu was still Kouga's responsibility, he had to make sure he kept his job. Especially if he wanted him out of the house. Though there were about a million things he rather be doing. He wiped a black grease stain off of his cheek before dropping his dirty blue rag in his toolbox.

"Coming."

This day was never ending.

Hours passed slowly until finally, six o'clock came along and Kouga was free to leave this hell. He somewhat dreaded his return home though he was sure of two things; neither Kagome nor Izu would be there.  _His_  Kagome. He tried to clear his mind as he got to his car and hopped in. It did not take long before he was pulling into the driveway and parking his car by the house. His steps were sluggish as he went up the stairs and reached the door. It was as he opened it that a reality shook him; Kagome was there. Her scent should have been faint by now but it was not. The whole house smelled of her - and she was mad. Just as he had expected.

"Sorry," Ginta spoke as he came into view. He made sure to keep himself small with his aura down. He did not want to enrage Kouga any further. When was the last time he had seen him this pissed off? "She wanted to stay and - well, we figured it was best if we knew where she was. We weren't sure if Izu was gonna keep acting stupid."

Plus - things were a bit tricky at the moment. He was not going to bring it up now because there was too much going on. Still, they would need to go over it eventually. Despite the human world that surrounded them, they kept pack rules - hence why everyone answered to Kouga and why they all saw him as the Alpha. But that title came with responsibilities and rules. Kouga sort of broke one at the moment. He beat Izu and then he did disrespect Kagome - who was a pack member, it was not Kouga's place to intervene. Not that way. Kagome was his girlfriend. However, the word girlfriend did not mean much to ookamis.  _Mate_  did.

"Where is he?" Kouga asked as he kicked off his dirty, stained brown boots off of his feet.

"At Kui's appartment. He's still groggy." Apparently Kouga did more of a number on him than anyone expected.

"Kagome?"

"She's upstairs. We found her another room that's not - that has a door."

Fuck. He was going to have to fix that door. He liked his bedroom, it was the furthest from anyone else's and did offer a fake veil of privacy. And his bed smelled liked her. One thing at a time though.

"She's mad?"

"She's pissed."

Great. Now he could not wait to go upstairs. Then again, he was the one who left her there. It was only fair that he let her yell at him for his stupidity. Except, he was not sure she was actually going to yell at him. He was afraid he might have spook her away forever. He already nearly drove her away with his stupid three little words. And then he was coming on too strong - he just kept on messing up when it came to her. He could not do a single thing right could he? Maybe she had enough of it and now she was planning on ending things for good. He was going to lose her because he could not control himself.

Kouga walked in the direction of the stairs, his steps slow like he was a dead man walking, and slowly began to climb them. Her scent became more clear as he made his way up and he could already tell which room she was in. She no longer was right by the door. Instead she was at the end of the hall…beside Ginta's room. He held back a groan; that was not where he wanted her to be. Once he stood in front of the door, he took a deep breathe before opening it. He stepped inside but despite a quick glance at the bed and the desk, he did not see her. But she was in there - he could feel her...

 _SLAP_!

His head barely moved but there a slight tingle that spread through her left check, which was already injured due to his fight with Izu. He blinked before staring at the very angry miko that stood in front of him. Her nostrils were flared, her eyes were narrowed and her hands were back on her hips which made her look quite imposing despite her small stature. Her aura was expanding around her and he was not quite sure he liked having so much miko energy directed at him. There was no way that could be good for him. As all of his emotions and fears swirled inside of him, he missed the tears that were pooling in her eyes.

"You're an idiot," she said with a trembling voice.

She did not even mean to slap him - though she wondered if he even felt it. Her original plan was much different than this. She was going to walk up to him and yell until he could no longer take it. However, as she saw him walk in, something inside of her snap. She did not slap people and yet she slapped him. Because of him, she spent the entire day feeling like crap and in a stew of emotions. Sometimes she was so mad at him she could have screamed his head off and other times she was near tears. She did not even know what she was supposed to feel anymore. She did know one thing though; what words to yell at him.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Kag-"

"I mean you just walked out. Without a word."

It seemed her questions were rhetorical and she did not actually want him to answer them.

"What did you think I was going to do?" She threw her arms in the air. "Run? Why? Because you're a youkai and you acted like one?"

She saw Inuyasha do worse than that during their travel. She never ignored that part of Kouga and she knew it was there. Did she not see him nearly lose control a little while before? She knew it could be stopped, she knew she could calm him down but that did not mean she was upset because he let his instincts take over. Who did he take her for? At this point she was more insulted than anything else. If he thought she would leave him for this... than he did not know her at all. And if he - if he thought she could not understand the situation... then why did he went to be with her at all? Why would he want to be with someone who did not understand him?

"You said you loved me."

His eyes widened and his throat clamped up. They did not talk about that. He did his best to distract her from those words. Why would she bringing it up now? He had to stop her from talking. "Kagome, listen..."

"No!" she cut him off. "You walked out, so you don't get to talk." She exhaled loudly. "All you get to do is stand here while I yell at you."

If the situation had not been this bad, he might have smiled at her little outburst but in this case he held back.

" _You said you loved me_ , and then you walked out on me." She was terrified when he said that and yes, she did want to flee. But she stayed because it did not matter that they were not quite at the same place. She cared for him and she did not want to lose it so she overcame her fears and she stayed by his side. And she did not regret that choice at all. Yet, when he was presented with the same opportunity, he left her. "I - I couldn't - I can't say it back. But I was here. I stayed here."

This time, the tears slid down her cheeks. "And then you left. You said you loved me but you don't trust me enough to love you -  _all of you_." Her tiny chin trembled and she gripped her blue shirt while her fist shook. "You lied. You don't love me. Because of you did - if you loved me, then you would trust me to love every part of you. I know what you are." Her shoulders drooped and she felt a weakness snap in her knees. They were going to give under the pressure of the stress. "Kouga I don't care that you're a youkai. It makes you who you are. I know you're never going to be human and that's okay."

She did not even want him to be human, she wanted him to be himself. He let her be herself, he let her overcome the hurdles that stood in her way and he thought she could not accept his true nature. What was the point of this? Why were they together?

"You don't believe in me. You don't love me. You're  _a liar_."

It hit him like a lance to the heart. Her body was trembling and he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her body. He did not see it that way. He walked away because he was undeserving of her. She thought he walked away because  _she_  was not enough for him. He saw himself as a monster so there was no reason for her to accept him. It was not about not trusting her - it was about - what was it about? Even with his pack he had to be human - they all had to be. It became a habit and it never left them. What he was - it felt wrong sometimes. He never had a problem with it, he embraced the wolf inside but - sometimes it was not enough…

She wanted to yell at him some more while the tears streamed down her face. She needed to be mad at him; he toyed with her. He crushed her heart by leaving her there and he needed to understand it was wrong. Except he decided to turn her mood upside down.

He dropped to his knees in front of her and then, he wrapped his arms around her waist before resting his face on her thighs. She lifted her arms up, her heart racing as she stared down at him. What was that, why was he doing that? He squeezed, his face buried in her jeans even if it was absolutely not uncomfortable.  _He let Kagome_. He never wanted to let Kagome down. He never wanted her to doubt him and he never wanted her to think she was less than she was. He made her think he did not love her. He loved her so much that it hurt, it was constant pounding in his chest. He made her doubt that love and it was the worst mistake he ever made.

And he was making her cry.  _He made his Kagome cry_. He promised he would never hurt her and he broke that promise. He was less than less. He was nothing.

At first all she felt was his nose, the warmth of his breathe but then suddenly, her jeans felt wet. Was - was Kouga crying? She was supposed to be angry and she was not done yelling everything she had to yell at him. But - but regardless, she dropped to the ground and put her arms around him. She pressed her face to the side of his and exhaled. "I'm still mad at you."

He chuckled. He knew she was and he did not even deserve to have her hug him like this. But her words and her warmth made him smile. "Kagome - I  _do trust you_."

"Then why did you leave?" Now her voice was quiet.

"I thought I showed you I wasn't good enough."

Kagome frowned and this time she put her hands around his face, pulling him away from her body. She bumped their noses together and sighed. "Kouga, I have already told you. There is nothing wrong with you. The fact that you're a youkai doesn't make you  _less_  than enough. It makes you, you. And you is fine, you is perfect."

He covered her hands with his and it confirmed everything he knew since the moment he met her; she was perfect and he loved her. He needed her. "I don't deserve you."

"Honestly, I'm starting to think you're into the whole  _slapping_  thing."

He chuckled, the sound deep and reaching into her soul.  _Stupid wolf_. She was supposed to mad at him and hate him for putting her through that and now she was smiling. She gently smacked her forehead against his and shook her head. " _Again,_  still mad."

Kouga knew he was about to be stupid again, but he let it happen. "I love you Kagome.  _And I'm not lying_." He would never lie about that. "I doubted myself. Not you." He lifted his head and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I could never  _doubt_  you. And I'm sorry I made you feel that way." Another kiss. "I don't ever want you to cry because of me." He closed his eyes. " _Never cry because of me_. I'm sorry."

"You should be." But there was a tenderness in her voice that re-assured him.

He moved his lips down and crashed them against her mouth. After a quick peck, she pulled away. "If I kiss you, will you end up smashing a lamp again?"

Kouga narrowed his eyes at her but there was a glimmer of tease shining in his blue eyes. "Depends on how you kiss me."

She pointed her index at him and gently pushed him, putting a bit of her power into it.  _She zapped_  him. "You -?"

"Don't do this again. Don't  _ever_  do this again." When he walked out, it was like he left her. All the thoughts about him being better off without her, about her being the wrong choice for him, it all went out the window. Kagome did not want to imagine what her life would be like if Kouga was not in it. He  _had_  to be in her life. So he could not tease her, and lie, and leave. She  _needed_  him. Even the sight of him now made her heart soar.

She let her hands travel to his ears, feeling the unmasked pointy tip of them. "I know what you are. And there's nothing to accept because there's nothing wrong with you." She tilted her head to the side. "Though, in the future… try to remember that I like doors. And privacy."

He chuckled. "I'll try."

This is why he loved her; she had a kind loving heart. He was lucky that she even let him love her, that she let him touch her and be in her life. He was going to make sure she never regretted that choice. If there was one person he did not want to lose, it was her. He was going to make it up to her. He was going to love her until she was sick of his face. He brought his face even closer to hers and planted his mouth on her luscious lips. This time the kiss was more demanding, his own lips tugging at hers.  _She was here and it was real_. He had not lost her. He was done being an idiot.  _Kagome accepted everyone_  and that included him.

Kagome winced when she felt the buttery feel of the black grease spread on her own face. Considering how much he had touched her she could only imagine what she looked like at this point. She tore her lips from his and smiled. "Do I look like you?"

"What?" His eyes scanned her face until he realized what she meant. "A little bit."

Kouga decided to swipe his arms around her, lifting her off the ground. "Come on, there's a bathroom in here."

"Yes, there's also a  _door_."

"Smart ass."

The more she joked about it, the lighter it felt. It was easier to believe her words and convince himself that she truly did not mind. He walked them in the direction of the bathroom and then tried to wriggle one of his hand free. When she noticed what he was doing, she used her own hand to open the door. They entered and he lowered her onto the closed toilet seat. Then, he began to dig in for a clean washing cloth. Man, he missed his own bathroom. Finally, he pulled a white cloth and wet it before kneeling in front of her again. As much as he could be a dominant being, he never minded being in a more submissive position with her. Because she was loving and she would never take advantage. He never doubted that. He did doubt that he was good enough for her which caused her grief.

But never again.

He trusted her. She said she liked every part of him and he needed to remind himself that it was the truth.

Kouga used soft, little motions to begin scrubbing her face. After a while, it became obvious that he was making it worse; he had spread it all across her forehead. "Yeah, I think you're gonna need a shower. It's not coming off."

She glanced at him up and down. "I'm not the only one."

"Oh, I need a shower?"

"I can smell you from here," she teased.

This was good, this was better. When he left, she thought they would not go back to that lightheartedness. She feared that he would get stuck on that moment and never move on. He lost it and that was alright. She did not approve of unnecessary violence but she was not him. She did not have instincts driving her and she certainly did not hear the whole conversation. And she did not want to ask. She wanted them to keep moving past this. She told him how he made her feel, she shared with him how it broke her heart and she warned him not to do it again. Kouga was not a bad person and she knew deep down he did not want to hurt her.

He felt bad.

He shed tears.

He let go of all his pride simply to beg for forgiveness.

How could she ever turn him away? Especially after realizing just how much she needed him…

"You can smell me huh?"

He smirked, a hint of fangs showing, as an idea formed in his head. He rose to his feet and backed away while keeping his eyes on her. He pushed aside the green shower curtain and turned on the water and then the shower head. "I need a shower huh?"

 _Why did she feel like she was in trouble_?

His grin grew and before she knew it, he sped up towards her, captured her in his hold and sped back up in the shower. A yelp escaped her as the warm water began to soak her and her first reaction was to hit his chest. " _I still have my clothes on!_ "

"Do you? Shit, sorry."

She looked up at him, watching his smug expression. He was not sorry at all.

"You're the one who said I smelled."

"Yes, I meant  _you_  needed a shower."

"Oh no trust me.  _You_  needed it too."

She smacked his shoulder.

"You're a bit abusive today."

She laughed and he was forced to join in. She was completely soaked, her hair glueing to her face like a drape, while her clothes were darker and hung low. He cupped her cheek with his large hand and let a sigh escape his lungs. "You're beautiful."

Through the veil of the water, he could still see the hint of blush covering her pale skin.  _She was breathtaking_. And kind - how exactly did he get this lucky? He did not know. But he needed to show her that he meant every word he told her. He needed her to know he never lied about his feelings for her. His hands dropped to her waist and then, he leaned forward to capture her lips again. This time, he did not waste a moment; he slipped his tongue inside her mouth. He explored her moist cavern, his tongue demanding more than she could give. Fangs dug at her bottom lip while his hands squeezed her. It forced her to put her arms around his neck.

She gripped at the hem of his shirt, trying to hold on. The bottom of the bath was slippery and wet and the feel of him was enough to bring a weakness in her legs. Except his shirt was also soaked and heavy and  _oh_ … her thoughts fizzled away as he left her mouth to attack her neck. She tilted her head backwards, allowing him to leave open mouth kisses along the edge of her throat. His fangs nibbled at the skin when it could, leaving red marks, but never drawing blood to the surface. Her back was arched, not only giving him full sight of her neck but also leaving a hint of cleavage for him to admire.

Kouga could see her bra through her shirt and he groaned against her collarbone. As difficult as it was, he pulled himself away from her. Her arms fell into the emptiness as he moved away and he grabbed the edge of his shirt. He lifted it above his head, revealing his chest and he threw it on the ground of the bath. He was about to close the distance between their bodies again when he was stopped by her movements. Her arms were shaking as she proceeded to remove her own shirt. He remained there, speechless as she revealed a beautiful purple bra that cupped and pushed her breasts upwards.  _Those breasts_  - the ones that haunted his every thoughts since the moment he saw them.

As soon as the shirt was off, he pushed her against the furthest wall and immediately sucked the top of her breasts.

"Cold," she whispered.

Right. He had pushed them away from the stream of water and she was all wet. He regretfully removed his mouth from her skin and stretched his arm to redirect the water until it was on them again.

"Better?"

"Yeah," she answered, out of breathe.

She did not know where she found the courage to remove her shirt. Then again, he had seen her wearing a lot less than that. Though last time, it was planned. This was unexpected. And though she could not deny how nervous she was, she did not want to put a stop to anything yet. It did not feel enough. Especially not after the hollowness he brought forth in her heart. She wanted to feel him - every inch of him. She wanted to show him how much she needed him and make sure he would never pull something like that again. How could he not accept himself? How could he not see that she was fine with everything he was?

Kouga lowered himself down until his lips were on her navel. He let his tongue travel to the crest of her hips, finding out that she was a bit ticklish. He smirked before repeating his actions and forcing her to bend in two under the sensation.

"Not fair."

"Very fair."

He knew she was wet and aroused but the steam of the shower had dimmed the scent. Now that he was this close to her core, he could  _smell_ it and it sprung his cock to life.  _Fuck_. It was uncomfortable. His jeans were heavy and it was pressing down on his erection to a point that was almost painful.  _How would she feel if he took them off_? He did not even know what was happening. He brought her in the shower to tease her. He did not have a plan in mind. It was not a trick or anything.

"It's okay." She noticed the way he kept staring at his jeans. Her heart hammered in her chest as she repeated herself. "It's okay."

Kouga lifted himself up again and before he could even reach the button of his jeans, her fingers were on it. Then, her hands moved to his zipper and he winced. "Zippers are bad," he whispered.

"Zippers are -  _oh_." Because of his - yeah. Oh. She tried to keep a straight face as she  _slowly_  unzipped his pants.

And Kouga was sure he was about to come right there and then. There she was, bent over his cock, removing his pants.  _If this was not heaven he did not know what was_. His cock twitched as she pulled his pants down. Then, they fell all the way down on their own, leaving him in his white boxers. He lifted his legs to free his feet from the jeans. And then when he lifted his head back up, he found Kagome staring at his crotch.

 _Really,_  she did not mean to stare. But she had never - and his wet white boxers were sort of transparent and… she could see the outline of his  _thing_  as it pressed against the fabric. When she realized what she was doing, she hide her face in her hands.

"Is that a good staring or a bad staring?" He tried to play it off as a joke but he was a bit nervous.

"I - no, I -erm it's hm." Wow, that was eloquent. "I've never - seen one…" She groaned against her hands. "Please let me die of shame."

A smile graced his lips as he bent forward and carefully grabbed her wrists. He tugged to pull her hands away from her face and once he succeeded he grabbed her chin with his index and thumb, tilting her head forward. "We can stop now." He did not mean to push her too far and he would force his dick to go back down if he had to.

"No!" She slouched her shoulders. "I - I don't know what I'm doing and I just - this is new and I - I just I don't know."

"Kagome, we're doing whatever you want to do."

"I don't know what I want to do."

"Are you comfortable with this?"

She nodded. Embarrassed, yes. Uncomfortable, no.

"Do you want to keep going?"

She nodded again.

"Just say stop and I will."

She knew he would because she trusted him. Last time they did a little bit of exploring it turned out fine - it turned out very pleasing. Alright except for the way it ended but she doubted that would happen again. She breathed out slowly, giving herself a rush of courage before grabbing the button of her pants and working on undoing them. He saw her in less clothes than this. Pants were not a big deal. At least it was what she kept repeating to herself as she lowered them down, exposing her flesh to him. Kouga watched her with wide opened, hungry eyes and  _surprisingly_ , despite her clumsiness, he made her feel sexy.

Once she was free of them, he pushed his body back against hers, allowing her to feel his erection against her thighs. A warmth spread through her core and she closed her eyes while his hands found their way to her back. "Can I?"

She nodded and as soon as she agreed the clasp of her bra become undone. He did not know how much she would give him but he would take all of it. Their last moment together was interrupted and he was not about to let this one slip away from him. Again, her breasts were revealed to him and he tossed her bra aside. Immediately his mouth was on her nipple, suckling on it. He felt it harden in his mouth and let his tongue twirl around it. When he pulled it, he attacked the other breast. He left a trail of bites around the nipple, hearing her moan in pleasure.  _She seemed to enjoy the fangs_.

Clawed fingers grabbed her nipple, twisting it, teasing it and she arched her back even more, pushing her breasts in his face. This was heaven. Then it happened. It was completely innocent but it happened; a slight roll of her hips. It pushed her wet core against his cock and he snarled against her breast. His hands lowered to steady her hips before he  _died_. His thumb slipped under, into the fabric and she buckled. He was  _close_ , so close _._

 _"I love you_."

Except this time, she did not freak out. And he did not wish he could take it back. He wanted her to know, he wanted her to see he did not lie.

This was wrong was it not? But it felt good, it felt so good. Her head was swimming in lust and she needed to feel more of him. Her heart was ready to burst out of her chest and her lips were dry from all of her panting.

"Kagome-"

" _Yes_ ," she shouted. If she did not scream it now she might never say it.

Kouga blinked, unsure. Did she mean yes to - she did not even know what he was asking. "Are - you…"

"Do it." Her voice wavered and she was almost afraid it was going to come out as a wordless moan.

He took a deep breathe and did it; he lowered her underwear. Immediately, the scent of her arousal was all that surrounded him and he was forced to close his eyes and bask in the scent as he pushed them down further. His action revealed her core, decorated with a patch of short black curls.  _He wanted to bury his nose in there_. She kicked her underwear off by lifting her foot and then lowered her leg back down.  _This was it_. She was naked in front of him.  _She was naked in front of him_. He wanted to look at everything but he did not want to embarrass her at the same time. Hands traveled to her inner thighs and he caressed the skin, involuntarily causing her to spread her legs.

If he moved his hands upwards… he would be…

And he did.

His finger shyly slipped inside her core and this time, the sound that came out of her mouth nearly caused him to spill his seed in his boxers. He inched it slowly and her thighs clenched while her whole body quaked. He dove in, deeper and deeper until he curled it inside of her. At that point, all hell broke loose and the new found sensation forced her to wrap a leg around his waist. It was too much - overwhelming and part of her wanted to flee the feeling while the other part wanted  _more_  of it. As her leg kept sliding down, she kept moving it back up. Her actions forced his finger out and he smiled. The juices left on his finger were washed away before he could even think about  _tasting_  them.

Frustrated, Kagome lift her other leg. His body was slippery and this gave her a better grip. Though she could already feel the loss deep inside of her. She did not try to push him out. She did not know what she wanted. Her body hummed with desire and she did not know what would fix it. Now that her legs were wrapped around him, his erection was pressed right into her core, applying just the right amount of pressure. Kouga's hands were back around her waist, holding her up with the help of her legs. She felt secure enough to unwrap her arms from around his neck and she let them slid down the length of his chest. Every part of him was muscles and tightening flesh. Her fingertips teased his flesh, dragging all the way down to his abs.

And he thrusted gently into her, much like he had done this morning. And she responded back.

Her hips rolled against his, and he gave little thrusts.  _For the love of god he was dry humping her._ Her feet struggled to keep the hold, her thigh clenching, ready to give away. She could not bear the teasing while holding herself up. But they both kept going. There was a little voice in the back of his head that told him this was the worst idea he ever had but at this point, he could not willingly stop it. If she told him no, he would stop. He could not, however, tell himself to stop. All that stood between him and her sweet dripping core was his boxers. Flimsy little barrier that did not block anything. He could feel her wrapped around him, the warmth of her, the  _wetness_  leaking.

His cock was pulsing and he threw his head back, thinking he was going to die. And those hands, tracing the lines of his muscles, lowering as low as they could. Her fingers tangled with the hair leading down to his length and he  _wanted_  those hands wrapped around his erection. His thrusts became more demanding and so did hers. Feet tangled with his underwear and she lifted herself up higher again. And again.

Then it all happened too fast for him to stop it.

Her foot pushed his already lowering, heavy underwear down, and he thrusted his hips and -  _and his cock sprung free_. He noticed it in that second but she did not. And she thrusted back.

Then they both froze.

He could not breathe. He could not think. He could not move. The head of his erection was right there, enveloped in her warmth and  _oh god_  this was death. He cleared his throat in a foolish attempt to find back his voice. "K-kag-  _whatever you do_. Don't move."

Her fingers clenched around his hips and her bottom lip trembled. She could feel it; it was not deep but it was enough to be stretching her, promising sensations she knew she might like. Oh god. How did this happen? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Her heart hurt from pressing against her chest to hard and her mind was hazy.

He was going to pull out. He really was. He just - he just needed to focus for a second.  _Phew_. Alright. He could focus. He could do this.  _Oh god she was wet and_ \- oh fuck. Oh fuck. He removed one of his hands away from her and smashed it against the wall.  _Breathe_.

And then, her hips rolled again.

"Kag-kagome. Don't move." Now he was begging.

But she did not listen. Instead she closed her eyes as she inched him further inside of her. "It's okay," she whispered, her voice croaked.

He was hard and sultry inside of her and she just - just a little bit more. That was selfish, that was bad. But her heart wanted to explode and she just needed a little bit more. "It's okay."

She trusted him. She really did. And she could not tell him what real love felt like because all she ever knew was what a crush felt like. But when she thought he might not be part of her life anymore? She was terrified.

"Kagome - I can't - I…" Oh god, he did not even know how to speak anymore. All he did was keep himself steady while she lowered herself unto him.

"It's okay."

Those words, over and over again.

But then, the stretching became too much and she could no longer do it herself. Instead she winced and clutched his shoulders, blunt nails digging at his skin.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, her face still distorted.

"Do you w- do you wanna - " If they stopped now… he would come the moment he pulled out.

She shook her head. She could not find her voice but she knew this was the dreaded part. The moment of pain. He was pressing at the edge of her hymen and if he just broke through…

Kouga inhaled before finishing it himself. He could have kept her pace but he knew that would do nothing to ease the pain she was about to have. He did not go in one stride, but he pushed more and more, faster and faster, until finally he was completely buried inside of her. She buried her face in his chest, while he kept himself steady and not moving. Oh god, she was so fucking tight around him. And wet,  _fuck she was wet_. He gave her a moment to adjust and then, he knew he had to move again or the pain would never cease. He pulled out a bit and then, pushed back in. Her body was stiff in his hold but he kept going while his nose nuzzled her cheek.

She leaned into his touch while the worst was finally over. There was a twinge of pain pulsing through her but it was not as bad. She closed her eyes, trying to relax her body and make this better. Being stiff would not help. One of his hands was holding on to her ass, kneading the flesh, which helped to distract her. And then he was thrusting back a bit harder, pulling out more. He slid in and out without a problem, slowly tearing moans from her throat.  _Oh_ , oh _. That felt better_. Each time he penetrated her, he went a further, stretching new places and forcing a puddle of warmth in her lower regions. Her inner thighs trembled and she whimpered in need.

"Mhm, Kouga."

 _Fuck_.

"F-faster."

And she did not have to tell him twice. Now that she was comfortable, he stopped holding back. His face found its way in the crook of her neck, forcing her head back, while he became more demanding. Her nails scratched down the length of his back, the water washing away any damage she might do. He snarled while burying himself deep inside of her.  _It had been a long time_. Her breasts bounced every time he pushed inside and he was mesmerized. Her walls clamped around him, forcing him in and trying to suck him back the moment he retracted his cock.  _He wanted to be inside of her forever_. Today tested his patience and his instincts and he felt out of control.

He had been teased and angered and he wanted to take everything she was giving him and more.

His claws pierced her skin of her ass, drawing blood. He wanted to apologize but when it happened, when the tip of his claws sliced her flesh, she only moaned harder and he shivered in pleasure.

She felt herself choke on a gasp while his strokes stretched her in ways she did not know she could be stretched. And he filled her to the brim, pounding inside of her. He forced himself deeper in each time he slid back and the cries of passion that left her lips hid a built up she could not control. It was pressure forming in her core, a need that wanted to explode. Every time he stretched her, it was too much and she wanted him out but  _oh god_  when he pulled out she wanted nothing more than to be filled by it again. She  _needed_  something. He could provide it but she could not put it into words.

"Kou-ga," she begged.

And it was the hottest thing he ever head, forcing his cock to pulse inside of her. He was going to come. It was too much. The dragging of her nails, the way they would grip his rear and hold on when it became too much. Or the scent of her arousal mixed with her blood. He was dizzy and it was getting dangerous. Need pumped through his blood and oh he just wanted to graze his fangs along side her neck.  _Just for the thrill_. His thrusts became harder, her back and ass smacking into the ceramic tiles behind them.  _One graze_ , one taste of her flesh. He dragged them down, feeling her clench and quiver in his arms.

"Please."

She did not know what she was asking for but he had the answer. Her nails were embedded so deep in the skin of his back she  _knew_  he was bleeding.

His hand lowered to her core and his fingers quickly found the little nub of pleasure. He applied pressure before teasing it, twisting it and she cried against his chest.  _A little bit more_. And then it happened. She became undone around him. Her walls clenched, keeping him locked deep inside of her, while whirls of juices of heaven dripped around him, leaking out of her core. She voiced a scream of need that echoed through the walls of the shower and he  _knew_  he had to pull out before it was too late. He whimpered while he pulled out of her warmth and the instant he was out, he was done. Unable to hold his orgasm any longer, his release spurted against her thigh and leaked down the length of her leg.

They remained that way for a few minutes until finally, her legs gave up and unwrapped themselves from around him. He steady her up with his arms and she leaned into his chest, exhaustion claiming her body.

He kissed her neck, peppering her with as many kisses as he could.

"I love you, Kagome."

-U-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't, don't, don't hate me. It was bad? Too soon?  
> I'm freaking out over here.


	21. Morning After

The room was surrounded by silence, the sun barely peeking through the wavy dark red curtains. Despite that quietness, Kouga's face was adorned by a frown. His nostrils were opened wide as a familiar scent tore him from his rest; blood. His eyes slowly opened, revealing blue orbs, and he took a better sniff. This was not his blood; it was Kagome. A rush of adrenaline traveled through his veins and he sat up in a flash, trying to find the source of the injury. Meanwhile, Kagome laid by his side, still sleeping, with no apparent wounds on her body. He gripped the edge of the blankets and pulled them from their bodies. At that moment, the origin of the blood became clear; it stained the sheets beneath her.

She was bleeding from - oh god he did this.

Kagome groaned in her sleep, her arm reaching out for the blanket in an attempt to find back the warmth she lost. Unfortunately for her, it was out of reach. She was forced to open one eye and then saw Kouga staring at her with panic in his eyes. His jaw was clenched and his line of sight was locked on her... wait what?

"Fuck, Kagome. I'm so sorry!"

She looked at him and then at the blood between her legs. Di- did he think that was his fault? Part of her wanted to die of embarrassment, but it was hard to do so when she could barely hold back a laughter. She leaned forward and grabbed his shoulders with her hands, gently squeezing them in the hope of relaxing him and comforting him. "Kouga you didn't hurt me."

"You're bleeding." He hurt her - was he too rough? It was her first time, he should have been more careful. Heck, it should have been better than what he gave her. She deserved better than to lose her virginity in the shower. He fucked up, he really fucked up. He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the knots at the same time, but he did not care. "Fuck."

He was going to shame her, he was going to force her to say it out loud. "Kouga, It - I'm - it's my period." They were fairly regular, though they always varied by a couple of days. After everything that happened lately, it sort of slipped her mind. Plus she did not think it would happen so suddenly and be so heavy. She never bled much. And now she had soaked and ruin his sheets and most likely his mattress. Now that the truth was out, she was free to hide her humiliation. She let her body drop and she hid herself in the pillow.

P-period?

Oh.

Well now he felt like a fucking idiot. As his blood flow returned back to normal and her heart no longer hammering in his chest, he realized just how stupid he was. He made a big fucking deal out of it and he mortified her. He sighed before leaning forward and laying his head on her bare back. He gently left a trail of kisses down her spine, but obtained no reaction out of her. This was not how he wanted to morning after to go down; he was supposed to sneak out of bed and make her breakfast, bring a little romance into it. Instead, she was hiding from him for no valid reason. He smirked before letting his fangs poked out and then, nibbled her naked rear.

She yelped and turned her head to look at him. She had been so focused on the blood that she completely forgot about her lack of clothing. She tried to narrow her eyes, but he flashed her a grin and suddenly it was difficult to be mad at him. She did wish she could melt into the mattress though. "Sorry about the mess."

"Kagome, it's a mattress. I don't give a shit."

Plus, he was not even focused on that. Instead, he relished in the scent he had just caught. He had been so panicked when he awoke that he did not take the time to let the scent sink in, but now he had. And he almost regretted it. Nope, the blood was definitively not coming from an injury. If it was just to him, he would dive between her legs and lapped at her core until he licked her clean. Obviously, he could not. Already he was afraid he had pushed it too far and he did not intend on skipping steps again. Kagome might love all of him and he trusted her, but he would not go all wolf on her so soon. They had just begun their physical closeness; he could not unleash himself.

"Are you okay?"

"I told you it's just my -"

"That's not what I'm talking about."

It took a second for her to understand the meaning behind his words, but when she did, she was horrified. He thought she regretted it, he thought he made her do something she did not want to do. Was he not there in the shower? She was pretty sure he tried to stop it and she was the one who initiated it. All of it was her fault. However, she did not see it as a mistake. How could it be? If she thought she might regret it, she would not have done it. It had felt right at that moment; she had wanted it to happen. Despite the small twinge of pain she felt when she move too quickly, she was glad they did it. But there he was, fearing it might all be his fault.

"Kouga, I don't regret it." She had been so exhausted after the events that they had opted for a good night of sleep. As soon as he had wrapped his arms around her she had been a goner. Because of that, they did not truly talk about it. Then again, she thought there was nothing to talk about.

He inched closer to her and she turned to her side to comfortably look at him. He put an arm around her, pressing their chests together. Then, he buried his face in the crook of her neck. She was not lying and yet he required the confirmation that she was not going anywhere. He feared he might lose her when he told her he loved her and then the mess with Izu happened... and then sex. It was a crazy last couple of days. He nuzzled her skin, letting her scent sink in. She smelled different now; more like him. He would be lying if he said he did not enjoy the sudden shift. Scent marking was his only way of marking her. Granted, it was not as useful as it used to be, but it was nice to do it. It satisfied the beast within him.

Kagome snaked her hands around his neck, gently massaging his scalp with her fingers. She wanted this to be a sweet moment, and she understood his need to seek comfort from her. However, it could not be a sweet moment. "Can we resume this when I'm not bleeding all over the place?"

He wanted to tell her that he did not care and there were ways to keep her in that bed without making a mess, but he refrained. Instead, he forced his face away from her neck and covered her lips with his. Although it was meant to be a quick kiss, it was passionate, his tongue sweeping across the seam of her lips. Her body vibrated with need beneath his and he could not stop it as all of his blood rushed downwards. He felt his cock swell, brushing up against her inner thigh and a shiver took over his body. He could never get enough of her and that scent of hers was not helping. He forced himself way from her face and put his best straight face.

But it was too late because she felt it. Proof of that was the blush that spread across her cheeks.

Damn it. Why did he do that? She felt the puddle of warmth that formed in her lower regions and she squeezed her legs. Nope. Blood. Wow, could mother nature have a worse timing? Now of all time. It was not cute, it was embarrassing and it ruined it all. She was supposed to wake up in his arms - not with him freaking out, thinking he hurt her. Although that had been slightly amusing. He did worry a bit too much. She might only be human, but she was not that breakable. Maybe he was going to need a reminder about that. Still, now she had to focus on something else than the thoughts in her head and the pressing hardness that kept brushing up against her.

Now, one shot - or she would never move.

She hopped off the bed, tearing herself away from his arms. She already missed his warmth, but she did not let it show. She walked towards the bedroom, deciding it was best not to look at him while she asked a shameful question. "Do you have anything..."

"Yeah, I think the girls kinda left shit everywhere just in case."

Oh thank god. This already ruined the mood and she did not want to make it worse by having him getting some stuff for her. She was never as relieved as when she closed the bathroom door and isolated herself. As soon as she glanced around, she noticed one thing; their clothes. They remained on the floor, completely soaked and all bundled up. Fuck. She did not have any clothes - not even underwear. Of course her nightmare could not be over that easily. She resisted the urge to bang her head against the door and instead she took a deep breath; she had to go back out there. She resigned herself and opened the door before peeking her head out.

"Hm, Kouga?"

She found him laying across the bed, still naked, with his phone in his hands. "Yeah?"

"My clothes are wet."

Oh right, the clothes. He completely forgot about that. He dropped his phone on the bed and stood up, hoping to find something in the drawers. Kouga did not have her shame when it came to nakedness. He strutted to the drawers, baring it all for her to see. He remained hard from their previous interaction on the bed, but he did not hide it. It attracted her attention and involuntarily, she followed it with her eyes. She had not gotten a good look at it last night, but now it was there for her to see. It was no wonder he had felt large inside of her. How did that fit? She squeezed her legs together at the thought while he smirked, as if he guessed the thoughts forming in her head.

He dug through a drawer and pulled out a black t-shirt that seemed small enough to fit her, along with a pair of short. He walked over to the door that she had left open. It seemed that since she was ashamed about her staring, she retreated back inside. He chuckled as he watched her, looking at the wet clothes on the floor. He kept a tight grip on the clothes and closed the distance between their bodies. He used his free hand to grab hers and he tugged her closer. She stared at his face, the familiar blush back on her cheeks. Though she did hold his gaze this time.

"Stop it."

"I'm not doing anything!"

"I told you, I don't give a shit."

She sighed. "I just wished it didn't happen today."

"Who cares?"

"I do! It's embarrassing and it's - disgusting."

He blinked. "Disgusting?"

She nodded; how could it not be? She could not even understand how he was so fine with all of this. She would not hold it against him if he had a bad reaction. The thought that he had hurt her freaked him out more than this.

However, he had a completely other vision about this. And he never wanted her to be uncomfortable around him. He used his hold on her to push her against the nearby wall, covering her body with his. "Quit being so embarrassed." He trailed his lips alongside her throat, his breath teasing her. "I think it's sexy."

"S-sexy?" she managed to grunt out, afraid to breathe.

How could he turn her on with a mere touch? His body was flustered against hers, his erection digging into her thigh while his lips got a taste of her skin. She put her hands on his chest with the intention of creating some distance between them, but he did not let that happen. Instead, he slid down lower, her hands landing on his shoulders. She gripped at them while he captured a nipple between his teeth. She hissed, arching her back and pushing her chest closer to his mouth. He used her new position sucked on her breasts, his fangs threatening to break the flesh. Already he felt the wetness that spread between her legs and his cock twitched.

Now that he had a taste it was hard to pull away, it was hard to  _not_  touch her.

Although they had taken that step, there was so much they had not done. He wanted to explore every inch of her with his tongue, he wanted to show her just how wonderful she could feel. He pulled his mouth from her breast, leaving a trail of dampness behind, and he inched himself down even more. Lips found her stomach and he kept lowering, and lowering until he reached the patch of black curls. Kagome held her breath, her mortification worse than ever and she cringed as he buried his nose in the curls.  _There was no way this was good_. He had to be somewhat disgusted. And yet, his hands were gripping her ass, claws threatening to break the skin.

Kouga closed his eyes, knowing that if he did not, she would notice the redness that took over. He wanted nothing more than a taste of her, but he also knew it was dangerous. He felt how crisp and stiff her body was; she was uncomfortable. That was the last thing he wanted. He needed to pull himself away and wait until she was more at ease with this kind of stuff. Still, he let his nose nuzzled and the scent was so strong that he could taste it. His jaw clenched, his self-control slipping him.  _One taste_. How bad could one taste be? His lips were quivering as he parted them and then, he tilted his head forward, allowing his tongue out. It was a quick lap, just enough for his tongue to part her folds and dive inside to steal a taste.

 _"K-ou-kouga."_ His name came out like a stutter and her body quaked, knees ready to give out.

His tongue retracted back into his mouth and he growled against her as her divine scent spilled into his mouth, exciting his taste buds.  _Enough_. He glided his fingers across her skin, then down her legs, before retrieving the clothes that had fallen on the ground. He forced himself up and handed them to her. For the first time, he opened his eyes, the red still over taking the usually calm blue in his orbs. His fangs were sticking out, breaking into his bottom lip which gave her a hint of how  _not disgusted_  he was. His breaths were jagged and he forced a kiss on the side of her head, hoping to calm himself down. His cock was hard it became painful, but he managed to leave her alone in the bathroom.

Kagome watched him go, unable to find her voice. She did not even remember how to breathe, instead letting the pressure in her chest built up. She had heard about  _that,_  but she did not think it could actually feel so wonderful. One swipe of the tongue and she was ready to crumble in his hold.  _But there was blood_  - and he hardly seemed to mind. Parts of her yearned to go after him, but she remained grounded. As sensual as the promises of his tongue were, she did not think she could fully let herself go. She had not reached the level of comfort with him yet. Already she felt like she was never going to live this incident down.

Kagome ended up resigning herself and washing off the blood before getting dressed. She required a few moments to collect herself, but she did manage to make it out of the bathroom. In the room, she found Kouga completely dressed with a simple t-shirt and a pair of shorts. Once he caught a glimpse of her, he flashed her a grin. On cue, her stomach growled.

"I think we need to feed the little human."

"Who you calling little?"

He leaned forward, grabbed her hand and used his hold to push her against the wall. His body slammed against hers before he rested his forehead against her. "Who do you think?"

His presence was intoxicating. One thing. One thing happened between them and he became like a drug. Her body drummed for his touch and his constant teasing was not helping. Kouga was many things, but she never thought he would be  _this_  sensual. This whole time he had made sure he was not pushing her, respecting her and the boundaries she laid down. Now she was left wondering why she ever feared this? Though she was shy, she dipped her chin forward and stole a quick peak from him. Unfortunately, he did not let her off that easy. Before she could pull away, he captured her lips into a long, sensual kiss. One that sent tingles all the way down to her toes.

As he pulled away, she followed his mouth, but it was too late. She heard him sigh and she opened her eyes.

"Let's get you some food."

He wanted her to go downstairs  _now_? What was she supposed to do? Hide the blush in her cheeks? Ignore the tightening in her loins? She took a deep breath and nodded before following him outside the room.  _He was lucky she was indeed starving_. Who would have thought that sex got you hungry?

It was not too long until they made their way down the stairs and into the kitchen. Kagome had remained stress free the entire time, but Kouga's body was tensed. He knew how this  _breakfast_  could go and he hoped it would be as pleasant as possible for her. Although with a pack of noisy wolves he hardly thought that was even a possibility. He tried to keep her upstairs, but there was no way to do it. Facing everyone was the only option they had. Plus, he did not really want to tell her  _why_  she might not want to go downstairs. Surely - surely Ginta and Hakkaku reminded everyone that she was  _human_  and thus easily embarrassed…right?

Kagome gasped as she noticed the unusual amount of people in the kitchen. Did everyone wake up at the same time?

"Hey, look who it is," Ginta said with a grin as he brought the cup to his lips.

 _Oh, they were fucked_. Kouga winced before making a mental note to make him  _suffer_  for this.

"Hey Ginta," Kagome replied with a smile, unaware of what was to come.

"Did you guys sleep well?" He wanted to keep a straight face, but he simply could not. No matter how hard he tried, his lips would quiver and his face would break into a grin.  _Nobody_  expected their little fight to end that way. It had started so well -  _the girl could slap_.

A hint of a blush developed on her cheeks, forcing her to turn her head away from them. "Yup, great."

A low growl emanated from Kouga as he narrowed his eyes. The word  _enough_  was silently spoken, but nobody seemed to listen.

"You must be starving," Hakkaku pitched in as he turned on the coffee machine.

"A little," she answered with a raise of the eyebrow. "Everyone's up early today."

Hakkaku smiled at her. "Well, you know. Difficult sleep."

"Ah, you know Hakkaku," Ginta said while nudging closer. "Showers are a great way to relax before bed."

"You know you're right." He turned to Kagome and Kouga, a sly smile on his face. "Have you two every tried taking a shower? You know to calm your nerves?"

Kagome's face fell and then she turned to Kouga with wide eyes. "THEY KNOW?" Oh god,  _now_  she wanted to disappear forever. She was forced to stare down at the ground, unable to meet any of their gazes. This was a nightmare - this was not real, and she was still in bed dreaming. She had not bled all over his sheet and she was not standing a room full of wolves who knew what she did.  _Nope_ , she was not. Shame bubbled through her chest and she hid her face in her hands.

Kouga sighed, his aura letting everyone know just how displeased he was at the moment. Pissed off alpha should equal a very scared pack. He moved closed to Kagome and grabbed her upper arms, tugging her into his chest. He rested his chin on top of her head. "Kagome, they don't  _know_ know."

"Oh so they don't know we had sex," she mumbled against his chest.

He winced. "They do know that."

"It's not like we were listening," Hakkaku offered as a sort of apology.

"Do we have to have this conversation in front of them?" she begged.

"No, because anyone who values their  _head_  will go see if they're needed somewhere else." The warning was quiet, but everyone understood it. Awkwardly, they all walked around them and moved to the next room. Once he made sure they were all gone, he pulled her away from the comfort of his arms. "So they heard."

"They  _heard_?"

"You weren't exactly quiet," he teased.

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" She groaned. "And oh my god. So they can hear? Every time?"

He wanted to say no, but he did not want to lie to her. He did not have to give her a verbal answer though as his facial expression answered it all for him.

"And smell? Oh, my god they can smell me." She reeked of blood and sex and - oh my god. She wanted to die. Why did it feel like bad luck was following her around? One small break, that was all she was asking for.

Kouga could not help, but smile at her shame - he should not, but he did. In a wolf pack there was not anything that resembled privacy and even if he yelled at everyone to mind their own business they would not. Except, he was not quite sure Kagome would ever be comfortable with that setting. The simple fact of having  _him_  walk around naked had her blushing. Although that did put a damper on future activities… now she knew that they could  _always_  hear. It was not as though they listened through the door, but - loud noises made it to everyone's ears. Frankly, he had not even thought about it last night…

"Kagome, they're not  _trying_  to know what's happening."

"But they'll hear."

"Only if you're loud."

"Have you met me?"

He chuckled and leaned forever to kiss the top of her head. "Don't worry about it. They're tryin' to show ya they're happy." Which was the whole reason for the gathering - well, yes they wanted to tease them, but they also wanted to congratulate them. It was a long time in the making.  _Kagome_  was his. And he could not be happier.

"Now let's get you some food. And eat it upstairs."

"I like that idea." She did not think she could look anyone in the face for a while.

"And home. Before your mother figures out that a sleepover doesn't last a week."

 _Oh right._  That. She would have two choices; tell her mother the truth or lie - and she was not too keen on the idea of lying to her mother. Although the explanation for her long departure from home would bring about a  _long talk_. Then again, it was perhaps best to face her mother rather than a pack of curious wolves. She let her hand sneak into Kouga's and he tore her away from the wall where she had been hiding herself.

There was no other choices; she had to get used to life in a pack.

-U-

_Can you come over tonight (don't use the front door)._

That was all the text said. Kouga stared at it all day and never even gave her anything more than a simple  _ok_  as an answer. He did not dare to call, he did not dare to expand on it. He knew she had a long conversation with her mother - he did not know about what, and he feared the tone of the text message did not lead to anything he would enjoy. Also,  _don't use the front door_? That meant he was sneaking in - past her mother's bed time. He had to go there late, sneak in and talk to her. Did her mother forbid her from seeing him? The last thing Kouga wanted was to cause trouble with her family. Why would her mother suddenly hate him?

After her departure, he had finally indulged the guys, letting them tease him. They needed to get it out of their systems and he rather they did it with him instead of Kagome. He also had a grin on his face the whole time. It was not supposed to happen now or like it did, but  _it was done_. She seemed okay with it - until now. Unless it had nothing to do with what took place. Perhaps he was being paranoid and there was nothing to it. Yes, that sounded like a more logical explanation. At least that was what he told himself as he stared at the stairs leading up to the shrine. It was past ten o'clock and he  _knew_  her mother was asleep. But, he had not found the courage to make it to her window.

He did not like this unsettling feeling.  _Come on_ , he was not a coward.

Kouga took a deep breath and finally silently made it up the stairs. He stayed away from windows' sight and used his speed to reach hers. Rapidly he climbed out and found himself facing closed curtains. He dared to quietly knock against the glass while he kept himself steady with his other hand.  _He was like a teenager sneaking in_. Plus last time he was here, her mother found out and it did not end as well as it could have. His heart beat picked up while he waited and relief washed over him when Kagome appeared while pulling the curtains open. She opened the window and put a smile on her face before getting out of the way.

It was not a good smile - it was a twitchy smile.

He closed the window behind him and then turned around to face her. She was staring at the ground while awkwardly playing with her hands. "Is something wrong?"

She did not mean to be this cryptic, but she knew it was not something they could talk about on the phone and it was too long to type it up. Plus, she did not want to have this conversation while her mother was around. The best way was to have him come over. It did not strike her immediately. First, she talked with her mother, explaining that she wanted to see Kouga and fell asleep waiting for him. Then they had a sort of fight and made up. She left the sex part out of it. She did not think it was a topic she was comfortable discussing with her mother and if she did know, there was no way she would be allowed over there again.

For now, a little white lie was helpful.

Then, after that conversation was finally over, she went upstairs and took a shower. It was when she saw the blood that it hit her just how lucky she had been.

" _We didn't use anything_."

It was a very serious matter, but he could not help it as his shoulders slouched; he thought she regretted it or that he was not allowed near her - or  _worse_. This - this was good. This he could take. He had realized that somewhere when he felt his release close. Hence why he pulled out. Although it was not the safest method… it had been better than nothing.

"I mean, I think about Yuka, and I wonder how I could have been so stupid." She watched her friend go through a traumatic experience that left scars behind. And then she turned around and had unprotected sex. Did she not see how this tore apart her friend? Also, it rose a few questions she had regarding her relationship with Kouga. Although, they were not at those questions yet. They had simply begun dating and there were a few things they would not cover for a while. Questions she did not even want to ask now. Yet, she could not help the panic that forced itself into her chest.  _What if her period did not come?_

"We didn't even talk about this," she continued, never giving him a chance to reply. "Do you want kids? Do I want kids? I mean why would we talk about this. We just began dating. That won't even be for a while! But what if? And then, what if I was pregnant. I couldn't do it. I respect Yuka's choice, but I couldn't do it. I'd keep it. And then what? I mean would you leave? Do you want kids now? And they wouldn't be youkai. They would be hanyou and how does that even work in the world today…"

She could not keep on babbling since Kouga silenced her by putting his hand on her mouth.  _She was freaking out and he had to stop it_. He did not think they would be having this discussion now. Their relationship was new and though he was all in, he did not know about her. His recent I love you did freak her out. Regardless, he knew the answers to all those questions and if it soothed her to hear them, he would tell her.

"It was dumb, and it was my fault."

" _No_ ," she mumbled against his hand.

"Yes. I'm the experienced one, I should have known better." He had done this before, and he  _knew_  about protection. She was a virgin who had her unexpected first time - the blame was on him. "I won't make that mistake again." He did not want her to freak out, he did not want her to worry about all this. "I don't know if ya want kids. I know that I thought I wouldn't have them. The world is all kind of messed up, and being a youkai is hard enough as it is. And trusting someone? I didn't think it was gonna happen. I mean, they are a few youkais left. I knew it was possible, but not just  _cause_  she's available that I want her…" If he did end up having a cub for the sake of having a cub… it wasn't the same. "So I didn't think much about it.  _Now?"_ He lowered his hand and dropped it to her side. He grabbed her hand with his, intertwining their fingers. "I'm gonna freak you out again," he smirked. "But I trust you. And if you get pregnant, I'll want those cubs. Because I love you Kagome and I want to stay with you. So if you want cubs, I'm in. If you don't, then we don't."

It was a big scary speech. But she was the first woman to make kids a possibility. He trusted her, she knew about youkais and she loved all unconditionally. She would not resent the child, she would not hate it; she would love it. Although all of this made him sound like a sappy fool.

"And if you were pregnant? I'd respect your decision." This was nothing like with Izu. He did not want Yuka. Kouga wanted Kagome - and everything else that came with it. Though, he would not be mad if she decided to terminate the pregnancy. "And if you were pregnant, and wanted to keep it, we'd keep it."

He lowered his body until his nose bumped into hers. " _And I'd never leave_." A quick peak on the lips. "Nothing would ever make me leave ya." He winced. "Except that one time when I was really stupid and I left after that thing? And then you thought I left? Remember. You slapped me," he said teasingly.

"I have a vague memory of that," she said as she tilted her head backward to kiss his nose. "I think we have sex after that?"

"Did we?" He twisted his mouth, pondering. "I don't recall that." He moved his hands to her hips and squeezed gently dragging them to her rear and lifting her off the ground. Immediately she lifted her legs, and wrapped them around his waist. He loved the feel of her pressed against him; already the blood was rushing downwards. "Maybe I need a reminder."

She giggled as he pressed his lips to hers and she leaned into the kiss. His tongue licked her lips, begging for entrance. She granted it immediately and he swiped his tongue inside her mouth. He tasted her, swirling his tongue around in her mouth, then pulling out to tug on her bottom lip with his teeth. She shivered and pressed her breasts into him.  _She loved the fangs_. He decided to test his theory by leaving her lips and raking her teeth down the length of her throat.  _He was not prepared for her reaction._ Her scent exploded and wetness spread in between her legs. He rolled his eyes, inhaling as much of the sweetness as he could.

 _And that was enough_.

He put her back down on the ground while she remained in a daze. "Come on, let's sleep."

"Sleep?"

"I'll stay until ya fall asleep."

It was mostly for him. He did not know how he was going to sleep without her. The bed sheets were washed because of the blood and now he had nothing left of her. He had to return to a place where her scent was not. He got to taste her body in the most intimate way and he had to give it all up. He was a bit possessive and letting go of her was going to cost him everything. He knew he had to see her every day, touch her; she was a need, a drug.

He allowed her to lead him to the bed and they both went under the blankets. His arms snuggled around her and he held her close, burying his face in the crook of her neck. There, her scent was the strongest, and it was the best way to remember it and carry it with him all night. His fingers brushed against her ribs and she pressed her rear into him.

He wanted this, every night.

He wanted to be with her until his last breath.

-U-


	22. Reality Check

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Really, I have no excuse. I lost a family member and it really downed my inspiration and my mood to write. And then, I was doing better but - honesty, I had so much real life stuff to catch up on that writing did not fit in the schedule. I cannot guarantee regular updates, I am taking it one step at a time, but i will keep the promise I made regarding all my stories: They will all be completed. I can't say when but I will not give up on any of my stories. Ever.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me.

Morning washed over her like a ghostly wave caressing her cold, pale skin. At first, everything was softness and everything was soothing. Then, reality settled in. Waking was synonym of loneliness; when her eyelids fluttered open, he was long gone. She wasted precious minutes rubbing her face against the softness of her sheets, inhaling what was left of his strong pine scent. She did so until her nostrils burned and then she forced herself up. This was bad. How could someone want a person that badly? He used to be a stranger, an annoyance she was constantly trying to get rid of and now - now she could not get enough. She missed him.

When she finally made her way downstairs, her mother had already gotten started on breakfast. Food covered the table and her brother and grandfather were happily chugging down everything within reach. She softy shook her head as she sat down beside them.

"Morning sweetie."

"Morning mom."

Her mother had not asked her any questions. Not about the sleepover, not about Kouga. Kagome could not help but be suspicious; she had this strange feeling that her mother knew. She had to know. It was written all over her face; NO LONGER A VIRGIN. God. The simple thought of it painted her cheeks red and forced her to look away from her mother. It was not an easy conversation to have. She was an adult, she should be allowed to make important decisions such at that one but… but… Sometimes she still felt like a teenage girl. She did lose all of her teen years… There was also the shame. The shrine was a sacred religious place and she was being… unholy.

Kagome was snapped back to reality by the clacking of a plate against the table. She raised her gaze and noticed her mother had put some food in front of her.

"You might want to get some before they finish it," she spoke with a smile.

Kagome forced a grin and then reached out for a fork. Oh yes, she knew. She smiled. She smiled, meaning she had to know. Or maybe she was being paranoid and her mother was simply smiling. People did smile for no reason right? No need to panic. Not that she was panicking of course.

"How was the sleepover?"

Kagome cleared her throat and then stared intensively at the brightly colored fruits on her crystal white plate. "Good."

"What did you do?"

Alert. Alert! Sex. That was what she did. She had wild, wild sex. Unplanned. So that helped right? "Shopping. Oh and facial masks." Words were quite difficult today. She felt like everything she said was an admission of guilt. No reason to be guilty right? She was an adult. Adults had sex. It was okay.

"Thanks mom." Those were Souta's last words before he jumped off his chair, grabbed his schoolbag and dashed out of the house. Miyu smiled tenderly at him as she watched him go.

"That sounds like a lot of fun," she finally replied when the back door closed loudly.

Miyu let a small silence sink in, allowing Kagome to take a few bites of her food - even though every bite was painful, slowly making its way down her throat like it was going to choke he. It also gave her grandfather enough time to finish his breakfast. He thanked his daughter in law and then, exited the kitchen in direction of the living room. Kagome watched him leave, a small nervous ping forming in her chest. She was about to be alone with her mother and for the first time in her life, that was a very stressful thought. Lying made her uncomfortable. Even though this was not lying per se, more like an omission of the truth… Regardless. Her mother was someone she could always talk to about anything. And now? Things felt different and strange. She did not like it.

"How's Kouga?"

There it was. The conversation was heading in that dreadful direction. Or her mother could simply be asking how her boyfriend was. No, no because that was too simple, too easy. "He's good," Kagome mindlessly replied while pushing some food around her plate. Her stomach was knotted and suddenly, her appetite was gone. She was the worst daughter in the world.

"Good." One breath. "Kagome…"

"We didn't!"

Her own outburst surprised her and her blue orbs widened as she stared at her confused mother. Miyu had one delicate eyebrow arched as she searched her daughter's face for an answer; she found none.

Oh you idiot. Damage control time. "I- mean I didn't - we didn't see each other." Bad Kagome. Bad liar.

A soft smile tugged her mother's lips and she put her fork down. "Kagome, I don't mind if you see him. You know that right?" There were a few rules but what kind of mother would she be if she did not impose a few rules? Her daughter had to grow up faster than most but it did not mean she had all the answers. She was simply trying to help her fight her way while making the least amount of mistakes possible. She did not want to see her get hurt - not again. Her daughter had shed enough tears over a boy. Although, she did not believe Kouga was the type to make her daughter cry.

"I know." But, but…

"You're still young, Kagome." Her shoulders slumped down and she pinched her lips for a moment. "I want you to do all the things you want to do. I don't want you to restrict yourself, I don't want you losing out more than you already have." She knew how important time traveling was to her daughter. She understood that she was needed on the other side of the well… but it never made it easy. She accepted it and she would not do anything differently but… "You already missed out on so much. I simply want to make sure you get to have everything."

Miyu was not against the relationship and she had nothing against Kouga; he was a nice boy. Although, she might notice things her daughter missed. "He's much older. He's lived through many lives. You haven't." Her daughter was strong willed and rarely let anyone step all over her. But love? Love made everyone do stupid things. "Don't forget to figure out what you want."

Kouga was her old world. But they were not in that world anymore. They were back into the modern world and it worked differently. She never wanted to pressure her daughter and she wanted her to heal on her own time. However, she would have to eventually figure out what she wanted out of life. She was human. She could not live the way they all did.

"I know, mom."

The future was a stressful topic; she did not know what she desired. She had nothing; no education, no plan. Up until now, she did not even have any friends. They went their own way, living the life they always wanted. Meanwhile, she was left behind without a clue. Who was she going to be? What was she going to do? Those questions never seemed that important when she was with the pack. Nobody was stressed and everybody enjoyed each day on its own. However, she could not deny the fact that her mother was right. She needed a plan.

She put down her fork, her appetite now long gone. Why did everything have to be so stressful? Why was it that nothing could be simple?

-U-

Four days.

He had not seen her in over four days and he knew why. It was not the way the guys embarrassed her or her new knowledge that they would hear them every time. Part of him feared it was because they had sex but the rational part of his brain was screaming that it was because of the blood. She was ashamed of her period and preferred to stay away from him during that time. He could hardly blame her; humans were not as comfortable with blood as youkais were. To him, it made her absolutely delicious and he wanted to do nothing more than devour her. But, he would respect the limits she set out for them. He would never make her do anything she did not want to do.

He already almost regretted the sex. Was it too soon? Did he push her too much?

"KOUGA!"

As the sound of his name echoed through his head, he snapped his gaze up and found himself staring at Ginta. The younger male was waving a hand in front of his face with a perplexed look on his face.

"Ya alright?"

"Yeah."

"I've been calling you for like five minutes."

"Distracted."

Ginta laughed. "I can see that." He smirked. "Anything to do with sis?"

Kouga tossed a glare his way, letting him know it was best if he shut up but Ginta did not seem scared. Instead, he kept on chuckling. "She hasn't been around in a while."

"Because you idiots had to tell her you knew." Lie. But maybe if he made them feel bad enough, they would not do it again. He almost snorted; yeah right. These idiots were having the time of their lives with this juicy piece of information.

"Really we just wanted to tease you."

"Smart mouth."

"Come on, sis knows we mingle. And if we hadn't - well you two wouldn't even be together so…"

They might have a point there, but he was never going to admit to that. He was never going to give them that satisfaction - despite the fact that he was very happy they mingled. And to top it all off, he hated being wrong. Although, this was the first time that he was glad he was wrong. He could not imagine his life if Kagome and him had not worked it out. She became his everything. Actually, she always was but - she was never his. Now she was his - in every sense of the word. It made his chest swell with pride and forced his heart race. Except. Now that she was his… there was the chance that he could lose her. That reality did not exist five hundred years ago.

"Why don't you call her?"

"If she wanna come over, she'll come over."

"Well, you guys did just have sex. Maybe she's feeling a little weird."

"She ain't."

He went over to her house, they talked about the big mistake they made by not using any protection and then they slept. Things were just fine. Although he did feel bad he had to leave before she woke up. He hardly had another option available to him; if her mother found him there again, there would be trouble for the both of them. He wanted to get on her good side. Respecting her house rules was part of that. It would obviously be easier if they could share a space but - they just had sex. Moving in talk was not the kind of talk they should be having. As a matter of fact it only made him think that he was indeed pushing her too far too fast.

No, it was good that he had his own place and she had hers. Although, she was always welcome at his place. He wanted it to be a second home.

One she had not visited in a while. Maybe the guys were not wrong. Maybe he could contact her.

But a phone call was a bad idea. He did not want to be pushy - especially if she was not comfortable around him during that time of the month. He did hope she would soon understand that he did not care; as a matter of fact, he loved it.

Kouga reached for his phone in the depths of his pocket and pulled it out. He quickly found her in his contact list and let a heavy sigh pass his lips as he began typing. Nothing too long. Nothing too short. No, no. That was bad. Wait. No, not that either. For fuck's sake. After a long internal battle, Kouga settled on the most boring, typical text one could send; hi. So much for nothing too short… He shook his head at his own stupidity and then, shoved his phone back in his pocket. It was not like he expected her to answer right away. She had a life and things to do. She probably did not wait around for him to text her. That was fine.

He ran his fingers through his messy bangs before leaning his head backwards.

He was doing that though. He was sitting around, waiting to hear from her. He was acting like an infatuated cub. He needed to give her some space if he did not want to push her away.

Ding!

He lifted his rear off the couch and fished back his phone. When he saw her name, he could not help the grin that formed on his face. She replied. Alright, so maybe she was waiting around for him to text her. That thought did do wonders for his ego. His grin grew in size and he slide his thumb across the screen to open her text. Hi. He chuckled. Alright, he deserved the short answer. He quickly typed his own reply. How are you stranger? This time, he kept the phone in his hand since he knew she would reply quickly.

Yeah, sorry. I've been helping my mom around the house.

His eyes flickered across her reply and he wondered if that was really it.

Don't worry about it. Wanna grab some food?

Sure. When?

One hour. I'll pick you up.

Deal.

His fangs poked through his bottom lip and he shoved his phone away. Time to get ready.

-U-

The wind was gently blowing through the city while Kagome patiently waited at the bottom of the stairs. She smoothened the wrinkles off of her yellow dress and then slammed her hands down her thighs. She clacked the heels of her shoes against the marble of the stairs and stared ahead into the distance. He was not late; she was early. Somehow she was nervous. Her period was for the most part over and barely noticeable… unfortunately… Kouga's nose would pick up the remnants of it regardless. She understood that he was quite comfortable with the situation but she was not. It was not like she avoided him or anything.

Her mother had kept her busy. Kagome, ridden by the guilt of what happened, constantly offered her services. She had slacked off on her home chores and this little time off - time when she was not moping - helped her catch up. Her family was also important and she could not be running off whenever - which she had done a lot of lately. This way, her guilt was somewhat lessened. Alright, no it was still there. She felt like an awful daughter. Her mother simply asked her where she was going and Kagome had stuttered. Her mother asked out of interest, not because she was spying on her and yet Kagome failed to keep her composure.

This was a disaster.

Suddenly, the sound of rubber wheels melting against the hot road pulled her out of her thoughts. She snapped her head up and noticed Kouga pulling in front of the shrine. As soon as their eyes met, there was a big grin on his face, his pearly white teeth showing. She was forced to share his smile and she hopped to her feet, rushing in direction of the car. For a moment, she forgot all about the nervousness that had nestled inside of her. The simple sight of him was enough to force an explosion of feelings inside of her heart. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she came to a quick halt when she reached the car. He pushed the door open for her and she slid into the car, carefully settling in by his side.

As soon as she was in the vicinity, Kouga wasted no time. He latched on to her and his lips covered hers, showing her the passion burning inside of his chest. It did not help his self-control that there was still remnants of her divine scent lingering around. It was soft, barely there, but as soon as he sniffed the air once he detected it. That bit of information almost proved that he was right; she was waiting for the end of her cycle. He would not mention it. Instead, he focused himself on her; his lips brushed up against hers, his tongue teased the sensitive membrane and he let the taste of her mouth flood his, relishing every second of it.

It took a moment, but he finally pulled away. His forehead rested against hers while she looked up at him with moist, bruised lips and gleamy blue orbs. He smirked before kissing the tip of her nose. "Hi."

She cleared her throat. "Hi." It was not their usual hi but she could get used to it. At least there was no awkwardness between them - that was a relief.

Every part of him was begging him to stay close, to caress her skin, to feel the smoothness of her beneath his fingertips but he convinced himself to pull away. One time. She agreed to one time. Of course, he truly hope there would be more times but, on her own terms. He took one last longing look at her before detaching his forehead from hers and sitting back in his own seat.

"So, where ya wanna go?"

She popped her lips, re-focusing her attention on the task at hand. Unfortunately for her, it was not easy to forget the feel of his hand on her skin. The flesh burned hot where he touched her and she loved it. Although, thinking about that only reminded her of everything else she wanted to talk about. Her time away allowed her mother's words to sink into her brain. It was not good. She tried to ignore them but it never quite worked. There were a lot of unanswered questions and most of the time, that was alright with her. There was no point in having all of the answers now - that was how heartbreaks came about.

But…

But there was always that but.

"Anywhere's fine."

There was something different in her tone - something was bothering her. He wanted to ask, he wanted to be noisy but instead, he simply gripped the wheel a bit tighter, the material squeaking under his ministrations.

"And off we go."

The first minutes of the drive were silent. Until Kagome cracked under the pressure. She could no longer tolerate silence; it was something that happened while hanging out with her mother for the past few days. Every time she was silent, she felt like she was admitting to a crime.

"I think my mom knows."

He kept staring ahead at the road. "Knows what?"

"What we did."

His foot hovered over the break for a second but he kept his poker face on. This was the time to show her he was collected and calm. So what if her mother knew? If she knew, she still let Kagome out of the house. That would mean that she was fine with what took place. But did she really know? He popped his lips. "How can you be sure?"

"I don't know. It's just a feeling I get."

He watched her from the corner of his eyes. She was fidgeting, playing with her fingers while her heart was racing. She was nervous. He could not help but furrow his eyebrows; was it nervousness, guilt or regret? The last time they spoke, she was at ease with what took place. Could it be that reality had dawned upon her and now not everything was so black and white? He did not want to ask. He did not want those words to leave his lips… because what if she confirmed his fears? It could never be taken back. Then again, they could not keep living like this. They were also uncertain, walking around on eggshells…

"Do you regret it?"

Blue orbs widened and startled, she turned to look at him. Her luscious lips were parted, red spreading to her cheeks while anger slowly steeped in. "What?" She searched his face for a sign of pain or sadness but his eyes would not give anything away. She was not trying to hurt him by having this conversation. She had been stressed out and she was attempting to share that with him. Maybe it was a bad idea.

She sighed. "Kouga, I don't regret what happened." She ran her fingers through her hair, pushing her bangs backwards. "I just- I don't know how to act with my mother anymore. I don't like lying. But I don't think this is a conversation she would like to have with me."

"Sorry." There was more he wanted to say but he did not know how to voice it. He had his life set up and most of all, he did not owe anything to a parent. Yes, he had to do right by his pack and he had to look after his own but his relationship with Kagome did not affect any of that. He did not think about what she had to deal with and what her life was like. If he could, his life would be intertwined with hers forever. He could do it right now. After all, he had been waiting a whole life time for her. But it was not the same in her case.

"I - I didn't think."

Suddenly, he felt warm skin on his hand and then, her tiny fingers wrapped around his and she squeezed. "Kouga, there was nothing to think about. There is nothing wrong with what we did." Why could things not be simple for a little bit? Could they not have a moment of peace? "I just- I guess I'm not very good at combining all aspects of my life." What she wanted and she needed seemed to conflict. She wanted the home life, she wanted the boyfriend, she wanted the rules and the truth but she also wanted freedom. "I guess I just need to figure out where I'm heading."

She released his hand and leaned back into the seat, tension still in her shoulders. "But it has nothing to do with you." She had to figure out if she was an adult or not. What job she was going to get and where she was headed in life. It was affecting every aspect of her life. There was also her mother's speech. She knew she was not missing out on any life experiences and she was getting everything she wanted out of life. But - but she was stuck in the same position, not moving, not heading anywhere new. She did need to get her life really started. Then maybe she would not be as scared of everything happening. Maybe everything would be simpler and it would all make sense.

"I need a job. Maybe school. My place to live in."

"You have a place."

He resisted the urge to cringe. He did not mean to slip that out so easily. He made it sound like they were steps ahead of what they actually were. She just mentioned being stressed and he was basically throwing out living together out there. Man, his lack of dating experience was showing.

"I- I d- That's not what I meant. I meant, it's there if you ever need it. I'm not - I'm not saying to move in. What I meant -"

And then, there was giggle.

"I kinda like flustered Kouga."

He chuckled and released his tight grip on the wheel. "I'm gonna start thinking you enjoy torturing me." Her smile grew and he finally felt more at ease; the tension was broken. "Listen, whatever it is, whatever is happening. I know you'll figure it out. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself." He touched his chin to his shoulder and offered her his best smirk. "Consider this your chance at being a wild teenager."

"I think I was wild enough."

A laugh was shared and her heart became lighter.

"Kouga?"

"Yea?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being you."

That was what she wanted. Needed.

-U-

"That bad huh?"

She tilted her head to the side. "Well, you know. Last time I saw them was… embarrassing to say the least."

"They're idiots. They don't think before doing stupid shit."

"I suppose there isn't any way to sneak in?"

"I wish."

She let her head fall on his shoulder and sighed. She did want to go inside and spend some alone time with him. Even though that stressed her slightly. She turned to mush when he touched her - and there was still blood. Something he seemed to enjoy greatly. In some way, she was asking for trouble. In another light though, the guys were present. That should be enough to stop her. She did not need them listening to their nightly activities again. That was a private matter and it would always be so. Hopefully they would understand that one day. Although if she knew anything about pack dynamics… she was pretty much screwed.

"You don't have to come in."

"I want to…"

She really did. Even if they did not do anything. She simply wanted to feel his warmth and enjoy having him by her side. She was at ease when he was around and it was a feeling she desperately needed.

"We could stay in the car."

She arched an eyebrow. "Stay in the car?"

Kouga shrugged. "Why not? It's hm… alright," he chuckled. "It's not very spacious but they are less spying ears in here." Although, he was almost certain they could hear them talk from here. They were probably all by the doors trying to pick on any word they could. Bunch of girls.

"And what are we supposed to do in this car?" she asked, a bit of taunting in her voice. Being a stuck in a car did not leave them with many options.

Immediately, Kouga's cheeks tainted red. "I- I didn't mean that."

She let a giggle escape her. "I know, I was - being funny." She did not want this topic to be heavy, she wanted them to be pass it. They had the conversation, they said they would be more careful. She could not have them walking on eggshells all the time. They even had a serious conversation about the way things were and things to come. The mood was heavy. She needed some calm.

"I guess I'm a little too jumpy for funny huh?" he said as he ran his fingers through his bangs.

She let a smile stretch her lips and then, she bent down to press her mouth to his. At first, she wanted it to be a quick peck but as she felt his moist lips on hers, she melted against him. Her mouth opened and she felt his tongue slip into her mouth. Her left hand reached for his shoulder and she let her delicate fingers brush the fabric of his shirt. She gripped at it and leaned into his body. His hand found its way into her hair, tangling his fingers with her locks as he brought her face closer to his.

Self-control was the key.

At least, it was the words he kept repeating to himself as he enjoyed the sweet flavor of her mouth. He still remembered what her naked flesh tasted, or how it felt against his own. Or the way her eyelids fluttered when she was in the throes of passion and the little sweet moans she could make with those luscious lips. And all those were bad thoughts. Now he was screwed. He could feel the blood rushing downwards and it was too late to stop it. He felt himself grow in his jeans and they became tighter around him. Hopefully his lips would distract her from his erection.

But he was not that lucky…

Kagome's position shifted and she was nearly sitting in his laps - and he wanted her there. One of his hands ghosted over her hip, dying to clutch at the warm flesh. He wanted her warm core sitting over him so that he could grind into her. Bad wolf, bad, bad wolf. He tried to take a deep breathe but the way her fingers were palming against his flesh made it hard. Plus, he was not about to be the one to end the kiss she initiated. No, he would suffer through it and oh - god. Oh fuck he was screwed.

Her skin was on fire, his touch melting her and her heart drumming as she knew she needed more. It was no longer thoughts and fantasies; she knew what those hands could do, she knew what his body felt like and - oh she knew the pleasure he could bring to her. She did not realize how hard it made it for her to have self control. They were alone - or as alone as they could be parked in the backward at night. They were no ears listening, nobody to interrupt them. One time did leave her wanting.

And she was no longer uncomfortable. The blood was non-existent and- and she wanted those hands on her.

Maybe she was the one out of control. She inhaled before tearing her lips away from him. Except as she did so, she did one mistake; she bore her neck to him. And that was his downfall.

Before he could think his lips latched on to her neck. He lapped the side of it, relishing the tremble that followed. There was also the spike in her scent, her arousal raising and teasing him with promises of wetness. He knew how tight she was, he knew how much he loved those legs around him. And this was not the shower, this was not the first time. Although he would always be kind and patient and sweet with her, he did not have to hold back as much. He could fully plunge inside of her.

And then, as he felt her quickened heartbeat under his tongue and while his hands were sneaking under her shirt, he was reminded of a cruel reality. He groaned against her heated flesh and then, pulled himself away from her. It took her a few moments but she caught up. She lowered her head and stared into his eyes. Confusion shone in her blue orbs while they were hazed by her pleasure. She needed this, she wanted this. Seeing the desire shine in her eyes made it even worse for her.

"I hate myself," he whispered as he closed his eyes. He could not bear to look at her.

"What happened?" she inquired between rush breaths.

"I - I the condoms are inside."

He had not forgotten their precious conversation. They were going to be careful and he was going to make sure a mistake did not happen again. However, that also meant being logical and safe even when his entire body was begging for her, as it was at the moment. He wanted to say fuck the condom and ravage her against the wheel. And he knew he could. He could kiss her consciousness away, melt her away with whispered promises. But he would not. He cared for her, he cared about their future together and he would not let a reckless rut get in the way of it.

As the word condom made its way into Kagome's mouth, her lips shifted to form an 'o'. "Right." She smacked her lips together while frustration rose. It was the right thing to do but it did nothing to ease the tension between her legs. Although she would have to thank Kouga. She might have let things get too far of hands before she realized they lacked protection. He was kind, he was responsible.

And yet she could not reward him for that.

She let her shoulders slug down before pressing her forehead to his. "I guess inside it is."

There was no way to sneak condoms back into the car. And she was not quite ready to perform any sexual activities with the many listening ears inside the house. It meant their evening would truly be composed of hanging out and calmness. But that was okay too.

He kissed the tip of her nose. "Noisy pack it is," he said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

His hands squeezed her hips as he moved her off of him. As he did so, it revealed one importance piece of evidence.

"We might have to wait a moment though."

She chuckled. "That's okay." She leaned into his chest and snuggled up to him. They could wait.

Kouga let the stress leave his body and instead, he enjoyed the warmth coming from the girl by his side.

How was he ever going to resist her?

-U-


	23. Sneaking Around

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look a chapter. Hey look I'm still here.  
> Seriously though, thank you all for the support and the kind words. It is much appreciated. I adore every single one of you.

"Kouga."

"Not yet."

"Kouga."

"A little bit more."

"Kooooouga!"

It was difficult for him to hold back a laughter as he tried to keep his hands over her eyes. She had been whining since he put her in the car. Honestly, she almost broke him. She was very talented at begging and he had a soft spot for her. Regardless of her incessant attempts at finding out about the surprise, he held up his end and did not ruin it. Plus, it was not much. It was a little thing. A foolish attempt at giving them some sort of privacy. They had been quick to realize that it was not something they would get in the house. He did not mind; he was used to it. He heard the others, he knew their life too personally. It was just how it had always worked. Unfortunately, Kagome did not share his point of view on the matter. And he respected that. To top it all of, they could not do anything at her house either… well with her mother and all.

It did make intimacy slightly complicated.

Hence the surprise.

"Are we there yet?"

"You're like a kid."

"Yes."

He had put a blindfold on her the moment they got in the car. At first, it had been funny but now? She was getting impatient. It had been quite a drive and the suspense was killing her. He had picked her up, promised a surprise and then took her into the unknowns. How long was he going to keep on torturing her?

"Here."

At the sound of that word, relief washed through her. He finally pulled his hands away from her eyes, allowing her to witness the scene in front of her…which was…

A tent?

She tilted her head to the side, staring at the blue and yellow tent that stood in the middle of the clearing. She waited, thinking he would eventually explain what she was staring at but he never did. His lack of actions forced her to turn her head and look at him. "We're camping?"

Oh. Oh. Not exactly the reaction he had been going for but - it was salvageable. "Not really. I didn't wanna get you in trouble with your mom. So we'll be coming back tonight but - I thought it would give us some private time." Fuck. Fuck.

"Took me to the middle of nowhere to have sex with me?" She was teasing him. It was hard to hide the smirk that was threatening to form on her lips but she managed to pull it off.

"No - I just- the guys are always there and - your mom and I just thought, ya know. You and me. Nobody. I didn't - It wasn't -"

His cheeks were flustered, he was avoiding all eye contact and most of all, he was stuttering like an idiot. It was too much for her. Before she could even hold it back, she bursted out laughing, bending over as the loud sounds came out of her.

"You're making fun of me."

His reply only intensified her laughter. She dropped to the ground, feeling the tears pooled at the corners of her eyes. "I just- your face."

He shook his head softly before plopping down on the ground beside her. "Funny."

Kouga remained quiet a while longer while Kagome kept on laughing, hopeless in stopping the joy pouring out of her. After he surprised her, it was only fair that she got to mock him a little. Although, her intention was not to bruise his apparently sensitive man ego.

"This is great, thank you," she said, hoping no laughter or sarcasm was showing in her voice. She truly did appreciate the gesture. They never got time together anymore. She understood the whole pack dynamic and she did truly enjoy it but - this was nice. Quietness, alone time. It helped. Plus, there was no way she was ever going to have sex in that house again. The snickers the next morning were not something she was ready to deal with yet. Although, it was not as if he would ever not live with the pack. He was their leader.

But that was a future conversation, and that was something future Kagome could deal with.

This Kagome was going to enjoy the present time.

"Yea, yea."

She reached out for him, gently cupping his cheek with her hand. She let her thumb follow his cheekbone, gently caressing the skin beneath her finger. "I really do like it."

"I know they're always in the way - it's just -"

"It's the pack way." She smiled. "Don't worry, I know. And I don't mind." She never wanted him to feel bad for what he was. They were a bit different but it did not mean they could not compromise or find ways to make everything work. Also, they truly needed to work on their communication skills. It got them in a few avoidable situations in the past. But she was as guilty of this as he was. Then again, he should be much better than her at the whole relationship thing; he had years - centuries of practice!

Her last relationship was Inuyasha. It was not much.

"So, are we supposed to roast marshmallows and then go run naked in the forest?"

He arched an eyebrow, a smirk forming on his face. "Run naked in the forest?" His voice dropped to a huskier tone and she felt a shiver travel through her.

"Isn't that what old wolves do?"

"That's it, you're going down."

Before Kagome even had a chance to move out of the way, Kouga had leaped had her. She fell flat on her back with her legs sprawled as he nestled himself between them. He grabbed her wrists, pinning her arms above her head; and she never even put up a fight. Instead, she watched him, a fire in her eyes.

"I'll show you what old wolves do."

It was not a threat; it was a promise.

He wanted to lavish her body, he wanted to leave trails of kisses along every inch of her. There was a bubbly desire inside of him, one that wanted her forever. He did not want to lose her. He needed every inch of her, he wanted to feel his own power inside of her. He wanted to howl to the moon, proclaiming her as his. He wanted her to be his forever. His alone.

And that was one promise he intended on seeing through.

-U-

"God. I mean have you guys ever heard of a shower."

"Gee."

"Smell like sex much?"

If Kouga could rip all of their heads, he would. He did not even need to look at Kagome to feel the embarrassment coming from her. He knew that teasing was a part of pack but - he needed them to understand that she was not a wolf. She was proper lady. Yes, she could kid around but this whole no privacy thing? She was not quite used to it. He did not want them to scare her away.

She buried her face in his back, hoping it would hide from them her shame. It would not. They could smell it on her. But she would pretend - for her own sake. It was not like they had planned to have sex. It just happened. The quietness, the forest. It almost felt like home for the both of them. And then, well it was not quite like they could have gone to her house to shower. Her mother might not be able to smell them like the pack could but she was fairly certain they would look guilty as sin. Kouga had hoped the forest would mask the scent but by the jokes Kagome was hearing, it had not worked. No privacy.

"Enough," he growled.

"We're just teasing."

"Yeah calm down, alpha."

Another growl echoed through his chest, this one vibrating through Kagome.

For the first time since the jokes began, the kitchen was completely quiet. This time the growl had been taken seriously; a warning from the alpha. Ginta put the coffee mug down and smacked his lips. He had given them a little talk but nobody thought it bothered that much. It was what they did - what they always did. Kouga had partaken in his share of teasing in the past and he had never minded it before.

"Kagome, would you like something to eat?"

Hakkaku was the first to break the ice. Her uneasiness was perhaps the strongest emotion in the room. She was conflicted between wanting to calm down Kouga and her own shame. If they could get her emotions under control, they would get Kouga to calm down at the same time.

She finally tore her face from his shirt, and poked her visage through his left side. "I could eat." Her voice was a little shaky but she cleared her throat, hoping to mask away the emotions.

Even though Kagome was peeling herself away from Kouga, it did not tone down his rage. Ginta rose an eyebrow as he observed his leader's unusual behavior. No, it was not out of character for him to be protective of Kagome, but - this was too much. He was no longer the hot headed cub he used to be. He had better control over himself - and he usually put his best foot forward in front of Kagome. Something was up. He simply could not figure out what it was. He tried to subtly sniff the air but that brought him no answer. His nose scrunched up as though there was an obvious answer he was missing.

Finally, Kagome came into view, tearing her whole body away from Kouga's. And that was when Ginta saw. It was actually then that everybody saw. There were no longer glimmers of teasing, and laughters ready to echo. Everyone's faces suddenly became serious. Kagome did not notice as she began eyeing the food on the table. They had not eaten after the little picnic… And they had done a lot after the picnic. Thoughts and memories flooded her mind and she felt her cheeks redden. Her busy mind made her oblivious to all the looks thrown her way.

To her, it would look like nothing.

To her it would be a bruise, a hickey. One that would leave.

To them, it was different. It meant more. Especially considering who Kouga was.

"Hey - you guys."

And then there was silence. Because Kouga was crushing Hakkaku's hand.

He did let out a slip of pain.

"Are you okay?" inquired Kagome with a serious look on her face.

Hakkaku's face was twisted in pain, his mouth distorted and his eyes nearly shut. He had been laughing a second ago. What happened?

"I-hm," he cleared his throat. "I'm fine. I just, I'm just so glad you guys are here."

So she did not know. He was not sure. She had acted all casual, she had shown it to them like it was nothing. Either she was okay with it or she did not know. Kouga's current crushing of his hand let him know that she was not aware of the mark she had on her neck. It was not a mating mark, it was not a permanent mark, but it was there nonetheless. He was silently asking her if he could mark her.

And she did not know.

Kouga finally released his hand and he felt relief wash through him as sensation came back to his fingers. He did not deserve that.

Now everyone wanted to ask but nobody could.

But one dared.

"Hey Kagome?" asked Ginta innocently.

"Yea?" she asked as she finally sat down.

"Do you mind if I borrow Kouga for a second? Pack matter."

"No, sure go ahead." The guys did not seem as though they were going to tease anymore. Plus, even if they did. She was a big girl and she could handle herself.

Ginta offered her a smile as an answer and then, tugged on Kouga's sleeve to bring him away from Kagome's ears.

Kouga knew where he was being taken and he knew what would be asked of him and yet - he had to go along with it. He could not fight it or Kagome might be suspicious and that was the last thing he wanted. He already messed up and he did not intend on making it worse. He tried to remain as calm as he could until Ginta and him were finally alone in the living room.

"We are not having this discussion," were the first words out of his mouth. His eyes were narrowed, and he was clearly trying to use his alpha status to try and intimidate his friend. He was not in a good mood. He had hoped they would not tease them, he had hoped they would have been able to disappear in another room before anyone stopped them. Apparently, all of those had been stupid foolish wishes.

"She doesn't know."

"And she doesn't need to know," he barked angrily. "It ain't like I marked her or did anything against her wishes."

"No but -"

"There's not but, I didn't do nothing and there ain't nothing for her to know."

"It might not mean anything to her, but it means a lot to you."

His beast. His inner wolf. He wanted her, he had been claiming her for centuries. His claim never faded and his need for never went away. The first time he saw her again after all these years… it was like she never left him. For her, the feelings began way later on and she was not where he was. It was why he controlled every step, every move he did. He was so afraid to scare her away. If she knew he marked her - temporarily - as his intended, it might scare her away. Did they not have enough scares for a while? They had just gotten over the whole protected sex talk. They truly did not need to be having the marriage talk just now.

"I don't need to tell her."

"But you should." He sighed. "When has it ever worked out for you when you kept shit for yourself?"

No argument there.

"Kagome is understanding. She is actually the most understanding woman I've ever met. How much could you scare her?"

"A lot."

Ginta scoffed. "Sis loves you. She knows you ain't human. She'll understand this comes with being a wolf. She might be flattered."

Could she be? She was his, she was his fully. He was the first to touch her, the first to taste her. He could feel what she felt for him. And yet, most of the time, he felt like he was going to lose her, like she was going to slip right through his fingers. She was too good for him. And what if she saw that? His plan was not to lock her with him forever. He had not even meant to bite her. He had been tasting her skin, feeling her and it had happened by itself. At first, his fangs had grazed her skin - and boy did she love that. She had begged for more and he had lost himself in her moans. He remembered thinking she was the one. And how he could not believe she was real.

"I have to tell her."

Ginta smacked his hand on Kouga's shoulder. "You have to tell her."

But one lie. Could it hurt?"

-U-

"You're awfully quiet."

They had eaten with the guys, chatted a little but Kouga had not been himself. He had been a different person the moment he had returned with Ginta. She did not want to press it, especially not in front of people but now that they were by themselves…

"Sorry."

He threw a pillow unto the bed, ready to get himself comfortable. The boys were being quiet loud in the living room and they had decided to come upstairs to enjoy a movie alone. Honestly, he was quite surprised that nobody had spoiled anything so far. They had stared at her neck longer than usual but she did not seem to pick up on it. Probably because she did not know there was something on her neck. And he did say he was going to tell her. He simply had not mustered the courage just yet.

Sorry? That was all he had. Kouga was a pack leader. He thrived in a pack and earlier? He did not.

Maybe if she pressed him a little more. "So, everyone was staring at my neck."

He stopped mi movement and for a second it felt like someone knocked the air out of his chest. Wait, no. She could not have noticed. She had not said anything!

"What do you mean?" His voice cracked.

"At first I didn't know why. But then, when I went to the bathroom…" She smacked her face with her hands. "I have the biggest hickey." She let her hands drag down her face, pulling the skin downwards. "So thanks a lot mister," she teased.

Karma was a bitch. If he did not tell her now, she might come back to this moment and hold it against him. Except - except he thought he had more time. He thought he might be able to get her all calm and snuggled up and slowly talk it over. But life could not make it easy for him. Life never did.

A long sigh escaped his lips and he let his arms drop to his sides. "It's not a hickey."

She frowned. "Is it a scratch? A bruise?" She clamped her hand over her neck. "I could have sworn it looked like a hickey." Then again, she had looked fairly quickly. She had been embarrassed she had given the guys something else to tease her over. Then again, strangely nobody had mentioned it. They had simply stared.

"It's a mark." Deep breath. "An intended mark."

"A what now?"

She did not sound mad, she did not sound terrify. She did however sound very confused. He exhaled through his nostrils and dipped his head forward, his long ponytail swiping across his left shoulder. "I - I marked you."

She knew the work mark. I marked you. In any other context with any other person it would be like, I scratch you, it's going to leave a mark. Sorry. In this case? No. Because she knew about youkais and she knew about fangs. And she had heard thing- and she knew things but - marked?

"M-arked?"

"Not like that. Not like, I - I hm." Great, gone was eloquence. Once he saw the panic appear in her eyes, it was like he lost it. He needed to bring back the smile, bring back the joy that had been there a moment ago. Was it too late? He was certain he wanted to keep a distance between them, but he changed his mind. He launched himself in her direction and he did not stop until he stood in front of her. He grabbed her shoulders as softly as he could, hoping to fool her into thinking he was calm.

"It's nothing, it's no big deal. It'll go away."

As steady as his hands were, his eyes shone in fear. He thought she was going to leave, he thought she was going to leave him. As startled and confused as she was, she refused to let him think she would leave. "What kind of mark?"

If he was going to pretend he was calm, then so was she.

"Can we sit?"

She nodded.

This was ridiculous. Ginta was right; this was Kagome, he could talk to her. He did not mark her - mark her. He simply got caught up in the heat of the moment and one little fang nibble later, there was a little mark. He was looking at the most understanding woman in the world. If he talked it out with her, she would understand. There was no reason to be panicking as he was - or to have sweat drip down his back. It was Kagome.

He dragged her to the bed and she plopped down. She thought he was going to do the same but she was quite wrong. Instead, he dropped down to the floor - on his knees - and he laid his head on her thighs. "I was caught up," he admitted.

"Caught up?"

"In you, your smile, your skin."

A blush immediately decorated her cheeks. "Oh." What in the world was she supposed to reply to that? She did however feel a familiar tingle in her groin. How did he always know the right words to make her heart race, to make her skin tingle and to warm her insides? How did he come so easily to him while she struggled every step of the way?

"It's gonna fade. It's just… it just means I want to."

Did she dare ask the words he did not want to speak? Kouga should not be vague and yet he was. Did it mean he feared her reaction or that he did not wish to talk about it? Then again, he did put that mark on her. He had to want it- whatever it was. "It means you want to what?"

He chuckled against her jeans and it vibrated through her core. "I want to mark you." He gulped. Alright, that came out a lot more crude than he intended. Damage control. "Not now. Just -some day."

She raised her hands and gently began to run her fingers through his bangs. She massaged his scalp, hoping it could take some of the stress away. She was done with childish crushes. She had thought she was done with romance. Actually, she had even been done with happiness. He brought it all back to her. Little by little, he brought her back. She found pieces of herself, pieces of him. For the first time in a long time, she was content with her life. Not everything was perfect of course, but that was okay. It was actually why it was fine. She did not need perfection; she needed the little things that made life special and perfect.

She messed up sometimes. He messed sometimes.

She also needed to remind herself that his style of life was not hers. They marked. They chose for life. They were not as volatile as humans were and then again, that was good. She tried to take a deep breath, hoping to slow down the hammering that was her heartbeat. She knew Kouga was serious about her - he had proved it more than once. He was cautious, he was careful. Because of that, it should not be a surprise that he wanted to mark her - some day. However, she did not expect to hear those words out loud.

But it was Kouga.

He always spoke his mind.

"I - I don't know what to say," she spoke softly. It was the only truth she knew.

He sighed, letting his chest collapsed as his eyes closed. Once again, he put her in a horrible situation. He knew she wanted to be with him - or she would not be. But he was too forward. He always had been. He thought the years had calmed him but apparently it was nothing more than an illusion. Once he had gotten her, he forgot all caution. How could he not? He was addicted to her.

"I don't need ya to say nothing." He tilted his head to the side, his chin digging into her thighs. "It's me, Kagome. It's my nature. I'm not trying to pressure ya into something. Ya ain't gotta want it. Not now, not ever." There was a part of him that would always want to make her his, but he would never force her into a bond she would not want.

She let her hands drop to her sides and then clutches the blankets. Feelings were bubbling inside and she knew she was about to turn into a blabbering idiot. She was never graced with talent when it came to expressing herself. "It's who you are." No, that was not at all what she was attempting to say. A big sigh rolled off her lips and she felt like smacking her forehead. "I - I don't know. Where I am. What I want. I mean -" She winced. Maybe she should simply cease all attempts at talking? Clearly it was not her strong suit. She was making it worse. After she spoke, she could feel him tense against her. "I want you, I know that." She decided to bring a head back to his hair; petting him might calm him.

"I'm human. I can't mark. I don't know what it feels like to what that kind of bond."

Did that make sense? Nothing made sense. She did not even know what the bond was. And now, at this point, she was too afraid to ask. What if she reacted wrong?

Although Kouga could not shake off the stress rolling off his body, he also knew that Kagome was nervous. The best thing he could do for her was to shut her up. He rose to his feet and before she could even pronounce another word, he smacked his lips against her, kissing the words out of her mouth. At first she offered a small resistance but, then, she melted against him. Relief washed through him and he let his body tangle up with hers as he sat by her side.

"We'll just let things happen," he whispered against her lips. "I only wanted to be honest with you."

Yes, keeping things from each other had gotten them in trouble before. "I know, thank you. I'm sorry I -"

He kissed her again. "If you say sorry again, you'll end up naked."

"Please don't."

They both turned their heads in direction of the door. Kagome's face was covered with a soft blush, but Kouga's eyes were narrowed. Could they not have a moment of privacy?

"If you're still standing in front of that fucking door in five seconds, you ain't gonna like what happens next."

Kagome did the only thing she could do; she laughed.

"I don't think I want to be naked in here."

Kouga joined her in her laughter, his own much deeper than hers.

They were never going to have sex again.

-U-

"The bond?"

"As in, you guys are going to bond?"

"You mean - already."

"Tsh, don't say that. What if they are ready?"

"How can they be ready?"

"Yea, she's asking us about it. Not him."

Kagome smacked both her hands in front of her face. Why did she ever think this would be a good idea? Sure, let's ask the girls about the bond. It will be much less awkward than asking Kouga. Her and her stupid ideas. Now she was stuck sitting in a circle with them while they argued about the non existent bond between Kouga and her.

"Guys," she pleaded, desperate to get their attention and stop her torture.

"Kagome," Miya said with a roll of the eyes.

"Listen, if you gotta ask us about this stuff, you're not ready."

"I didn't say I was."

"Then why are you asking?"

"To understand!"

Yumi sighed before slapping her hands down on her thighs. "It's not something that is easy to explain Kagome. Because you'll never feel it the way we do."

"Wolves mate for life."

She had heard that before.

"We just know. It's a feeling inside. You don't want to lose your one person. You want to keep them, you want to share every part of yourself with that person."

"Humans can want that," she defended.

Yumi shook her head. "It's not the same. In a relationship between two humans… You'll only share what you want to share. Nothing more."

Kasumi pitched in. "We have no choice. Once we've bonded, we become part of the other. So when we want those things, we want them. Without limits."

No lies, no secrets, no barriers. Although it was obviously a big commitment, none of those were bad things. Why would Kouga think those could be things she would be scared of? It was not bad.

"Okay, so you become one with the other person, you share and you feel everything. That's not so bad," she defended.

Yumi twisted her mouth in disapproval. She loved Kagome to death, they all did. She was cute and she was exactly what their leader needed. They were not bothered by her humanity and even less by her miko powers. Not that all youkais were big fan of mikos but Kagome was different and kind. They would be thrilled if Kouga and Kagome ended up mated but - it had to be for the right reasons and with full understanding of the situation. Unfortunately, none of them believed they were the right person to be giving her answers. However, it was quite hard to avoid all of her questions.

"Kagome, it's forever. You can't leave, you can't end a relationship."

"Yea, it ain't like there is a divorce option."

"Once you do it, it's forever. You can't change your mind."

"Can you say right now that Kouga will be your person, forever? Can you say that your feelings will never change?"

Nobody could say that their feelings would never change. It was insane. No, she did not want them to change. She was happy with the way things were. She did not want someone else in her life, she did not want another love. But she had loved someone else before. Kouga seemed to have had only eyes for her - since the beginning. Was it her human nature? Would it come back to haunt her? She would never want to break his heart.

Kouga had been right, he was too early for this kind of conversation. The mark he had left on her neck would fade and once the time was right, they would bring it up again.

She was not scared of having something serious with him. This was not a game and she was in it for the long run. But, she did fear that it would always mean more to him than her. He could feel so much more, he could want so much more. More than she could even imagine wanting. According to the female wolves around her. H would love her, the same way he always had. He had his life figure out, but she had not. She had nothing. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe she needed to find bigger goals for herself. Every time she tried to do that, something distracted her away from that goal. She needed to figure out her life, for herself.

"Are you okay?"

Her words snapped Kagome out of her train of thoughts and she shot her head up. She put a smile on her lips and nodded slowly. "Just thinking."

"It's not like we think you shouldn't do it."

"No, I know."

Except from one person, Kagome had always felt the warmth and the welcome of every member of the pack. That was not a problem.

As she was about to answer Yumi, the sounds of many cars approaching the house got her attention. She frowned before jumping to her feet. Kagome located the nearest window and peered outside. Six cars were parking close to the house and they looked packed.

"Is there a party happening?" she asked with confusion.

Usually she was pretty aware of the events going on in the house. First of all, nobody could keep a secret, and second of all - well she was always over.

"It's another pack."

"A what?"

"Yea, they were passing through, looking for a place to stay for a few days."

"Why are they here?"

Yasumi shrugged her shoulders. "Some packs travel from time to time. It's always better if they stay with another pack."

"Yea, because if they start trouble in the area, it falls on us. It's easier to keep an eye on them if they are here."

"Kouga didn't tell me about this." Then again, it was not as though she told him she was coming over to talk to the girls. About their bond. She really had nothing to say in her own defence.

"We found out this morning I think."

Kagome meant to pull herself away from the window but she could not. Instead, she watched as everyone came out of the cars. They looked like any ordinary humans. Although she suspected that once they were inside and away from prying eyes, that might change a bit. After a while, Kouga finally came out of his car. She watched as his long dark ponytail swayed across his shoulder and she smiled. She was about to pull away from the window and greet him downstairs when the passenger door of his car flew open.

A girl came out, long brown hair cascading down her shoulders. Kagome could not see her face clearly but she looked pretty from far - standing there in a tiny pink dress. She felt a ping of a new emotion but she ignored it. That was until the girl closed the door and launched herself at Kouga's arm.

She was not going to like her.

-U-


	24. Jealous Declarations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I LOVE YOU ALL.

Smile.

Smiling was the best way to go about this and it was the _normal_ person thing to do.

Right?

And it was what she did, even when they all walked in chattering and smiling. Even when that girl _absolutely refused_ to let go of Kouga's arm. Kagome had made her way downstairs after she had watched everyone heading for the door. She was not doing it because she was jealous and because she wanted to keep an eye on thing. She was simply doing it because - it was the polite thing to do. People were coming in and she was part of the pack…and she was to be part of the greeting team.

Right?

"You know we can smell ya right?"

"What?"

Yumi chuckled. "Your jealousy is showing."

"I'm not jealous."

"Then why do you look like you're going to rip her head off?"

She did _not_. After all, she did not even know the girl. She could be a long time friend or - a family member. What did she know? And she trusted Kouga. Why would she not trust him. He had pledged himself to her over and over again. There was no reason to be worried about anything and -

 _Oh god, she did know that girl_.

It had not been obvious at first, especially since she had focused more on the girl's actions than her face. Now that she was getting a good look at her it was all coming; the green eyes, the red hair. Ayame. The girl who had hated her for _stealing Kouga away_. And that was back when there was nothing going on between the two of them. And why in the world were they so familiar now? She remembered Kouga saying that - hm, he was not interested in her, that she was an annoying girl and yet now she was hanging on to his arm like a bride to be. What had happened during those five hundred years? Did they actually give it a try?

Oh god were they exes?

"And, I'm sure you remember Kagome."

The sound of Kouga's voice brought her back to reality. She had missed the beginning of his sentence but she had clearly heard the rest. Why - why was he talking to her? Why was he re-introducing her? And most of all, why was he not moving away from her and her clutches?

"Kagome?" Ayame frowned and twisted her head to the side, forcing her long mane of her hair to sway to the side. "Weren't you human?"

"It's a long story," Kouga said with a chuckle.

"And why are you here?"

Kagome wanted to speak - she really did. But the words were not coming out. She was dumbfound as she stared at the she wolf who was clearly waiting for an answer - and answer she was probably not going to like.

"She's Kouga's intended," Ginta finally provided as he gestured to Kagome's neck. He knew Kouga and Kagome would probably be displeased that he brought that situation back up but he had no other choice. It was hard to ignore the vibe coming from Kagome. The newcomers might not notice it but that was only because they were no familiar with Kagome's gentle nature. Because they were so used to her and her aura, they could really tell that something was going on.

He had to help her.

Ayame's mouth opened then closed and finally she decided to settle on a smile. "That's great. Finally."

Although her words were supposed to be joyful, Kagome could not hear the actual happiness behind her words. "Thank you," was all Kagome managed to whisper out.

Kouga popped his lips as his gaze traveled from Kouga to Ginta. That was not his Kagome. There was a weird vibe in her aura, one that caused him to frown. He looked at Ginta for answers but the other youkai just stared at Ayame. _Ayame_. Oh - wait. Kagome was in a bad mood because of her?

"So, you two are friends now?" Kagome finally managed to utter.

"Well you know," Ayame said as she squeezed Kouga's arm a little tighter, "the last of us have to hang together."

Yep. He was definitively in the middle of something. Although he was not quite sure why he found himself in this situation. Did he not tell Kagome that she was the only one? That wolves mated for life? He had even left a mark on her. She could not possibly doubt his feelings for her.

Shyly, Kagome reached out for Kouga's hand and slowly intertwined their fingers. Her motion forced Kouga closer to her which meant the grip Ayame had on him had to loosen up. At first it did not but after he tugged a bit, she finally let go of his arm and Kagome felt a wave of relief wash over her. She was a horrible person was she not? Why was she feeling this horrible emotion in the pit of her stomach? How could she not control herself like this? Kouga was nothing more than trustworthy and she should believe in him. He never hurt her. At least not purposefully.

"Alright, food time," screamed someone out of her sight. "Everybody in the kitchen."

For the first time, Ayame walked past them, although she did look back. As the living room was emptying out, the wolves rushing to the meal, Kouga took advantage of the opportunity. He leaned in closer to Kagome and pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "Are you okay?" He did not want to flat out come out and accuse her of anything. He decided the safe, subtle route was much better.

"Yes, I am."

"Kagome…" She was not fooling him.

"I-" She could not say it, she could not admit what she felt. "I just, you know. Last time I saw her, she disliked me and she was out for my head. I missed the whole, you guys became friend back you know. Adjustment. And with everything that happened, I'm a little jumpy." God, she was using Izu to back up her lie. What kind of horrible person had she turned into?

That did make more sense than a jealousy fit. "Don't worry. Ayame has grown up since then."

"I see that," she said as she followed him into the kitchen.

Did she grow up to be an understanding person or just a sneakier bitch?

-U-

_And it was time to celebrate_.

Because so may wolves were reunited, it seemed that the natural progression to the reunion was to celebrate. Beers were brought out and suddenly, everyone was gathering and drinking. She had forgotten how loud a pack of wolves could be - not that it was a bad thing. At some point during the night she had somewhat lost track of Kouga. She did not want to be the annoying girlfriend hanging by his side at all time. After all, she had just convinced him that she was not jealous. And truly she did not _want_ to be jealous. Why should she be? She experienced that emotion in the past when it came to Kikyo and Inuyasha and she did not like it.

Except this time was different. Kouga never made her feel like she came in second.

So she could trust him and she could let him chat up with the other pack and do whatever it was he had to do as a pack leader. And Ayame should not be able to ruin them or her mood. It was fine, everything was _fine_.

Also, why could she not spot that girl's red hair. It should not be that hard to see in a sea of brown and black. And yet, Ayame felt nowhere to be found.

"Hey sis."

She jumped at the sound of Ginta's voice and was startled, like she had been caught doing something she was not supposed to be doing. "Hey."

"You shouldn't worry so much."

"I'm not worried." God, why did everyone have to ask. It made her feelings even more embarrassing; she felt like an idiot just fine on her own. She did not need other people to remind her she was an idiot.

It also did not help that the last conversations she had with Kouga or the girls involved mating - and bonding forever. They all seemed to think that as a human, it would take a while for her to grasp the concept. And Kouga. He had simply said that it was not big deal, almost like it meant nothing. But it had to mean something or he would not have done. There was a lot he held back on - for her sake. And she just - what if he was reminded that he did not have to hold back so much. She was so much younger compared to him and there was so much she had yet to experience. Him on the other hand, he had seen it all and lived through it all.

What if she became too complicated and what if it was not worth it in the end?

He held on to what she used to be and maybe he was not seeing what she was now.

What if someone else could show him that it would all be easier, that it _should_ be easier?

And why in the world was she worrying herself with things like these?

"You frown an awful lot for someone who isn't worried."

"Why is she so touchy feeling with him?"

She did not understand the past and the history behind them. How did they go from what she had last seen to what they were now? It did not make sense to her. Kouga was a friendly person and she had missed a lot of the wolves' history but it still did not add up for her.

"She tried to get with him for a long time," he confirmed. "To her that promise meant everything."

She had seen that; she had almost been ready to kill Kagome over it. Although she could understand the dream Ayame was holding on to, she also thought that perhaps she should have understood that it was a long time ago, that it was a silly promise and nothing more.

"But she eventually understood that he wasn't interested in her that way. Afterwards, they became friends."

Did Ayame really understand that it was never going to go anywhere or did she play the friendship card? Kagome had chosen to be Inuyasha's friend but it did not mean that she did not have any feelings for him. She did. It was just that it was her only option at the time. Then again, right now, Kagome was being an awful person; she was judging someone she knew nothing about. She had been young once, she had been stupid as well. Her love for Inuyasha had been a stupid decision and she made it anyway. Maybe she needed to give Ayame a chance. Maybe she needed to get to know her before making up her mind about her.

"That's good."

Ginta laughed. "You don't act like you think it's good." He shook his head. "Wolves are just very touchy. You must have noticed."

She did.

"It's fine. Trust me, Kouga only has eyes for you."

"I know." And yet there was this part of her that wanted _everyone_ to know he was hers.

Unconsciously, she brought a hand to her neck and began rubbing the mark he had left behind. Her action made Ginta raise an eyebrow. Usually the mating mark caused people to be influenced by the other's traits. He did not know how well that bond passed through two people when it was just an intended mark. Maybe Kouga's temper was flowing through Kagome, fuelling her fears.

Kagome popped her lips before offering Ginta a smile. "You know what, you're right. I should probably apologize for earlier." She did feel bad; that was not a lie. She took a deep breath and walked away from Ginta with the intention of finding Ayame.

She moved through the crowd, smiling back at the people who smiled at her. Obviously they knew who she was; if Kouga had not mention it then, they could clearly smell him on her and that give it all away. It made her a little embarrassed that everyone here could not know everything about her by simply smelling her but it was something she had to get used to - and she was going to. Finally, she located a mass of red hair and smiled a little as she headed towards Ayame.

Except, she then stopped dead in her tracks. Ayame was standing beside Kouga. He was talking to some other people and she was staring right at him. There was something in her eyes; it was like he was her world, like he was her everything. She drank in every word he said and every once in a while, she would slightly bump into him, closing the distance between them. Kagome froze, her blood like ice. Her grip on her beer tightened and she forced herself to completely finish it. Four beers. That was not too many. She dropped it down on the nearest table and re-focused her attention on the redhead in front of her.

Oh god, she was about to do something stupid.

She was about to do something stupid and there was nobody around to stop her.

Really, she should just join them - or walk away. But somehow she felt like she could do neither. She needed to take a deep breath and she needed to think about what she was about to do.

But she could not think; she could only be insecure. She had a talk with Kouga about her insecurities, where she had told him not to leave, where she had asked him to stay. She even said they could be friends if it did not work out. He had put these worries to rest; how come they were swirling inside of her chest at that very moment? It was bad timing. She felt like she could not understand him, as if she could not offer him everything he could have another youkai - and then Ayame showed up.

Why was her life a series of bad timing?

Why could it not be easy and simple? Why couldn't things simply work out?

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid_.

She held on to the courage given to her by the beer and she launched herself forward. Before anybody could realize what was happening, she had taken hold of Kouga's hand and she began dragging him away. She dragged him up the stairs, she dragged him into the hall way. Her tug was so powerful that he even dropped his beer to the ground, causing a mess. But none of that caused her to stop in her steps. If she stopped, if she took a moment to think she would coward away from this - and she could not do that.

Kagome could hear Kouga trying to say something but she was blocking all of his words, making sure she could not hear any of it. She was deafened by the sound of her own heartbeat. After what felt like forever, they finally reached his bedroom. She swung the door opened and then flip right back around, closing it with the weight of their bodies. Again, taking advantage of his current confusion, she slammed her lips upon his, capturing his mouth into a passionate kiss. She let her hands roam free across his body, feeling every inch of his hard muscles beneath her fingertips. She moaned in his mouth while he finally pressed his body to hers.

The taste of her was heavenly, and it felt like it had been forever, but he knew he had to push her away. He had to right? "W-wait," he whispered against her lips.

"It's fine," she replied as she kept peppering the length of his jaw with her lips.

"Kagome…"

She was making it hard to be a nice boyfriend at the moment. He wanted to wrap his arms around her waist and then push her down on the bed. He wanted to comfortably lay between her legs and feel her warm core pressed to him. It frustrated him that their sex life was dictated by the pack and he knew it affected her as well. However, none of this was normal Kagome behavior. He knew she had a few drinks, but nothing that would make her be drunk or anything like that. It was something else. Could it still be Ayame?

"There's even more people now than usually." Instead of being one pack they were two.

Kagome led her hands slid beneath his shirt, finally caressing the warm skin with her palms. "I don't care," she replied despite her loud heartbeat. Because she did care.

He arched an eyebrow. Kagome always cared.

She grazed her blunt teeth against the flesh of his throat, dragging them all the way down to his collarbone. She could not leave marks like a youkai and she certainly could never mark him like he did. Would that be something he would miss? Something that he would want? Then again, would he not have taken a mate way before if he had missed that? He could have always had Ayame and he never took her. There had to be a reason for that.

"Kagome," he said, his voice harsher. Although it cost him everything, he grabbed her shoulders and slightly pushed her away from his body. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. I just -" What, what could she say that to that? She really wanted to fuck his brains out with Ayame downstairs? She really wanted to confirm that she was crazy and that nothing was going on? Oh god, she was shameful, shameful. She completely pulled away from his hold and buried her face in her hands. She could feel the tears of shame rising to her eyes and she could not let him see that.

She turned away from him and then she walked to the bed. It only left her with one choice; she threw herself onto the bed and hide away into the pillows. She was hoping he would stay away and that he might leave the room but she knew better. He was Kouga and he would not walk away from her. She felt the shift in the bed as he joined her and all she could was try to merge with the bed. Unfortunately for her, it did not work. She felt his warm hand on her hip and he gently squeezed, probably trying to comfort her.

"Talk to me?" He was almost begging.

He felt like he might have screwed up big times and he did not know how to fix it. He really did want to fix it though. Whatever it was that was making her cry, he would make it stop. He had made her cry once and he had hated himself for it. He never wanted to be the reason behind her sadness; he wanted to be the reason behind her smile. Maybe he should not have turned her down? But then again, he was not turning her down. He had simply been concerned. Kagome did not act irrationally and he knew how uncomfortable she was to be intimate while everyone was in the house. Her fear could not have gone away that quickly.

"I'm an idiot," she said against the pillow.

If it weren't for his excellent hearing, he would not have heard her. "Ya ain't an idiot."

"I am."

"What's wrong?" This time his tone was more serious, more demanding. He would not sit there while she insulted herself.

She sighed, finally giving up. How long would she be able to hide this from him anyway? She turned around, dry tears staining her cheeks. The one thing she was unable to do was meet his gaze. "Was Ayame one of the girls?"

"What?"

"Was Ayame one of the girls you hooked up with?"

He blinked once. Then twice. "Me and Ayame?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Then why does she touch you so much?"

Why what? He had not noticed. Then again, packs tended to be close and he was used to the familiarity. He had known Ayame for a long time. Perhaps they were things she did that he got used to - and he never paid attention to again. But he had asked her about Ayame… and she had lied? He felt like bringing it up but then again, it did not feel like the right time to do so; she was already a mess. "I- we're just friends Kagome. I didn't notice she was…"

And she was the biggest idiot on the planet. "Sorry."

He tilted his head to the side, frustration rising inside of him. He was not frustrated with her - he was frustrated with himself. He let a situation get out of control and now she was like this because of him. He did not want her to hurt. "Kagome, I'm the one who's sorry."

"No, you don't have anything to be sorry about. It's me, I'm being stupid."

"No, I wouldn't like it if some guy had his hands all over you." He would probably rip his throat out and then eat his heart or something. The simple thought of someone else's hands on her body made his blood boil. "I - we've been friends for so long, it's just something I got used to. I won't let her do it again." He really, never, ever thought of it as something harmful, or something that could hurt her. It became part of the background for him. He was such a fucking idiot.

Kagome sat up on the bed and then reached out for his hand. "Sorry I dragged you away. And sorry about the beer."

He chuckled. "It's fine, although the guys are probably wondering when we're gonna start getting busy."

That got a laugh out of her.

He took advantage of the distraction to grab her chin with his thumb and finger. He forced her to look at him and then he tried to smile. "I want you to tell me when something is bothering you."

She should. There was no reason to not trust him. "I - I didn't want to feel like this."

"It doesn't matter, you oughta tell me."

She nodded.

"Kagome, I don't care about anyone else."

He scooted over closer to her and used his grip on her chin to plant a kiss on her lips. "Kagome, I love _you_. Not her, not anybody else." He would not make Ginta's mistake; he would not bring up the mark. Although, that in itself meant something as well. But they were not there yet.

"I know."

He lowered his mouth and began kissing her neck. He made sure to avoid the spot with the mark but that did not stop him from devouring her neck. He let his tongue roam over her skin, tasting her, and enjoying the fact that his scent was on her skin. Anyone with youkai blood could easily tell that she was his and it filled him with pride. As he kept on kissing her neck, she slowly molded against him. He let go of her chin and opted for an arm around her waist. That changed in position allowed him to lay her down on the bed. Almost immediately her legs spread open and offered him the opportunity to nestle himself between them. An opportunity that he took.

Her legs lifted and she wrapped them around his waist, pushing him even closer to her. She had been jealous; she had wanted to show her claim on him by bringing him upstairs and having him fuck her senseless. He would be lying if he said it was not a pleasing thought. He knew he was always two steps ahead of her - but the fact that she was catching up… it was pleasing. She was afraid of losing him. She wanted him to stay by her side. She was willing to do something that made her completely uncomfortable, if it meant keeping him by her side. He never wanted her to have to do anything like that, but the fact that she was willing to do it…

Feelings swell in his chest, and he let his mouth travel to every inch of skin that was available to him. He lapped at her neck, her lips, her collarbone. He even let his hands travel to her breasts. He did not want to make her comfortable but he wanted to feel all of her. She tasted like heaven and honey had mixed together and he could not believe his luck. He ended up burying his nose in her hair and inhaling her scent. At this point she giggled, his warm breath tickling her.

The part that they were both missing was the fact that they were dry humping each other.

They got in a few times - barely any. And after her display of possessiveness, he did not mind helping her prove to everyone that she was his and he was hers.

"Everyone's here," he breathed against her ear. He needed to remind her of that.

"I know," she whispered.

She knew and yet that did not help with the fire that was burning in the pit of her stomach. She had feared losing him and now she wanted to lose herself in him. She was well aware that there was no way of doing this without alerting everyone. But then, if she knew all that, why was her heart beating so fast. His hands were like silk, brushing up against her skin and leaving trails of promises she knew he could fulfill. Would doing this really lessen her worries? It was stupid. Then again, was it really about her silly jealousy, or was it about telling him and showing him everything she kept locked inside.

She had lost so much and she was so afraid to lose more than she already had.

And if there was someone she wanted in her life, it was him.

A simple girl showed up and she was willing to do anything to keep him by her side. She already knew the feelings she had for him, but this made her see how much they had amplified over the last few months. She felt more for him than she ever had before.

His hand found its way to her breast, gently brushing over her covered nipple. He wanted the real thing, he wanted her naked, soft and plump breast in the palm of his hand and he could not. The temptation was killing him. He tore himself away from her neck and meant her gaze. There was something new shining in her eyes and he did not know what it was. She stared at him with her moist lips parted as though she was waiting for him to give her an answer. But an answer to what?

"I- I love you." Her words were quiet, as though she had hoped he would not hear them but he had.

His heart stopped for a moment and a panic filled him. His brain was scrambling for a reason behind her sudden sharing and he was scared that it had something to do with Ayame and he did not want it to have anything to do with Ayame. He wanted this whole moment to be only about them and nothing more. He had said it to her and it had almost broken their moment. He did not want her declaration to have the same kind of repercussions. Also, he was tryign to figure out if his ears had deceived him. He knew she felt a lot for him but knowing and actually hearing it were two very different things.

"Kagome, you don't have to say it."

Was that a stupid thing to say? It probably was.

"I want to," she whispered out. "I - I thought I might lose you. I considered for a second that she might be better for you. I thought maybe she could do this whole mating thing because - because she would actually understand it and she knows everything it means and I don't."

"I'm not asking you to mate me Kagome."

"I know, but it's not fair to you. That's what your people do and - I" And until now, she had never even told him that she loved him.

"And it doesn't matter. You're not youkai and I'm not expecting you to be, just like you don't expect me to be human." She always accepted every part of him. Actually, she even gave him shit when he doubted that he was enough for her because of his youkai nature. She was perfect and he'd give up anything for her.

"It matters to me because it matters to you," she replied, her voice shaking and breaking under her emotions. She was overwhelmed, her heart racing and her blood pumping through her like she was racing through time. She never thought she would say it out loud to anybody. Before finding Kouga again, she thought she was all alone - forever. But he understood her. "I thought I could lose you and it scared me. And I acted like an idiot and -"

Oh god why did he have to look at her like that.

"And I love you." This time, her voice shook a little less.

Kouga could finally let himself truly enjoy the moment as her words spread a warmth through him. He was already happy that she was jealous and now she was saying the words he had accidentally said to her too soon. He would never leave her and he would never love anyone like he loved her. He knew her feelings for him were sincere but this confirmed it. This erased all doubts he might have had.

He did the only thing he could think of; he kissed her.

His mouth completely captured hers and he poured his feelings behind even ministrations. He tasted her, he sucked on her lips and he made sure she felt the fire burning inside of him. And she did, because it lite the same fire inside of her. Her mind was dizzy from need; she needed him. She had felt shame and fear and now, she wanted to find the safety that only he could provide her with - and she could not have it. Every time she wanted to forget about all the people that surrounded them she could not.

And he could feel her distraction.

"They're too loud to forget huh?"

"A little."

He rested his forehead on top of hers before pressing a kiss to her nose. "I mean, we could be really quiet."

"Again, have you met me?"

He chuckled.

"Plus, being quiet won't help with the noisey youkai nose."

She had a point there. Although there was always the shower. They did have a great time in that shower - their first time. Or - well, that would probably warn the guys that something was going on and she probably could not handle all that teasing in front of a pack that she did not even know.

"There are other things…" he finally suggested.

"Other things?" What other things could they possibly do that she could do in silence? It was not as though she meant to be loud… honestly it was mostly his fault rather than hers.

"I can do a lot of things with my mouth."

She had to shiver at his words. He promised things that he could not deliver at the moment and that was the worst form of teasing. "Nothing that I can keep quiet while you do it…"

"So maybe they hear a little."

She playfully smacked his arm. "I don't think so."

"Why not, I mean _you love me_."

There it was the teasing she had been expecting.

And it was okay. Now he could talk about it and he could make fun of it. Because he said it and she had finally said it back. A weight had been lifted off both their chests. Also, for the first time, she was not as scared. She might not understand all that came with being a youkai, but it was starting to make more sense. The mark was not something that she could give him and it might never be something she could fully understand.

But she could love him.

And he loved her.

It had to be all that mattered.

Right?

-U-


	25. Two Sides

_She was fine_.

She was calm and collected and she was no longer jealous. Kouga and her had talked it over and really - there was no reason to worry or anything like that. She was in full control of her emotions. No, she was not staring at her phone like a mad woman, and she was not considering disobeying every rule to sleep over at Kouga's house every night. _She would never_. And yet, there was a tingling in her spine and there was an annoyance pressing at her. It was hard to ignore it as she checked for the millionth time if she had a new notification on her phone - she did not.

Everything had gone well.

Kouga had been quite accepting - and happy - about her declaration of three little words. It had not been planned but she would not take it away for anything in the world. She was glad she said it - it took away some of the stress she had been feeling.

That part of her life was almost all in order. There was only one thing left she had to fix; her own life. She was still jobless and directionless and that was something she had to fix. Maybe other things - like redheads living with her boyfriend - would bother her less if she actually had other things to focus on. Plus, she was tired of this endless cycle of doing nothing. Her life _had_ to go somewhere at some point. Hanging out with the wolves was fun, being included in their life was great, but there had to be more than that. At the end of the day, they did their own things and they had their own sets of responsibilities - including Kouga.

He could not _always_ be there.

She had to find her own kind of happiness.

Kagome led out a groan before she buried her face inside of her blanket. Why- why could it not be easier than this? Why could she simply not _figure it out_? Nothing appealed to her, nothing - nothing seemed like the right choice. A long time ago, she had been quite depressed and nothing had sparked her interest. She refused to believe that she still felt this way, to this day. Things had gotten a lot better in her life; she smiled more, she laughed more. Or had she simply been avoiding all of the problems that had piled up since the well closed?

 _Ugh_.

"Kagome?"

At the sound of her mother's voice, Kagome's ears perked up. Had she really been complaining that loudly? " _Mom?"_

"Can I come in?"

Kagome smoothened her hair before rising up in her bed so that she could sit up straight. Her mother did not need to witness the mess that she had become. "Yeah," she finally replied as she fixed her blanket.

Timidly, Miyu came in, peeking at her daughter. She had heard a few sounds of desperation as she had been walking down the hall and it had caught her interest. Kagome was in a better mood these days, but it did not prevent her from worrying. Although her relationship with Kouga seemed to fill her with joy… well, often relationships came with their own sets of struggles and difficulties. She knew her daughter had lost a lot of her friends over the years, both because of her constant travels but also because of her depression. She did not have a lot of people she could vent to - and she probably did not want to talk to Kouga… about Kouga.

She wanted to be there for her daughter.

"Are you alright?" her mother asked as she sat at the edge of the bed.

She was great. She could not really tell her mother she was jealous; that fell under the very embarrassing category of things to not tell your mother. That and the sex thing. Actually, _especially the sex thing_.

"I'm okay."

She nodded. "How's Kouga?"

Kouga was always great. She did envy that about him. He always had a solution to a problem - and even when he did not he trusted his instincts. He had maybe done a few mistakes but he did not seem to dwell on them for the rest of his life. If only she had possess that skill. Her life would be much easier. He knew where he was headed and he had no problem following his path.

"He's good."

Miyu let her fingers drummed along her thigh as she wondered for the perfect way to express herself. She had never been shy speaking with her daughter and she had always been honest with her. Ever since she had begun feeling sad, it had been hard to have the same conversation as before. She did not want to risk upsetting her further - but she also did not want to lose her to this sadness.

"Kagome, I know you have been busier with your life lately, but if you need me, I am here."

And there was so much she wanted to say, and so much she wanted to talk about but she could not. Oh hey mom, I was super stressed because when I lost my virginity, I didn't wear anything. Imagine that, I could have been pregnant. It was not exactly the type of mother-daughter conversation Kagome wanted to have. Except, everything with her friend, everything with Kouga - that was her whole life at the moment.

"I'm fine, I've just been worrying over nothing."

"If you're worrying about it, it's not nothing, honey."

She twisted her face, unsure of how to proceed; could she talk about _that_ with her mother? She was convinced her mother did not have a jealous bond in her body. She was simply a kind and loving person. "A pack has been staying with Kouga's pack."

"And that's bad?" All the youkais she had ever known were kind creatures - but - they were all kinds of humans, so it was fair to assume there were all kids of youkais.

Kagome sighed; she would have to admit a bad side of her personality. " _I just- there is this girl_."

Miyu could not help the smile that reached her face. "Another girl?"

Could she hide her face in shame now? _God_ she felt absolutely stupid. This is why she needed friends that were not her mother. "Yes, a girl who used to be in love with Kouga."

"Ah."

"I mean - she thought they were engaged to be married." Alright, promised - but whatever, it was the feudal era's version to being promised to each other.

"And were they?" She could feel her daughter was about to go on a rampage and she did not want to interrupt.

" _No_." Although… "A little. Well, Kouga made this promise…" she sighed. "But he had been so young - _she_ had been so young _, it was -_ it was just a silly thing to comfort her. It did not mean anything." How many times had she spun tales and told little white lies to comfort a child? She had done it to Shippo more than once. It was a thing. It should not be held against a person and it - it should not define anybody's life. "And then - well, when she found out about me… she was out for my head."

"She tried to hurt you, now?" Miyu frowned. This light hearted story was taking a direction she did not quite appreciate.

 _"No_ ," she quickly retracted. "Before, she tried to kill me _before_."

"Oh."

"Now, she was…" She was not rude, she was not nice or impolite or lovely or… she had not been anything really. She had been a neutral regular human being. Then again, she had been quite touchy with Kouga… "She was okay, I guess."

"Okay?" She knew that hid something else.

She groaned. "She kept _touching_ Kouga."

Miyu let out a small chuckle before reaching out for her daughter's cheek. "Kouga loves you." She had seen it in his eyes the first time she met him. She had known it before he even admitted it to himself. And she saw the changes in her daughter as she developed feelings for him. She was a silent actor in the scenery but it did not mean she missed some of the details. "He only has eyes for you. He's very devoted."

"I know." And she felt bad when she threw her jealousy fit at him. And an I love you even came out of it but - but it did not dissipated her worries. Even now, she was concerned about Ayame's presence. "I just- I don't like that she's over there with him, and I'm over here."

It was probably the only way she could say this without asking for permission to stay there.

"Are they a lot of people?"

"Yea, more than they should be in that house." They were probably crammed more than it was allowed and it was… most likely uncomfortable. As long as nobody was sharing Kouga's bedroom with him… she was okay with it.

"And now you want to go over?" Her daughter had not asked, but she could hear it being subtlety implied. Kagome was indeed an adult, one who had to make a lot of decisions she should not have way before it was time. Her adventures on the other side of the well had aged her. And - and she trusted her. She was not quite sure she would be thrilled to always have her over there, coming in and out at all times of day and night. But, there were a lot of people. And Kagome was worried. Worry could bring about a bad spiral and she wanted to avoid that.

"I - I didn't _say_ that." But she was thinking it. Except now all she could do was blush because - well, she knew what _could_ happen between Kouga and her.

"Then you should go."

"W-what?"

"For one night, go spend one night. See that nothing is wrong, and then come back the next day."

Kagome blinked once, then twice, trying to make sure that she had heard her mother right; she was giving her permission to sleep over? _She was not going to argue_. Although, now she felt even worse. It was trust that her mother was putting into her and she did not want to break it or ruin it. "Thank you," were the words she settled on before hugging her mother.

Now, she just needed one more thing; she needed her arrival to be a surprise.

She was still quite not at ease with making a random appearance somewhere that was not her home but they had told her time and time again to treat it like her own house. Well, she was about to do that.

Not because she wanted to check up on Ayame or anybody else. She simply wanted to surprise her amazing boyfriend with a surprise sleepover.

Nothing wrong with that right?

-U-

"Sis?"

Hakkaku beamed a smile while he looked at her. It was the first time Kouga did not tell them she was coming over. Usually, it was accompanied with a huge speech about how _they needed to be on their best behaviour._ And any kind of teasing that was related to sex was prohibited. Although - they always did it anyway. If they did not make fun of that, what else were they going to make fun of?

"Hey Hakkaku. I'm not intruding I hope?"

"What? This is your home," he said as he led her in, putting his hand on her shoulder. "It's just Kouga didn't tell us you were coming…" His eyes finally landed on her black bag. "And he didn't tell us you were staying over! This is great. Wait." He frowned. "Are you guys going away for the weekend or something?" Maybe it was a secret thing. Maybe he wanted to get away from it all. Maybe he wanted to get Kagome away from Ayame. The scents, the hints - everyone had kind of noticed the jealousy that had been going on. Except - Kagome was family and Kouga was their alpha. Nobody would dare mention it. They might all joke about sex, but this was a topic they were not yelling to touch.

Not in a million years.

"He, hm, he doesn't know." Suddenly she was blushing and she forced her glance down as to not meet Hakkaku's eyes. "I hope it's okay."

Hakkaku's nose wrinkled at the scent of shame. "Kagome, it's your home too. You come whenever." He was never very good at the whole consoling thing - but he was hoping the troubles from yesterday were solved. It had seemed like it - unless they had all guessed wrong.

"Where's Kouga?"

"Hm, I'm sure he's on his way right here." If someone could spot Kagome from a mile away, it was him.

"Kagome?"

Just as he had guessed. Hakkaku grinned at Kagome before removing his hand from her shoulder. "I will leave you two alone." Either they had something to resolve, or they had something to celebrate. Whichever one it was, he did not want to intrude on the moment. "See ya, Sis."

"Hey, what are you doing here?" he asked as he leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead.

If someone asked her that one more time, she was going to regret coming uninvited. Instead, she put a smile on and lifted her bag. "Surprise sleep over!"

He arched an eyebrow. "And it's okay?"

She nodded. She was not about to tell him that this was all possible thanks to her sharing her jealous insecurities with her mother. Never in a million years. "My mom thought it might be good for me." Which, really - was not a lie. "And I know you guys have a lot of people over already…" She blushed. "I figured nobody was sharing your room with you." At least she hoped not.

He grinned before leaning into her ear. "Nah, my bed has been quite lonely."

He was not about to pass up this opportunity, especially not after the latest development they had. He did not expect it to come out of such a situation but he was thankful for it.

A shiver ran through her and she could not help but lean into him. His presence was strong and powerful; he pulled her in with each breath he took. Everything was better than it was before she spoke those little words. She could not regret them. She would not. He did only have eyes for her. She had barely set a foot in that he had been heading for her.

"Hey Kouga, where did you go?"

And that voice totally ruined it for her. She re-opened her eyes, letting reality set back in.

Kouga found it hard to ignore the annoyance that was rolling off Kagome's aura. He was certain even _Ayame_ could sense it. He had been avoiding her as best he could because _they were not that close_ and _it made Kagome uncomfortable_. Two valid reasons. Still, despite her annoyance, Kagome smiled at Ayame approached them. He knew he could not let this kind of situation go on but he was quite unsure as to how to deal with it. He did not want to fully lash out at Ayame but he did not want to ignore the problem. Not if it would cause problem with his relationship. Kagome came first. And it was not as though she asked him to do anything about it, but he did not want her to be uncomfortable.

"Ayame, I'm a little busy right now."

The statement startled both her and Kagome.

"Oh."

"I'll talk to you later," he said as he put his hand on the small of Kagome's back and began to lead her away.

He could easily tell that Ayame was ticked off, but Kagome was smiling. "What was that about?" she asked, as subtly as she could. She never said he could _not_ talk to her. She had simply mentioned that she found her quite annoying.

"I wanted to talk to you," he said with a big grin. "I told ya, nothing going on between me and her." If she had remnants of feelings, he had never noticed, she had never acted upon them and well, he did not care. He had the one woman he always wanted, and he could not be happier. It was all that mattered to him.

"I know." She did. She simply needed to remind herself from time to time.

Before she even realized it, he had led her up the stairs. At first she raised an eyebrow, teasing him.

" _It's crowded downstairs_." Half of it was from his pack and the other half was the intruders. He hated it when it was this packed but it was his only option. He had to keep everybody in line especially when it came to his territory. He liked his life here, he had been able to keep it going for a long time. Most of all, he had found Kagome here and he did not want people to start questioning who they were, or to attract attention. He did not want to be _far_ from her, and he would do anything he could to keep his life just the way it is.

For the first time, since losing everything, he found this perfect. This was the life he wanted to live forever.

"It adds atmosphere," she said with a smile as she followed him into his bedroom.

As soon as he stepped in and closed the door, he made a run for the bed. He let himself collapse on top of it, while a long sigh made its way past his lips. All the scents, all the noises; it was annoying the fuck out of him. This was better, this was quieter. And he knew what would make it perfect. Her.

"Come here," he whispered.

He wanted to bury his nose deep in her hair and forget about everything else around him.

A smile was drawn upon her lips as she joined him into the bed. She crawled on top of him, burying her face in his chest while he wrapped his strong arms around her. Her dark locks of hair were tickling his nose and he finally let his shoulders relax. This was good, this was peace.

"If I pretend they ain't here, will that make them go away?"

"I wish," she replied with a chuckle.

"You know, it's often gonna be like this."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't get to …" Fuck, he was not trying to have this conversation right now. He was supposed to be relaxing. Having a discussion about something far, far away into the future was not relaxing. Idiot. "I - I don't get the little house with the white picket fence and shit. I'm gonna live with the pack."

She moved her head away from his chest and stared at him intensively with the tiniest furrow of her eyebrows. "Who do you take me far?"

"W-what?"

" _I know_ ," she replied aggravated. "You're not human Kouga, and I'm never gonna expect you to be."

"It means no privacy."

She sighed. "I'll get used to it." Sex was a new thing to her and - honestly she had a feeling that they enjoyed teasing them so much simply because they got such a rise out of them. One day, everybody would be used to it and nobody would pay attention to anybody. At least, it was what she kept telling herself. She could not believe that throughout all the years, they spent every moment spying on everybody having sex. It could not be.

"Never alone."

"We'll kick them out once in a while."

He grinned. "A lot of eyes and a lot of opinions."

"The more the merrier." For a second he felt like _he_ was the one trying to run out of the relationship. If she did not know him any better, she would think he was trying to find reasons to break them apart. But he was Kouga and he had waited a long time for them to be together. Although… her recent fears… this was not helping. She had considered the fact that she was not good enough for him, not youkai enough. And now that he was pointing out all of these details… it was as though he was feeding those insecurities. "You're not gonna get rid of me mister," she teased, trying to hide her fear.

He gripped her face with his hands. "I'd never wanna be rid of you."

And he meant every word.

He already considered himself the luckiest man alive to have her by his side.

"Although… Now that you love me. This might be gettin' a little too serious."

She smacked him hard on the arm, the slap echoing through the room.

"Ah yes, and there's also the violence."

She teasingly narrowed her eyes at him and he chuckled.

This was what he wanted forever.

Minus the annoying pair of ears lingering around the door.

-U-

It stared at her.

And she stared right back.

The tiniest dog with the floppiest ears was just tilting his head, observing Kagome. She could not help but break into a smile. The tiny creature was mesmerized by the bag of goodies she had on her lap. Her mother's friend owned a veterinarian clinic, and they were having a charity event to help abandoned pets. Out of the kindness of her heart, her mother had baked a few things to help out. Since Souta had a soccer match her mother could not miss, Kagome was in charge of the delivery. It did get her out of either houses she often went to (her own and Kouga's) and she welcomed the change of air.

 _Also,_ Buyo was no longer the cutest thing in the world. He was the _fattest_ thing in the world though.

"Kagome?"

Kagome raised her head and was met by Kamisa. She jumped to her feet and hurried in her direction after one last look at the puppy. "My mother wanted me to deliver these," she said as she dropped the cupcake box on the counter.

"It'll be a great help," Kamisa replied with a smile. "A lot of these poor buddies don't have a home," she said as she petted a cat that was on the counter.

Kagome joined her into the petting, scratching behind the cat's ear.

"Your mother tells me you saw a wolf."

Not exactly. More like a half human wolf. "Yea…" Now, she could not help but wonder how that conversation came up.

"I don't think I've ever heard of wolves coming this far into the city."

"He must have been lost," she replied, focusing her attention on the cat as to not let her notice the lies she spoke.

"That is the problem with big cities. It affects the animals' instincts." She grabbed the box from the counter and turned around to give it to her colleague. "You know, not a lot of people would have stopped to help."

"I couldn't leave him like that." Short sentences were the best; she did not know what story her mother had given her and she did not want to over share. Although, there was some truth to what she was saying. After all, she had not known the wolf's true identity when she tried to help. And she had even called herself an idiot for helping. But - something in her had forced her to help. Was it because deep down she recognized Kouga, or because she could not let it suffer?

It did go against everything in her nature. Mikos were supposed to heal and help. Then again, Mikos were supposed to be Youkais' natural enemies - not their _intended_.

She was never very good at the whole Miko thing anyway…

"Have you ever considered this line of work?"

"I'm sorry?"

Kamisa shrugged her shoulders. "You seem very calm and patient with the animals - and they seemed to trust you. A wounded wolf should be more aggressive, not calmer. Maybe there is a venue for you in this field."

She had never considered it. Why should she? She barely passed her classes and every since she returned from the well her life had gone down the drain.

"I - no, I never thought of it."

"Something to think about," Kamisa replied with a smile. "Thank you for bringing these, and please thank your mother for me."

"Will do," Kagome said as she walked away from the counter.

Her? Dealing with animals?

She could barely take care of herself properly. Her messed up education had ruined all her chances at become anything.

-U-

"So what are you gonna do about her?"

Kagome sighed, resisting the urge to bury her face into her hands and stay there forever. She had made the mistake to come straight to Kouga's house after her little delivery. The boys were out and about, getting a tour from Kouga and the pack. They had wanted to visit and Kouga had refused to let them go on their own. She did wonder what made him so paranoid of packs exploring the city; she could only imagined that one time, things turned out completely horrible.

Unfortunately, that left her with the girls. That did include Ayame, that had to stay behind like all the other females.

Except, it was not Ayame trapping her into a room with no escape. No, instead she was held prisoner by Kasumi, Miya and Yumi. Although the girls had grown on her, it did not mean she appreciated the little interrogation. After all, it was their fault that she had all those insecurities and fears to begin with! If they had not scared her with the _not youkai enough_ thing, she might not have ended as jealous as she had.

"About who?" she asked, playing innocent. Kagome was very convinced that Ayame could hear them talk from where they stood. Having four walls meant nothing in this house; everything could be heard from anywhere.

" _You know who_ ," Yumi hushed.

"I'm sure she can hear you."

"Good," Kasumi pitched in. "She should hear about how you'll kick her ass for going after your man." Nobody had actually seen anything - and they knew Ayame from way back but… this was interesting and this was gossip. They had heard about the little jealousy - and they had heard Kagome and Kouga. _Oh and they knew about the I love you_ that was shared. All of it was now widely known. Nothing really interesting happened anymore. Whenever there was novelty, it was always related to Kagome. They had all been together so long that, everything was boring.

Not this though.

"I'm not gonna do anything."

Miya pouted. "Why not?"

"Because there is nothing to do. Kouga and I are together. Ayame is not interested in him."

"How do you know?"

"How do I know what?"

"That Ayame doesn't want his little cubs?"

"She is more ready."

"Yea, are you ready for kids?"

"She would probably mate him right away."

"Wouldn't be complicated to live the lifestyle."

" _Okay stop_." For the first time, Kagome actually raised her voice around them. "It's fine that Kouga and I are different. Things are different now and - we help each other cope with that. And I don't know what Ayame wants but it doesn't matter. Kouga and I are together and nothing is going to change that."

"I thought that for a bit."

Kagome jumped, startled, as Ayame's voice echoed in.

"When he made me that promise, I held on to those words every day." Granted, she had been pretty young back then - but it had been her life line. He had been the hero of her dreams, the promised prince. She knew that he had it in him to solve all of her problems. And then, he turned away and took away all the dreams he had given her. Worst of all, he had taken them away to give them to someone else. For a while, despite his constant denials of her demands, she had taken comfort in the fact that he had not ended up with Kagome. That comfort could no longer exist.

Although, it was not like she had stayed - _hung up_ on him.

She had never mated - it was too messy and difficult. Also, she had never found a wolf that could hold her interest. Nobody blew her out of the water like he did. He made such a strong impression on her that it was impossible for anybody to beat that.

They stayed in touch, they became friends and then - and then that was that. She enjoyed every lingering touch, she enjoyed every smile that was thrown her way. Could she say that she was still in love with him? She did not know. But she had never fallen in love with anybody else.

Neither had Kouga apparently.

She had not gotten the whole story - not everybody knew it - but Kagome stood there fully human and yet, she looked just as young as she had five hundred years ago. It was like some twist of fate had united the two of them. It was like they were meant to be and fate had found a way to make sure it happened. How could she fight that? She had all that time with him and it never changed his mind. All that told her was that perhaps that relationship was never meant to be more than the crush it was.

However, Kouga represented a lot for her. And she would be damned if she let him go to someone who did not deserve him.

She had done about everything she could to set Kagome off. The lingering touches, the constant presences. It had seem to work because she was ticked off - but it had yet to push her over the edge. What was Kagome willing to do to fight for her man? That was what Ayame wanted to know. So far, she was not impressed. Until she was, she would not leave her alone. If she wanted to be intended of someone like Kouga, she had to be willing to fight for him. Ayame certainly was not the only female who ever showed attention towards him. He was quite a catch and whoever got to sink their claws in him had to prove that she was worth it.

"But apparently he felt that way for someone else," finally added Ayame as she made eye contact with Kagome.

"He was just trying to comfort you," Kagome casually added, never breaking the eye contact.

"Maybe," she said as she took another step forward. "You know, you never did answer their question."

"What do you mean?" She could hear the sound of her own heart drumming. Ayame had not said anything yet but Kagome still felt challenged. The only problem was - she was never very good in a confrontation. She avoided them. The best solution was one where nobody got their feelings hurt. It did not seem like this was one of those situations. And somehow, lately, she was always the one being caught in the middle of those.

"You never said what you were going to do about me."

"W-what?"

" _You_ never said what _you_ were going to do about _me_ ," she repeated more slowly this time.

"I'm not gonna do anything."

Ayame tilted her head to the side, her red hair swaying across her shoulder. "Wrong answer."

"Kouga is mine, I don't have to do anything about you."

"I didn't say I was going to let you have him."

Kagome's eyes widened, her breath harshened as she took a step in the redhead's direction. "Let me?" She scoffed. "You don't own him."

"No, but that doesn't mean I can't make your life difficult." It was easy to annoy a couple and it was easy to start a discord. There just had to be doubts and fights and the rest would follow by itself.

"You're not gonna be here forever."

"I could be."

"Kouga wouldn't let you."

"This is a lot more complex than Kouga just doing whatever the fuck he wants." She smirked. "Then again, I wouldn't expect you to understand how youkais work."

She was _so_ tired of hearing this same sentence over and over again. "Just butt out of things that do not concern you," she finally said as she walked past Ayame, bumping her in the shoulder as she did so.

"Make me."

"W-what?" Kagome stopped dead in her tracks. She might not have been challenged often but it was easy to recognize when someone was provoking her.

"Make me."

She did not want to fight Ayame. There was no reason for a fight. Not only that but it was not the right way to solve this. They had nothing to fight about; Kouga and her had a relationship and Ayame and Kouga did not have one.

"He fights for you, but you can't fight for him. What a good intended."

 _That's it_. She was going to punch her.

-U-


	26. Payback Time

Nobody was moving, nobody was speaking.

When a youkai got angry, they all ignored it. After all, when youkais gathered, sometimes there was a little sparring but it was nothing out of the ordinary. Nobody concerned themselves with that. A little punch, a bit of blood and it was over. It was simply their way and everybody kept going with their own lives. This time, however, it was much different. This time, everyone was a little scared for their own lives. When a youkai was mad, he could only damage the youkais he was aiming at and no one else. _When a miko was mad_ , she could purify the whole lot of them.

And this was what they were scared of at the moment.

They all felt it, they all heard it.

It was a sizzling in the air as though electricity was traveling through and it was a slight burning across their skin, a flicker of pain. They knew only one person in the vicinity was a miko and they knew who she belonged to - Kouga. They all subtlety searched him with their eyes but nobody dared to move too fast. They did not all know her, they did not all remember her but a miko remained a miko and they did not know the extend of her power or the extend of her rage. The only one who moved was Kouga but even he was being careful.

Meanwhile, in another room, Kagome was shaking in anger. Her fists were trembling by her sides while she was using all of her self-control to _not_ punch Ayame. She was vaguely aware of the pink aura surrounding her, but her control on her powers was not good enough for her to be fully conscious of what she was doing and the wave of prickling feelings she was giving all the youkais. She wanted her fist to fly in Ayame's face and it was the only thing at the moment that had her full control and attention. She really should not fight her - especially here. She was trying to be reasonable, especially since Kouga was the host - and he was her boyfriend.

But that damn bitch was making it difficult to remain in full control.

Ever since she arrived, she had been making life impossible for her; she laid claims where she had known, she inserted herself where she was not welcome. And now, she claimed to know more about her feelings for Kouga than her herself. No. She did not have to fight him to prove that she loved him. _But she did want to punch the fuck out of Ayame._

"I don't have to prove anything to you," she said through hissed teeth.

That bitch.

The pink aura surrounding her could only grow with each passing seconds.

Ayame's green eyes narrowed and she hid how pleased she was with herself. Kagome was reacting how she had hoped - although she thought that by now, she would have gotten hit. She remembered Kagome as a very hot tempered woman but - what she was seeing in front of her was a lot more self-control than anticipated. She had pushed her about as far as she could - if she went any further, Kagome might end up accidentally injuring some of the youkais that were present and she could not let it get that out of hand. She had to admit, it was difficult to not wince despite the pressure and pain inflicted upon her skin by Kagome's power - but she had to keep a straight face.

"Maybe you have to prove it to everyone."

Nobody doubted her feelings for Kouga. They had all been rooting for this and they had all helped her along the way. Why should she need to prove anything to anyone? Especially her.

"Kouga and I are together."

"Maybe I want him."

"Well, you can't have him," she hissed through her teeth.

"What if he wants me?"

"He doesn't."

Ayame chuckled. "You don't know our whole story."

"He told me."

"Did he tell you everything?"

Her lips popped. She was a calm person, she was not a violent person - and she did not use her powers unless she was put in that situation. For the love of god, she never even really learned to control them. It was not like she could focus on Ayame and attack her as she pleased. She could punch her but she doubted that would do much damage; she was youkai. Would she even feel it?

"Yes."

He did. Because - he was Kouga and Kouga did not lie to her. Kouga loved her. Ayame was a spider, an evil that was trying to spread discord. And she did not need that in her life. She did not need to start doubting her relationship with Kouga.

"Maybe he didn't."

" _Maybe you need to stop,_ "

And her fist flew.

And it was not supposed to do much because she was only human. But it did. Her aura was wrapped around her, surging through her body, and the hit itself was not bad- but the repercussion from her holy aura burned Ayame's flesh. All around her nose, the sizzling sound of melting echoed, and a loud screech vibrated through the air. The shock of the pain was enough to send Ayame flying on her ass, covering her face, cupping the blood. _For fuck's sake_.

Kagome felt a rush she had never experienced before; her blood was pumping, her hand was throbbing - mostly from the hardness of Ayame's face - and she could feel the built up of sweat in the back of her neck. _She had actually hit her_.

"Kagome?"

Kouga's voice cut the tension and it made her heart stop for a moment. Kouga was here. Where had he been earlier, where had he been when Ayame was trying to tear apart who they were and what they had?

But his voice did bring her back to reason. For the first time since Ayame's provocation, her aura began to die down. She kept her eyes locked on the girl on the ground but she still felt Kouga walking around her. She did not stiffen as he put his hands on her shoulders, his touch warm but firm.

He had felt it from afar; the rush of power that came from her. He had been talking but he ran to her as fast as he could. He had reached the scene prior to the punch but he had been forced to stay by the sidelines. He did not know if Kagome was aware, but her power was strong - it had almost shielded him away from her. He had wanted to cross, to reach out to her regardless but what if he had received an injury - even a small one? He knew how Kagome was; she would have never forgiven herself and he could not let her carry such a useless guilt around.

Now his only problem was with Ayame.

He had told her. He had made it clear that there was no one but Kagome - and yet she kept pushing the Miko until - well until now.

Kagome had every right to lose her cool; Ayame had provoked her since her arrival. The one problem in the story was that he could not figure out why Ayame was doing it. She had not hit on him in years, she had not tried to be with him in centuries, and - and he thought they had developed a friendship over the years. He thought the past was behind and that they were remnants of a time that no longer existed. Instead, she chose to ruin it by starting a fight with Kagome. It was senseless. It was not the Ayame he had gotten used to, the one he had called a friend over the centuries. Something was not adding up.

"Are you okay?" he whispered in Kagome's ears.

She nodded but she was nearly deaf from the blood pumping through her at a fast velocity. There was a hint of guilt in her chest - she never like to hurt anyone, but she was mostly rage and anger. Ayame had yet to get up, but Kagome never looked away from her. She was aware that Ayame had a temper - at least she did in the past - and she did not think she could hit her and receive no repercussions. Although to be fair, she had every intention of staying clear of the redhead - she was the one who kept coming after her.

And she was protective lately, and angry - and fuck it, almost a little possessive. None of theses were traits she used to have. Protective yes - possessive no. It was not in her personality to be like that. And yet she could hardly stop herself from defending what was hers. It was a need floating through her veins, calling out to her and telling her to stand her ground. And she listened to it because it felt good to do so. She felt as though she was acting more on instincts than before. Even when it came to her powers. Yes, she had used them before without meaning to actually do so but in each situation her life had been in danger, or something had been happening.

Now, her life had not been in danger. Yes, Ayame had pissed her off but it was not as though she had attacked her physically or that there was a threat to her safety. Everything was fine. Everything was safe. And yet, she had unleashed them like she had to take down a dangerous youkai. Why were they so quick to rise to the surface?

"Kagome?" Kouga repeated. He knew she nodded but she had yet to speak actually words to him and it worried him. He lowered his hands until he was holding her arms and he pressed his chest into her back. His nose was buried in the crook of her neck and though she was not youkai, he hoped that those gestures would help her calm down. She had been there for him when he had needed to regain his control and he was going to do the same for her. Although he could not wait until her aura was completely gone; that shit was starting to fucking burn.

She exhaled deeply, her nostrils flaring and she popped her lips again. "I'm okay." And now came the hard part; she would have to explain herself. Actually, she would have to defend herself. No, wait. She would not. Because Kouga would believe her and Kouga would know that she was not the one who started this whole fight. She had already talked to him about it. He would believe her over Ayame. He had to - or else…

Or else what?

"She started it," she finally spat out. She sounded like a little girl who was spilling secrets.

Her words finally caused Ayame to slowly scramble to her feet while still holding her face - that was actually going to leave a scar. She did not think she would get sucker punch like that. She also assumed Kouga would have shown up a lot sooner than he actually did. So she miscalculated a little. At least Kagome had done what she was supposed to do; she finally fought for Kouga. Although, she was expecting a bit more than this but now - it was too late to push her further. If Kouga was there, he would keep her calm. And he might end up the one actually kicking _her_ butt and she was not in the mood for it. Her pack was staying with his after all.

Although that was per his request. They had not demanded that.

But they did have a friendship she valued.

Could he not see that she had done this for him? Kagome was human, she was not like them. She could not think and feel the way they did. She would always be somewhat of an outcast. Plus, Kagome's feelings had been quite flaky in the past - with her being in love with someone else and all - and it was her duty to verify that Kouga went to someone who actually deserved him. If she had not been willing to fight for him, she would not deserve him. Ayame had resigned herself to the fact that he might never want her but that did not mean she wanted him to end up with just about anybody. He was someone quite precious to her and she would be damned if some bitch just got _him_.

When he had been promised to her so long ago.

Sometimes, she did not think everything through, and she did do certain things on the whim of the moment. But this she did because he was her friend. Kagome was nothing or no one to him.

"What the fuck Ayame?"

All the years, all that time building a friendship, and this happened. Originally, he had not even planned on wasting time with her but she had shown him another side of her personality and he thought this could work. Apparently he had been wrong.

"What? You know how we work," she said with a shrug as she wiped some blood dripping from her nose. "She doesn't know, but you know. I have to make sure she deserves you."

She had to make sure that Kagome deserved him? Who the fuck was she kidding? He was the one who did not even deserve someone like her. He was the useless one who should not even be in her presence. He had put her through a lot since they had begun dating but this was a bit too much. He wished he could say it was just a crazy ex but he had not even gotten close to ever going out with Ayame. She was just plain crazy.

"I don't deserve her," he corrected. "And apparently _you_ know nothing about pack's dynamics." If she wanted to go down that road, if she wanted to make Kagome feel like she did not belong, then he could play that game as well. She was not being sneaky. "Kagome's my intended." He tried to keep a straight face as he did not know still how Kagome fully felt about it, but he needed that information for his argument. "You provoked her into _my_ den." He caressed Kagome's shoulder for a moment, both to calm her and to calm himself, before he released his hold on her. He walked closer to Ayame, challenge shining in his eyes. "I'm the alpha. You've disrespected me."

Her eyebrows furrowed and for a moment, she tried to see the deceit in his face; there was not any. "Kouga, it's me."

"I don't care." He had tried to be respectful, he had tried to solve this matter very civilly but she had decided that she wanted to take the hard road. Kagome had already shared her fears and concerns with him and he did not want her to feel as though she was being overlooked. It had taken too much to get her for him to lose her over Ayame and her twisted mind.

"What?"

Kouga had a temper as well and she knew he was very devoted to Kagome. After all, despite the years that went by he never forgot about that girl. That had to mean that he was quite attached to her. Of course, back then he thought she was dead and his love was more like a remembrance of who he thought she was than her actually. Regardless, now that he had found her, he would not let her go - ever. Which is why she had set her sight on Kagome. To make sure she deserved the undying love Kouga had for her. And now, instead, of seeing the bigger picture he was bringing up some old pack rule? According to those, his bedding of Kagome was - frowned upon.

And she had not brought that up.

"You heard me, get the fuck out."

"Centuries of friendship, and you ain't gonna hear me out?"

"There's nothing to discuss, so no."

"Yes, there is. She ain't one of us. You've loved that fucking girl forever," she defended. "I wasn't about to stand around and wait to see if she was going to break your heart." Ayame huffed and put her hands on her hips, leaning forward as to look intimidating. "You're my friend, and I'm making sure she knows everything she's getting into. And I'll be damned if I don't check that she actually wants you."

"If Kagome doesn't want me, if she ain't in, it doesn't concern you," he warned, his fangs poking from beneath his lips.

"Like fuck it don't concern me. I didn't give you up for her to break your heart."

He chuckled - although there was no joy or light in the tone of his chuckle. It was dark. She had never brought up the idea of them being a couple in a very long time. And now, she was spurting out shit like this? He did not think so. "To give someone up, you gotta have them." He did not know if it was the hit from Kagome, but she was beginning to make less and less sense and he had no patience for it.

Kagome's anger was hammering him in the back of the head and this fight was going against everything he was trying to set up for the two of them. She had just told him that she loved him and now everything was out of whack. How could he make her believe that this was her home as well when she was getting attacked, provoked and threatened left and right? He wanted this to be a safe place for her, somewhere to run to if she needed it. He did not want her associated him with pain and fights.

Ayame was the last straw.

"I told you, get the fuck out."

"I'm not leaving, you invited us in, you'll take away your invitation?"

He should not. He should not be mixing his packs dynamics with his personal life but they were already intertwined. Kagome was a part of who he was and he knew this was going to work. If they were going to stay together and eventually mate one day, her opinion would be requested during pack matters. What she wanted or did not want, would be taken into consideration. It was not that wrong to begin the process already. She was accidentally his intended and it would be okay for him to respect her and to include her in the decision he was about to make. The only problem was that Ayame was bringing up an important point. He offered shelter to this pack and now he was about to take away that invitation.

It would reflect badly on him, it would reflect badly on all the pack. It was not a decision he should be making by himself without seeking their approval first. He was not the type of leader who decided everything for everyone without caring. They lived with him and what they wanted or did not want was important to him.

There was always one more thing he could try before traveling down that road. "I only told _you_ to get out."

Ayame scoffed. "You know we don't work like that. They ain't gonna stay if you make me go. Where would I go?" He was hesitant about asking her to leave, and yet she did not miss the glare the little miko was sending her. This could be salvaged, this could be fixed. She understood that he had left a meaningless mark on that girl's neck but to send her away? What happened to calm discussions?

"You're a big girl, you've proved it."

Kagome's aura had completely died down because now the feeling of guilt inside of her had actually grown. Although it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she had punched Ayame in the face. It was mostly because there was once again trouble in the pack - and it had begun with her. It was the same thing with Izu, it was the same thing with everything. Ayame did have a point, she was not a wolf and she did not quite belong in there. Her presence seemed to arose a bunch of conflicts and she was putting Kouga in situations he should not find himself in. It was taking everything she had to not join him by his side and tell him to change his mind.

She did not want Ayame around. She did not know who that bitch thought she was, getting involved in relationship matters that hardly concerned her, but she also did not want Kouga to put himself against the others. She knew they were not that many wolves left and she did not want him to ruin friendships and pack links because she had gotten in a fight with Ayame. It was not fair for him to give up what and who he was because she was human. She needed him to keep on being who he was.

"I agree with Kouga."

The voice came from behind them and they all turned to see Ginta moving forward. Kagome might not know all the wolves' emotions but he knew what Kouga was feeling at the moment. He was uncertain and he was doing his damn best to not make any rash decisions. He was trying to think of the whole pack. The one part he was apparently ignoring though was the fact that there were very few people in the pack that did not consider Kagome to be one of them. Nobody disrespected her, nobody disliked her, but not _all_ of them yet though that she fully belonged to the pack. Regardless, they would never forget when she stood for them and they would do the same for her.

Kouga was in love with her and if he had his way, she would be his forever. There was no reason for any of them to turn their back on Kagome. If Kouga wanted to take the decision to kick everyone out, they would support him. After all, inviting them over had been nothing more than a safety measure to prevent them from doing stupidities. Yes, they might still be reckless but - if they were to spread discord like this among the pack then it was not worth it to have them around. It was better if there was peace.

"So am I," spoke Haru while stepping forward.

Kagome felt a warmth spread inside of her. Everyone wanted her there. She was there, sulking over all the trouble she was causing for Kouga and none of them thought of even hesitating before coming to her defence. She dared to raise her glance and she made eye contact with the wolf girls that had been so enthusiastic about her kicking Ayame's butt. They had brought up the fact that she was different - a fact that Ayame seemed to strongly believe in. Sometimes they were her friends, sometimes they were pushy and other times it was quite blurry. It was time to find out what they really were.

It took a moment, but they ended up nodding their heads. They supported Kouga.

They much preferred Kagome over Ayame. Although, Kagome still had a few things she needed to learn but - it was no reason to not pick her. They had never thought this little fight would go like this. They knew how protective of her Kouga was but - this was a whole new level. He was willing to let a pack go to keep her _safe_. He was picking her above almost everything else.

And the pack? The pack was supporting her, so they would as well.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Ayame said with a laugh. This was her, being a good friend. She was trying to make sure Kouga would not get his heart broken and all of it was being blown out of proportion. Were they forgetting that Kagome did not have a scratch while she had gotten her nose punched out? She was the one bleeding, she was the one who needed the attention.

His claws were itching at his fingertips and his fangs had finally managed to pierce the sensitive membrane of his lips. She had challenged Kagome and now she was challenging his authority and he liked neither. Even if the pack did back him, he had to be careful. If he kicked her out to violently, it might have repercussions that nobody wanted to deal with, despite their approval of Kagome and him. He bounced from one foot to the other, his weight slowly shifting from left to right. The best way for him to keep his control was to get out.

"Be gone before I get back," he warned.

She looked at him, stunned and slightly confused about his words, but he did not care. He turned around, grabbed Kagome's hand and dragged her with him.

And nobody stopped them.

-U-

The car ride had been quite silent. Kouga had been driving somewhere, and though she did not ask where, she had a feeling they were about to find themselves in the middle of a forest. He was clutching the steering wheel tightly enough to make the fabric squeak and she was surprised it was not given up under the sheer amount of pressure he was applying upon it. She knew he was not mad at her but he was absolutely raging. His eyes were darting all over the place and she swore, if she looked at them at the right angle, she could see a glimpse of red shining in them.

"I'm sorry," he finally said.

"What?"

"You told me about her. Shoulda listened." If it was not for the fact that he had to keep applying pressure on the gas pedal, he would be tapping his foot. He was so fucking mad.

"I shouldn't have hit her." She paused. "I'm really not sorry I did it though." That bitch provoked her and she had deserved it. "Sorry about the fight."

He shook his head. "They are the guests, they owed us respect. She disrespected you. They know. They're supposed to know. That's how this shit works."

Kagome was well aware that Kouga could have a colorful language but it was the first time he had let so many words slip him in such a short amount of time. She was afraid to ask questions that might make him more angry and so decided it was best to follow the flow of the conversation that he was setting up for them.

"I needed to get out, or I would have tossed her out."

"It's fine."

"No it ain't." Because he felt like shit, because she found herself right in the bull's eye again. And he did not fucking want that for her. He had already accepted a long time ago that his life was going to be complicated because of all the changes but he did not want _her_ life to be complicated.

He wanted it to be simple, he wanted her to be happy.

Finally, he caught sight of some trees and he slowed down the car. "It can't be fine," he said as he slowly parked the car.

Kagome sighed as she turned to look at him. "Kouga, you live in a pack, it'll be messy. Although, I always seem to be the one messing it up."

She did not mean to admit to that quite now, not after everything, but the words had slipped her.

His glance changed, his features hardened and he was quick to unbuckle his seatbelt. "Kagome, you could never be the problem."

"It's because I'm human."

"I don't give a shit. There would be problem no matter what and Ayame would have been a cunt no matter who I woulda picked." He winced. "Shit, sorry."

This time, she was forced to laugh. "It's fine." He was really _pissed_ off.

He ran his fingers through his bangs before leaning into his seat. He moved it backwards, leaving him more room to stretch his legs. "I'm just on edge."

"So am I - I've - I've been a little angrier lately. A little more - " God, could she admit to that without blushing? "Possessive?"

Oh.

Oh.

He did not think of that.

"My bad."

"What?"

"If you were _just_ human…" He sighed again but kept his eyes closed. "My youki - it got into - your powers a little when - I - when I marked you. We wolves tend to be more possessive." He did not think it would affect her or that if it did, it would barley last a day. It would explain the sudden surge of power. Actually, it was the only thing that could explain Kagome being this aggressive. Not that he minded her being possessive of him. It was actually quite a turn on.

Oh. Well, that explained a lot. She groaned. "Does it last long?"

"Why? Don't like punching girls away from me?" he teased. There was nothing funny about the situation but he could not resist.

She teasingly glared at him. "I like being in control of myself."

She had told him she loved him and now they were more connected than ever - at least for the time being. She wondered if she would get some of his traits, or more impulses if they were ever to get mated? Perhaps now was not the right time to ask, but one day. Instead, she undid her own seatbelt and scooted closer to him. She thought she might just lean into him but Kouga had other ideas. As soon as he felt her hair tickle his skin, he reached in for a kiss. She was the only thing that could calm him, the only thing that reminded him that _he needed_ to be better. He needed to be everything for her.

He let his tongue swipe across the seam of her lips and she immediately granted him entrance. He groaned against her lips, finally allowing the tension to leave his body. He awkwardly wrapped one arm around her and she let him. At this point she had to shift in her seat to bring her body closer to his. His hand was palming at her back and he was dying to feel her soft skin beneath his fingers. He could already feel all of his blood rushing downwards and he was suddenly made very aware that it had been a long time since he had plunged his cock in her wet cunt.

"They better be gone when we get back," he whispered against her lips.

"Why?"

"Because I'm gonna kick _my pack out._ "

She pulled away slightly and arched an eyebrow. Had she suddenly missed something? The whole pack had been behind them and had encouraged them. Why did he suddenly went them out?

He teasingly allowed his fingers to swipe under her shirt, his fingertips brushing across the skin of her back. "I'm gonna go tell them to take a walk." He moved his fingers higher, sneaking them past her waist and taking her breathe away with each movements he made. "Then, I'm gonna tell them, they better not come back for a while."

"W-why?"

His fingers were right there, right at the edge of her bra. She knew he would dare. And he did. He slipped his fingers through, and cupped as much of her breast as he could, his fingers flickering across her nipple. She shivered beneath him, her back arching as her arousal spread through her.

"And then I'm gonna fuck you."

Maybe she did not mind if he used a more crude language every now and then.

Wetness spread through her and she prayed to god he was going to go through with that promise.

-U-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it help if I say that smut is coming in the next chapter?


	27. Back to the Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I was away for the weekend :)

"I have a feeling you're not going to _fuck_ me," she whispered as the house came back into view. The grass was completely void of any life.

All he could do was groan.

His life had to be fucking complicated all the fucking time. How could he could not even catch the slightest break? There were a lot less cars than when they left and he knew what that meant; Ayame's pack had decided to leave. He had expected _her_ to be gone because his warning had been pretty fucking clear but he did not think so many would follow her. He knew pack came with loyalty but Ayame could be a little much to handle at times - as she had so wonderfully proven by provoking Kagome over and over again. _Fuck_. Now they were out and about - and he had no control over them. He could only hope Ayame's rage would not make her too reckless.

At least they were less people in the house.

"They packed their things like - right after you left," Ginta said as he hopped outside. He had heard the car from miles away - and he knew Kouga would not be too pleased. They had all kicked Ayame out but they had all hoped so might stay behind. Plus, they did enjoy the company of others, and the moment was cut short.

But they all rather have Kagome be safe within the pack than to have people that were strangers. It was an easy decision.

Kouga ran his fingers through his bangs and sighed. "Well, good riddance."

Ginta grinned. "I didn't think Ayame would turn out to be such a problem."

They were not as oblivious to Ayame as Kouga had been. He had spent his whole life so in love with Kagome, that he felt to notice the feelings and declarations from other females. Ayame had not been as forward as she had been in the past, but there were a few hints here and there that she harbored feelings for Kouga and that it was not about to go away. Of course, he could see how, deep down, it had not been all about Kagome, but about Kouga having someone good but her methods were lacking. It was no way to treat someone and she did not have the authority to decided _who_ was best for Kouga. Only he could make that decision.

And Kagome was great for the pack and they all loved her.

Meanwhile, Kagome's body was still tingling from promises made to her. She knew the situation was more complicated than he anticipated and she did not want to put pressure on him. Perhaps he could no longer do what he had set out to do. Did he expect them all to leave? She did feel guilt nestling inside of her. After all, they only left because of her. She knew the whole pack stood behind her and had her back but it did not mean that she was happy about the whole situation. Although she was glad Ayame listened to Kouga's warning and left. She was not sure she could tolerate that bitch's face anymore. She did not enjoy being judged and being put down.

She was already difficult enough on herself and it took her a while to get to where she was. She did not need anybody taking away all the efforts and energy she had put into herself and into her relationship with Kouga. She was finding happiness again and she did not intend on losing it.

"Alright," Kouga said as he craddled the back of his head with his palm. "Ya'll need to get out."

Ginta arched an eyebrow. "What?" What in the world did this have to do with Ayame and her pack leaving?

He had made a promise to Kagome and after everything that happened he intended on keeping it. He would deal with everything else later - he himself did not have the patience to deal with it all right now. He was worked up and he wanted nothing more than to bury himself deep inside of her like he had been dying to do for a while now. Everything else could be put on hold.

"Yea, you and everyone in the house are gonna take a long walk."

"A long walk?"

His eyes shifted from Kouga to Kagome and then back to Kouga. For a second, he let himself smell the air and then - he busted out laughing. "Oh, you guys wanna have sex!"

And at that moment, Kagome wished she could have died. She wanted to melt into a puddle and disappear from sight forever. _God_ , she did not know if she would ever get used to the bluntness of the pack. She did not mind it but - she did not think she would ever be at ease with it. Then again, perhaps Kouga could have been a little more subtle but she did not think Ginta would have gotten it. He had to be direct if he wanted to get his way. _Except now_ , her face was red and her cheeks were burning. _Talk about ruining the mood_.

Ginta bent over in two, holding his stomach even though he could feel Kouga's rage rising. He had to laugh though; his pack leader was asking for privacy so that he could fuck his girlfriend. He might have been more crude about it but he did not want to embarrass Kagome anymore than she already was.

"Alright, alright," he said as he saw Kouga's fangs poking through his lips. "I'll round up the boys," he said with a last chuckle. "Maybe we'll go see where Ayame's pack settled. To keep an eye on them." He knew the whole pack would guess why they were all leaving but it might be a little better for Kagome's ego and shame if he made up an actual thing to go with it. A believable reason.

"Good idea." He did not even think about that. He was only focused on one thing.

 _Fucking Kagome_.

-U-

A door slammed violently and before she could even blinked she was being tossed upon the bed. The air was knocked out of her lungs as he laid her down on the bed, nestling himself between her legs. It had been a stressful week and it had been a while since he had been able to properly touch every inch of her skin. His protective instincts had been kicked into overdrive when she had her fight with Ayame, and well - she had defended him and their relationship. That helped the arousal quite a bit. Especially since the intended mark on her neck had yet to fade away. And he had referred to her as such many times and she had never corrected him. Not even once.

Her hands snaked around his waist and slid under his shirt as she let her fingers roam free along the length of his back. She felt every ripple, every muscle, as he lowered himself to her mouth. He captured her lips with his and gripped at her ass. He shifted her position, pressing his erection against her already wet core, and helped wrap her legs around his waist. If he could, he would push himself right through her awaiting entrance and fuck her until she was screaming his name. _Control_ had to be the key. Except, that was something he was finding himself do less and less around her. He was slowly letting more of himself show, more of his youkai side - and she hardly seemed to mind.

His lips tasted her, nibbling and tugging when he could before he decided he wanted to taste more. He tore his mouth from hers and lowered his touch to her neck. He nibbled at the skin, leaving a trail of teeth, until he reached her breasts. He cupped them through the fabric of her shirt, pushing them together, nearly plopping them out of their prison. _And then he paused_. Because he had to consider his actions for a moment. But fuck it, she had more shirts right? He gripped the fabric, right where her breasts met, and he ripped it apart. It snapped against her skin for a brief second and then, the pain was gone. He tore the fabric further until all he could see was her black bra and her pale skin.

Kouga could be sweet, Kouga could hasty or he could be - something else entirely. Apparently, the wait had been nagging at him and he was not taking any chances. She could not say that she blamed him. She did not know how long all the pack was going to be gone and she would rather not have them be present for this. Privacy was much better. It would allow to solely focus on him. _And if he was going to get her naked_ … she was going to do the same. Minus the shirt ripping. She did not quite think she had the strength for _that_. She grabbed the hem of his shirt and slowly began to inch it up. She revealed tan skin, ripped abs and she unconsciously arched her back in an effort to bring her body closer to his.

His skillful fingers worked their magic, slowly sliding beneath her heated flesh until he found the clasp of her bra. Her tugged on it, freeing her breasts with one motion. He ripped away what was left of her shirt and then slid her arms out of her bra. Her breasts were bare to his eyes and he hurried to latch on to one of her nipples. She moaned, her hands gripping at his hair and tugging at it in an effort to bring him even closer - if that was possible. Her legs were tightly wrapped around his waist, as she dry humped him through the clothes. More friction, more sensations. And it was not enough. He began thrusting his hips back against her movement and then, he was the one groaning against her breast.

He could feel claws prickling at his fingertips but he held it back. Instead, he let his fangs nibble the skin around her nipple, nearly breaking the skin.

"It's fine," she whispered as she finally released his hair from her grip. Instead, she let her fingers wander until she was holding his shoulders, her thumb pressing against the skin. "It's okay."

She had felt his fangs before, but he seemed hesitant. She could bleed easier than he could but it did not mean she was completely breakable. She was strong enough for him and she refused to let Ayame's words get to her. She knew he was different than her but it did not mean it could not work. Already, if he stopped holding back, it would help them progress in the right direction. If he could not get there by himself, then she would have to encourage him. He had to trust her and to trust them just as much as she did. And if he did not learn to ask, she would never know that something was missing.

He let his fangs graze the skin, uncertainty following his every movements. He wanted her to be sure she knew what she was asking. Did she understand what it meant for him to let himself go? Because last time he let his control slip him, she ended up with an intended mark on her neck. He was not quite sure she wanted to repeat the experience. He would do. But, he felt the slight anger that was laying beneath the arousal - and he wanted to take it away. If that meant listening to her every order, he would gladly do it. And he let himself go. He sunk his teeth in her breast and waited while blood surged to the surface. He lapped at the metallic tasting liquid while she seemed to stiffen beneath him for a brief second.

And then, she relaxed.

The initial feeling took her by surprise but once that dissipated, a weird pleasurable pain spread through her right breast. It was _good_.

"Again."

His ears perked up when she spoke; he had to have imagined it because there was no way she was telling him to do it again. He could taste her blood in his mouth and he thought he had made a mistake but - but she wanted more. He almost lifted his gaze to meet her eyes to confirm that he had heard right but he decided against it. Instead, he went for it again. A nibble on her breast, a nibble on the space between her breasts and one on her stomach. He did not quite break the skin again but blood rose to the surface, coloring her pale skin. Each time he nibbled she twisted and pressed her hot, warm body against him. He was doing _something right_.

She let one of her hands slid down until it reached his crotch and she squeezed the erection he had been hiding in his pants. She let her fingers trace the bugle in his pants and she felt him hold his breath, his mouth hovering over her navel. She let her fingers gently grab the zipper and she carefully lowered it over his cock. He hissed at the sensation, and he was dying to wrap his fingers around her wrist to stop her. It had been a while and the sensation was nearly overwhelming. He wanted to plunge himself inside of her, assert the fact that she belonged to him and prove that this could work.

He almost wished they were all downstairs so they could hear him claim her over and over again. He wanted them to know she was his and he was hers.

Cold air wrapped around his erect cock and he threw his head backwards. _If she wanted to play dirty_. Her small hand was slowly pumping him, surging even more blood downwards. Every time, she got more and more skilled and he could tell he was about to be in real trouble soon. She was pumping at the right speed to tease him, drawing out the sensations while make him pant for more. He could play that game too. He grabbed the edge of her pants and in one skillful motion, he got them past her ass, freeing the bouncy mounds. He regretfully moved her legs away from his waist, tugging them past her ankles. He discarded them on the floor and nestled himself back between her long legs.

Except this time, most of the barrier was gone.

Soft skin was everywhere as he wasted no time in snaking a finger inside of her blue underwear. Now that he had freed his dick from her fingers, he had the power. She gasped as he inserted one finger inside of her and he was forced to groan as he felt the wetness that awaited him. She was already ready for his cock. All he would have to do was push the fabric to the side and he could take her. _But he had to resist_ the urge. Instead, he would tease her, drag out the sensations for _her_. He inserted another digit in her awaiting cunt and he watched as she buckled beneath him. Her pink lips were parted, her head thrown back while he pumped his fingers in and out of her.

He nestled his face in his familiar spot; the crook of her neck. He let his nose brush up the sensitive flesh before diving in with his fangs. He sunk them in the side of her throat, being mindful of her sensitive pain tolerance. As soon as blood flooded his mouth, he pulled away. He lapped at it, sending tingles through her nerve endings and she bit her own bottom lip. _He would wreck_ her if he wanted to - he could take her whole and she might just be helpless to stop him. _But she did not want to stop him_. There was something about his more animalistic side that send her skin burning - she wanted more of it. If only he stopped pulling his body away.

Kouga curled his fingers inside of her, watching her squirm. She moaned, she licked her lips and he felt like becoming her whole world. "Tell me," he huskily whispered near her ear, tickling her.

"Tell you what?" Her eyes were closed, her head was beginning to swirl from the sensations his skillful fingers were inflicting upon her body. She was grinding back against his fingers, hoping to push him further in. _She just needed something that was a little more - just a little more_.

She had defended their honor, she had defended their relationship. He knew she was human and that times had changed but he was at his very core, an alpha. He was the one in charge, the one who protected, defended and fought. She had taken up some of his roles - and though it sent desires spiralling through him, he did want to regain some of his duties. Kagome could handle herself without him and now he wanted her to need him, he wanted her to _want_ him.

His tongue darted out and he lapped at the length of her ear, feeling the goosebumps on her skin as he did so. He growled and then nibbled at her. " _What you want_."

It was not longer a question - it sounded like an order.

She shivered.

He had taken his body far from hers, forcing her to endure his tortuous touch. It did not mean that she could no longer tease him; he had just given her a weapon. "No."

Her tone was as harsh as his and if he had not been wanting to fuck her so much, he might have chuckled. But, she was playing the same game as he was. Except, she failed to take into consideration that he was way better at it than she was. He let his free hand travel upwards and he wrapped his fingers around her wrists. He lifted her arms above her head effortlessly, and then, increased the pace of his fingers. He could feel her juices leaking out of her and he was dying to plunge his fingers inside of his mouth; he wanted to taste her. He growled at his growing frustration and tightened his hold on her wrists.

 _He was about to gamble_.

He removed his fingers and then, steadied her with his free hand. He could already feel her thrusting into the empty air, seeking the missing sensation. He positioned himself at her entrance, her juices coating the tip of his erection. He mustered all of his self control and went no further than the tip. He twirled his hips, teasing her as the head of his cock swirled inside of her. It was enough to bring him to the brink of insanity but he hoped she would crack under the pressure before he would. He slowly inched himself inside, never too much and then pulled out. And then he heard it; her groan of frustration.

Really, she meant to stay quiet. She had pinched her lips so hard together that they had turned white. But it had not stopped the frustration from rising out of her. Before she could even stop it, it had been too late. But it did not mean he had won; she had not begged. She would be lying if she said she was not close to it. She wanted him to fill her, to stretch her. She wanted to slam herself down on him and keep him lock inside. Her legs were quivering in anticipation and she began to feel shortness of breath. _He was playing her and she was letting it work_. If she was going down, then he was coming with her. He was busy holding her waist, he was busy pinning her arms but he was not doing anything to her legs.

She wrapped them around him tightly and used all the strength she had to keep him in place. She slowly dragged herself closer to him until half of him was filling her. In all honestly, he probably had the strength to pull himself away from her but he was not using it. Probably because this was torturing him just as much as it was torturing her. She began forming circle with her hips, slowly trapping his cock into a hell of wetness and tightness. He hissed, his grip on her wrists lessening as he focused himself on _not_ plunging deep inside her awaiting cunt. It did not see this backfiring like this but he should have seen it coming.

At that point, her whole focus was on holding him back and not on stopping sweet sounds from escaping her mouth. She was moaning, groaning, dying for more - but she was never begging. She would endure the torture. She could endure him and whatever he had to throw at her. She could take it. She was human and she could take him and there was nothing wrong with them. There was pulsing coming from her body where he had sunk his teeth and it was making her throb. She had been so new when they had begun and now, every time he took her, she gained confidence. In herself, in them and in what she could handle.

She could handle him.

Her toes were shaking from squeezing so hard, but he remained where he was.

He knew one of them would have to give.

And he decided to be the one.

He knocked the air out of her as he shoved himself deep inside of her, her legs slipping from his waist. He had given her this win. He wrapped his arms around her legs, keeping them straight and close to her head and then, he used them, held them, to give himself his tempo. He was sliding in and out of her wet cunt with a quick page, watching her breasts bounce with every thrust. She moaned while a smile of triumph was painted upon her lips. Her hands clawed at his chest, the sensations overwhelming her as she squeezed around his cock, the release building up inside of her. She was not very good with the teasing.

He was already close but it was only because she had pushed him to the edge. But it did not matter.

 _He could lose to her_.

-U-

Hours had passed, wolves had returned but it had not disturbed their little world. Kagome's body was tangled with his as they remained naked under the sheets. He knew the pack knew better than to come barging in - at least, they would not if they wanted to keep their heads attached to their bodies. Her head was shielded by his and his arms were wrapped around her waist, holding her close to him for protection.

"What's going to happen?"

"What do ya mean?"

"With Ayame's pack."

He shrugged. "It ain't like they're gonna do a bunch of stupid shit. They don't want people looking at them too closely." They could not take revenge like they used to and they could not shut up humans like they used to - keeping them close had mostly been for security measures. He slept better knowing where they were. But it was not like they were going to go and eat half of the town. "It'll be fine."

"I hope so."

She needed to know more than she did. She needed to know what she was supposed to do. If they were going to work out, she would have a place in the pack and she could not always be left out, unsure of how to proceed.

"I don't mind it."

"What?"

"I don't mind the mark."

She had been called his intended more than once and - and she had even used it to leverage the fact that she did belong with Kouga. How could she deny it after all that? "I mean, I'm not ready to be mated anytime soon." Just like she was not ready to get married anytime soon. "But I don't mind it."

It was a good compromise. Everyone had made her clearly understand that wolves mated for life and when they knew they knew. They did not simply move from one person to another. It was shown by the way Ayame still harbored feelings for Kouga. She had chosen him to be her one and she was having a hard time letting go of the illusion. She was human and she did not have that need to mark someone as hers. It did not mean Kouga represented nothing for her; he was everything. Because she could not understand, the least she could do was be supportive of what he needed. Of course, if he told her what he needed it would make her life a whole lot easier.

"So you want me to _re-new it_?" He almost did not ask. It was not a permanent mark and he knew she had not been that upset about it but he thought that they had agreed it would simply fade away and it would be the end of that. He never expected her to ask him to - keep it. Of course, he would never be against that. He might have done it in the heat of the moment but it did not mean he did not mean it.

"I don't mind." This time there was a slight blush on her cheeks but he could not see it.

"Is this about Ayame?" he knew he was probably screwing this all up by asking but he had to ask. He did not want her to do anything she did not feel comfortable doing. "You ain't gotta prove nothing, Kagome." She was his and he was hers. And he did not care if there was a mark on her neck or not - it did not lessen what they had. Everyone could go fuck themselves. The pack supported her and in the end, it was the only thing that mattered. He did not care what another pack thought of her and of them. His pack fucking loved her.

"No." She had planted the seed but then again, so had the other girls a long time ago. It had simply taken this cataclysm for her to actually think it all through. "I want to be a part of this. I can't be what a youkai would be but -" But she could do her part. "I want you to be able to do things you want to do. I want you to be who you are." It was why she had let him bite her so much. He had nibbled before, he had grazed his teeth but it had never been this much. She was certain she would have a few bruises tomorrow and she could not care less. She had enjoyed every second of it and she would do it again if he was willing.

"But to do that, you have to tell me."

He was so scared of losing her, so scared that she might run away - that he preferred holding back. He knew what he was before and how reckless he was. He went for it even when she was uncomfortable with it. He could not risk losing her now that he had her. Keeping himself in check seemed like a good way to slowly build their relationship. Although, letting out his more primal side, letting himself do as he felt; it felt good. It felt natural. At some point, he had even stopped thinking about what she might think and he had gone with it. He had let himself be who he was. He was rough with everyone else, he had been violent, he had been out of control…

But not with her.

He always had the safety on. It was good sometimes. She was after all human and a lot more breakable than she was but - she had shown that she could handle her own and that she did not need him protecting her. Maybe his past mistakes were hunting him a bit too much. And he did want to let go. But he did not know how.

"I'll try." It was the best answer he could give her.

She pulled her face away from his chest and she started into his eyes. "Kouga, I can handle it." She did not want him to shelter him from the world - from his world. "Whatever, you need. I want you to ask me, I want you to tell me." She grabbed his chin with her hand, forcing his head down. "If you can't talk to me, what's the point?"

She had been more open than before - she had even reached out for him when she needed him. She had rely on him more than she had wanted to let herself. And he had been there for her every time. Whatever it was that he needed from her, she wanted to be there and she wanted to support it. She needed to shape her life, she needed to find where she was heading and - and he probably had goals as well. She wanted them to be able to be together and to be their own person as well. She had insecurities to let go of, and it would happen over time. She would not be ready to be herself now. But, if she had to worry about them, about him - then neither of them would be able to grow.

"I will." Fuck, now she had made him feel guilty. "Kagome, I ain't keeping anything from you."

She smiled. "I know." He was not lying, he was not keeping secrets. He was simply restricting who he was. "I just want you to be who you are. And I'm okay with it."

He nodded. There was nobody more accepting and loving than her. He knew that already. "I love you." And now that was something he could say without feeling shame or without risking losing her.

"I love you too."

She could shut it all out; the noises coming from the way too packed house, the insecurities, the annoyingness that was Ayame. It appeared that since they begun dating, they were unable to even catch a break. It was one thing after the other and no matter how many steps forward they took, life threw them ten steps backwards. She did not want anything to ruin this moment. She wanted them to be well, and she wanted this to work. She needed this to work. She could not be anything that she was not and he could not be anything that he was not.

They had to learn how to be together while being themselves.

He had many years on her and a lot of experience but maybe, just maybe he had given up. She thought she had as well. She thought she was done expecting things out of life. Maybe she had been wrong. Life still had a lot left for her - she just had to figure out what it was.

The moment was broken when there was a knock on the door.

"Oh for fuck's sake."

He was sure nobody was stupid enough to try and come in while Kagome was naked. They were not stupid and they all had an excellent noise; they knew what had happened and they could tell that the moment was not over. He was about to rip someone's head off.

"Hey, I know y'all naked in there, so I'm not gonna come in." Although Ginta had not been able to stop himself from teasing them, he knew better than to gamble his life away. He was not about to open that door. Under any circumstances. "I just thought I would pop by and let you know you know that Izu is here."

"Izu?"

 _And the perfect moment was done_.

-U-


	28. Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many reads, many reviews, many years. Many things happened. Thank you all so much for your support. I am very sad to announce this is the last chapter of Unforeseen. Yes, it has come to an end. It felt like I had told the story I needed to tell.
> 
> Plus, I have other KougaKag fic in the making. For those who follow my tumblr (maddieson-san), I've posted drafts/WIP of a NeighbourAU, and an OlderKouga!YoungerKagome stories. I was waiting to wrap up a few more stories before launching them. So this is not the end. And Enamored is still going on. So there's that.
> 
> So, I hope you enjoy the last chapter, and I hope I will see you all (reviewers and readers) in my other Kougakag :)

Silence.

It was never something she was good at and it did not help when the situation was awkward and uncomfortable. She sat there, her legs crossed and her hands resting on her thighs and she waited. She could not be the first to speak, especially not considering everything that had happened. Plus, she could _feel_ Kouga's eyes on them and it was doing nothing to ease up the situation. However, she could hardly blame him for being angry. Plus, he was only doing it to assure her safety. It had already taken her over an hour to convince him to let her speak with Izu.

It was not like she had wanted to talk to him. He was the one who wanted to have a conversation. Kouga had been suspicious from the beginning but she had decided to give him a chance. He had been less than pleasant towards her but he had also been gone for a while. If he had something to say, the least they could do was hear him out. She knew people made mistake, and she knew he had a rough time and her presence amongst the pack had disturbed his life slightly. If he wanted to make amends, who was she to say no to that? She wanted to help the pack have a peaceful life. She was the stranger among them and she needed to make her place.

She wanted Kouga's life to be easier and she wanted the pack to have a certain harmony. They had stood behind her when she needed it and she wanted to return the favor. Izu had made a mistake, he paid for it and maybe now he wanted to return.

She was the key to his return.

Although, she was not sure he would be able to get a word out. Not with the way Kouga was intimidating him. She turned around, and frowned at him, hoping he would get the message and back away slightly. She was not mad at him but she could not take another minute of this silence.

"So," he finally said, despite the daggers Kouga was throwing at him with his eyes.

"So," she replied.

"Listen… about everything that happened…" He tried to make it on his own. He had decided that he did not need a pack, especially a pack who did not have his interest at heart. It was easy, it could be done. You could do a lot even without a name and without a lot of money. But he was by himself. It was the only way he could live. He had tried mingling and it had blown up in his face. Loneliness was the only answer for him. And when he was bored? He fuelled himself with the rage he felt towards all of them. They had let him walk away because they had picked a human over him.

And then days turned into weeks and it began to let darkness swallow him whole. He was not made to leave by himself; it was no way of life for a wolf. It began slowly eating at him and in the end, he was leaving the house to work and that was it. The rest of the time he would remain in the darkness of his apartment. He would think, and he would brood and it would lead to nothing good. This world was no longer made for his kind. Facing it in a pack was hardly difficult, but going through it alone was nearly impossible.

He did not agree with everything Kouga was and everything he did. But he realized that was not everything. Nobody was going to agree with someone all the time. And his anger towards Kagome? Some of it was well placed, a lot of it was misdirected. He did not have to consider her pack if he felt like she was not, but nothing she had done had been to harm him. She had tried to help the situation and she had tried to help her friend. Much like the pack helped one and another. He still felt pain towards what happened but he could not hold it against her. She did not get him in that messy situation and she did not play a part in the decision making.

She had been there, and she had been a good punching bag to take it out on.

"I'm sorry." He could go on forever, but he was not one to talk much. He was stepping on his pride by coming to see her, and he was the one taking the first step. She was well within her rights to refuse but - but he was trying. Which was more than he could say about Kouga who had not reached out to him. Though, he did understand that he threatened a woman who was - apparently his mate to be. If he based himself on the new mark on her neck.

Kouga was the one who had mostly gotten harmed in all the fighting. He had been the bloody one, he had been the one risking the pack's safety. All of it to defend her. She felt like he deserved more of an apology than she did. Izu said some mean things about her, but she could move past those things. As long as he was being honest.

"Are you saying that to come back, or because you mean it?"

She did not need another person causing trouble for Kouga or for the pack. If he wanted back in, it was not her decision. Although she knew Kouga would be influenced by her reaction.

"I fucked up." He sighed. "I was hurt, and I fucked up." He twisted his mouth, wondering if he should say the next part. Then again, she was expecting him to be honest. "To me, pack is pack. Ya gotta participate, you gotta get involved and you gotta be a member." Being a girlfriend did not qualify. Helping once, did not qualify. It was a life long engagement.

"That's okay." She was not going to force anyone to accept her. She knew that some were set in their ways and she would not close the door to possible friendships but she was not going to force herself into their lives. "I just - I'm here to stay." She had told Kouga she loved him, she had accepted the mark he had left on her neck. She might have been uncertain a long time ago, but she no longer was. She was in it for the long run. Nothing was set in stone, and she still had to make a path, a way for herself, but she knew this would be a constant in her life.

She loved him and she wanted her life to be with him.

He was not a second place prize. He was not _the best she could get now_ , he was what she wanted. He was what she needed. There were some adjustments to make, but this could be it for them. This could be the beginning of it all.

And she did not want their relationship to be stain with conflicts and lost pack members. She wanted a good start for them.

"If you can deal with me, I can deal with you." It came out a little less polish than she intended but then again, he never feared telling her what he thought about her. Fair was fair.

He was forced to chuckle. "I think I can learn."

"Then I think Kouga is the one you should be apologizing to, not me."

"I'm still sorry."

"Thank you."

She offered him a smile, wishing him luck. She was a little more patient than Kouga was and she had a feeling that discussion would not go down as smoothly as this one had. She rose to her feet and finally met Kouga's glance. She could see the way his features were still hard as he harbored a little of rage. She knew that once they got talking, it would be better. Plus, the fact that she was so calm was probably helping him stay in control of his rage. She walked to the door and grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it. "Try not to kill him," she warned, amusement present in her tone.

"Easier said than done," he replied as he walked away from her.

 _He was harmless_. They both were. Kouga had punched him to protect her, and Izu had attacked her to unleash the pain he had kept locked away inside. Both were simply doing what came naturally to them. Kouga had been Izu's alpha for a long time and she knew there was a way for them to fix it. She closed the door behind her as she walked into the house. Kouga might not have offered them a lot of privacy but she was a bit kinder. Plus, the further she was, the better. It would help Kouga forget what happened.

She hoped it would work out. She wanted the pack to be happy and united.

She wanted this to feel like home.

-U-

She was not good at keeping secrets.

It had kept her up for a night or two but now that it was all said and done, she could breathe a little easier. Actually, now that she had actually gone and done it, she could talk about it with Kouga. It was not like she was trying to keep something from him or that she did not trust him. She simply did not know if she could trust herself to go through with it. She had spent a lot of time being uncertain and it was scary thing to take control of her life. But it was a good thing. It was insane to think she needed a fight with Ayame to truly realize what she had and what she wanted out of life.

Someone to threaten to take it all away, and she finally woke up and realized she had to fight to keep it.

Obviously, she still needed to learn how to navigate life but she decided to take it one step at a time.

Once she reached the house, she did not knock. A habit she had finally managed to completely learn. Instead, she opened it and walked in only to be welcomed by a bunch of smiles. She was over quite often, although the sleep overs were still rare. There in the corner, was Izu. He offered her a small wave and she returned it with a nod. There was still a bit of tension between Izu and Kouga but she hoped it would get better soon. They had talked - a conversation that had lasted for hours. It had also included a lot of shouting and one or two punches. However, for the most part, it had been calmed and it had been handled well. Once the two males got to say what they had to say, Izu was welcomed back into the pack.

Some acted as though he had done something horrifying, and others welcomed him as though he had never left. Kagome tried to pretend none of it happened. He was under enough stress with Kouga analyzing his every move. He had welcomed him bag with a probation. If he did anything Kouga did not approve of, he was leaving. Kagome knew there was a bit of pride and honor involved in that and she did not argue it. He did seem better than when he came to apologize. Wolves were supposed to be together. The pack would never be able to be apart - and she was okay with that. It was part of her reality.

"Hey guys, do you know where Kouga is?" she asked while clutching her envelope.

"He's in the kitchen," Ginta said with a smile. "Do you have a gift for him?"

"Not really," she said as she walked past them. She mostly had something to share with him and she did not know why she was nervous. He was always behind her, he was always supportive. That was not about to change.

She barely had time to enter the kitchen that she felt his body near hers. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and she leaned into his embrace. "Hey."

"Hey you." He had heard her come in, but he had decided to give her a chance to come in before invading her space.

Lately, something had been bothering her. He did not know what it was because she had not shared it with him. He had simply felt it through her aura. At first, he thought it had something to do with Izu's return but - then he decided against it. She had been the one who wanted it more than he did and he knew she would have told him if she was uncomfortable. Plus, there was no fear in her, it was something else. It had bothered him, and he had almost asked a couple of times but he had decided to keep himself in check. He could not force her to over share and there was no reason to be worried. Anything that was a problem, they had gotten rid of it.

She was at ease with him and he was at ease with her. And she was _very_ at ease with his youkai side. Some days, he wondered how in the world he was letting her go home with those marks.

So, he had managed to calm himself and decided that if he were patient, he would be rewarded for that behaviour. Especially considering how unnatural it was for him to act like that.

"I have something to show you," she said as she handed him the envelope. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, hoping he would not notice how nervous she was.

He cocked an eyebrow as he retrieved the brown envelope from her. Was this the mystery that she had been hiding this whole time? He sliced it open with his claw and retrieved papers from inside. He took them out before letting his eyes scan over them. It took a moment for him to understand but once he did, he grinned. "You enrolled in school?"

She shrugged. "My grades weren't that good. I didn't even know if they were going to accept me. And then I didn't know if I wanted to go back - if I could…" And she did not want to be a failure again. "But they accepted them." It was just basic classes, and she had to re-take a few more classes from high school but it was a start. For the first time in a long time, she had a goal and she had a direction. She was heading somewhere and she was happy about it. Ever since her return from the well, her life had been difficult and meaningless. She did not know what to do with herself. Slowly, she was finding a purpose for herself.

Kagome almost closed her eyes, waiting for him to stop her incessant babbling. And he did. By dropping the papers to the ground and wrapping his arms around her. He could not tell why she had chosen to keep it a secret until it was official, but he chose to respect her decision. Most of all, he did not want her to feel guilty. He wanted to feel open enough to share with him, but despite his insecurities, he was getting the feeling that this was not that much about him. She had said it; she was scared she would not get in. Kagome smiled more than before and she enjoyed life more than when he met up with her again, but she had her share amount of fears and insecurities.

He wanted to take them all away but he knew he could not. He could only love her and hope that eventually, she would let go of them. She used to be happy and carefree and he hoped she would find that part of herself again.

"I never doubted you," he said as he pressed a kiss on top of her head.

"I did."

"I know, that's because you're an idiot," he said with a grin.

"Who you calling idiot, you old man?"

He raised an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes; her best option would be to run. But, she did not take the out he was offering. He grabbed her sides and began tickling her without showing any mercy. She yelped loudly, laughter pouring out of her mouth as her legs slowly gave up on her. Before she could stop herself, she was crumbling to the ground, while Kouga never even gave her a break to catch her breath. Instead, he joined her on the floor, his grip on her like iron.

"Mercy, mercy," she begged between laughters.

"I thought I was an old man?" he said as he freed her from his grip.

"You are, that's why you fall for my tricks," she teased as she leaned against his chest, completely breathless. Her cheeks were painted red as she inhaled deeply a couple of times. She felt like she was going to _die_.

" _Hey Kouga, before you guys have sex, can we have our food?"_

And of course, the whole pack was there to make sure that any private moment was not so private. Before, she might have blushed a lot more than she had now. She opted to laugh instead. It had pretty much become a running gag that everyone assumed they were having sex all the time. Of course, Kouga chasing everyone out of the house, saying he would rip their heads off if they did not, was not something that had helped the situation. The guys had gotten their revenge by teasing the heck out of them.

She could live with that.

" _None of ya are getting food now_ ," he threatened. He had been kind enough to get some snacks but not anymore.

"This is going to be our life isn't it?"

"Maybe I can kill a few."

" _We heard that_."

"Good," Kouga shouted back.

Kagome giggled as she pressed her face to his chest. It was lively, it was moving and it was a family. Not that she had anything against her family - she loved them to death. But a life on a shrine was perhaps not the life for her. She had already gone against every miko traditions when she traveled to the past. Clearly, it was not what soothed her the most. Plus, the shrine did not represent the same thing as before. It was a bit meaningless now and people did not believe as much as they used to in the past. However, she still had a passion for helping people, and perhaps she could achieve that through returning to school.

"Hey."

Kagome raised her head and met his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too."

-U-

"You know, if you want to - it's okay."

"Mom, I told you, I just want to - _I don't want to do it permanently."_

"If you do, it's okay."

Kagome sighed as she dropped the shirt she had been folding on her bed. "I wanted to… I don't know what I want."

Suddenly, all the pieces in her life were falling in order and it had not happened in a long time. She did not know if she was rushing things or if she was going to the right pace. She was trying to make all aspects of her life function and she did not want to hurt anyone. Especially not her mother. She had been so supportive of her through everything and it would not be fair to abandon her. She did however want to make some choices that might make her life and Kouga's life a little easier. That involved taking adult decisions that she did not know if she was ready to take.

Her mother seemed to believe she was.

"Are you upset?"

Miyu shook her head. "I'm happy for you."

Kagome had been sad for a very long time, and despite Miyu's cheerful attitude, that smile on her daughter's face barely returned. It was not until Kouga came back into her life that she saw joy in her again. She had made her peace with her daughter growing up once she had begun traveling through the well. Sometimes, she did not her from her for weeks at a time. At first, it had worried her sick and she had always checked up on the wall house. After a while, she had learned to let it go and trust her daughter. Kagome always came back. She had been young but she had matured through those travels and she had come back as a young woman.

Now, her life was moving forward and it was normal that she wanted to do the same.

She had learned to live adventures and being at home, it was not an adventure for her. It was the routine. Her daughter was always out to explore and live life to the fullest. It was perhaps another part of the reason she had been so sad upon her return; there had been nothing left for her to explore. It was not like she could have gone on a schooling adventure; she had barely graduated. Instead, she watched most of her friends moved on while she had to pick up a life she had left behind years ago. She had save the world but she had not been rewarded for her efforts - not that she had asked for anything in return of course.

Kagome was a selfless soul.

Even now, she was not thinking about herself; she was thinking about her mother. And she did not want her to do that. She wanted her to go after her happiness, she wanted her to chase it. Kagome had a good head on her shoulders and she trusted her to make the right decisions. If she thought this was a good thing to do, then she believed it was. She was not rushing into anything. As a matter of fact, she had been quite careful since she had begun dating Kouga. At some point, she was afraid she might lose herself in the relationship but she had proven her wrong.

She had set goals for herself, she had found ambitions and most of all, she found a place where she thought she belonged.

Could she really ask for anything more for her daughter?

"I want you to be happy."

"So I'm not making a mistake?"

Miyu smiled. "I don't think that you are. But even if you were, that's how you learn." She thought it might be the right thing to do. She had to follow it through. Worst case scenario, nothing was going anywhere. She could always change her mind.

"But I'm only trying it. I don't know yet."

The shrine had become a safe haven for her since her return from the other side of the well. It was the only thing that had not changed during her prolonged absence. She was attached to it and she found comfort in it. Kagome sighed before sitting down on the bed.

"I think I'll like it."

"I think you'll like it too."

Kagome smiled at her mother while she looked at her three black suitcases. What was she supposed to pack in there? What was part of her that she could not let go of? Or did she want to let go of everything and start fresh? She did not know. Plus, it hardly mattered; it was just a trial. And before she even thought about making such a change, she knew she had one important thing to do; she had to talk to Kouga.

And that made her nervous.

-U-

He was nervous.

He was not often nervous, but today he was nervous.

First, it had been the school thing - that she had not told him about. Now she had to _talk_ to him. Not only did she have to _talk_ to him, but she had suitcases with her. He tried to rattle his brain to find a logical explanation for her suitcases but he could not. They had not planned a trip, they had not planned to go away together… and yet there she stood in front of him. But he was a rational man, he was a calm person right? He was not going to jump the gun, he was not going to panic because she was standing in front of him, wanting to talk, with suitcases.

Only panicky people panicked.

And he was not a panicky person.

Okay, maybe he was a little bit. But he was not going to let her see that. Everything was well between them. He just had to remind himself of that, and it would be fine. If he just breathed and thought about the fact that they had not fought and all was well _for once_ , he would know that there was no reason for him to feel the way he was feeling.

"You're stressing me out," she finally said with a laugh.

The moment she had shown up on his doorstep, he had made a face. Granted, it was mostly due to the suitcases. Granted, she could have talked to him downstairs instead of telling him she wanted to talk to him in private. But really, this was simply not a conversation that she wanted to have in front of everybody. She knew that even in the room they did not even have any kind of privacy but, at least it gave the impression that they did. It was already better. Plus, it was not like the guys were not going to find out - they would. But this way, she would not have to see anyone's face or reaction.

"You can breathe," she added again when he slumped his shoulders.

Maybe she should have announced herself with another sentence. He looked like he was five seconds away from having a breakdown.

"I'm fine," he finally blurted out.

"I know."

"We're fine."

He was like a fucking broken robot.

Again, she laughed. "We are."

Yes, she had assumed correctly; he was freaking the fuck out about them. Again, the phrase _we need to talk_ , was one she needed to work on.

"I talked to my mother," she finally said. She had tortured him long enough and she felt like if she did not tell him he might die and that was really not what she wanted to happen. "And you, I enrolled in school." Finally, after years of waiting.

He nodded. "Yes, you did. I was really happy for you." Why was he blabbering? Why in the world was he not letting her fucking talk? Shut up, idiot, he told himself. The longer he dragged it out, the worse it was for him. He had already even begun tapping his foot against the floor.

"I know you were," she said as she took a step forward and gently grabbed his face with her hands. He was too stressed and if he did not calm down soon, she might lose it. She gently brushed his cheek with her thumb. "You've been very supportive." Whatever she needed, he gave it to her, even if it was not in his best interests. He sacrificed himself for her, and he put his duties aside to help her. She could not watch him constantly rip himself apart. She was slowly learning to be whole and she wanted him to be whole as well.

"I'm going to be busier with school," she added as she sat beside him. "And you should be busier with the pack too."

"The pack doesn't take that much of my time," he defended. Plus, she was part of the pack. Taking care of her was also part of his duties. Not only that, but she had agreed to keep the intended mark. It meant he even had an extra duty towards her. He did not want her to think that she was an extra burden for him. She was not.

"But it should. You need to look after everybody and I understand that."

"But I still have time for you."

"I know that." He was never going to let her finish was he? "Kouga, you can stop freaking out you know."

"I'm not freaking out."

"I'm not breaking up with you."

"Oh." Oh? Well, now he had pretty much given away the fact that he had been stressed as fuck about that. It was like he really thought she was breaking up with him; he could not find a reason for that to happen. Still, his heart had been beating a little fast.

"I want to make things easier for us, and for you. You put a lot of your duties aside for me, and I want to keep working on us." She knew she was not a youkai and she was not a wolf. It did not change the fact that she believed in them and she wanted this to work. "I need to get use to the pack life - and to my new life that's going to be starting." If she did not learn to juggle it all now, she might never be able to do it. She had taken everything one step at a time and now she was deciding to jump all in.

She inhaled deeply. "I wanna try moving in."

He blinked.

"I mean, I'm asking - I mean, you have said before…" Why was he not saying anything? This was not the reaction she had been hoping for… "You said I could, so I thought…"

And he silenced her by pressing his lips on her. All the worries, all the stress; it left him through that one kiss. Excitement bubbled through him and he wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her. "Are you sure?"

She laughed. "I want to _try_."

"You want to move in here? With the whole pack?"

She nodded. "With the whole pack?"

"You want to live somewhere where we will never have private sex?"

Kagome was forced to hide her face in his chest. "Yes. I will eventually get used to do."

He could not believe it. He had talked about it before but she had seemed to hesitate and he had decided to not push it. But now, she was coming to him out of her own free will, and she was saying that she wanted to move in with him. This was a girl, he had loved forever, a girl he had given up on. He had actually let her go for her own sake. He had never forgotten her. And after all these centuries, he finally got her. He got the girl. And everything he wanted.

"How did I get so fucking lucky?"

She smiled. "Five hundred years of bad luck, your karma had to turn at some point," she teased.

He grinned, his fangs poking out. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her another time. He was about to lay her down on the bed when he arched an eyebrow. "You have got to be fucking kidding me?"

She frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Why are you twats in front of the door?"

"Can we come in?"

"You see what I was talking about?" he asked Kagome, exasperated.

She chuckled. "Yes, you can."

And then, eight wolves bursted through the door and ran in their direction. Neither of them had time to brace themselves as the wolves jumped on the bed, hugging them.

"Sis is going to live here now?"

"Oh it's gonna be great."

"We're gonna go camping."

"And movie night, movie night totally has to be a thing now."

"Ohmygod, and cooking. We'll have to cook the meat."

They kept blabbering on while Kouga made eye contact with Kagome. She flickered her glance from him to the boys, a huge smile beaming on her face. It was not where neither of them thought they would end up but…

This was home.

Finally.

-The End-


End file.
